Unsolicited Prophecies

Natural Disaster, Denver, 11/12/99:
The city will be destroyed by a "pressure" from outer space.

Miracle, Recording Industry, 12/5/99:
Ricky Martin makes a bet with his agent, claiming that it's his musical talent rather than his dashing good looks that are selling CDs. In order to prove his side and win $5, Martin hires a plastic surgeon to uglify him. He is never heard from again.

Deadlock, American Presidential Election: All attempts to finalise the selection of a President-elect will be foiled by lawsuit after lawsuit raised by both the Gore and Bush campaigns. On January 20, Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert will attempt to take over in accordance with the Constitution, but will be hit by a lawsuit filed by President Clinton, seeking to retain his office by declaring the 2-terms limit invalid. By March, lawyers for Ralph Nader will get into the act, hoping to disqualify the top two candidates for "being like one evil monster with two heads that's ruining America," but will be slapped down by an appelate court's ruling that he is "a complete idiot." Constitution Party candidate Howard Phillips will set up a provisional government in South Carolina and decree that the Bible is the highest law of the land. Twenty-seven people will subsequently be tried, convicted, and sentenced to stoning for boiling a kid in its mother's milk. The nation will limp along until 2004, when the nation will unanimously elect Colin Powell against his will.

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