by Billiards Heart/machikel
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PLOT: Join Kousagi, aka Sailor Parallel Moon, the original sailor soldiers, and several new friends as they battle various villains!
NEW CHARACTERS:Kiusako aka Sailor Earth; Anna aka Sailor Star; Lutina aka Sailor Kurozuki; Tari aka Sailor Virago; Sailor Tsukineko; Soleil Lunere aka Sailor Sun; Pendrell, Secil, Christensen, Steve, Secil, Finn, Merrill, Groce Jr. Nebekker, Callister, and Alice; Valsurania; Drana aka Sailor "Menard"; etc. etc. etc.
LENGTH: 109058 words (as of chapter 49)
RATING:PG-NC-17; varies by chapter
COMMENTS: Given the amount of Parallel Sailor Moon information out there - rather, the lack of it, as it only featured as an insert in the Materials Collection - one wouldn't think that Parallel Sailor Moon badifc exists. Even in a place like Fanfiction.Net, there is less than a miniscule handful of fanfiction even featuring Kousagi, the parallel-universe, food-inhaling, lavendar-haired second daughter of Usagi and Mamoru. Surely, with that type of story, the potential for nothing but goodfic would be rife, as very few people actually know of the character, let alone write about her. For all the hopes one would have for nothing but quality fanfiction, one would be utterly wrong. In fact, one would find one of the worst badfics written in the past several years - and, without a doubt, the worst Parallel Sailor Moon fanfic out there. Welcome to Parallel Sailor Moon Fanfic, by a review-phobic author who wrote an entire section on his website on how to respond to "negative" (aka critical) reviewers. It's no wonder people would be so critical of his opus.
This one has an amazing amount of wrongness: we not only have a wizard Stu (Kiusako, a male who usurps Mamoru as Sailor Earth), but also a Sue (Anna, his girlfriend), at one of whom must be around each episode or else the enemy can't be beaten. There's more; we have a very incoherent plot where apparently "political correctness" and fanfic reviews are the weapons of the enemy; we have pointless cameos from Helios to Saitou to a now-human Rhett Butler (yes, we mean the cat) ;we have a cornocopia of revenge Sues and Stus of fanfic reviewers, website owners, and other real life people (Notable names include Drakester, Hitsuji Kinno and Kihin Ranno) as the bad guys. (Heck, I even get my throat slit in Chapter 56! But don't worry, I got better.) We have chapters ranging from kid-friendly to hentai, not wise if the story is intended to be for the Sailor Moon fandom at large.
But wait, there's more: we also an insta-pregnancy for both Michiru and Haruka. akin to that of Ikuko's in Spin the Bottle, but worse because the progeny is Sadako from Ringu (I am NOT making this up) and the Akayashi sisters move into the Grudge house. We have a songfic of Nickelback, but in this universe its "written" by "Quarter Evolution", an evil band. There's an apparent aversion to all fat people, since many of the monsters - at least ten of them by my count - turn into repulsive, earth-shaking, stereotypical obese humans in at least one of their forms. We even have very poorly done cameos by - among others - Naoko Takeuchi (armed with a "return to society punch" and all) and Yoshihiro Togashi, as well as all of the SM seiyuus and even the poor dead spirit of Shiho Niiyama (who is probably rolling in her gave at the "unfinished business" her soul apparently has), futher blurring the plot's line between unmitigated confusion and utter absurdity. We also have countless, pointless crossovers, and about a fourth of the later chapters have locations and plot ideas lifted wholesale from Final Fantasy XII.
Heck, Kousagi doesn't even really feature much in this fanfiction. Nor are her soldiers from the original story, who aren't even actually mentioned until very, very far into the story. Instead, we have a fanfic about how much the author clearly doesn't like fanfic reviewers, other fanfic writers, fat people, and women in general, Kiusako and Anna's sex life, pointless and unfunny sexual references and graphic sex scenes, and almost nothing about the actual Sailor Moon canon. It is apparent that the author was just bitter and didn't give a shit - much to the chagrin of those looking for that rare Parallel Sailor Moon fanfiction, who will end up finding this exceedingly shoddy work. For it is a work that would truly make Kousagi cry.
Sailor Moon and related characters are copyrighted ©1991-2006 Naoko Takeuchi.
