Etruscan dancer reference courtesy of 'A Funny Thing Happened to Me On The Way To The Forum'.

I stood up an' stretched. "Okay, enough of tha angst shit. Yer Mom wants ta have a talk with ya, an' I'm sure yer plannin some sorta expidition for latah, so why don'tcha go have a blab with her now? I'll stay with Bliss." I grinned. "If ya hurry, ya might catch her in bed with Heph. He turnes tha nicest shade of purple when he's ticked."

"All right. When I get back we'll drop Bliss off at Pop's place. It's his turn to babysit." I managed not ta snicker. Actually, who'd ya rather have guardin yer kid than War?

Cupe was dressed when he stood up. I understand that latah on, oh a few dozen centuries down tha line, tha mortals pictured Cupe as a little, chubby, nekkid kid. *snicker* *snort* Excuse me. I wouldn'ta minded tha nekkid part, but while tha gods are a lot more casual about that sorta thing than mortals, they usually do keep at least a few rags on when they're out in public. Dammit.

I expected him ta just flash off, but he came ovah an' took me in his arms. I stiffened up. I mean, I didn't exactly expect him ta clobber me, but I figured he couldn't be feelin too kindly toward me aftah what I put him through last night. He looked a little sad when he felt me tense up, but he smiled. I said, "What?"

"Good-bye kiss?"

"Yer kiddin, right?"

His hand went up inta my hair, holdin me, an' he kissed me--with tongue. Uh, yeah, I suppose he wouldn't have been able ta do that if I hadn't opened my mouth, but... *cough* Didn't seem p'lite not ta open when someone was knockin, ya know? Gods can kiss for a long time, since we don't hafta have oxygen. Have I mentioned how good he tastes? He kept kissin me till I had my arms around his neck an' was suckin on his tongue.

Finally he pulled back an' smiled at me. "Now, that's a send off!" He bit my chin lightly an'...

FLASH

gone again. An' me standin there with a hard-on.

*sigh*

Well, Bliss was gonna be up at any minute, so I whipped up a tub of cold watah an' dunked myself. That works even for gods. By tha time Bliss came toddlin in, yawnin an' rubbin his eyes, I was dry, dressed, an' my teeth had pretty much quit chatterin.

He went an' rooted through tha bedclothes, lookin for Cupe. Frownin, he said, "Stwife, Daddy gone again?"

"Just for a little while, kid. Yer grandma wanted ta see him." Tha bottom lip poked out, an' I talked quick. "But as soon as he gets back he's takin ya ta visit yer grandad."

His face lit up brighter'n Apollo's chariot at it's highest. "Gran'pa!" he squealed. "I get to see Joxie, too?"

"Sure. He ain't goin anywhere any time soon, Birdboy."

He giggled, trotted ovah an' climbed on my lap. "Do my wings?"

"Sure." I started combin out his feathahs. "Ya musta been tossin an' turnin last night, huh?"

He shrugged. "Had a funny dream."

"Yah? Tell me. I could use a laugh."

He shook his head. "Not funny ha-ha, Stwife."

"Ah, strange-funny." He nodded. "Okay, I like strange. Tell."

He scratched his blonde curls. "Well..." he giggled. "Maybe it is funny ha-ha. You looked kinda funny."

"Oh, I was in it, huh?"

"Yeah, you an' Daddy." He giggled again. "You was kissin."

I cleared my throat. "Was that funny-strange or funny ha-ha?"

"That wasn't the funny part."

That got me. "It wasn't?"

"Nope. Why shouldn't Daddy kiss you? Youse nice."

"Uh... thanks, kid. But what was tha funny part?"

Bliss giggled again. "You was so fat."

I laughed, too. "How many chins did I have?"

"No, youse face wasn't fat. You was fat like Joxie. Ow!"

"Aw, geez, kid, I'm sorry! Did I pull?"

"Just a little, an' that's okay."

"Uh... Bliss, Joxer is fat cause he's gonna have a baby."

"I know. I'm gonna have a cousin!"

"Uh, sorta. Look, howsabout I show ya tha different types of loaded dice? If I know Zeus, he's gonna wanna play against ya some time or anothah, an' ya should be prepared."

FLASH

"Daddy!"

It was a good thing I let go fast, or I'da had a handful of feathahs when Bliss launched himself off my lap an' tackled Cupe. Cupe snatched him up an' tossed him in tha air. Bliss giggled, an' hovahed a couple of seconds, little wings churnin, before he dropped back down inta Cupe's arms. "Good morning, Bliss! Have you been good for Strife?"

"Yeah." He looked ovah at me. "Sowwy, Stwife." I shrugged. He turned back ta Cupe. "Daddy, you came and saw me last night, didn'tcha?"

Cupid hugged him. "I sure did. You know I can't sleep unless I see you. Did you sleep good?"

"I had a dream. Stwife..."

"We oughta get this show on tha road, huh?" I said hastily.

Cupe glanced at me. "Glad to see you're starting to show some enthusiasm for the work." He looked back at Bliss. "What about Strife, baby?"

"Stwife was..."

"I'm goin. I need ta talk ta Unc."

"Strife, wait..."

This time I flashed. I showed up in tha middle of Ares's house, luckily close enough to a chair ta grab it an' sit down.

"Strife, you okay?"

I looked. Joxer, in a loose tunic that didn't disguise tha bulge of his belly, was sittin on a sofa with his legs stretched out. Ares was sittin behind him, with his arms around him an' his chin restin on Joxer's shouldah. He was gently strokin his lover's swollen tummy.

"Yah, I'm fine." An' I was. Tha dizziness an' whoopsiness had disappeared almost at once.

Ares frowned at me--nothin new there. "You're supposed to be with Cupid."

"He's comin. I thought I'd just drop in a little early an' say hey." I smiled at Joxer. "Hey."

He smiled back. "Hey." He really is a nice guy. I feel a little ashamed of all tha crap I laid on him before he hooked up with Unc.

"Unc, I was just thinkin... Ya know, I still haven't gotten that ambassador in a twist yet. I was gonna do it tha next day, but tha manure hit tha blades of tha rotatin aeration device..."

Ares looked confused. Joxer, who's got more on tha ball than a lotta folks give him credit for translated, "Shit hits the fan." Ares looked at him. "One of Salmoneus's inventions. You don't wave the fan, there are a lot of fans attached to a central wheel, and it spins by..." He trailed off. "It's kind of complicated, and it was more trouble than it was worth, but believe me, what he's talking about is a big mess."

"Anyways, I'm sure if ya had a talk with Zeus he'd give me some time off, an' I could get it taken care of. He's gotta state banquet today, an' that would be tha perfect opportunity." I giggled. "He's gonna make a speech, an' I'm pretty sure I can get him ta screw up when he goes ta say 'I wanna honor your ancestors' an' say instead 'I wanna sleep with your mothahs'."

Ares looked interested, but Joxer slipped an elbow inta his side. His voice was grudging. "It can wait."

Shit. I thought for sure he'd buy that. I was gettin a little desperate. I hadda put some space between me an' Cupe because... Well, there couldn't be a repeat of what happened last night, an' I didn't trust myself. "Well, ya got that rebellion scheduled in tha Sixth Battalion of tha Preatorian Guard. If they aren't gonna think yer directly responsible, I need ta get started now, an'..."

"I can send your mother."

I sat up straighter. "Unc, I thought ya just wanted a little rebellion, not an out-an-out massacre!"

"She'll tone it down. Just concentrate on helping Cupid fix the mess you made."

FLASH

"Gran'pa!"

Bliss squirmed out of Cupid's arms an' bounded toward tha couch. Everyone started yellin an' wavin arms, seein him headed toward Joxer like a runnaway centaur, but he surprised us. By tha time he reached tha couch he skidded to a stop an' gave Joxer's legs a gentle hug. "Hi, Joxie! Can I see the baby?"

Joxer laughed. "Sure, Bliss." He watched as the little boy put his hands carefully on the globe of his stomach, then leaned down an', with an intense look on his face, pressed his ear ta tha swell.

Aftah a minute Bliss grinned an' crowed, "Bump bump bump bump bump."

"That's right, that's the baby's heart."

"Stwife was..."

'I was gonna teach tha kid ta recognize loaded dice, in case Zeus decided ta pluck him, an' I don't mean feathahs." That got me a stare from everyone. "What?"

Ares said, "Strife, I swear, if you teach my grandchild how to cheat at dice..."

"Dad." That one word was cold, an' I'll be damned if Ares didn't stop, but he was obviously pissed.

Cupid gave Joxer a meaningful look, an' he looked back ovah his shoulder at Ares. "Love, help me stand up, would you? I think I'll take my milk out in the garden today." Ares gently helped Joxer to his feet an' materialized a big goblet of milk, handin it to him. "Thank you." Joxer ruffled Bliss's hair. "Bliss, I always give Mjau some of my milk. Would you like to come watch him? He's been trying to catch butterflies in the garden the last couple of days."

"Yeah!"

Joxer gave his hand to the little boy, then looked at me. "Strife, come keep us company."

I started ta say somethin, but Cupe an' Ares both gave me a look, so I trailed along behind and spent a little while watchin tha little black kitten leapin an' pouncin, chasin yellow butterflies around tha garden, an' dodgin Bliss, who was chasin him. I'd materialized a nice, comfy chair an' footstool (he needed ta keep his feet up, so his ankles wouldn't swell) for Joxer, an' I sat on tha grass next ta him. After a little while I felt him pet my hair, an' he said, "Cupid gave Ares what for about you yesterday." I flinched. "Oh, don't worry about that. He had it coming to him." I looked up at him. "Strife, I love Ares, but I'm not blind to his faults. He hasn't been very nice to you over the years."

I picked a blade of grass an' started shreddin it. "He wasn't so bad. He took care of me."

"Strife," Joxer's voice was gentle, "you know what my family life was like. I can recognize screwed up when I see it."

"Yah, I guess ya can. But it coulda been worse. Even at his worst, I knew he loved me. He's just..." I blew out a breath. "Well, he's Ares."

"Yeah."

A little while later a shadow fell across me, an' I looked up ta see Ares standin ovah me. That usually isn't a good thing. I didn't like bein that close ta those boots, even if I had Joxer, Cupe, an' Bliss there as buffers. An' he had such a peculiar look on his face. He was lookin at me like he'd nevah seen be before. I cringed when he reached down for me, but instead of punchin me or tossin me inta tha ornamental pool he... he...

he hugged me!

Oh, geez!

I froze, waitin for him ta rip my intestines out. That smarts like crazy an' it's a real mess ta clean up, an' it can take up to a week ta heal right, so I wasn't lookin forward to it, an' it was tha only reason I could figure for him grabbin me like that.

He whispered. "I didn't know. Strife, I swear to Zeus I didn't know. I thought he was just going to slap you around some, maybe break a bone at the worst. And later when he started being more open with his... his atrocities, I'd forgotten. And you didn't seem so bad afterwards, and you never said anything. If I had known..."

I jerked away from Ares, starin at Cupid. "You told him?"

Cupid shook his head. "I showed him. I just told him to take a look in my mind. It's there now, too, Strife."

"Shit!" I screamed. I collapsed on tha grass, rollin inta a ball again. "Get Bliss outta here! Get him out, before I contaminate him, too!"

I heard tha murmur of voices an' footsteps movin away. In a minute I felt a hand on my back. I didn't even hafta look ta know who it was. I was gettin ta know tha feel of those hands. "Go 'way, Cupe. Ya don't really need me. Ya can get those two back tagethah again without my help." I laughed, an' it was a little hysterical. "Help! Oh, geez. I help like a broken ankle helps an Etruscan dancer."

He started ta pull me inta his arms, an' I tried ta fight him off, an' I didn't have any bettah luck than I'd had any othah time. I ended up layin against his chest with my head tucked inta tha crook of his neck. "I'm sorry, Strife, but he just didn't understand how harmful his treatment has been."

"But he didn't know. He didn't do any of it."

"You were under his protection, and he knew Cezanno wanted to hurt you, he just didn't know how much. And he sent you to him, helpless. Ignorance is a poor excuse, Strife. He should have known his own warlord well enough to know the dangers."

I sighed. "Cupe, ya gotta get Zeus an' Hera ta cut me loose from this an' let me go back ta tha way I was."

He was rubbin my neck, an' his voice was soft. "I don't want to."

I looked up at him. I had ta make him understand. "Don'tcha see, Cupe? I... I'm dangerous. I managed ta keep all that poison inside me for years, so that tha rest of tha world was safe. Then my guard slipped, an' it got ta you. You're gonna have those images an' those feelins inside ya forevah, unless maybe ya can talk tha Fates inta doin some fancy weavin. An' now ya accidentally passed it ta Ares. What happens if he accidentally passes it ta Joxer? It could shock that baby right outta him, an' he may be immortal, but there's no guarantee about tha baby, since it'll be a demigod. An' Bliss. How can ya let me stay around Bliss when ya know what I did?"

"What you did?" Cupid took my chin in his hand an' stared inta my eyes. "Strife, what you did was suffer, and survive. You're so strong."

"Strong? Cupe, I screamed like a girl."

"No, you screamed like a man being tortured beyond endurance."

"I... I did everythin he told me to." Cupe started ta say somethin, an' I interupted. "Yeh, I know. Tha compellin spell. But... but I woulda done it anyway." I remembered tha smell of my own flesh burnin when he scorched his name across my back. "I offered ta do things he didn't even ask for, if he'd just stop hurtin me."

"That's how anyone would have reacted, Strife. Anyone. Hercules. Me. Dad. Anyone. That sort of pain, physical and emotional... It breaks things inside."

I was quiet. "Yah. Ya know, that's kinda how I've felt evah since then. Like I was fulla broken glass, an' it was gonna punch its way through my skin at any minute an' slash whoevah was close."

"Is that why you haven't let anyone get close to you?"

I shrugged an' stated tha obvious. "Cupe, nobody has exactly tried."

"I'm trying."

I looked at him, puzzled. "Yah, you are. Why is that?"

He smiled at me an' said quietly, "Because I'm in love with you."