The Spagetti-Like Mess Inside ME That I Like to Call Pain

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Katelyn's Birthday was today
Mood:

hug me
Topic: hug me please
Katelyn's 16 today... yay! I need a hug so bad, I just want to sleep (literally) with someone. It's been so long since I've been held, I'm starting to forget what it felt like or why I even miss it. There's a number of guys I would date but I feel they really just wouldn't understand/appreciate me for exactly who I am. A lot of guys are no too concerned with helping an emotional train wreck of a girl try to understand why she can't sleep. I'm telling you all it's the nightmares... but no one listens. As usual. I haven't got one comment on this website and I don't even think anyone has seen it, but it doesn't matter it helps me vent. I think if someone were to see it they might would be a little scared. I'm so freakin' full, I ate two brocoli cheese and chicken lean pockets and two mountain dews... but it was delicious... so yea. Well I guess I'm reaching my limit, I always write too much nonsense on these entries, never anything meaningful just blah blah blah blah... I feel like a Charlie Brown Teacher. ASHLEY

Posted by the insane lovely at 4:01 PM EDT
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Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Today, 1 month until I'm 17...
Mood:

hug me
Topic: I'm so incomplete
So there I was... between how I am and how I should be (according to everyone else) And I was trying to figure out which way to go. One way, I gain acceptance, 'friends', parties, and people actually admit that I AM PRETTY. But the other way... the way I am now... I only have a couple friends but I know for sure they would lay their life ON THE LINE for me. (As I would for them also) I don't really like parties unless you mean about 5 people drinking coffee with a live band blaring in your ears while you all pretend you can understand whoever is trying to talk to you. And as for people admitting that I AM PRETTY... so what? They don't see me. Inside or out. They refuse to because they're scared. I'm just to complex for anyone (with a few exceptions). So now I met this guy Joe. Well we haven't met other than online, but I like the guy already. FINALLY someone who believes in music. I swear music is the foundation of the building we know as Earth. Well that and a lot of hot molten rock and lava. Anyways, when I get more scoop on Joe, it'll be here. And when I figure out why exactly a fork has four prongs instead of 5 I'll let you know that too. PAIN

Posted by the insane lovely at 3:45 PM EDT
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Thursday, September 23, 2004

I'M BORED I'M SORRY
Mood:

hug me

Ashley Highway

Childbirth Hospital	8
Valley of Depression	19
Loony-Bin Lane	37
Study Hall	151
Fame City	558
Please Drive Carefully

Where are you on the highway of life?

From Go-Quiz.com

Posted by the insane lovely at 4:45 PM EDT
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lol im crazy and bored

How to make a Ashley

Ingredients:

5 parts mercy

1 part brilliance

5 parts

Method:
Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add sadness to taste! Do not overindulge!

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

Posted by the insane lovely at 4:38 PM EDT
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wow check this out

>
WARNING

kittie459 is radioactive. Wear protective clothing at all times.

From Go-Quiz.com

Posted by the insane lovely at 4:36 PM EDT
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There's a first for everything...
Mood:

hug me
Topic: pouring my guts out
Well, my open minded little curious bodies... how are you today? And don't say "good." just because that's the generic response. Last night i dyed my hair a more romantic goth color and yes, I love it. I call it burgundy, but the box says egyptian plum... O K~ the amazing swings in my mood are starting to grow. I've measured a two second span of just blankness inbetween each mood. I have a new song that defines me~~ "Nobody's Home" Avril.... GAG I can't say it. I hate her, a lot. Maybe its a jealousy thing... I wish I was beautiful... Anyways, so I finally decided to stop playing the kissing bandit and try to find a boyfriend to fall head over heels for. At least if I do fall in love, I won't cheat anymore. I have no idea where to start. I just want like someone who loves me... toughy huh? well, what can I say? My soul bled through onto my shirt today. No one noticed because it was black. Thank The Almighty God in heaven. I swear He watches over me... anyways, I feel full but hungry at the same time. fucking fat ass... i wish i was tan. HIT ME IN MY FUCKING FACE!!! BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF ME PLEASE THEN SLIT MY THROAT UNTIL MY HEAD IS HANGING BY A THREAD!!!!!!! sorry, mood swing... I'm fine now. Lol I rhymed. I need a freakin ass job man. and some cash for my crop. Nevermind me and my pointless remarks... Its what I live for. ASHLEY

Posted by the insane lovely at 3:28 PM EDT
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