NOT SAILOR MOON, BUT....: PART 2:


ShakespeareHemmingway's Garfield


...I figured it would be a good idea to separate this from the very bad fanfic section, because...well.

Starting several years ago, the mysterious ShakespeareHemmingway appeared on Fanfiction.Net, bringing with them their strange stories about Garfield the cat. Only, when ShakespeareHemmingway wrote about Garfield, he wrote about Garfield being a MANLY MAN who saved the world, boned all the ladies, altered history for the better and generally went around being the most badass of badasses to ever walk the earth. With some odd grammar accompanying him.

Yes, I am well aware that these fanfics are very likely the product of a troll. And yes, I am also aware that several of these fanfics have real people in them. However, while I generally do have RPS off-limits, I also realize it would likely be a crime against humanity to deprive the people of things like Prince William commanding a laser-spewing Big Ben, or Aston Kutcher summoning a four-headed dragon while trying to become immortal. Such over the top goofy antice would be a shame to lose should Fanfiction.net ever go down. And no, I will not be doing comments for these fanfics. They speak for themselves.

Also, like the other non-Sailor Moon page, you'll notice these have no stars. Again, this is not because they are for children, but rather, because all of them have scenes not recommended for children (even if the author rated them T). So basically, THIS ENTIRE PAGE is hereby designated as an over-18 section. It is STRONGLY RECOMMENDED that children under 18 DO NOT continue, or click on ANY story links.









Garfield: Maximum Speed

1 2 3


PLOT: Garfield steps up to the plate to save the children of the world from the evil Lasagna Bomber and his even eviller overlord!
NEW CHARACTERS: Random bad guy biker wizards
RATING: T
THE DEFINING QUOTE: "I am the federal department of motorcycles and your lifecense is been revoked!!" Declared Garfield as he dropped kicked the biker wizard into oblivion.




Garfield: First Blood Series

Part 1
Part 2: Forever Fist


PLOT: Garfield goes out to save his beloved Natalie Portman from various evils!
NEW CHARACTERS: Vampire gangsters, four-headed dragon
RATING: T
THE DEFINING QUOTE: Authors Note: Congratulations to Natalie Portman for her pregnancies! Please beware and do not let Ashton Kutcher kidnap your babies. Also I am still single so it is still ok if you would like to date me.




Garfield: Zero Prejudice

Click here to read


PLOT: Garfield
NEW CHARACTERS: Evil New Zealanders, random child
RATING: T
THE DEFINING QUOTE: "Haha you will never defeat us, racism is our ally and prejudice is our coach." Said the New Zealands filled with stereotyping pride.




Gilmore Garfield: Boy Trouble

Click here to read


PLOT: Rory Gilmore meets the man of her dreams. But is Garfield really all that he seems?
NEW CHARACTERS: N/A
RATING: T
THE DEFINING QUOTE: The imposter Garfield removed his Garfield mask to reveal he was really Odie!




Garfield: Sheen Instincts

Click here to read


PLOT: Charlie Sheen has quit Two and a Half Men, and only Garfield can persuade him to come back!
NEW CHARACTERS: N/A
RATING: T
THE DEFINING QUOTE: "Yes, Thank you for waterboarding me Garfield." Said Charlie Sheen with gratitude.




Garfield Fighter: World Tournament

Click here to read


PLOT: M. Bison challenges Garfield to enter the World Tournament. Naturally, Garfield obliges him.
NEW CHARACTERS: N/A
RATING: T
THE DEFINING QUOTE: "I AM PSYHCO POWERED SAGAT WITH THE PYSHCO POWER I WILL AVENGE MY SCAR." Cried out Psycho powered Sagat.




Garfield in the City
by balzo

Click here to read


PLOT: Garfield meets the girls from Sex in the City. What will happen?
NEW CHARACTERS: N/A
RATING: T
THE DEFINING QUOTE:> "I could sure use some Lasagna." Said Garfield as he walked off into the sunset.




The Good, the Bad, and the Garfield

Click here to read


PLOT: Garfield teams up with Jon Marston to stop some evil bandits!
NEW CHARACTERS: Evil coyotes
RATING: T
THE DEFINING QUOTE:> "I will never retired. My favorite foods are lasagna and the blood of the wicked." Said Garfield with heroism.




High School Garfield

Click here to read


PLOT: Garfield goes to High School Musical and help Gabriella against Sharpay and Troy!
NEW CHARACTERS: ...zombies
RATING: T
THE DEFINING QUOTE: "Garfield there are zombies!" Cried out Sharpay with panic.




The Garfield Network

Click here to read


PLOT: Garfield helps Mark Zuckerberg create Facebook - but will Mark Zuckerberg betray him for money and women?
NEW CHARACTERS: N/A
RATING: T
THE DEFINING QUOTE: "Friend this." Said Garfield as he tossed the missiles at Mark Zuckerbergs Apache helicopter sending him crashing into the street.




Garfield: Royal Rescue

Part 1
Part 2: Prince of Tragedy


PLOT: Garfield must fight the evil royal princes to save Kate Middleton and all of England!
NEW CHARACTERS: Random guards
RATING: T
THE DEFINING QUOTE: "Tick Tock it is 12 o'clock. Time to die!" Said Prince William with mocking words.




Garfield Effect: Galaxy Adventure

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18


PLOT: Garfield is defrosted by Cerberus, and he teams up with Commander Shepard's crew to save the galaxy.
NEW CHARACTERS: Random enemies
RATING: T
THE DEFINING QUOTE: "I respect three things, Strength, justice, America and Lasagna." Said Garfield with heart.




Garfield Effect: Galaxy Adventure

Click here to read


PLOT: Garfield must teach George VI how to speak in this touching adaptation.
NEW CHARACTERS: Random enemies
RATING: T
THE DEFINING QUOTE: "Time for escalator escape!" Shouted out doppelganger Neville Chamberlain as he escaped up Escalator to Nazi Zeppelin.




Garfield: King of Liberty

Click here to read


PLOT: A most American patriot named Garfield defends liberty and lasagna so that America might be founded!
NEW CHARACTERS: Random enemies
RATING: T
THE DEFINING QUOTE: It was Jon Arbuckle riding on Bald Eagle and carrying the liberty bell!









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Sailor Moon and related characters are copyrighted ©1991-2007 Naoko Takeuchi.