Signs of the Apocalypse

2/26/99: Satanic heat lamp discovered in hotel bathroom in Newburg, NY during Patriot League Basketball Tournament.

10/18/99: David Hasselhoff appears on a tortilla in Mexico. A local resident was quoted as saying "¡Ai, qué lastima! ¡Mi alfombra me dicho el tiempo!"

11/5/99: I am sitting here in my office in Vienna. It's the top floor of our building - actually, it's the entire floor as it's really a converted apartment. I am sitting here surrounded by sliding glass doors leading to different sections of the roof. Anyway, every winter, ravens migrate from Russia to Austria. As I sit here, there are massive, mean, very intimidating ravens all over the railings about 5 feet away from me. I think the end of the world is here.
Sign seen by Josh Brose

11/9/99: Eerie hot wind experienced at CU Pep Band practice. It should not be 70 degrees out in the second week of November in upstate New York. The only explanation? God farted.

12/3/99: Mauro Tucci reveals that God can be identified by His enourmous sombrero.

12/13/99: The following away message was spotted on Mike's IM: "NEWS BULLETIN: I have finished my Education paper a full 48 and a half hours before it is due at 5:00 Wednesday afternoon. Yes, that means it is done 2 whole days early. I have never done that before, and usually shun those people who have (which are not great in numbers). I apologize for my actions, and beg for forgiveness. In other news, record lows and record snowfalls have been reported in Hell......
I am now taking the advice of the all-knowing chocolate, which said "You worked hard - promise yourself a reward." Well, I did, and am giving myself the night off from studying!:-P"

1/28/00: In the Read Hall third floor lounge, Potato Prophet Dave won the boot game 11-9 over Potato Pope Stenny. His winning throw landed both boots standing on the cement blocks, both pointing the same direction, which was perpendicular to the direction that the boots spin when thrown. This was the first time either player managed to get both boots standing on the cement blocks in the same throw.

2/7/00: Mike discovers a squirel-shaped area of chipped paint on the inside of the bathroom door.

3/6/00: Oliveri's Pizza delivers Mike's order only six minutes after the promised deadline, shattering its previous record.

3/6/00: Mike receives three mentions in Signs of the Apocalypse. Make that four.

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