Tears stream slowly down my cheeks as I reflect
upon my life as I see it now!

I think we truly begin to understand ourselves
at the time in our lives that appear to be the
darkest. When we feel all alone, with no one to
ease our pain. Life seems to be a constant
struggle without end.

The day to day tributes that seem to knock us
down time after time. When we start to think
that our mere existence on this earth is for
nothing. They say we all have a purpose but,
when that purpose seems to be so far away it's
totally unattainable I begin to wonder why
God is putting us through it. Why the pain
I feel inside is so strong that I cease
wanting to live another minute.

People who have never felt the depths of
depression will never understand my line
of thinking. How could anyone just end it
all. I do realize it is the survivors that
hurt the most in the end but, oh for that
brief period of time the thought just
filters through my mind for the peace I
must find in the end. That the hereafter
has got to be better then the here now.

Red14karat

This page is dedicated to a dear friend of mine
who dealt with depression everyday of his life.
Finally one day, he did end it all. I have to
understand the feelings he must have felt,
the lonliness at the deepest darkest hour in
order to follow through with his plan to take
his life. Everyone please cherish your friends
and knowwhen they need your shoulder to cry on.
Make sure to be there when they need you. Never
let a day pass without acknowledging just how
important they are to you because one day they
just might not be there. Steve left behind three
beautiful children who miss him dearly.