It's been awhile...
Mood:  crushed out
Now Playing: The Ghost of You by My Chemical Romance
Topic: hug me please
Hey you, I haven't written in way way way too long. It's just that well the computer at the airport fucked up and over and all the way to hell. And thats where I usually wrote you... At the airport after school. But really, that's no excuse is it my dear self? lol nah it ain't. So here I am, typin it up. Me and Jessie are best friends now, and her ex boyfriend Seth, introduced me to this guy Jake. Well me and Jake ended up being together and wanting to get married but he just dumped me the other day and I'm a friggin wreck. Isnt it funny how I always find my way back here when I get depressed? I guess it's instinct or something. See Seth's gf erica hates me, and so does her cousin Shyanna. And Shyanna just happens to be Jake's ex girlfriend that he still loves a lot. So I guess that leaves me without a man yet again with Valentine's Day just around the corner. Yet, I'm not surprised. These good things that happen to me are just a trick to suck me in and destroy me. So This is the tattoo I want to get. I think... I might get a Rose instead. Ablack one. Life is like a rose... You spend forever enduring pain, the thorns, but in the end you find your happiness, the rose itself... I don't think I'll ever find my rose. Or maybe I already have, and I just let him slip out of my hands. :( anyways I should go, I want to get back on yahoo. I love Jake... I always will. What can I say? I'm pitiful.

Where's m,y boyfriend???
Mood:  loud
Topic: hug me please
Well the other day when chris came out here to the airport, we climbed the tower. Then made out and fell in love... And I haven't heard from him since. I calle dhis g-parents and his g-pa fussed at me and told me never to call back again. He wasnt there obviously. Bridgette didn't know where he was either. So I went to Subway cause thats where he works and all, and they said he had the week off!! What the crap? I just hope I didn't do something to make him run away :( yea well Kayla is here so I'm gonna go and give her my undivided non-sexual attention. I'll write back later whenever I find him or hear something. I love you, self. bye

Eat you alive...
Mood:  hug me
Topic: hug me please
Yea well I'd eat you alive... I love that song so much. I think when I get home I'll listen to it. Today was extremely weird. I had the deepest mood swings that i've had in a while. I almost forgot I had bpd until today. Jade is bipolar... aren't we just a fucked up circle of friends? I mean geez me, her and jade are just total freaks with major issues. Not like there's anything wrong with that I just love it. I also had a lot of boogers in my nose today, it sucked not being able to breathe. Oh and yesterday I started my period... DIE UTERUS DIE. I don't really want a baby anyways. I should get my tubes tied. Thats such a difficult process and not to mention expesive though. I'm so freakin a hungry. Anyways I don't have much to write today so this won't be the longest entry ever thats for sure. I'm 17 and I saw my first legal R rated movie. Saw. It was amazing. I loved it so much I still think about it and have flash backs. There's all these bloody gory excruciating painfully nasty things, and I got so tickled by it i just had to laugh. And the ending was just sooooo shocking. You had to love it. But I'll never tell!!! You'll just have to go see it yoursself. Hey maybe I was wrong this entry is startin to get pretty long... DAMN THE BOOGERS IN MY NOSTRALS!!! I hate it so much. But I refuse to pick my nose. I'll go blow it later. I can wait. Well I guess I'm going to go to Toccoa Falls with uncle Richie rich. He's visiting... I love you dear self with all my body and soul. ASHLEY

Katelyn's Birthday was today
Mood:  hug me
Topic: hug me please
Katelyn's 16 today... yay! I need a hug so bad, I just want to sleep (literally) with someone. It's been so long since I've been held, I'm starting to forget what it felt like or why I even miss it. There's a number of guys I would date but I feel they really just wouldn't understand/appreciate me for exactly who I am. A lot of guys are no too concerned with helping an emotional train wreck of a girl try to understand why she can't sleep. I'm telling you all it's the nightmares... but no one listens. As usual. I haven't got one comment on this website and I don't even think anyone has seen it, but it doesn't matter it helps me vent. I think if someone were to see it they might would be a little scared. I'm so freakin' full, I ate two brocoli cheese and chicken lean pockets and two mountain dews... but it was delicious... so yea. Well I guess I'm reaching my limit, I always write too much nonsense on these entries, never anything meaningful just blah blah blah blah... I feel like a Charlie Brown Teacher. ASHLEY