Happy Father's Day
Mood:  bright
Topic: Dear Diary
Happy Father's Day to all the fathers and single mothers in the world. :D Here's my father who is now 80 years old and has kept "in shape" in several ways, including his vocal talents and mental sharpness and I consider him a magician if not a wizard of cloaked and mysterious powers. I'm TSOing still and wishing you all wet dreams and safe harbors.

My handwriting reads: Top; My father at about 19 (1945) off to seek his fortune in show biz. Middle; 1952, In front of the broadcasting studio where he worked as voice actor and “weather man.” Bottom: 1953, In the “back lot” about the time he met my mother and became enamored of her. My mother was the best friend of his cousin and an admiring 12 year old fan of the radio shows.

No "ancient slave trade route" you insist?
Mood:  incredulous
Topic: Words of Wisdom
The True Mother begs to differ. Modern technology only offers us more varied modes of transportation; we're driving Peoples to the edge and ends of the Earth, don't you feel it in the flow of things? I feel it in the flow of water and wind and lava and mud, don't you?
http://www.kirotv.com/money/9378982/detail.html?rss=sea&psp=news

Just one more link to the Bones of the Ancestors and the Pacific Northwest; may these women be reunited with whom cherishes them most, Elder's Beloved Chosen.

It's Farfetched...Here's the leads for you.
Mood:  lazy
Topic: Words of Wisdom
New shipping line in Portland, OR.
http://www.publicbroadcasting.net/opb/news.newsmain?action=article&ARTICLE_ID=928919

“West Nile” virus avoids PNW (like a plague? :D )
http://www.oregonlive.com/metro/oregonian/index.ssf?/base/news/1150338334168880.xml&coll=7

The National Antiquities Act is your road to slavery as it preserves underwater land…too.
http://www.earthtimes.org/articles/show/7174.html

Japan orders more planes, Microsoft security updates and more!!
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/businesstechnology/2003059778_bizbriefs14.html?syndication=rss

Just a few links to lead you to your own “coincidences.” If Microsoft and Apple and Boing and all these companies primarily in the Pacific Northwest are destined to assist all these world leaders....President Hu from China in his visions of building on the Moon, President Fox and his deal with Bush to keep the centuries old slave trade routes -- you know the one's the Spanish took over from the Aztecs and brought "Inquisition" to the Americas -- in more efficient management. No one is worried about Canadian boarders, least of all the Canadians which is an error they'll soon regret I suspect, and then there's the President of Denmark who happens to visit Seattle the exact same day our monkey-puppet president Bush takes a surprise trip to Iraq and involves more souls in his bloodthirsty quest for control of all the "cultural and geological resources" remaining on the Earth. Do you want to see the facts all combined or not? How about you combine some now?
I want to hear every word Shoghi Effendi's wife, Ruhija Kanume, has to say...she's not only his widow, she's a Hand of the Cause of God and one of the very last remaining few. I've met her in person a few times and I feel she has a closer connection to God's Divine Plan than I will ever be able to grasp myself from the collective unconscious or her dead husband or where ever I think I happen to get my information. She's a "Promised One" if I ever saw one and I'll trust her judgment on that knowing she's exactly who she is and probably knows who is really called to act in this Dire Hour and preserve the Universal House of Justice and reassert God's Truth in the world instead.
A dangerous wind is blowing and we've long passed the point of no return and Bahai's like my son need to go to Ruhija Kanume and hold her hand and breathe in her grace and wisdom and just listen one more time. Read every word she's written and take note and when you've done that act according to her directives....yes, including the members of the Universal House of Justice. They should have been following the guidance of ALL of the Hands of the Cause of God, not only the male ones...just because she was Shoghi's wife didn't automatically make her a Hand of the Cause of God either. Abdu'l-Baha arranged for them to be married of all the Brilliant Souls he knew and loved in his life; there was a very good reason for that and there is no heirarchy in the Bahai Faith based on gender, remember? I wonder if Ruhija is the one who will recreate the Universal House of Justice to five male members? I think that's still in the future yet, and a dangerous wind still blows. Wet dreams to you, I'm back in TSO again.

I'm done, I'm playing TSO, come join me there if you like.
Mood:  bright
Topic: Words of Wisdom
You know what? I don't know why I'm worried about learning all the secrets that are being kept against God; that's out of my hands and being dealt with accordingly as I sit here playing TSO and feeling more caught up than usual in affairs beyond my realm of comprehension in the first place.
Shoghi Effendi would like me to remind the Universal House of Justice and anyone else who may have forgotten that there are two (2) Manifestations of God for this Dispensation; the Bab (the Gate) and Bahaullah (the Greatest Name) and that the "Promised One" whom you unhesitatingly sacrificed the Bab in your deepest hearts to believe was Bahaullah just so it makes more sense to your minds, has Arrived.
That's it. :D Have a nice Day. :D The moment I received a reply from the Universal House of Justice, 12FEB06, I believe and I'll check the fact again, I knew that at least one member of the Universal House of Justice was advised fully of me and my website and especially all the emails (a little more than a dozen with open CCs to a reasonable few who might feel a spark of enlightenment or an epiphany or a religious experience and bring information I couldn't possibly know to light for that Illustrious Body too), from that moment it appeared in my Inbox and I saw that one brief sentence and felt the empathy and literal Good Will that soul imparted on the form email the computer should have automatically generated within a few days of receiving my first email in November -- I knew someone with the will and authority to repair the damage Evil caused in the Universal House of Justice would act in a Godly way and ignore the chaos in the universe and do what needed to be done; I felt it would be one or more Hands of the Cause of God.
So now I'm going to go play TSO because that's all Shoghi Effendi wanted me to say and I thought I'd go relax in the calm before the firestorms hit reality. I just wanted to be certain to post this information for the time in the near future when someone at the Universal House of Justice is informed that my son has arrived at the National Bahai Center and feels he'd like some questions answered...although, I can't know till someone tells me so I'll go watch the snotty Channel 4 News team who can't seem to keep their comments to themselves over things they can't imagine and omit mentioning their opinions of Bush's secret rendevous in Iraq the very day the President of Denmark visits Seattle and I'll keep abreast of the ugliness in my own good time...I still firmly believe I wouldn't need to turn on the television to find out the Earth was destroyed ....are you recording and calculating this shit like you're supposed to? The Japanese are, the rest of the world is alert, what the hell is wrong with the Universal House of Justice that they can't act accordingly as they were created by Shoghi Effendi and God Himself to do?
I'm done reporting on visiting world leaders and other shit you can find from everywhere else much more accurately and I'm not going to urge you to keep up with my website, you're either interested in what I have to say or you're not and nothing else I can say will make you listen. Wet dreams to you, and batten down the hatches before you go to bed tonight just to be safe; there's a dangerous wind blowing now and it's suicide to venture out alone...you'll want to chain yourselves together to withstand this one, ladies and gentlemen.

My 101st post!
Mood:  a-ok
Topic: Words of Wisdom
My friend’s dead mother came to me for the first time just before the earthquake hit Indonesia and usually I sadistically tell dead people that they’re dead and to find someone else to pass on their woes and regrets to the living, but this woman had already expressed herself (rather clearly, I was told later) before she died. Most dead people want the living to feel mournful and keep all the highly emotionally charged memories fresh in the minds of the living because we’re taught that the more we cry and mourn someone’s passing the more that person knows we loved them. The truth is that all that negative energy is exactly the opposite of what they need to move on to the next stages of their lives and while praying for the dead does a lot to release them from their attachments to this world, there is nothing more powerful than love, and the memory of all that anguishing love works just as well, to keep people’s souls united in whatever relationship they had with you in life. So, I mention this woman because her message to her loved one wasn’t about blame or regret or being remembered more kindly than she was in reality; it was about making sure her child received something “special” that was deliberately left hidden from the vultures in her family. I don’t know what the association is other than the fact that it was her favorite tree; however the ironwood tree is very significant to me now as well. I’ve already passed the information to my friend and the mother is happily off enjoying her afterlife and that tree is on my mind waking and sleeping.

The more I discover about it the more it amazes me. They have beautiful flowers that look almost like large snapdragons and extremely hard wood which is still hard to cut with modern tools, thus, the name Ironwood. And what fascinates me more than their 1500+ year lifespan is the fact that the tree still felt it necessary to protect itself with long, sharp spines on its trunks (it’s built like a 25 foot tall bush) and small thorns on the leaves. I can understand the need for thorns on the leaves; it’s a desert tree and it could kill the tree to have too many animals eating the leaves, but why the spikes on the rest of the tree? The largest animals in the area wouldn’t be heavy enough to break the limbs, so why would that tree need such aggressive defenses?

Shoghi tells me the Ironwood tree is significant to his Beloved and Master, too; and that there is one in Persia of particular importance to them. All I am able to see is people planting Ironwood trees and other trees and I don’t know whether that was something significant that happened in Shoghi Effendi’s life (which I can easily imagine knowing he designed the gardens and Shrine of the Bab) or if it’s something we were supposed to have done after his passing and it’s very important it be completed. Just because I’ve been talking to dead people all my life doesn’t mean I have a clue what they’re talking about; the “message” is rarely for me, virtually always through me like a… like a broken winged bird with someone else’s life hanging by a thong around my neck. I feel increasingly frustrated because I know I’m being led to valuable information and it seems like everyone else gets to put all the pieces together and find what they’ve been searching for and none of it was related to me. I feel like I’m always the last one to figure it out for myself because all I have to do is listen on the phone with my seven year old niece for a whole ten minutes and she’ll accurately (and without breathing, it’s amazing) explain the entire Universe to me without me needing to ask her twice. On the other hand, what’s there for me to know when I want for nothing that isn’t provided to me just because I’m alive and willing to accept all that life has to offer? Knowing that the Y chromosome is rarer to extinction by the second (every child born brings us that much closer) explains some things to me; but only religions and governments and folks who fear same gender relationships because they don’t know how children can be born to same gender couples will feel at all threatened by loosing a little “y” chromosome. Those who follow Abdu’l-Baha’s counsel and loves all peoples and kindreds **without limitation or restriction** will evolve and solve the challenge of procreating without a y chromosome as they most certainly will be inspired by God and the Universe to do. If you think the majority of people born with penises seem willing to poke it into anything they please with or without permission now; just imagine how desperately they will want to poke their penises into exactly the “perfect” child bearer for their precious seed in the meantime before our species is fully evolved and working on the next challenge – keeping our predominantly matriarchal Earth from swinging too far the other way and beginning the cycle of abuse against folks with y chromosomes which set the genders apart in the first place. You should have already been united as a planet under the protection of the Universal House of Justice and your preserved cultures by the time scientists noticed the challenge of procreating without a y chromosome; which is easily solvable now with the technology we already have, by the way. Make folks think with their brains and don’t worry about the size of their penises unless they’re poking you without your permission, then I say take it as a souvenir.
And I wanted you all to know earlier, but I was distracted; the first Siberian tigers this season at China's Siberian and Bengal tiger preservation project's facilities were born May 22 and are shown here a few hours old and perfectly healthy with mom.

Just to show you that the most important "signs" aren't always earthquakes and devestations; virtually all the time it's the details which make all the difference in the world.

Tahirih - The True Mother's Martyr
Topic: Words of Wisdom
http://www.kalimat.com/Tah-History.html Tahirih
The URL is to a biography of Tahirih which will describe her as the "first woman sufferage martyr;" and since Shoghi Effendi led me to her today in my search for my feelings of doom, I feel he's answering two of my questions at once, the first which has nagged me about the identity of the Persian young woman in George Baxter's print #41 "The Carrier Pigeon," and the other question today, what has happened that's somehow related to this historical figure? In my quest, I've discovered with grateful thanks to the New George Baxter Society that Baxter reproduced an original painting Marie Fancoise Catherine Doetter (or Doegter) Corbaux or fondly "Fanny Corbaux" created. Ms. Corbaux was considered a "Biblical critic" and outspoken in her women's rights attitudes and died in 1873 after having traveled the world, especially Egypt and Persia and painting royalty and people important to her at the time. I firmly believe the woman we see in both of these images is Tahirih...and Shoghi Effendi is urging me to post, so I guess the Universal House of Justice has all the information they need from me to figure out what Shoghi means and hippity hop to it, seems to me.

A Prayer for the Universal House of Justice
Mood:  blue
Now Playing: Born Free - Andy Williams
Topic: Dear Diary
O My God! O my God! Verily I invoke Thee and supplicate before Thy threshold asking The that all Thy mercies may decend upon these souls. Specialize them for Thy favor and Thy truth. O Lord! Unite and bind together the hearts, join in accord all the souls and exhilarate the spirits through the signs of Thy sanctity and oneness. O Lord! Make these faces radiant through the light of Thy oneness. Strengthen the loins of Thy servants in the service of Thy kingdom. O Lord, Thou possessor of infinite mercy! O Lord of forgiveness and pardon! Forgive our sins, pardon our shortcomings and cause us to turn to the kingdom of Thy clemency, invoking the kingdom of might and power, humble at Thy shrine and submissive before the glory of Thine evidences. O Lord God! Make us as waves of the sea, as flowers of the garden, united, agreed through the bounties of Thy love. O Lord! Dilate the breasts through the signs of Thy oneness and make all mankind as stars shining from the same height of glory, as perfect fruits growing upon Thy Tree of Life. Verily Thou art the Almighty, the Self-Subsistent, the Giver, the Forgiving, the Pardoner, the Omniscient, the One Creator! -- Abdu'l-Baha


Shoghi Effendi urges me with his grief and steadfastness to his Beloved and his Master to respond by posting his heartwrenching cry to God and wait for the news to reach me. I've not yet searched the internet for what might have happened in the world or specifically with the Universal House of Justice; I'm afraid it's very unhappy. Shoghi Effendi seems a little calmer now compared to about noon my time when, at his great distance from me, I felt his anguish. It seemed as if he exploded in despirate, grief wracked prayer as if he intended to sacrifice his own glory so that his most cherished loved one might survive...God's wrath. Elder comforts him, but something has changed our plans and God and the Universe has already responded; Humanity will suffer these consequences and all the realms of God and all the creatures therein scream and beat their breasts and would sacrifice their immortal souls to have it be any other way for us wretched and sinful beasts. I fear I will soon find out the Universal House of Justice has "misbehaved" more than has already been Written they would. Did Elder warn us it would get ugly, or do you think I'm still imagining things?

Elder's Call to Action (and more solutions)
Mood:  bright
Now Playing: Linkin Park, randomly selected by WMP from cds.
Topic: Words of Wisdom
While I am not Elder’s official “speaker,” it is my honor to hear his melodious voice in my dreams and on the rare occasion smell his Divine Fragrance in the air marking his subtle presence known in my Universe. He restrains me and prevents me from revealing too much too soon in my eagerness to assist my Friends and serve God and the True Mother as I swore fealty to Them to do.

Who are the “Beloved Children of the True Mother” who felt inspired to awaken me to my Call and exactly how “early” might I possibly be if things are in such chaos they need to call upon the Powers of the Universe to save them now? I was “awakened” according to God and the True Mother’s plan and not an instant sooner, however, the “Beloved Children” woke me with the intentions of adoring or at least respecting the One Called rather than destroying her and her entire family on sight; I appreciated that a lot more than what others attempted to do in my "best interests."

I’m not particularly interested in revealing whom I suspect is Elder because Humanity’s Enemy will only use your curiosity and doubt against you. I am, on the other hand, encouraged to post my experiences and visions on my public online journal by this extraordinary entity now (not that I’ve much hesitated before when mere humans gave me reason to express myself ever). And since I’m inspired to my dreams and visions and my mind working on solutions for the challenges in life by actual events, here is a photocopy of news of the most recent “border closing” the Bush Administration actively seeks.



In light of the government taking systematic actions against the Peoples of the Winnebago Nation among other Nations, as well as directly infringing on *my* earned right to purchase anything legally obtained, manufactured and sold in the public market I please with my credit card, I believe the Winnebago and other Nations should quit selling all US brands from all major tobacco corporations and non-Native owned companies and charge whatever taxes they feel appropriate for their Native manufactured brands instead. Perhaps those taxes could be used to develop their communications and transportation systems for alternative trade routes across the distances between their Unified Nation’s actual “national borders” in case the Bush Administration shuts down the Postal Service or limits the transport of cigarettes across state lines or whatever their next phase is they believe will permanently cripple you.

Invest in developing hemp products such as fuels, textiles and medicines, and by the time US citizens feel the “crunch” from the dried up Mexican border and the stuff allegedly from Canada becomes suspect and folks voice their disgruntlement, you will have a market for hemp commodities and a US government willing to legalize the lesser of evils to control the general populace in the long term with the availability of cleaner, far less expensive fuels and more effective medicines than can be “secured” from other nearly dried up sources on the other side of the planet. The general public just doesn’t want hemp legalized enough yet, it’s not an emergency like tooth decay, apparently; how many months till the borders are closed, did Bush say again? Yeah, things seem to be on schedule to me…you seeing ugly yet?

Yes, think about it; Canada and Mexico and even the notoriously strict China all have legal consumable forms of hemp and earn billions of dollars on world markets with their valuable and healthy products which utterly replace everything except metal, yes, ask the scientists… so, why is the US so anal about tapping into any part of this very lucrative and sincerely beneficial industry?
The United States was founded on hemp and survived the early years only because Native Peoples taught the first criminals and Puritans stepping ashore better agriculture and soon millions of slaves cultivated hundreds of acres of hemp plantations…it wasn’t until much later, when cocaine was removed from beverages and consumption in the general public, that the still criminal and Puritan government decided cotton and tobacco were less dangerous than hemp (imagine the national feigning and cranking out that must have happened for folks to be afraid of hemp too) and hundreds of thousands of farmers found themselves at the mercy of the government and gave up hemp for a few more years of cracking the whip.
I think Native Peoples need to hit us where we live, our pipes…that’s where the government is burning our tax dollars anyway…I think the majority of us would rather have clean, Native grown and manufactured tobacco and hemp products than any we’re forced pay twice as much just to cover the taxes and persecution that we do for our little vices already, like sitting in traffic with your bloody petroleum products burning into the air for two hours twice a day from your personal vehicle with gas at four plus dollars a gallon and your 13 year old illegal immigrant "hired help" is raising your children in your behalf because your kid's public school was hacked from the budget this year.

Who is the most respected and influential Elder or Counsel of Elders of all the Peoples? Why not encourage your highest leaders to invite President Hu for dinner and let your Ancestors mingle for a little while? Neither of your cultures are much interested in doing things the way the US administrations are proven to do them and the spiritual realm is limited by the choices of those acting in the physical realm. You cannot feel inspired by any Ancestors or Great Spirits or anyone if no one unites and brainstorms and gives others an opportunity to share what they know with you. Think of how the “Beloved Children of the True Mother” might educate the people and give your children living right now the gift of flight.

Hemp is a grass, very much like maize and peoples all over the Earth worship it for its life giving and positive energies, and like maize there are ways of refining the plants to make a wide variety of useful products and I think distilling the life out of hemp till it’s fermented and curls your nose hairs to smell a whiff of might be harmful to humans as a beverage a lot like alcohol from maize is proven to be, don’t you think too?

If you believe your people are like children then take the dangerous “toys” away from them and show them what they are permitted to do instead…it really is that simple. What is it? You think your children will kill off too many of their brain cells to hear inspiration when they’re Called to Act from smoking clean tobacco and hemp? Okay, that’s fair, then why are there still alcohol commercials on your television stations knowing drunk driving and alcoholism are the number one killers among Native women and children? No, crimes are not likely committed by someone consuming only hemp at the time. Violent crimes like rape and murder and armed robbery are statistically directly linked to alcohol and processed substances. Even mushrooms and peyote are higher on the list of “drugs” which have been known to induce spontaneous behavior in humans which might be construed as violent or dangerous than hemp in those identical government and university studies. People seem to handle God’s and the Universe’s Gifts much better if they refrain from “refining” the Hell out of it before they stick it in their bodies…some things need a little life left in them to function as God and the Universe intended, and its your own faults for wanting something more “thrilling” than you were blessed to receive from Them in the first place, so They don’t have much sympathy for the anguish of breaking habits you brazenly addicted yourself to in spite of all the Holy Words and Voices and Fragrances that wafted through your lives and touched your souls and enlightened you before anyone else could read the drawings carved in stone for them to obey.

Elder calls all the Peoples of the Earth to unite and wage peace; the Beloved Children of the True Mother, they know who they are, are called to Act and protect the Faith of the One True God and clean the corruption and filth and greed and ignorance from All the governments and “Houses” of the Earth…Each and Every One of Them. Now is your Day and the Enemies of God are still destroying the True Mother as they beg you for forgiveness and make excuses for their addiction to hating and persecuting you and sucking the life out of you like leaches.

Elder calls everyone to educate ourselves and pursue the Truth, and without stopping there, to continue to Act Accordingly…do you want to solve your hardships or not? Elder thinks not, if you’re willing to wallow in your anguish and misery knowing he’s already given you every tool and talent and blessed you with your very own visions too so that you are certain to succeed. Why does Elder feel a lesbian white woman conveys his message to Native Peoples better than his own Speaker, you ask? Well, that’s the thing, I’m really not speaking to any of Elder’s Peoples; I’m not genetically related to him or his Peoples, therefore it is only by his Grace that I am privy to any information from him whatsoever. However, I’m devoted to my Pagan ways and if the birds hadn’t told me the People’s Prophesies are All Fulfilled now, the rocks surely would have, and that makes me of some good use to Elder and the Beloved Children of the True Mother.
There might be one person with Native blood reading my blog, perhaps two if I’m blessed by all the Powers of the Universe, so I’m pretty sure they’re getting the majority of their information if not from Elder directly then certainly from other sources than me. Yes, you guessed it, I’m putting my thoughts out into the collective unconscious and planting Elder’s seeds in the minds of those who would rather see you panhandling for a drink or one more lottery ticket than give you a forestry job fighting fires for $10 an hour because they can risk non-English speaking illegal immigrants for even less than that first. Yes, here’s the article: http://www.upi.com/NewsTrack/view.php?StoryID=20060528-061342-5500r .

No one will be capable of stopping what they’re doing until they agree with you and obey God and do something else instead…and they really like the violence and the smell of fear in the air and the sight of blood seems to turn them into a frenzy, so Elder would like me to reemphasize that “waging peace” means acting according to God’s standards, not Humanity’s; and limiting your love and grace and withholding your God-given authority to act in your own best interests only serves Evil and damages your soul and you prevent yourself from attaining the rewards you’ve earned with your blood and tears and sweat building pyramids and trading with world markets while “civilized” people were just crawling out of their caves and harnessing the power of fire so they could burn my Kind alive.

I think all the Beloved Children of the True Mother know exactly what to do and I’m just reporting to anyone interested that I still see myself as a Vessel and hope you will consider Elder’s directives and suggestions in spite of my having no actual connection to your Ancestors or anything more than my dreams and Native American Tarot cards to support my words.

There are also more kinds of “Beloved Children” than only Humans, just so it’s not a big surprise when scientists identify the “non-Human” genetic markers which sets them apart from the rest of God and the True Mother’s Beloved Children. And put your weapons down; you’re already at their mercies, who do you think are the archangels and saints to whom you pray? Doing a good job submitting their wills to yours, are they, you think? Yeah, wet dreams to you, those of us living among them in this Hell know better and resent you for breaking your own Words.

And I'm persecuted for having visions?
Mood:  bright
Topic: Words of Wisdom
Local News: Monday, May 29, 2000
`Spirit' runners exemplify message
Paysha Stockton
Seattle Times staff reporter

Alfred Khan Jr.'s uncle saw it in a vision: The Navajo boy was running with a group when he saw an eagle on a rock. He stopped to pray as the others passed, then caught up and finished the run. There was never any question he would do Spirit Run, a three-month, 3,000-mile journey across the northern United States, says 15-year-old Khan.
"A lot of people around me had visions I was going. I felt like it was my spiritual duty."
Today, he and eight other young runners were to rise at dawn at Daybreak Star Art and Cultural Center in Seattle's Magnolia neighborhood and slip on their running shoes. Together, they will run from Seattle to New York. One milelong leg at a time. Their goal: to run the message of racial unity from the Pacific coast to the Atlantic - through mountains, prairies and reservations, cities, badlands and campsites.
Carrying a sacred bundle - a hand-made leather satchel with words of faith, called "talking leaves," and a medicinal packet of buffalo eyeteeth and hide, rose petals, cedar, sage, tobacco and sweet grass - the nine runners will together cover 54 miles a day, says run founder Arthur Fernandez-Scarberry.
Each will run six miles a day with the bundle. Three vans of supporters - accompanied by advising elder William Ekomiak, an Inuit from Quebec - will precede and follow them.
They'll rest a few days between camping and dinners on Native American reservations. Fernandez-Scarberry and John Foguht of the Navajo Tribe will spell them if they get tired. And they'll end the run in mid-August with a United Nations visit and party on the Shinnecock reservation in New York. In this Spirit Run - sponsored by the Baha'i Faith - the messengers are also the message. There's only one race, and it's human, say the diverse runners, some of whom claim several cultures.
Fernandez-Scarberry, of Seattle, has Choctaw heritage. His brother Billy Harris, 19, is Guamanian and Choctaw.
Khan lives on the Navajo reservation in Arizona but is also Cherokee and Hungarian. Charles Nelson, 17, of North Seattle is Japanese, African American and white. Micah Reed, 23, of Raymond, Calif., is African American and white. Sahar Sattarzadeh, 20, of Irvine, Calif., and her brother Samaan, 18, of Las Vegas, are Iranian Americans. Chris Shattuck, 20, of Eugene calls himself Anglo. Both parents of 24-year-old Nancy Torres of Portland were born in Mexico. Mike Pennington, 15, of Portland, is white.
They are tanned and freckled, pink and caramel, with red, brown, black and even dyed hair. But the deferential and deadly earnest group in baggy pants, sneakers and matching Spirit Run T-shirts have a common thread: faith.
They are all Baha'i, members of a worldwide religion founded in the 1800s by Persian nobleman Baha'u'llah. Racial unity is a central teaching of the religion, Fernandez-Scarberry says.
The run founder says the idea came to him about five years ago while he was walking with his mentor.
"It was like a flood of loud thoughts," he says. "Basically, it haunted me." Several years later, he mentioned it at a meeting in Neah Bay, Clallam County. "Once it was shared, there was no turning back."
Support and funding poured in from Baha'i communities nationwide, says organizer Nancy Griffith.
Yesterday, the group gathered at the Daybreak Star center to receive blessings from local Native American elders, drummers and singers. The runners, who met for the first time this weekend, were a little anxious at first, but that quickly faded. "There's a lot of family-ness with the group already," Harris says.
Most are students, but one is a teacher, and several sacrificed jobs, graduation ceremonies and other opportunities to run.
Sahar Sattarzadeh, finishing her sophomore year in college, must e-mail four essays to professors from the road. The group will share three laptop computers, she says.
Are they physically ready? Some trained for months. Others weeks. Some are accomplished athletes. Others, like Khan, had to work hard. "I've gone from couch potato to pretty decent," he admits. Of course, they're nervous.
"Sometimes I'm afraid because I don't know how to pace myself because I won't know where the end is," says Sahar Sattarzadeh, a soccer player and sprinter.
They have squirmy stomachs but high hopes, too - for their own spiritual growth. And for the relationships they'll build with each other and on the reservations they will visit. And for everyone else, too.
"I'm hoping that we fill a lot of our country's empty hearts," Harris says. "We are taking action instead of talking. People say we need to be more united, but they only hang out with their own race."
Copyright (c) 2000 Seattle Times Company, All Rights Reserved.

The one whom I've only ever known as "Elder," whom I'm clearly able to see, yet cannot seem to draw accurately at all, tells me it's time for Liberty to sweep Justice off her feet and bring new meaning to the phrase "Let Freedom Reign." Elder calls all the Nations and Peoples and Tribes to unite and begin, now is the Day and the Prophesies are Fulfilled and the time to Act is upon you. He wants me to tell my friend who protects his Corn Maiden that he's caught his "big fish" and he prefers lemon grass to actual lemons and to have folks bring their own plates, if she would be so kind please. God's "number" is 0 (zero), Elder's "number" is 1 (one), the Corn Maiden's "number" is 2 (two), and if I hadn't been electro shocked I might have been able to tell you who the other two are, and maybe what it means too... but I guess folks wanted you to only learn half the Truth and aren't you tired of that evil bullshit by now?

However, I'm not his "speaker" and I have zero idea what he means except ... here we go folks! Yesterday's earthquake in Indonesia and the earthquake in Greece the day before that and the undersea volcanic eruption a day or so before, that Japanese scientists recording the event claim the footage is the clearest anyone has ever managed to capture on film so far...all these things are the "signs" and yes, things are getting ugly...but it gets uglier, I'm promised. You just about awake yet?

And yes, the Spirit Run story is important because my son was one of the runners, and he's still the Martyr's Champion, Elder promises me.

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Who is the "vampire" in your midst; cuz...
Topic: Words of Wisdom

I've not been "turned" from the path of God or the True Mother and I'm still invisible way over here in the first place, and you all at the Universal House of Justice are in extremely serious risk of breaking your Covenant with God irreparably. Yes, I'm Urged to inform you. Where are the documents naming Shoghi's successor and what steps the few remaining Hands of Cause of God can do to repair the Universal House of Justice at this Most Urgent Hour? What? Do you think I'm supposed to just look at an old photograph of you on your web site and tell you which is "evil" and sabotaging your every **half-assed** effort? No, because I'm not a Manifestation of God or *your* Bitch Mother of the Universe and I don't trust a one of you as far as I can throw you. And I don't have to be sensitive to the vibrations in the Universe to see clearly that the Universal House of Justice and their Supreme Tribunal (does it exist yet?) have not solved even a fraction of the world's injustices as they were commanded by *their* Beloved and Master and the Guardian, too. I do not intend to show fealty to *any* government or organization which continues every moment of the night and day to murder and rape and enslave entire skin tones of folks or even *ONE* more Soul as I am commanded by the Universe and the Earth herself to prevent.

Tell you what, how about you contact Ghost Hunters and have them detect Shoghi Effendi and ask *him* where he hid his crucial documents; since you don't want to use your eyes and brains for yourselves and take a hint from me. Let's, yet again, go to the only Source of information you need to worry about obeying, shall we?

In Abdu'l-baha's final Tablet to America, after establishing Shoghi Effendi as His successor and charging him as "guardian of the Cause of God" to have *equal* authority (if not slightly more so) with the entire Universal House of Justice; Shoghi is commanded to choose a successor and appoint the Hands of the Cause of God who would devote their lives to protecting and promulgating the Faith. Abdu'l-baha - the Master - COMMANDED [Baha'i World Faith, sixth printing of 1956 Edition, 1976, page 444]:

"O friends! The Hands of the Cause of God must be nominated and appointed by the guardian of the Cause of God. All must be under his shadow and obey his command. Should any, within or without the company of the Hands of the Cause of God disobey, and seek division, the wrath of God and His vengeance will be upon him, for he will have caused a breach in the true Faith of God.

The obligations of the Hands of the Cause of God are to diffuse the Divine Fragrances, to edify the souls of men, to promote learning, to improve the character of all men and to be, at all times and under all conditions, sanctified and detached from earthly things. They must manifest the fear of God by their conduct, their manners, their deeds and their words.

This body of the Hands of the Cause of God is under the direction of the guardian of the Cause of God. He must continually urge them to strive and endeavor to the utmost of their ability to diffuse the sweet savors of God, and to guide all the peoples of the world, for it is the light of Divine Guidance that causeth all the universe to be illumined. To disregard, though it be for a moment, this absolute command which is binding upon everyone, is in no wise permitted, that the existent world may become even as the Abha Paradise, that the surface of the earth may become heavenly, that the contention and conflict amidst peoples, kindreds, nations and governments may disappear, that all the dwellers on earth may become one people and one race, that the world may become even as one home. Should differences arise they shall be amicably and conclusively settled by the Supreme Tribunal, that shall include members from all the governments and peoples of the world.

O ye beloved of the Lord! In this sacred Dispensation, conflict and contention are in no wise permitted. Every aggressor deprives himself of God's grace. It is incumbent upon everyone to show the utmost love, rectitude of conduct, straightforwardness and sincere kindliness unto all the peoples and kindreds of the world, be they friends or strangers. So intense must be the spirit of love and loving-kindness, that the stranger may find himself a friend, the enemy a true brother, no difference whatsoever existing between them. For universality is of God and all limitations earthy. Thus man must strive that his reality may manifest virtues and perfections, the light whereof may shine upon everyone. The light of the sun shineth upon all the world and the merciful showers of Divine Providence fall upon all peoples. The vivifying breeze reviveth every living creature and all beings endued with life obtain their share and portion at His heavenly board. In like manner, the affections and loving-kindness of the servants of the One True God must be bountifully and universally extended to all mankind. Regarding this, restrictions and limitations are in no wise permitted.

Wherefore, O my loving friends! Consort with all the peoples, kindreds and religions of the world with the utmost truthfulness, uprightness, faithfulness, kindliness, good-will and friendliness; that all the world of being may be filled with the holy ecstasy of the grace of Baha, that ignorance, enmity, hate and rancor may vanish from the world and the darkness of estrangement amidst the peoples and kindreds of the world may give way to the Light of Unity. Should other peoples and nations be unfaithful to you show your fidelity unto them, should they be unjust toward you show justice towards them, should they keep aloof from you attract them to yourself, should they show their enmity be friendly towards them, should they poison your lives sweeten their souls, should they inflict a wound upon you be a salve to their sores. Such are the attributes of the sincere! Such are the attributes of the truthful.

And now, concerning the House of Justice which God hath ordained as the source of all good and freed from all error, it must be elected by universal suffrage, that is, by the believers. Its members must be manifestations of the fear of God and daysprings of knowledge and understanding, must be steadfast in God's faith and the well-wishers of all mankind. By this House is meant the Universal House of Justice, that is, in all countries, a secondary House of Justice must be instituted, and these secondary Houses of Justice {now called National Spiritual Assemblies} must elect the members of the Universal one. Unto this body all things must be referred. It enacteth all ordinances and regulations that are not to be found in the explicit Holy Text. By this body all the difficult problems are to be resolved and the guardian of the Cause of God is its sacred head and the distinguished member for the life of that body. Should he not attend in person its deliberations, he must appoint one to represent him. Should any of the members commit a sin, injurious to the common weal, the guardian of the Cause of God at his own discretion the right to expel him, whereupon the people must elect another one in his stead. This House of Justice enacteth the laws and the government enforceth them. The legislative body must reinforce the executive, the executive must aid and assist the legislative body so that through the close union and harmony of these two forces, the foundation of fairness and justice may become firm and strong, that all the regions of the world may become even as Paradise itself.

O ye beloved of the Lord! It is incumbent upon you to be submissive to all monarchs that are just and show your fidelity to every righteous king. Serve ye the sovereigns of the world with utmost truthfulness and loyalty. Show obedience unto them and be their well-wishers. Without their leave and permission do not meddle with political affairs, for disloyalty to the just sovereign is disloyalty to God himself.

This is my counsel and the commandment of God unto you. Well is it with them that act accordingly."

Anyone getting the hint yet? How about I point out a couple things that strike me about Abdu'l-baha's counsel? One thing I noticed was that he used the words "peoples" and "kindreds" a lot together, in fact, there's only one place in this quote where "peoples" is specified alone. (~drop kicks a big hint to the UHoJ) That suggests to me that there are more "species" of humans than we are commonly led to believe and if this is the case, I'm a "kindred." Am I evil, really? But, you're not looking at me, you're looking at the thinnest surface of me and as outstanding as I know I am and have been my entire life, I am invisible behind the glass walls you've built between us. You're looking at yourselves and I am the Bitch Mother of the Universe Mirror; each and every man, woman and child whatever their genetic origin and unique combination, is your Mirror, too bad you don't know our names as well as God still, past, present and future, knows yours. And yeah, it's a long quote, but Shoghi compromised and I didn't have to type out the whole thing for people who probably have it memorized and underlined and everything already.

Wet dreams to those who might find a moment's of rest or peace in their own Souls from this moment onward. You have forfeited your earthly rewards when you swore fealty to God; keep your fucking promises and ***ACT ACCORDINGLY*** and you might get to keep your "happy" memories as well as each and every one of your "unhappy" ones for the rest of Eternity after the life is extinguished from your bodies, too. That was supposed to have been "reward" enough, remember?

Oh, and Shoghi is still dead...how many Hands of the Cause of God are still living and alert-minded? I think they're still in authority to protect and defend the Cause of God by any Godly means... you might want to find your "vampire" before someone decides the entire Universal House of Justice needs to hold special elections.

And more importantly to me, happy 23rd birthday to my son in a few days and happy sixth anniversary today for his participation in Spirit Run (www.spiritrun.org if the site is still up) which literally ran the entire width of the continental US, collecting sacred writings and objects from the Nations in between, from Seattle to the United Nations beginning May 28, 2000. My son will be visiting the National Spiritual Assembly within weeks, the word is out and there's only the final paperwork and crap standing between him and his destiny. And many happy returns of the day to you too. :D

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I told you so...
Mood:  bright
Topic: Dear Diary
I’m one of the few folks I know who actually listened to the president’s special address to the nation last Monday, I think it was. Then I searched for two days on the internet for a transcript till a friend of mine found it in Boston for me:
http://www.boston.com/news/nation/washington/articles/2006/05/16/bush_speech_transcript/ .

I know I’d listened carefully when I saw the president’s address on the television at my friend’s house; but I’d sat in shock for part of the time and I wanted to be sure I understood the points clearly.
Now that I’ve had a chance to read through it a few times, all I can think is how excited I am that things are turning ugly just at the time I told you all they would. I bounced in my chair like a little kid talking to my friends and discovered (so far) none of them even watched the speech the first time, several told me they changed the channel as soon as they saw the president’s face. I feel a little deflated now, but I won’t let that prevent me from saying, “I told you so.”
I did too tell you so; I began talking “crazy” last November and haven’t stopped yet. And there are a few folks in this world who know nearly as much as I do about my visions and feelings; I told them more so I can point to them and demand they make me visible in their lives again; but I won’t. I just feel so…right, I can hardly stand myself, but, of course, I’ll survive my arrogance, I’m sure. If those few thought I was terribly wrong they would have ignored me altogether rather than seeing the signs and taking actions on their own plans “B” and generally listening to their gut instincts as I recommended. However, there are simply times when the world seems like a place where it is better I’m in ignorance and invisibility from some of my closest friends; for their protection, I’m told. So, I won’t demand or even hope for a thing from my friends; I feel I’m beyond virtually everyone’s reach. It’s exciting really, even the negative aspects of life are fitting into place along with everything else visible and invisible in the physical realm too; I’m more clear than ever of my place in this Universe, if not actually how well I will wind up playing my role in the closing act.
What I can tell you now, smack in the middle of our final dress rehearsal before the big opening night, is that we have already died in the reviews and our performance couldn’t suck harder if we kahooted together and sand-sacked the fat lady ourselves. Except, how many “final dress rehearsals” do we mere humans actually get in life? As a species and as individual humans, we get only one; and I believe Christ might feel that his “performance” seemed a lot like the real thing to him; not that I’m suddenly Christian or anything, just putting myself in his perspective for a brief moment. If that’s true and life has been rolling right along at least the past two thousand years minimum, then I can see how the Bab and Badi and any martyred since Christ might feel frustrated with humanity’s conditioning to kill everything that thinks we could grow in a positive direction if we only put a little effort into acting kindly to everyone, not only the rare few who love us for our truest persons. I can tell you from experience, your actions make a difference whether you’re invisible or living on the fringes or altogether dead and responding to stimulus in the environment. Your actions build up over time and practice until even you don’t know what’s real or what sheer playacting is; in either your own mind or the world around you without sincere focus and determination.
One friend I talked to about the president’s special address told me he doesn’t pay attention because Bush will be out of office eventually and the new guy gets to deal with the mess. He kept asking me to just tell him what the “evil plan” was and what to do about it and he’ll go do that and I can stop nagging him to wake up and pay attention to all these ugly details he would rather pretend exists for those who deserve it and none others. And I’d love to save him and the rest of the world from Evil, but I can see why Evil might feel he has been given dominion of the Earth Herself by God -- it has already been Written (in the blood of the Martyrs) for a few centuries now; who slipped in like a thief in the night and ruined your life? So, you’re going to respond like you see in the new Fabio commercial and let the Evil One suck the life out of your women and seduce her too and just stand there in shock he’d be so brazen in your kitchen? Put your goodies down, take your woman by the hair, run to the neighbor’s and call the police; there’s a fucking vampire in your home; have the bastard arrested! It doesn’t matter that he got your wife to invite him in; he’s Evil and you’re protected by God until you are big enough to handle him yourself for a reason. If you forget God’s first rule and invite Evil in you can’t expect him to act like a civilized guest; Evil is still Evil and will prey upon you by invitation just as easily as without it.
Go to the link and read the “evil plan” from Bush’s lips yourself, you might have no choice but be led around by the nose right now, but you’re expected to know how to fend for yourself in the big bad world when you’re liberated; you might want to start preparing “for real” now. You’re late because you let Evil waste your time with nonsense, and your kids are coming home from school even as you stand there thinking you feel shocked and Evil is all in your imagination like the monsters under your children’s beds.
And what can you do about the “evil plan,” you might (again) ask? Don’t worry about it, if you can’t stick with God’s commands which have been written in stone for you to remember, then what makes you think you will do anything whether living or dead except serve Evil perfectly? If your actions speak louder than words and you’re not bothering to pay attention to your only direct source of information then what are you attempting to tell me?
I just laugh because I see myself like in a cartoon, “Never fear, Underdog is here!” Grow up people, God has answered your pleas and your prayers and tells you the absolute whole truth whether you ask for it or not. Evil was controlled by the Laws of God to also tell the Truth so that humanity could possess the power of Free Will and Consent to do either God’s or Evil’s will as the individual chose. However, humans don’t listen well and they believed Evil could lie like they did (but only to protect others, for their own goods) and taught Evil no one wanted to hear the whole truth and that gave Evil the power to simply sit back and let folks bash their brains in attempting to piece the Truth together from race memory and ash. Meanwhile, Evil’s prime minions like many in the Bush Administration are plowing forward full steam ahead and millions of people believe that monkey-puppet president is the second coming of God on Earth.
Well, I know it’s a tough pickle, but that’s why we have scientists and political critics and folks who have been doing the best they can with their government resources too, they claim. Follow God’s commandments and abide in His Laws…that’s all you need to do to protect yourself from Evil. If you want to actually defeat Evil and live in any kind of peace you will need to get up and work your ass off and risk your life and loved ones too. This is the real thing and you don’t have to be on stage, in fact, there’s not enough room up here for anyone who didn’t study and audition for even the smallest role in the first place, just go home to bed and snore if you’re only going to sleep through the exciting parts anyway.
I have better things to do with my time, like warning my friends (with smoke signals if I must) that the new immigration policies will legalize the centuries old and established slave trade routes into the arms of eager (predominantly white, Christian) “American” men… so, whose borders and young, brown women are going to be “encouraged” to live in their nation of birth and “work” on our city streets? Wake up, peoples; you’re already enslaved. Wet dreams to you, you should probably save your strength if you’ve nothing else to do at the moment. You can’t say I didn’t warn you and this is just the beginning of ugly…the things I saw in the glimpses I have pieced back together from my non-consensual electroshock therapy…ugly through and through.

By the way...
Mood:  bright
Topic: Dear Diary


By the way, I died my hair black and fixed my goddess collar. Look for some more photos taken 11MAY06 in the Contrary Domain photo album...not too bad for a $10 webcam, I think.

The Power of Correct Action
Mood:  on fire
Topic: Words of Wisdom
Yes, I’ve cooled my relationships with all the people in my life who seem to only speak to me when they think they need some words from me to face some “lifestyle” challenge without acting themselves.
I read an agreeable essay on the power of words the day before yesterday by the author of one of the Care2.com discussion groups because he sent me a “Green Star.” My first impression is that he’s innocently evil; which I mean to suggest that he serves Evil’s purposes extremely well without knowing it or likely intending it. It’s an excellent essay except none can argue with it; it doesn’t promote creative thinking or discussion or problem solving because it satisfies the reader with the truth with which one can only agree. Yet, it serves Evil’s purposes perfectly because it doesn’t actually give the key to unlocking the power of one’s words; the essay assumes that by having faith and speaking clearly the reader will know everything each needs to know to unleash the sincerely tremendous power of one’s words. That is one of the evils of vanity; the author wants agreement and “witness” rather than the opportunity to communicate and brainstorm and invent the tools we need to keep our words after we speak them the first time.
Yes, words are extremely powerful, especially when a mind is unconscious or semi-conscious and it certainly does take a great deal of “faith” or “intention” to use one’s words wisely; yet even the miracle of a single encouraging word cannot exist in the Universe without the correct actions and responses and actual interaction between those speaking.
There’s no mention of tone of voice or gesture which are the minimum actions required to impart the speaker’s meanings to those specific words. I can see how those things might seem like general knowledge, however, it’s a disservice to place so much emphasis on a partial truth so that it seems like that part is enough for everyone reading and anything left unmentioned is permissible to ignore.
My suggestion is to quit thinking other people listen to you because your words are important to them; your words are only as important as your actions behind them make them and then it takes consistent actions over a long period of time to prove your words and show others you meant them the first time you spoke.
Folks haven’t treated me well since I’ve told them they’ve got to get out of their chairs and do something besides bitch about what I or someone else needs to do to make their miserable lives feel happier for them. Oh, but if I really loved them I would pamper them and protect them from making the same errors I made so they won’t need to do as much to have all their dreams fulfilled. Just as soon as I tell them the big secret and let them go find their “real” soul mate(s), and hurry up would I; they haven’t got all day. People don’t listen to a word I say unless they already knew the brutal truth and thought they might like to do something similar about it as I might in their shoes with their talents and resources. The reality is that we can say all the right words and believe we mean what we say utterly; but if we don’t practice our beliefs every waking moment how will our loved ones know how to respond when something outside of anyone’s control happens? As a writer, my words are only important to me and maybe one of the six people who read my blog, and the only real way my words have any power or influence with others is because I’ve worked my ass off for years both seeking and earning their trust on a deeper level than just because one of us said so and the other is supposed to “respect” that. I’m willing to suffer the consequences that expressing my words provokes in others and I don’t have the patience or motivation to pat others on the back for remembering the “universal” truths we’ve learned from television characters and someone else’s ideals of behavior.
It’s one comforting thing to focus on the positives and hope for the best; but unless you use all your strengths and talents every moment of the night and day to practice your beliefs and uphold your promises with **absolutely everyone** against all Evil and in spite of those who would rather lie down and die than follow your example, then regardless whether you are “good” or “evil” in the eyes of the rest of your society, you betray your own human spirit and prevent yourself from evolving by your own vanity to hear your own precious words echoing in the vast Universe where you left them and life moved on without you.
I’m a writer and there’s nothing more pleasing to me than the things I write for myself; however, as deep as my self-interest springs, I know that there are a million and a half people in my city who couldn’t care less about me if I slapped them in the face with a wet fish. I’m too old and damaged by past life threatening experiences to have much interest in what folks are “supposed” to do with their lives too; especially when the whole reason we lead “alternative” lifestyles from one another is because we cannot survive in this vast Universe any other way.
The murdering actions my elected government takes against women and children (regardless of their citizenship) is terrible, but there are zero “governments” that are without corruption so, while still inexcusable, it’s no more terrible than any other kind of predator that threatens a variety within its own species; my government is only one shark already born in its mother’s belly fighting for its survival. If our words are so powerful why aren’t our actions working? Because it takes more than self-esteem and just saying "No" to influence “evil” predators into living their lives differently. You are satisfied with the partial truth that we will all live happily just as soon as the rest of the world gets with the program and lives like you’re all told to live by government controlled “news” media and devised, fiction television programming.
Why does it take two or more “incomes” to support the average American family and who is expected to keep the parent’s “family values” for them while they’re away working double shifts and hustling clients and striking deals and things in the “real” world; the television and hired help? And then our government sends those motherless children to distant shores all fresh faced and eager to kill more women and children, oh and any man standing in their way too, because a bad man on the other side of the globe said some words and broke some promises and pissed old Daddy Bush off.
I know when my sister lies to me and there are times she can get away with it because I sincerely don’t need to know some things and it’s not worth mentioning for the misunderstanding it might cause. But it’s unkind of her to lie to me at all when she and I have years ago worked out “good” ways of not communicating the things we choose not to share of ourselves for whatever reasons. So, she’s one of the people I keep more at arm’s length recently because as much as I might love someone I can still only trust her words as far as I do her actions with me. My sister and I know each other well, and this is not nearly the “end” of our relationship from my perspective, however, it’s certainly true I’m taking a risk with my actions because it shows I’m taking the steps to ease out of her life altogether as I said would happen if she continued lying to me when she has every right to keep secrets with her husband or girlfriends or anyone else in her life if she pleased. Yes, it’s the principle of the matter, just don’t tell me the information at all and gently change the topic; what’s so difficult about respecting me as a person? If I tell my children I don’t tolerate lying well, but do nothing when someone I love lies to me (because I love them and want them to feel happy all the time); then all my words become lies to my children too. In that case, the only thing anyone learns from me is how I well I actually do tolerate lying and I’m not as interested in protecting myself (or anyone else) from the evils of dishonesty or any other evils in the world as I might believe.
And I distance myself from others for many reasons; but mainly because I’m already an invisible and forgotten crazy woman to them; until their shit hits the fan, then all of a sudden I’m the Bitch Mother of the Universe again and my wisdom is supreme and TSO was never so much fun… for about a week, till they hook up with old “Sims” and the drama cycle begins again. Yeah, y’all have fun with that; I’m happy with fucking myself in Sims1 if all I do in TSO is count poofers and waste simoleons screwing with my lots all alone anyway…DJs doing a half assed job when they show up at all after too many headaches to schedule the “party” for international Sim-friends … Yes, I want to play with my friends very much differently than that and no one needs to agree; just don’t expect me to give you more trust than you’ve earned or go out of my way to be available to your needs while I remain your “Genie in a bottle” kind of friend.
I believe the “power of words” is an evil illusion intended to keep the slaves of our society in their humble places, invisible and without thought of escape because they believe they are doing all that they can do to improve their lives. And what actions are recommended, you might ask? We’re told our most effective actions are to petition elected officials (who somehow never receive their messages) and vote for ones we most agree during the vicious frenzy that is Election Year just about the time we think we can recover from the last one and which means utterly zero since the Electoral College elects the President, not the popular vote…ever. So, really, those actions are already seducing us into anything except the Truth, which seems pretty Evil to me, wouldn’t you say? And the Evil grows from there because the next step, when enough of our government’s slaves feel dissatisfied and frustrated to the verge of violence, what are we prompted to do then? Yes, we’re told to “peacefully demonstrate” in the city streets…but only if someone has a permit and there’s a lot of armed riot control police handy…otherwise, if someone feels frustrated to the verge of violence but chooses to express oneself in words to the ones in real power instead, the government can step into any neighborhood they choose and persecute the shit out of her and her family and terrorize everyone else while they’re at it too.
We were taught “ritual” and “sacrifice” and “consent” for very good purposes and we can argue the meanings of those words till the day we die and we’d have served Evil perfectly. There are many things in life that require specific actions along with the plans and the will to succeed and “ritual” has taught us that. There are many times in life where the consequences of ones actions feel uncomfortable but to “sacrifice” a little more of oneself, whether one is ignored or appreciated in the meantime, to provide the whole truth or an opportunity to someone else is what actually empowers ones words. Yet, even with your most Holy Words and sincerest devotions and an entire lifetime of sacrifice in the name of your God(s), Evil feeds on your fear and frustration and urges you to look forward to something “greater” when your body finally sets you free from the temptations of the world where you can find peace and rest at last; and then you lock your “old enough” child in the house with the television for two hours before getting off to school across town with the neighbor kids and come home to a disaster area and you’re lucky anyone remembers to pray through all the rest of the things we’re all expected to do as “good” adults in this society. Which brings us to what we’re missing along with being led to taking ineffective actions; consent.
The powerful words like “prayer” and “promise” which are more action (if correctly accomplished) than simply motivated things to say, cannot possibly have any influence in the physical universe without at least one other being consciously consenting and acting toward those goals oppositely to you. You will only find Truth or defeat Evil or whatever your ultimate goal by using your every talent and skill and power of persuasion to fully solve a situation from absolutely every perspective. If even a little part is ignored without mention then there’s enough evil in your life to thwart your best laid plans and your highest hopes no matter how long you live and “earn” your Afterlife rewards. For example, my willingness to “sacrifice” friendships and relationships in my life which prove more harmful than neutral (if not actually allied) to my most basic human needs in life means that I might feel unhappy for myself right now but my life is improved in the long run because I am now freed to invest my energies and work my ass off with folks who not only consented to treat me respectfully whatever our relationship, but whom will also, by their very presence in my life, influence me and provide an opportunity for us to further evolve and give me a chance to love others as they each were created by God and the Universe to be loved whatever evil befalls us or enslaves us in life.
I think taking different actions like arresting some congress people and let Justice plow forward from there (rather than marching in the streets and petitioning the criminals to change their corrupt ways) might be more effective than all the praying and mutual encouragement seems to do. What do we need to do as a society to hold our government to its highest ideals and preserve the women and children of this generation if my generation is truly lost? If I knew what that was I would have done that instead of writing and getting my brains beat in for expressing my words without proper “visibility” or permit to act; however I will continue to write and ask questions because I’m promised that if I unite with others of my kind and take calculated risks and persevere in showing my best example in every situation I face, the human species will evolve and survive the next big shit to hit our cosmic fan whomever is to be blamed for it later, if we’re not all extinct first.

You have all the info; you figure it out yourself
Mood:  irritated
Topic: Words of Wisdom
I feel like I’m being urged to sit here and describe the true nature of the Universe and explain all the mysteries and I’m not going to waste my breath; even if I did happen to know everything all of a sudden. I already delivered the big message to God’s People, and if there’s another in the future, I’ll deliver that one too; but I was not put on this Earth to explain shit. You want to know about the Universe, close your mouth and open your eyes and figure it out yourself; all has been revealed for a couple centuries now.
Oh, but you want to know about the shit no one talks about; all the Evil shit in the Universe that you want to avoid. Well, good luck, people want to destroy my life for even thinking about Evil shit, so you’ll have to make do with the myth and bullshit and the tiny seeds of truth you know in your souls just like I do.
Did you think I was given super powers when I heard my “call” to deliver God’s message? Well, that would have been really cool, but no, I was already born with my “special” talents and gifts so that one day, if I worked my ass off and obeyed God’s Commandments to the letter and grew into the enlightened human I was intended to evolve into, then I might be worthy of a “call” someday before I die. I am only human, and while I might have some “higher” authority, it’s no more than any other human has been given to do his or her job.
Manifestations of God, each and every one from the Manifestation that revealed himself to Adam to the most recent Author all come from one direct genetic line. That is the way modern humans are able to tell who is the actual Manifestation from the wannabes; if he or she isn’t directly genetically descended from **all nine** Manifestations at least through the mother’s side (because sometimes the father isn’t always the one who created the child), then the person cannot possibly be a Manifestation of God with something “new” to give to Humanity. Manifestations of God come to Humanity to bring something we didn’t know before and we aren’t “due” for another Manifestation until Humanity reaches the next level when we’ll ready to add more information and solve more challenging problems so that someday, when Humanity is enlightened as a whole, we won’t need Manifestations of God reminding us what spoiled rotten shits we are and to get off our high horses and do what we came to this life to do.
I know that I have royal blood on both sides of my family, however, even if I happen to be genetically related to Christ or another Manifestation of God (which is extremely unlikely unless Christ had a lot more Scottish blood than he’s ever admitted), I cannot allow others to believe that I, myself, am a Manifestation of God. I am a Scribe or a sphinx; an enlightened human born to a specific task. There are a great number of us these Days; and many, many more will be “Called” very soon if they’ve not already been awakened by the True Mother. If I hadn’t done the “work” on my soul as we are all Commanded to do by God, there is zero way I would have been able to hear any kind of Call from anyone, not even my own dead mother.
So, now that you know that I’m really only human, however enlightened I might eventually prove myself to others, will you disregard everything I’ve been asked to tell you? You already ignore me and think I’m crazy and change the topic to things you’re more comfortable talking about; what makes you think you’re enlightened enough to hear any message I’m intended to deliver? If I have a specific message for you, I’ll be prompted to send an email or letter to you directly; otherwise you get to sort through my public website and choose the things in my writing which speaks most to you…or not, as you will; exactly as you have learned everything else in your existence. If you are intended to learn anything from me, what exactly is preventing you? If you want specifics you’ll have to find a nicer way of asking me than sitting over there and urging me to write and hoping I’ll mention something worthwhile to you amid the crap you don’t want to hear.
The Universal House of Justice sent an email to me in February in reply to only one email I’d sent in December and other than the usual referral to local sources and Godspeed with me, there was a brief sentence to inform me that Shoghi Effendi did not actually leave a last will and testament. I’ve not felt urged to reply and argue the point; no skin off my nose if they’re misled or mistaken. However, I do feel urged to post to my online journal that the entity I’ve always known as Shoghi Effendi feels rather unhappy about their denial. They might want to look beyond what they think a “will and testament” looks like a little more outside of the box because no one will be following God’s plans for Humanity and the way I see it, we won’t succeed without God’s plan being followed exactly to the letter, nothing less and more importantly, nothing more than That.
We’re talking about a man who devoted his every breath to making certain each and every word Baha’u’llah and Abdul’baha uttered were accurately translated into several languages, English and French among them, so that even the most Profoundly Dyslexic people on Earth could feel certain they understood God’s Words perfectly without needing interpretation from any other human to know the Truth for themselves.
Shoghi Effendi followed all the directives of his Beloved, including leaving specific plans for this Day, because he, of possibly anyone else ever born, knew the importance of his actions. He knew there was Enemies of God working against him every moment and that those Enemies would be even more powerful and determined than they’ve ever been before in these Last Days and there is every possibility that Humanity might “lose” if God’s Plan’s were revealed too soon. So, I can guess that, being the incredibly intelligent and creative thinker that Shoghi was, that he would leave clues for at least the Universal House of Justice to discover and announce to the world at the time they’re most needed. Maybe the members of the Universal House of Justice think they have everything they need to succeed already and it’s only a matter of time till “we” win and all they need to do is what they’ve always done; keep the Faith to themselves and their loved ones.
Well, the only thing I’m here to tell the general public is that if you believe in God and continue to destroy His Beloved Earth or *Her* Precious Creations, you are punished with your piety and will not find mercy or grace or salvation or even the “liberation” you so desperately pray for whether your body lives a long time or how much invisible money collects cyber dust in your bank accounts until the day you die and you still can’t take it with you. I hope you’re all just gathering your strength in the calm before the storm and not actually still in denial because that would mean that the underlying feeling of God’s message that ALL the “kingdoms of man” (I saw houses of worship and churches and temples more than specific governments other than the Bush Administration and Great Britain, of course) are utterly stripped of their former authority, including the Universal House of Justice if it does not follow the plans Baha’u’llah meticulously designed and **dated** to be done to the letter. I think that short sentence a real human added to the form email denying the existence of Shoghi Effendi’s last will and testament, without bothering to investigate what I might mean or offer that I might be seeing someone else’s last will and testament instead, tells me that I don’t need to waste another breath; Shoghi Effendi is dead, he’ll get over it, it’s out of his hands too.
I’ll stick to my “pagan” beliefs and worship the Goddess and serve other invisible entities as I have been blessed by God and my human existence to do, because the President of China visited Seattle on my actual birthday and I’m arrogant enough to think that I’m some kind of Spot that calls herself the Bitch Mother of the Universe who heralded the official “Age of Aquarius” and its arrival February 7, 2006. It’s a date that was already chosen before my mother happened to die on that day six years before; although that is the reason I’ve celebrated my birthday on that day for the past five years. It’s the first day of Dominion according to the Bahai Calendar; a fact I did not know until my daughter received her membership packet from the Bahai Faith before she asked or signed for it. That date (most years) has significance to the Chinese as you well know, but I already knew that from reading I was born in the Year of the Tiger on a restaurant placemat. If there are no accidents in reality because God is directing everything, then why place so much value on the coincidences of one human life? Just because I’m arrogant and see what I want to see of myself, doesn’t mean I’m altogether wrong or that I’m anything less than humble on the face of my beloved Planet. If you’re going to put the facts together, might as well use all the facts you’ve been given so far; it won’t make the things you dislike go away by letting other people do your shit job for you and you won’t learn anything “new” from anyone till you solve the shit on your plate now; otherwise there won’t be anyone to evolve to need any new information. Don’t believe me, keep praying and crying for mercy from your God; maybe He’ll have a doubt in your capacities or willingness to do what you promised to do after all, and you and your entire genetic line won’t exist any longer and you won’t have to worry about your own pain and suffering in the evil world any more. Godspeed to you too. Wet dreams and to the Bush Administration; don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. Oh, and my 90 day court orders are up; I'll be investigating if there are any grounds to file complaints on the officers involved in my case, considering I called for assistance from the Rape Unit and I was brutalized and humiliated for it instead.

Life is about choosing one's Master; then cheerfully serving till death
Mood:  a-ok
Topic: Words of Wisdom
You’re right, all these weeks since the February 7th deadline for the Bush Administration to call Our Troops home and step down from their offices and it seems like nothing whatsoever has improved. Bush is still in office and more stupid than ever and more of our nation’s citizens become disillusioned with their own dreams every minute. Yet, God promised in the letters I wrote over the holiday season to the Bush Administration and the Universal House of Justice that Bush and his Cohorts would be replaced “lock, stock and barrel.” [See: Entries beginning November05 or the link on my home page to “Gift of Creation from the True Mother” for details.]
I believe He did “replace” all those in positions of Earthly power; although it’s very difficult to see evidence of this fact in the physical universe in “real time” just yet. I mean a lot of “Christians” and “Republicans” and folks who adhere to those ideals, too, by the way. Tell me to whom the American business folks of only Washington State would rather “pay tribute,” Pacific Rim world leaders or the current US Administration? China’s President Hu visited Seattle and shook hands with Bill Gates and the Governor of Washington State and celebrated the Space Needle’s Birthday before “paying tribute” to the recognized head of our government. What does that tell you about whom Asia trusts to work with them in their goals of world peace and preserving Humanity longer than only the next few generations?
Yes, I most certainly believe President Hu was making an important statement, not so much for Bush himself, if his political advisors mentioned it the point would still be lost on him; President Hu spoke with his actions and every talent and tool he possesses that he’s willing to lead anyone with the courage to follow one “good” way to escape destruction regardless the form that destruction takes or how many “generations” or “seconds” we might have left until it happens.
The first Chinese Emperor said (as I understand from translations), “Slavery is only as Evil as the Master; slavery IS human experience in this Universe.” I think we should elect a Chinese-American President next term, preferably female …if the White House wants to remain “in the loop,” so to speak. How many Chinese-Americans are willing to uproot generations of sacrifice and spilled blood and leave US boarders if the Bush Administration disrespects China as the Universal House of Justice and United Nations and how many other organizations allow Bush to persecute Middle Eastern peoples till the very last instant of his term of office? Quite a few from this area have slaves and indentured servants in their family histories; I think they have a very good understanding of the costs of freedom.
Everyone in Washington DC must be having nightmares by now; President Hu will recognize a US government; he’s still going to deal directly with the most important individuals to his goals and interests as best suits the higher purpose and what will serve humanity as a species. The politicians will need to find someone willing to work like a team with other world leaders or they will follow China’s example and ignore him and thwart his plans by seducing US citizens and undermining the entire government’s authority altogether. How many generations would it take to have Socialist president in the White House, I wonder, since Washington State will benefit directly from trade with the Pacific Rim Nations in a very real way first? Do you think President Hu is unfamiliar with poverty stricken areas of a nation’s population; he knows about government corruption and many different kinds of poverty too. Yes, I trust President Hu to see an opportunity to make trade agreements with Native American Nations individually from those he makes with other nations and his first step is repairing his spiritual relationship with his own blood-related peoples where ever they may live on the globe now. I believe President Hu sees “blood-related” as those having Chinese and Asian genetic code markers and he’s obviously pleased with Mr. Gates’ steadfastness as an influential world leader himself. I know that I have nothing whatever to do with anything any kind of leader might do, yet I fantasize that one of my enthusiastic emails or perhaps a strange word of mouth somehow inspired exactly the correct chain of events to tip the scales back in Humanity’s favor.
In December, I sent an ecard to Ellen DeGeneres at her public email address through her site from Care2.com showing girls in party dresses and a link to a news story announcing China’s Lunar aspirations. I sent a respectful email to the makers of a Chinese manufactured menopause remedy to let them know (if they were interested at all) that I noticed unexpected changes in my cycles and other females in my environment and I was likely imagining things, however, I appreciated how very well their products worked for me when nothing else did. I accidentally mildly offended one of the Chinese business leaders in my community because I happened to be the one to tell her that China plans to go to the Moon by the year 2017 and that they had people in space October 05 while she reads two Chinese and one Chinese-American newspaper every day and she’d heard of no such thing. I can imagine she inquired through her own sources after I purchased the menopause medications she recommended and that if the President or even the Emperor of China needed inspiration from God it wouldn’t need to come from my lips directly at all; I could just put my enthusiasm into the Universe and thank God I’m not nearly His only Tool. I think the Bush Administration is more replaced than it realizes. The earth is moving right along whether the citizens of this country control their government or not; don't mind me, I just report what I see.

So, why aren't you blissfully Evil here in my arms, if you love me for my true self so well?
Mood:  mischievious
Topic: Words of Wisdom
What is it exactly I’m supposed to sit here and reveal to you? There’s nothing in the universe I know about to any significant extent except myself and no one wants to hear it or believes me when I tell them anyway. There isn’t a human in my life who wants to know more than I’m willing to share at a distance from them and their “personal” lives because if one did s/he would be a little more involved with my life than my hundreds of invisible friends who cannot learn something more of me than I’m able to share online or by phone.
I’m expected by society to restrain myself with “exploring” folks I meet so that I don’t overly influence them and lead them astray from the paths of God; cuz I’m so seductively evil people want to follow me to Hell to live my life and do the things I do as the naturally “aligned” and highly experienced evil soul that I am, I guess. I suppose the fear is that I will seduce the righteous from their happy, God-blessed homes into my sadomasochistic clutches and convert them to my evil ways and they will be lost forever and God will lose the big fight with Evil and all Hell will break loose or something inconvenient. Yet the opposite is actually true; although I most certainly could seduce someone into ruining their lives had I any desire to treat others as they’ve treated me from learning my fealty to my beliefs which are only partially opposite to their own by necessity of who I am as a person at this place in my life journey.
The brutal truth is that I’ve always held others at arm’s length and respectfully, subtly redirected them to lead their own fulfilling lives with absolutely nothing of my thoughts or suggestions or friendship they didn’t deliberately seek or consciously consent to (then eventually reject) with me first. The fact is that I’m a purist in my “Absolute” or “Old Guard” beliefs and don’t want folks to absorb my perspectives into their lives; my perspectives only work in my life and absolutely do work against people in their goals of equal relationships and career and children and all that they strictly enforce as “the good life.” However, I was already long too late to prevent the “BDSM” fashion craze to hit the collective unconscious by ’97 when I finally managed to get my $2500 Performa 400 Mac online and discovered email discussion groups and chat rooms. To this day I still find precious little of the sadomasochistic reality of life and utterly nothing of the respect and sacrifice and honor of my “personal” evil life anywhere on the internet; regardless how “real” people are on their sides of the screen or how much they sympathize and care for me and mine.
I promote the Safe, Sane, and Consensual campaign and, yes, it’s an organized campaign by members of various gay and leather groups originally primarily in the Pacific Northwest of the US who held a conference in someone’s backyard (or basement) one early year in the advent of the internet and decided saving stupid people’s lives prevented a lot of persecution for themselves in the long run. I promote their efforts because it’s the lesser of evils and who am I to prevent anyone else from discovering their destiny? They might as well have a few tips to cling to and give them a fighting chance for a good ten minutes if they’re lucky, since they’re bound and determined to jump into my evil “personal” life with both feet first regardless what their loved ones or anyone else tells them is the more effective way to satisfy their curiosity once and for all time.
The only way any of us “true Leather folk” survived our experiences and grew to the individuals we are today is from being enslaved at some point early in our lives by a human predator who held us on the literal verge of death (and worse, brought to orgasm with rape and pain and knowledge of imminent physical death) and deliberately allowed us to live as their prey every dark, anguished night and day until we either died -- as in all the way, physically dead -- or agreed and abandoned ourselves to Evil, period; it was an “absolute” kind of love no matter how sensitive one feels about the topic. And although SSC is an utter illusion with someone into bondage and rape fantasies and already a case of beer on the short drive to the middle of nowhere; at least it offers recourse after the fact and protection under mainstream law for the stupid people’s families. Too bad people like me have to be the ones to prove who the real predators are in your "mainstream" society; but that’s life, isn’t it?
Most of us that were taken to such extremes in our childhoods and adolescence (hell, once as an adult is enough to break most people’s egos, but it’s worse if one’s ego hadn’t fully developed yet and sincere predators like their prey young for that very reason) find it challenging building healthy mainstream relationships with anyone; however there are many, many more choices of healthy adult relationships available in the universe than only “mainstream” ones. It doesn’t matter whom or how much I love someone if we are incompatible in the kinds of relationships I am willing and capable of building with another creature in this realm or any of God’s realms. It’s my way to be brutally honest and show folks what they really want to know about their sexuality and attraction to me as I flirtatiously escort them back to familiar territory and let them choose a path more suited to their natural talents and life goals.
Yes, I’m arrogant like that. I deliberately choose my intimate partners and I make certain I’m willing to adapt my home and lifestyle to accommodate that specific individual’s unique needs and experiences of the past before I speak my feelings and share my plans for wanting to include someone more into my “personal” life; provided one seemed interested and willing on a deeper level than the opportunity to poke around in my pussy and feel body orgasms at the same time. I want to know that the things I do in my life will benefit them more than any other activities they could choose with anyone else because the relationship is “real” for me too and I don’t want to worry about someone changing their mind in the middle of something intense and crying “abuse” and giving my enemies an opportunity to send me to prison or the mental hospital or otherwise destroy my entire life.
Yes, I would reject you in a heartbeat before you even knew my full name if I sensed anything I “choose” to do in my evil “personal” life might offend you or lead you into temptation you have zero way of feeling fulfilled in the long run by doing yourself. Appreciate how rare it is that you know me as well as you do; there must be something more I value in you and our friendship if you’re so near to me. Yet, you’re not near enough to kiss me much less have an opinion of anything I might choose to do without your knowledge or witness; quit expecting me to build a mainstream relationship with you just because you and your body and your mind and your soul are not suited to building an “evil” one with me. Be satisfied with living your “good” life and acknowledge there’s some things you were never intended by God to survive and trust me when I hold you at arm’s length; I’m risking my very real life for you to look into my eyes and share something “personal” with me at that vulnerable distance if that’s true. That means something very special to me and I refuse to conform to your adolescent ideals of romance or uninformed “BDSM” whims just to prove I intend you no harm with living my own life and fulfilling my own destiny in this evil world. We can be more mature and respectful to each other than that by a great deal more, I’m certain; we’ve lived through more than our share of persecution and sabotage from our own blood already, don’t you feel?

Imagine you're an enlightened being for a refreshing perspective
Mood:  mischievious
Now Playing: Random Media Player from cds
Topic: Words of Wisdom
I’ve been sitting here “writing” for a couple hours now and there just isn’t anything I care to say about the world at large. Does it seem like a “Brutal Winter” is coming within three years and months to you? It does to me, but you’d have to ask the scientists; they’ve got instruments and theories and everything, I’ve only my six senses. Yes, six senses; my soul knows everything happening around me, if I can understand my dreams and listen to the little voice in the back of my mind it would combine information from my every sense into something I can describe in human terms.
However, I sit here with a third of my hair thinned from my scalp in tiny prickly patches where, four months after at least one police officer ripped it out of my head the day after Christmas, it’s beginning to grow again; and I am not willing to risk my life for God’s Chosen an instant longer. I am a “sphinx,” which I visualize like a carrier pigeon of the archangels except that I am verifiably, entirely human in the physical realm and I can only rely on the facts and coincidences that guided my steps every day of my life.
Reality in the spiritual realm is so very different from human reality, what we can “prove” with our five senses and modern technology, our most brilliant creative thinkers all combined dead and alive and destined to exist in the future cannot agree nor definitively define any kind of “spiritual” realm.
I’ve already awakened those who were called; that’s what I do, give forewarning to specific people, usually from their own “guardian angel” whom is, in brutal truth, their very own souls. You want to sleep and believe your guardian angel is named “Michael” or “Gabriel” and you are divinely inspired to the truth by God, fine, at least you’re not seducing someone into evil and claiming the archangel “Lucifer” tricked you into it.
Are you an enlightened individual? Are you able to see other people’s “auras” or electrical fields near their bodies? Are you able to sense something is different or dangerous about others for utterly no apparent reason? Are you sensitive to some (or many) forms of light and feel you see more clearly in indirect lighting? Does the smell of ozone, such as during and after an electrical storm, sexually arouse you? Do you catch information out of the corner of your eye or the “clear blue sky” and take a calculated risk based on those “gut” feelings? Do you do your best thinking after sunset until before dawn? Do you know when people lie to you or manipulate your emotions?
Really? Yet, people reject me and my advice and my every idea and prefer thinking the worst of me as a woman and mother and human being rather than comprehend the reality with their own souls. How have I seduced you into anything that could be construed as “evil?” How much influence could I possibly have on things destined for six thousand years (and that was only when God’s promises were written in stone for humanity) to happen in this time and place? Yet, the flutter of wings of one butterfly is mathematically calculated to have an effect on weather patterns in a distant time and place some miraculous way. I believe it’s true. And I’ve never seen a butterfly afraid to fly. You may not be awakened to your metamorphosis until your physical body wears itself out proving it existed at one time; however your soul has wings and looks like an “angel” if you were to catch a glimpse of it in a mirror. Your “holy spirit” is invisible in the physical realm because light as well as anything that might reflect it are physical forces and substances. You have “free will,” imagine yourself as you please; if you refuse to open your eyes till you’re dead and buried might as well bend over and light the next Bush’s victory cigar for him yourself.
God cares nothing of your consent. He created all life everywhere; I’d be surprised if He can see us without a godly microscope that’s how “insignificant” we are in comparison. I felt like a newborn infant in the arms of the Manifestation of God (perhaps the Bab) during my experiences of Thanksgiving time; as an extremely experienced adult in my alternative perspectives, I imagine my soul looked something like a cherub in His safe embrace. God loves us beyond our comprehension; even the briefest doubt in His love for His creations and we would never know we’d existed at all. So who left all the clues behind? Was there ever a time when humanity had the education and technology to put all the information together since we branched off from primates? No, we might have built the pyramids with our bare hands and no knowledge of the wheel, but we did so as pets of the gods; they wanted us to remember them in the very fiber of our bodies and imagine them in the deepest recesses of our imaginations. Because as long as you pine and pray for your material existence and kill each other for the last remaining resources left on the planet and generally ignore your higher selves the sweeter your anguish will taste when you’re rudely awakened in hell on Earth and there’s another eight years of a Bush Puppet presidency; different Bush, same old bullshit. Choose your guardian angel wisely, there are much worse things to be afraid of in the spiritual realm than discovering your soul has already been seduced to evil before you knew it; your “free will” gets you out of a lot of trouble. Remember archangels are Gods; if you disagree with One’s practices then adore yourself before consenting to one “greater” than you. Choose your consequences; that’s the brutal reality of your “free will” in this life, sleeping or awake or numb from the pain.
Wet dreams and peace and prosperity the remainder of your days.

I don't "settle;" I build from the dirt forward...it's the Earth here.
Mood:  a-ok
Topic: Words of Wisdom
Relationship? Yes, I suppose I’m ready for “another” relationship. Funny thing, I thought a friendship was a relationship. I imagined I had a lot more friends than I actually prove to have, but it’s that way for all of us, isn’t it? Oh, it’s not as intimate and sexual online as it would be in our homes; I guess it doesn’t count then. But that’s assuming I’m more intimate and sexual with my offline friends than I am online and that’s simply not the case; if anything I’m more reserved in person. It’s “for real” in person, right?
Perhaps the question is: How am I able to build more of a relationship with folks when none want the kind of relationship I desire/need in my life? I’m the best friend I can possibly be with each and every person I meet. I’ve held onto the relationship tooth and nail when every one of you have deleted me from your Yahoo and rejected every positive word out of my finger tips at least once, and virtually all of you several times. I have “kept in touch” when appropriate and all the other promises I made to each of you regardless how I’ve been treated in return. I expect to live every day with or without a physical body, what do a few seconds of effort or grace on Earth matter in the lifetime of a human soul?
My intimate friendships are based on trust. Imagine the level of trust it will take me to get naked with a close friend; because I don’t build “casual” relationships with my friends. I build relationships with people based on the *fact* that we will not have sex just because one of us drove a long way and needed to sleep somewhere anyway. And if you think I’m the “dominant” one in the relationship, then I need to trust my lovers above and beyond an online friendship. You want my trust?
Take my advice. Follow my suggestions and incorporate the things that benefit you into your own lives. Quit whining about what you want and take sincere stock of your assets and strengths. Do you live in a safe, clean environment? Is there healthy food daily? Do your children respect you and share themselves with you? How about your friends? Do you have all the tools necessary to meet your responsibilities and obligations in life; a reliable vehicle, for example? Do you have faith and trust in yourself that you can face one more day with whatever is left you at the end of the cold, dark night?
The reality is that you are going to live and breathe every single day until the day your body dies regardless whether or not you feel fulfilled or “happy” or “married” or anything at all. There is no such thing as getting to choose “all or nothing” in the universe; that’s a lie used to keep uneducated peoples enslaved to a ridged code of ethics. Humans have free will, that means they have options in the way they respond to their experiences and learn to choose the things they “need” in their lives based on the way they prefer to feel afterward … none of us, zero humans, have control of anything else in the universe except our own, unique, individual selves. There is absolutely zero way to avoid experiencing life if you were born, in any form including rock and invisible light, into this physical realm.
If you want my trust, you’re going to have to trust me when I tell you that I’m more unique than the vast majority of folks, and I will continue to treat my friends and “relationships” exactly as I’ve done all these years and months with each and every one of you … individually; like family. I’m more mature in my perspectives now, and I expect to build deeper relationships with my friends as they are able to involve themselves with me and my life and my goals and my perspectives. That’s my reality. And if you think I’ll be the dominant one in our relationship then my “needs” are far stricter on top of that. I’m satisfied and secure in myself and experienced enough to treat you well and respect your wishes whether I’m any part of your life or if you ignore me utterly; I can only trust you as far as I do. I’m exactly as human as you are too. Meantime, life thunders on; wet dreams to you. :D

Fluoride
Mood:  bright
Topic: Stray Thoughts
During my letter writing spree I wrote something about Fluoride that continues to nag at me. I wondered how virtually all of the cities of the United States are required to put fluoride in the drinking water and the fact that I’ve never been able to find any records of anyone ever being allergic to it. There’s something wrong with that according to the True Mother; there are people allergic to dust and pollen but not one person on the planet (or at least the US) is allergic to Fluoride? So, I looked it up in my trusty dusty dictionary.
Fluoride, n. Any binary compound of fluorine with another element.
Fluoridate, v. To add a fluorine compound to (a water supply) for the purpose of preventing tooth decay.
Fluorine, n. Symbol “F”, A pale yellow, highly corrosive, highly poisonous, gaseous halogen element, the most electronegative and most reactive of all the elements. It is used in a wide variety of industrially important compounds. Atomic number 9, atomic weight 18.9984, freezing point -219.62 C, boiling point -188.14 C, specific gravity of liquid 1.108, valence 1. See element. [French from New Latin fluor, generic name for a group of minerals used as fluxes, FLUOR.]

I’d like to know exactly what can be combined with this lethal element that can possibly allow people (and animals) to ingest it every single day without dying. I just can’t imagine the US government waging such a war against tooth decay that it requires our cities to pump fluoride into our water supply and dental hygiene products and prohibits by strict law all water purifying products from filtering out the fluoride. Tooth decay, what kind of a national emergency is “tooth decay” for the government to respond in such a forceful way? And I don’t know about you, but I brush my teeth at least once a day with a Sonicare toothbrush and fluoride toothpaste and drink lots of water but I’ve lost a tooth to decay anyway. None of my friends seem to have improved teeth, and even with factors like diet and genetics, they are still losing teeth to decay. Fine, the government loves us and wants us to have pretty teeth, I can live with that; just tell me how it’s possible we can survive ingesting even the tiniest amount of fluoride?
Are we immune now? Can I walk into a room with a fluoride breathing creature and hold a conversation? Do I glow in the dark in bands of light that the human eyeball can’t see? Does it preserve my bones in my grave so future archeologists can wonder how so much fluoride got into my system? What else can fluoride possibly do to people that the government would insist that every man woman and child have quantities pumped into their systems? Is eight glasses of water a day a good maintenance level of fluoride in the bloodstream like a psychotropic drug? I suspect if I ever found out, I would be killed. Too bad the government doesn’t put this much effort into preventing poverty…the most destructive cause of tooth decay.

Meliora; God's gift to Lucifer (or Min as he prefers most often)
Mood:  mischievious
Topic: Words of Wisdom
The challenge in receiving visions and visitations is verifying whom the message is from. I’ve discovered over the years that it’s very rarely only one entity which has an interest in the information I’m given. I know that any beings claiming to be God Himself are false; the human mind cannot comprehend God directly so He created Manifestations of Himself to communicate His Will to humanity. I have been repeatedly informed in my dreams that there are zero “extraterrestrial” entities involved with humanity anywhere in or around the Earth at any distance, so whatever “abductions” and sightings are all by Earthly creatures. However, “time” is solely a human concept and since all of the entities I’ve met either never had a physical body or have been permanently separated from it, I’m relatively certain most either ignore time or are capable of manipulating it.
I know that I’ve received only one “message from God” (so far) and that was last Thanksgiving time when the Giant Doves appeared to me and anyone passing by during that week or so they rested on my fence. Seeing them at the beginning of my weeks long experiences seemed to me like a “seal of approval” where at least the first several non-human beings I encountered were authorized to contact me. About four weeks later, living humans decided to take matters into their own hands and attempted to beat me into submission or destroy my life if I didn’t renounce my experiences and deny they came only from my own imagination and sheer coincidence. There’s a great deal of my experiences I’ve not dared to write down for fear of being destroyed by ignorant or God-fearing people; my children still need me for a few more years.
All the other visions and visitations I’ve experienced in my life prior to last holiday season have all been either humans who have died or were in the process of dying or living, non-human entities I’ve called “arch-angels” for want of a more accurate term. I believe the former are attracted to me because I can deliver their messages to the living; there’s always something they’ve forgotten to say before it’s too late. I can’t say that any of the other entities have taken much interest in me at all except to acknowledge that what I am able to perceive of them is real. They just do what they came to do and leave me to make whatever sense of them and their actions as I am able.
Up until last Thanksgiving, zero of my visions occurred while I was fully awake in the physical realm, I had flashes of my sleeping experiences when I was fully conscious, but those are memories and not the actual experience itself. The challenge for me is knowing that the only way humans are able to perceive “ghosts” and “angels” and “demons” and such beings is through our souls of which our minds (imagination) are a significant part. We cannot comprehend these creatures outside of our human existence so we put human faces on them and believe with all our hearts that they have human minds and “good” human motivations. In my experience, these creatures are bound by the laws of God and the Universe and none are capable of influencing humans without their consent or God’s direct command to act without it, including Lucifer and Christ Himself. At the same time, each and every creature of God has a purpose and while humans were directed by God to multiply and prosper and build the foundations for God’s Kingdom on Earth; everything else has their own directives and purposes and a good percentage are *not* in accordance to what an individual human might pray for in its life.
The last time I studied the Bible, I was in my teens and living in a “non-denominational” (Catholic) girls institution and I was not very interested in blindly believing every word written in it then either. And while I’ve never studied the scriptures of the Bahai Faith beyond the basics, I believe they are the most recent and accurate because Bahaullah either wrote them down himself or dictated God’s words directly to devoted scribes. Whatever religion I’ve practiced over the years has always been to get a feel for the few kernels of truth it managed to preserve through the centuries. I’ll admit that most of my attitude is due to the fact that I’ve never wanted to be influenced by other people’s fiction and would rather live without knowing more than I can comprehend on my own than worry about sorting through the myth and fantasy and outright lies folks insist is the absolute truth. I’ve had a mild curiosity to learn the names of the deities and creatures I’ve encountered; but since I never think to ask at the time and very few bothered to introduce themselves that I can recall, I assume I’m too far down the chain of command to do anything but consent and obey as quickly as possible regardless who visited me anyway. I’ve always figured that as long as I remained ignorant I would be ignored and left to my own free will exactly as the majority of humans have treated me since my birth. I believe now that I was mistaken; the human soul is awake and functioning from the moment of conception whether that soul ever communicates with its mind or how well its body functions in the physical realm or not. None of us are sincerely ignorant; therefore we suffer the consequences of our actions regardless if we understand the causes before we see our bodies rot.
That’s something to think about. In the meantime, since too many folks seem to want to destroy my life for having the honor of being born into slavery with a perceptive mind; I’ve sworn and consummated fealty to Lucifer…at God’s command. Yes, it’s time for humanity to evolve as a species; enjoy growing your wings; none will ever be awarded to souls for simply surviving a life and dying ever again.