LVIII: Hymm of a Rapper
Now Playing: The Catholic Rap
Topic: Songs and Quotes
This is a song I made up during Church History.

The Catholic Rap

((Rap Beat))
Yo! Ho-Ho-Holy Spirit!

Word! ...of God!

We hate gays!
We hate women! (Women!)
We hate your sperm
all a-swimmin'! (Swimmin'!)

((Rap Beat))

We fear Muslims!
We hate Jews! (Jews!)
Those damn Protesants
give us the Blues! (Blues!)

((Rap Beat))

Ben 16
is our Pope! (Pope!)
He got elected
by a puff of smoke! (Smoke!)

((Rap Beat))

We are a tool
of the Right! (Right!)
If you disagree,
we will smite! (Smite!)

((Rap Beat))

Crusades!
Ye-Yeah!
Inquisition!
No one expects 'em!
Creationism!
Hell-yeah!

Give a shout out to my homies!
Jerry Falweizzle!
Word up... to Jesus!
Pat RobertO-son!
Yo-Yo!
Kent "Dino" Hovind!
He's da shit!
Big Ben X-V-I!

Evolution!

((Record Stops))

((silence))

What da fuck?!

Abortion!

Oh, shit! Richelieu, waste that prick!

((Gun shots))

-End of song-

...Ah, that's nice. One day I will record it under the name "50 Cent Donation".

Shout out's:
Catholics (I'm one!)

Just Stupid:
The Catholic Rap

-Mr. Joseph

#57
Topic: Complete randomness
Well, I found out today that "SnakeEater III ...His Law" involves bikers and gonorrhea.

You dirty, dirty boy, you.

Shout out's:
The SnakeEater

Just Stupid:
His Law

-Mr. Joseph

Entry 56: Bushed!
Topic: WARNING: Politics
While Chelsea Clinton is living a life of prosperity and progress...

..Jeanna Bush is...

...BUSHED!

LOL!

Anyway, This is a great website for internet cartoons. Especially the "Gay Agenda".

It's at Ebolaworld.com

Well, see ya'll later. (Hurr!)

-Mr. Joseph

5 to the 5 to make the big 55, and Gene Simmons!
Mood:  incredulous
Topic: Celebrities!
I MET GENE SIMMONS!!!

...via phone.

OK, let me tell you the tale.

My mom is in New York right now on a business trip. She works with stockbrokers, so they are all at a seminar or something and none other than Gene Simmons of Kiss is opening up some kind of business. So my mom calls me and tells me this. I think, 'oh, cool'. So my mom (who is normally terrified of celebrities) goes up to him and asks for an autograph and convinces him to talk to me. So she calls me, and I answer (somehow knowing that something was up) "If you are about to give Gene Simmons the phone, I'l have a heart attack."

So she gives him the phone.

Here is the transcript remembered to the best of my ability.

ME: Hello?
Gene Simmons: Hello, Joey?
ME: Yes? Who is this?
Gene Simmons: I'm here with your mom.
ME: Are you Gene Simmons?
Gene Simmons: Yes, I'm Gene Simmons.
ME: Oh my God! That's so cool! Kiss is awesome!
Gene Simmons: Thanks
ME: (Incomprehensible yammering)
Gene Simmons: Well, I have to go now.
ME: Ok, see ya!
((Phone hangs up))

OH MY GOD.

And best of all, mom got some pictures of him actually talking on the phone (to me)!!!

Amazing!

Wow, what a day to be sick!

I'll post the pictures as soon as I get them.

Shout out's:
Gene Simmons
Mom

Just Stupid:
Me yammering

-Mr. Joseph

Entry 54, where are you? : Picutres a Go-Go
Now Playing: She Blinded Me With Science ... Thomas Dolby
Topic: Pictures a Go-Go
"SCIENCE!"
-Thomas Dolby

Well, I have some brilliant pictures for you.

They are from Thissiterocks and are VERY funny.

First, a nice German picture...

A picture from the Polics Files...

"Drop...the beer!"

Our President...reading?

"Hey! All these words are funny-lookin'! ...Oh."

This is just funny.

"I'll just redorkulate the analysis of multiputer recording device with my LASER! And..."

Shout out's:
ThissiteRocks
Thomas Dolby

Just Stupid:
Dubya

-Mr. Joseph

Entry 53: Memories
Topic: Tribute of Honor
This was supposed to be up yesterday...

I remeber where I was when I heard about the planes crashing into the towers. I was in Gym and I thought it was cool because I wanted to be at war. I thought war was cool. (I know, so, so retarded).

I know now that the events that happened 4 years to the day yesterday are NO LAUGHING MATTER. I continue to hope that the victim's families are doing well.

And, I hope President Bush will realize all the things he is doing wrong and changes his policies.

The resolve of our great nation is being tested. But make no mistake, we will show the world that we will pass the test.
* George W. Bush [speech on September 11, 2001]

I hope so, President Bush, I hope so.

"There is no terrorist threat, say it with me..."
-Michael Moore

I'm sorry, but you are wrong this time, Mr. Moore. You are wrong. The London and Spainish bombings are proof of that.

"What?!"
-Me, upon hearing what happened.

It is important we remember to fight terrorism to the best of our abilities. This includes all terrorism, foreign AND domestic (KKK, Operation: Rescue, etc.)

May God Bless America.

Amen,
-Mr. Joseph

Entry 52
Now Playing: Out of Touch ... Hall & Oates
Topic: Lists for Fun
Hey hey,

I know I have been busy, but here is a list of the top ten greatest car chase movies of all time.

1.) The Road Warrior
2.) Speed
3.) Terminator 2: Judgment Day
4.) Gone in 60 Seconds (original)
5.) Matrix Reloaded
6.) Lethal Weapon 4
7.) Cobra
8.) Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines
9.) To Live and Die in L.A.
10.) Duel

Well, it may vary, and I could be wrong, but here is a beauty shot. Best 007 stunt. Ever.

Also, this is good for the heart...

Still also, I am getting a THIRD blog at Rotten Tomatoes so I can be part of a group there with my friends. And I will probably end up converting my blogspot blog into a duo-blog for me and my Republican buddy, Adam. I'll keep you updated.

Shout outs:
Car Chases
Stallone
Governator
Hall & Oates

Just Stupid:
Ignoring my blogs

-Mr. Joseph

Area 51... Damn Book
Topic: Stories, rants, etc.
Coincidentally, I had to read that book for my Science Fiction class at school...

Anyway, sorry to everyone who has been waiting for me to update. Well, after 50+ entries, I'm a bit tired, but I'm back and here are some delights for all of you.

First, awhile ago at work, me and Adam overheard a speaker talking about health foods so here are two quotes we thought were hilarious.

"We're not on Fiber, yet."

"Don't wash your poultry!"

Haha...haha. I guess you had to be there. Adam got a blog, but he doesn't update it. Duh.

Also, here is a great pic of one of our greatest government officials...

And here is one of Bush...

Here is a beautiful picture of me and Terri at Homecoming back in October 2004.

This beauty was featured in our school yearbook! (Also, that shirt I am wearing is NOT tin foil.)

Well, I promise I will update more, but with school it will be a bit tricky...now, off to watch "The Incredible Shrinking Man"!

Don't ask.

Shout out's:
Me and Terri
Adam's Blog
Colin Powell

Just Stupid:
Fiber
Bush
Adam not updating his blog
Area 51

-Mr. Joseph

Entry 50: A Call to Arms
Topic: WARNING: Politics
Last week, in a surprising and immature move, Pat Robertson called for the assassination of Humanitarian Socialist Leader of Venezuela, Hugo Chavez.

In reponse to this incredible act of immaturity and stupidity, I, Mr. Joseph...

...am CALLING FOR THE ASSASSINATION OF PAT ROBERTSON!

((insert scary thunderous music))

Yes, I am calling for the assassination of Pat Robertson.

"I think we should 'take him out', which could mean a number of things, including kidnapping."
-Mr. Joseph (on Pat Robertson)

This quote was overheard by Mr. Joseph while he was talking to himself.

This is the third major attack on Pat Robertson by Mr. Joseph. (The first being an unflattering picture of the Reverend on Mr. Joseph's homepage and the second being "An Open Letter to Pat Robertson")

You can find that letter here on SuperSite II's Entry "An Open Letter to Pat Robertson"

Shout out's:
None

Just Stupid:
Pat Robertson

Next Target:
Evangelist to be determined

-Mr. Joseph

49
Now Playing: Safety Dance ... Men Without Hats
Topic: Complete randomness
There is only one thing we can do in a situation like this...

...

... BANG YO' HEAD!

Just some randomness for you...

-Mr. Joseph