• after an opponent's taunt: "I cast a llama in your presence, oh grating one!"

• (R1+A) "My god! Your nose looks lust like Lee Iacocca!"

• "The difference between us is that I'm mighty and you're... puny."

• (R2+X) "Say, do you have any jellied ants? This is taking so long I'm getting the munchies."

• (R1+O) Drogn demonstrates the long, flexible nature of the aardly tongue by sticking it out and doing rope tricks until the "taunt" key (Select) is released. "Biidaaaaaaaaaaaah"

• (R1+[]) Drogn points and says, "Is that a two yen piece?"

• "For someone in such good condition you're remarkably lame."

• (R2+O) "So tell me, what's your fighting style called? Dance of the Pregnant Water Buffalo?"

• "Ever tried making a sandwich with turkey, cream cheese, vegemite, and peanut butter? It's great!"

• "Maybe I should Edit you up a giant robot or something, you could use the help."

• (R1+X) "Ever thought of becoming a potholder? No? How about a trivet? You look like a trivet."

• Wait, didn't anyone tell you? This is the 'Clash of Authors', not the 'Clash of Clothing Styles'."

• "Please take a number and prepare to be stomped."

• (R2+[]) "Could we get on with this? Ultra is on in a few minutes and I don't want to miss it."

• (R1+R2) "You fight like a cookie."

• (R2+A) Drogn pulls out the Superdimension Yo-Yo and plays with it, palm-down, until Select is released. The screen blacks out in cycles as it turns the air opaque.

• Standard: Does some nifty sword-swipes over his opponent, then holds the final position as the rest of the screen dissolves to a still of a riverbank with a cherry tree in bloom in the background. A few petals blow past before the scene fades to black and cuts away.

• Time Over: Drogn looks down at his watch. "Pi past a walrus? Not already!"

• Draw: Looks at opponent. Looks at the camera. "Well, that was pointless. Fun, though."

• Using Time Loop super: As soon as the opponent's power bar is depleted, another Drogn Loops in and performs a Train Wreck, then another Loops in and pulls out a Ten Ton Tin O' Treet, before the opponent finally falls, crushed under it. All the Drogns dust off thier hands, look from one to the next to the next to the next and back, then the three spares vanish one after another in flashes of blue light untill only the most recent one is left. He hops up on the can and poses like an Olympic gold medalist while The Chatteranian National Anthem (by The Bonzo Dog Doodah Band) plays.

• Desperation: Stands unstable and panting over the opponent, and the rest of the screen fades to a cliff above the sea. "Truly a worthy foe, but I AM *VICTORIOUS*!" As he says this last Drogn straightens and clenches a fist overhead, while a massive wave throws spray in the air behind him. Freeze frame for a second before cutting to the next scene.

• Perfect Victory: Drogn stands with arms folded while the background fades away to swirls of mist, the only other things visible a damp brick wall and a streetlamp. He then picks up the opponent, sets them on their feet, and gives them a shove to send them stumbling off into the mist. "Go. Live in fear." After they vanish, Drogn's head starts inflating untill it's about the size of the rest of his body, then explodes in a flash of white that fills the screen. Cut away.

• "Mecha" battle: If the stage isn't already Tokyo, it fades into it, the skyline ravaged and in flames. Drogn swims out into Tokyo Bay to the accompaniment of a ragged brass riff. Also used for a victory gained using his ground Ultimate attack.

• Launcher: down-fwd-triangle: Moonshot - Drogn crouches and spins around, doing a tail sweep to knock the opponent off balance before launching a double uppercut with his fist and the hilt of Shadow Zephyr

• Normal moves:

  • Triangle: sword swipe (strong slow punch)

  • Square: Fist strike (fast punch)

  • X: axe kick (strong slow kick)

  • O: basic waist-height kick (fast kick)

  • Though not an attack, bouncing back from a throw is still a normal action. Hitting X while in the air will let Drogn land on his feet and balanced, any of the other normal attack keys will let him bounce off the wall in an immediate counterattack. Damage is done before landing/bouncing.

• Command normals:

  • up+square or triangle: Wing swat

  • down-X: Tail sweep

  • Though not really an attack, blocking is still a normal action, back+down. Drogn crouches a bit and brings his wings foreward to block.

• Throws: None of these moves can be blocked or interupted with an attack, only dodged.

  • Triangle+O: Drogn jumps up and bounces off the opponent's head, making them stagger foreward, then reverses himself quickly in midair with his wings and comes down with both feet, knocking the opponent down. However, if he misses the first jump he's wide open. 5% on each hit.

  • back+triangle: Super Wind Blast - Drogn glows for a moment then claps his wings foreward and generates a powerful gust of wind that blows the opponent off their feet. As his wings are fairly long this can be performed from a little outside normal striking range, up to about one bodylength away. 8%

  • back+X: Super Kick - Drogn glows for a moment before leaning back and unleashing a kick that would make Van Damme turn green with envy. 10%

• Specials:

  • right1: Grav Pulse - fires a distortion ball from Shadow Zephyr, which will home in a bit. The opponent has to get over a bodylength and a half out of the path before it will miss. 10%

  • right2: Cyclone - Drogn spins Shadow Zephyr rapidly and rushes foreward up to 1/3 the length of the arena before helicopter-ing upwards a bit. Any opponent caught in the attack will be swept along with it, taking up to 18 hits (nine horizontal, nine vertical) for 1% each, but watch out - if you don't dodge after you land they'll fall on top of you and do 3% back.

  • right1+right2 (not enough energy to do a Time Loop): Shadowrang - Drogn throws Shadow Zephyr, trailing shadows behind it, and it strikes-loops-strikes-loops-strikes and returns, doing 5% with each hit.

  • back-back or fwd-fwd: Viper Striking, not a damaging move in itself, but a useful way to move around the area, and the basis for his charging attacks. Basically, he vanishes from where he's standing and reappears two bodylengths away with a streak of green light connecting the two points. Basically a flat wire-fu superleap at BLAZING SPEEED!! As the opening of his charge attacks, it makes them very hard to block or dodge, since he's usually already in the opponent's face and striking before there's much time to react. Anticipation counters or combo-breaker moves will work as usual, of course.

  • fwd-fwd-triangle: charge then do multiple sword strikes, diagonal down-right/down-left/right/left/down, leaving the opponent slammed into the floor. 3% each, starting when you tap the triangle - tapping fwd and holding the second press is always "run". Missing with this attack will leave Drogn off-balance, he'll fall flat on his face.

  • fwd-fwd-square: charge while spinning like a corkscrew and deliver a single, nasty punch that can knock the oppponent back a step or two. 10%

  • fwd-fwd-X: charge, then flip airborne with a sweep of the wings and do a nasty double kick. 15% and will leave Drogn flat on his butt if it misses. Knocks the opponent down.

  • fwd-fwd-O: Charge, then turn it into a wheel kick. 12% Staggers the opponent.

  • up-up-keep tapping up regularly: Fly - this is listed under Specials only because it changes the behavior of most of the other attacks to do something more than just their normal damage or do it at range. Drogn cannot do his Launcher, Command Normal, Command Throw, or Flash Finisher moves while flying. Any Super attack will automatically land him after the move is complete. Altered commands are below:

    • triangle: Wind Blast - does punch damage but also knocks the opponent back a bit.

    • square: Willy-willy - kicks up a dust devil that does no damage but spins the opponent around, so they can't attack for a second or two. Great time to toss a few distortion balls, or even set up for a Firefall, ne?

    • X: punches alternating with sword strikes, mainly useful for juggling.

    • O: Alternating kicks. Does the phrase "Boot to the head!" mean anything to you?

    • right1: Fires a trio of distortion balls swirling around each other. They do 5% damage each but if one hits it will suck the other two in, and they follow a wider path, making it harder to dodge.

    • right2: Orbiter - fires a steady, greenish energy beam that grabs the opponent and smashes them around like what happened to Vampire Hunter D in the climactic battle of the movie by the same name. Five hits at 3% each, and leaves the opponent stunned, understandably.

    • right1+right2 (not enough energy to do a Time Loop): Spinal Tap - a direct ripoff of Gaia's Overdrive move, Drogn spins Shadow Zephyr like a drill and tries to land on the opponent, doing massive nasty damage. 15%

• Supers:

  • right1+right2 with one energy bar: Time Loop - Drogn appears near the opponent; they and a second Drogn replay the last three seconds of action. Doubleteaming with yourself! Wai! Time this carefully and you can have up to four Drogns on screen at once, as long as you have three full power bars. No inherent damage.

  • X+O with one energy bar: Train Wreck - fires a massive barrage of Grav Pulses (17) that do 2% damage each. They home as usual, and one hitting will pull the rest in.

  • up-up-down+X with one energy bar: Firehose of Youth - a time attack, this one involves blasting the opponent with a time energy beam that looks suspiciously like a Kamehameha, which reverse-ages them to about three or so for a few seconds, during which time they are really pretty weak, like a normal three year old. Just before performing it, Zerro shouts, "YOU GET TO DRINK FROM THE FIREHOSE!" If he wins the battle while the opponent is de-aged, they'll spend a longer period of time returning to normal, aging back over the course of a day or two. 35% damage. Rare alternate (only at close range): Ten Ton Tin O' Treet - Drogn flies up and pulls a HUGE can of imitation Spam out of nowhere, then slams it down on the opponent for 35% damage. The opponent is squashed to about 1/3 their normal height for a few seconds after this attack, making them move slower. The overall effect is mechanically identical to the Firehose of Youth, but with a different method.

• Desperation: back-fwd-back-triangle: Primal Rage - Drogn throws back his head and screams like a Dragon Ball'er, and greenish lightning crashes in a cascade around him. Up to a bodylength away does 30% damage, one to two does 15%, two to three does 8%, three to four does 4%, and four to five bodylengths away the greatly dispersed lightning does a paltry 2% damage. However, the opponent will be carried outward with the energy pulse, taking damage from all the rings they pass through. Total for all five rings: 59%

• Ultimate Attack:

  • On the ground: down-down+fwd-fwd-X with two energy bars Scale Up - Drogn gets three to five times taller, depending on how much space is available, and all normal or special attacks do double damage (up to 55%). Lasts eight seconds. Logically, this should not require energy to use, since Scaling is an innate ability, but dealing double damage without that as a limiting factor would be cheesy in the extreme. Only requiring 2/3 of the energy bars I can justify, though, as Supers each use up one, and firing off a double-damage Super is the only way to get to the 55% max-per-attack limit, with any other attacks you can pull off in the remaining few seconds a nice bonus.

  • In the air: up-up+fwd-fwd-square with full energy bars: Firefall - Another direct ripoff of Gaia, this time of his Soul Bomb attack, this fires a bodylength-wide column of greenish-white energy straight down from an outstretched hand. Too nasty to block, but you can dodge. 60%

• Flash Finisher: back-back+down-up+back-fwd-right1+right2: Die, dammit! DIE DIE DIE! - Begins by launching Drogn into the air, then lancing out with an Orbiter AND a Train Wreck spiraling around it, which lasts five seonds, then drops the opponent on the arena floor. As they weakly struggle to roll to their hands and knees, Drogn performs a Firefall on their sorry ass. To be really sadistic, enter the combination then hit R1+L1 again (no power bar required) to do a Time Loop as it starts to have a second Drogn appear and send a constant stream of Train Wrecks at the opponent. Keep doing this to get up to eight Drogns on screen at once! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOyeah!

• Alternate Flash Finisher and special ending animation: Chronos Crusher (25% chance of appearing) - His time loop glows and a ball of blue time energy collects in Drogn's left hand, while a wind blows up out of nowhere and the background fades to black shot with lightning strikes. He waves his hand in a circle while calling out "CHRONOOOOOOOOSSSS......" then the glowing trail left in the air flies forweard and traps the opponent, holding them spread eagled as the image of a clock face forms over them. "...CRUSHER!!" Drogn brings both hands foreward as if to throw an energy attck, and indeed a bunch of fat lightning bolts fly from his hands to the opponent, but rather than merely electrocuting them, they erase parts of the character from their own continuity with each strike. This lasts for a few seconds while the transparent clock hands can be seen spinning madly in opposite directions, then the clock face breaks and fades away and the lightning stops. For a moment all is still, then the opponent begins to blow away as trails of dust on the wind. When they're completely gone, the background returns to normal, and Drogn buffs his fingernails for a minute, before biting his lip, and muttering, "Maybe I did go a little overboard.... Oh well, what the hell..." Then with a blaze of Edit power (Golden FX, which you will note are not used anywhere in his fighting moves, as the whole point is to NOT use Edit in the battle) the other character rezzes up again like the guy at the beginning of _Tron_, though still knocked out and wearing pink bunny slippers and the _cutest_ little crepe tutu. Drogn then walks off, whistling the theme from _Kolchak: The Night Stalker_

• Team Helper:

  • The Anti-Twix: Drogn hops onto the screen, using Shadow Zephyr to parry the opponent's attack and riposting into a shove that sends them back a few steps. "None for me!", warns Drogn's team mate. "TWO FOR YOU!" shouts Drogn, as they do a simultaneous Martial Arts Sub-Orbital Punt kick (See "Ranma 1/2" for further reference). Combined damage 12% and it takes a second and a half for the opponent to land. Should they land on their head (fairly common) they take another 3% damage.

• Team Supers:

  • Team edit: Inter-Continental Ballistic Snowball - quick-cut to something that looks like a a construction scaffold around a white missile, populated by a small horde of Air and Ice sprites. They all jump back and the gantry flashes, launching the missile with no apparent exhaust trail into the sky. Cut again to a low orbit view where the missile zooms up, past, and back down, leaving a contrail as the outer shell of ice ablates away on reentry. Cut back to the arena where what's left of the missile, a well-packed, slightly damp snowball about half a screen in diameter, lands in the part of the screen Drogn and/or his team mate aren't in. 30% and makes half the screen into a half-speed zone - groundbound characters can't travel at full speed untill it melts, which takes a ten or fifteen seconds and looks as fake as Drogn's martial arts moves.

  • Team Kaiju: G-Stomp - Drogn calls out to Skribulous, who enters the screen. He then says, "Are you ready?" Skribulous replies with, "Let's go!" Both of them superleap upwards and out of the screen. Moments later, the two of them land -- but since they are both in their giant forms, only their feet can be seen onscreen as they take turns reducing the hapless opponent to a messy smear on the floor. 45%

• Attack chains: These are strings of punches and kicks that lead up to a sparklie-enhanced hit, which is harder to block and does double hitstun, but breaks the rhytm of the attack. When one of these is executed, a golden hologram will appear floating over Drogn's end of the arena listing how many hits he got in, slowly fading out over the course of five seconds. Oddly, it can be read normally from any angle. For the purposes of abbreviation, I'll use X and O for the obvoius buttons, A for triangle, [] for square, < for back, > for foreward, V for down, and ^ for up. One worning, these borrow a fair amount from Stooge-Fu and Warner Brothers School karate.

  • [] , X , X : A punch followed by an upwards kick and a green-streaking down kick.
  • [] , [], V+A : a left, a right, and a downwards sword stroke that looks like it should be a finishing move, but in fact only trails black shadows and looks really cool.
  • [] , [] , >+[] : Sword strike, counterstroke, and a stab that crackles with mixed black trails from the blade and green from the arm.
  • A , A , [] , [] , >+A : slash to the left, slash to the right spinning to be side on, two quick punches while the sword is out of position, and then a powerful swing that leaves big black trails through 180 degrees.
  • A , A , [] , [] , [] : starts as above, slash, slash, punch-punch but then features a green-glowing right hook to the kisser.
  • [] , [] , [] : Standard left-right-left starting high and working down to the gut.
  • V+O , O , O : A kick to the shin, then two to the waist as the opponent hops on the other leg in pain.
  • V+O , >+O : A kick to the shin, then a solid streak-leaving boot in the butt.
  • V+O , <+X : A kick to the gut then a somersaulting, green-trailing boot to the head that carries Drogn back a bodylength when the opponent grabs their breadbasket and leans over.
  • X , X , [] : Up kick, down kick, green trailing kidney punch
  • V+X , X , >+[] : Down kick, up kick that knocks the opponent into the air, green-trailing backflip that lands a foot on thier waist as it passes.
  • X , X , ^+A , ^+[] : Up kick, down kick, right wing swat, double sparklie-trailing wing swat
  • V+X , O , O , O : Down kick and crouch for three quick low kicks that knock the opponent off balance, the last one (as usual) trailing green sparklies.
  • V+X , O , V+A : Down kick, jump off opponent's head, spin midair and hit them in the back with a black-trailed sword strike.
  • X , >+[] : up kick and a black-trailing swat with Shadow Zephyr
  • Select then V+X , [] , >+[] before the taunt animation starts: Down kick to knock the opponent off balance, grab their collar and deliver two slaps. No sparklies this time, but likely to leave the opponent mad enough to throw a visible aura of anger. AKA Slappin' Yo Bitch-Ass Down

• vs Self: When one of the two reaches 50% on his lifebar, they'll seperate and jump back out of melee range. "How did you learn to figt like this?" CD asks. "The K.H.O.U.D. burned out after I used it." Drogn2 slaps his forehead and sighs at his counterpart before replying, "CD, the machine itself was fine. The power lamp burned out. I can't beleive you din't notice, espescially since EVERY OTHER indicator light was still fuinctioning!" CD blinks again. "They were?", he asks. "Just shut up and finish the fight, okay?"

• vs Magus Jacob: If Jake does his [Chibi Bomb] move at the same time Drogn uses the Firehose of Youth, they'll both be superdeformed when the FX fade out, and go into this little animation:

  J: Oww! You dumbass, that hurt! (the Firehose is the more damaging of the two moves, after all)

  D: I am not a dumbass you big stupid!

  J: Don't talk to me like I'm some kind of child!

  D: o/~ Jakey is a stupid head, stupid head, stupid head, Jakey is a stupid head, stupid as can be! o/~ (to the tune of "Mary Had A Little Lamb")

  J: Oh yeah? Your momma's so ugly, her nickname is 'DAMN!'

  D: Don't talk about my momma, you...

  (...grooOOWWW)

  D: [blink]

  J: [blinkblink] Let's just forget that happened, okay?

  D: Better idea: Let's just erase the last few minutes from existance.

  J: Great.

  (flash of FX, the timer turns back for the duration of the SD attacks but the damage is kept)

• If you hit ^, >, v, < on the D-pad when Drogn does the yo-yo taunt, he will do an "Over the Rainbow" and a portal will open against the wall visible beyond the fighters, through which opposite-gender versions of them can be seen to mirror their positions. If you don't do anything else, he'll do the reversing move when the Select button is released, and all goes on as normal. On the other hand, if either or both players hits the Select button again before he finishes the reversing move, the portal will flare up and white out the screen - when it fades back to normality, whoever hit Select will have their character replaced for the rest of the play session with the reverse-gender version. Do this in the first fight of arcade mode and win, then save the game to get Droganna as a normally selectable character - this will not unlock Drogn's secrets/goodies, however.

• Special Flash Finisher Vs. Charles: Drogn pulls out what looks like one of Charles' Slipgate Grenades, and lobs it at him. Instead of the mormal slipgate apurture, though, Charles is whisked away by a blaze of golden light. There's a quick shot of Drogn making a "Yes! Yes!" fistpumping gesture, then cut away to Charles speeding through a golden tube like the blue one in _Tron_, then getting spit out of it just high enough over CD's Authorial Abode to see that said Abode appears to be a carbon-14 atom the size of a gas giant. He falls off camera towards it, then cut again to him materialize inside a biolab containment room. "I don't like the looks of this..." he mutters, all to familiar with the sort of things that go on when a lifeform is transported to a PemDas biolab for investigation.

  Just then, Drogn2 (clad in the usual labcoat, and wielding a clipboard and microphone) becomes visible through the armorglass observation window. He clicks the microphone on, and his voice echoes slightly over the speakers in the iso-room. [D2]: "Today, we're going to test your ability to digest spam and cheez sandwiches on pumpernickel toast, spread with marmite." As he says this, there's sort of a "thwonk" noise, and a labtable laden with rather questionanable looking sandwiches lands in the center of the room, narrowly missing Charles.

  [Charles] "Waargh!" Charles looks at the sandwiches. "At least they can't be worse than Everlasting Discomfort..." Charles begins to pick up a sandwich as the speakers interupt him.

  [D2]: "Just kidding! Now get out of here." With another flare of gold Charles rezzes back into the arena, where ClassicDrogn is getting badly thrashed by an angry Misa wielding a folding steel chair and demanding he bring Charles back.

  [Misa] "Rising Chair-- CHARLES-KUN!" She drops the chair and powerglomps as soon as she notices Charles has returned. It lands on Drogn, of course, who whimpers some more.

• Vs. any character who smokes in the ring: Drogn will fall to his knees, coughing and hacking, then suddenly stop, get up, and say, "Oh, I forgot I don't have to breathe. Heheheh..." Action continues as normal.

• Vs Kat: If Kat performs her "It's so tiring to be out in the daytime..." taunt, Drogn will reply "You should try wearing one of those Amulets of Protection from Holy by the Blue Gecko's entrance - you might fnd they do you a world of good."

• Vs Epsilon: If Epsilon does his Dash Attack at the same time Drogn does a Viper Striking, they'll go into a 'pushing war' - onscreen the two of them dash sideways vying for a better striking position, while the players madly mash buttons - whoever hits the most before the enimation ends strikes with his weopon and knocks the other down, in addition to doing the normal attack damage.

  Likewise, if one does their rushing attack on the other while he is stunned (and the player of the stunned character reacts instead of slumping and "knowing" there's nothing he can do about it) the dizzied one will get it togtether enough to toss a barrage of mini-fireballs, forcing the dasher to weave around the ground explosions as they charge. Again, whoever masheth the most buttons shall smite their enemy most furiously as the animation doth end.

• Other glitches will no doubt appear as the story is written.

• * CD becomes a perfect character, and sets out to solve all of YX's problems.
• * CDrogn drops YX into a salt factory.
• YX> eeeep!
• CD> See? Now all your old problems are gone!
• YX> I don't think this did anything for my writing speed.
• CD> Of course, now you have a big problem, but I'm not a perfect character any more
• RZ> The idea of CD as a perfect character somehow does not compute. .
• * CD reveals his secret identity, as... Q!
• RZ> Noooooooo!!!!
• CD> I am Q, but you can call me Bert
• YX> ah.. have you got an Aston Martin for me?
• * CD jumps around on some blue boxes
• YX> ooh..the box tops are changing color!
• * CD makes little "poink poink" noises
• * YX coils up and bounces after CD.
• RZ> er, umm?
• * YX bounces on the coils with an evil grin.
• CD> RZ: Ancient computer game alert. "Q-Bert"
• RZ> Oh. Right.
• * YX miscalculates and jumps of the edge. Aaiieeeeee!
• YX> RZ: what? you don't play arcade games? (grin)
• RZ> er, not generally speaking, no.
• * CD waves his hand, and the Lintaprize D+ suddenly appears in the game grid with him, also bouncing around.
• * If you listen closely, you can hear Mr. Sock and Mr. Shoofly hurling [CD]
• * YX sings. "Ever since I was a young boy, I played the silver ball. From Soho down to Brighton, I must have played them all..."
• RZ> noooooo!
• * YX remembers playing Q-bert.. one of the games he was relatively good at. He could make it to the second screen.
• * CD thinks that would make a great Q episode: The Enterprize is transported into a game of Metroids, and has to defeat the alien armada to escape.
• * YX recalls the embarassing day when Rick got more time for a quarter out of the photocopier than YX got out of the arcade game.
• CD> Of course, Picard would probably negotiate. Wimp.
• YZ> So, shove Q into the original series. Kirk'd blast everything in sight.

If that doesn't do enough, just figure he's the typical good-natured wisecrack-throwing Avatar type, but with the tendency to insert some surreal non-sequitur if he can't think of a good crack (Ex: Pocky is the hat I whomp you!). While people gape at the nonsensical statement, he'll do something silly, like laughing maniacally and proclaiming "Now, while you are distracted, I will steal your Cheez!" or dressing them in a strange costume, painting a mural of something silly on the wall with food products, etc. He's a few bricks shy of an outhouse, but not really crazy - just wierd. A strange partner for Skribulous, but they seem to get along. Drogn's fundamental paradigm is silly humor, so if you just have him act goofy (in a mostly polite way, though not neccesarily respecting personal space or good taste) he's pretty much in character.