Day One Hundred Thirty Seven: Cheese Day
Now Playing: Yep, same episode (Ming Lei!)
"Does cheese really give you nightmares? Find out by eating 100 oz. of one of the ofllowing and recording your dreams."

That's a LOT of cheese. I considered buying a pack of American cheese and eating it slice by slice, in the ways of Homer Simpson in the past. I didn't though. I have been working on the pictured block of cheese for a week though. On Tuesday, it was four times that size. Ah yeah.

The week ahead:
138 - Knot Day
139 - Blood Day
140 - Crank Call Day
141 - Birdnest Day
142 - Sense-less Day #3
143 - Friendship Coupons Day
144 - Men Only Day

Day One Hundred Thirty Six: Parents Day
Now Playing: Sucky sucky five dolla!
"Today make sure your parents know you love them. It may seem impossible to say. But don't wait until it is."

Easy enough, and true. Mom, Dad... love you both!

And next, it's Day One Hundred Thirty Seven... Cheese Day! Yes!

Day One Hundred Thirty Five: Subtext Day
Now Playing: still Cow Days (
"Today read between the lines as people talk to you."

I always read between the lines. That's probably not a good thing. And yeah, this is a ripoff. Ripoff! Shenanigans!

Next, it's Day One Hundred Thirty Six... Parents Day!

Day One Hundred Thirty Four: Hacking Day
Now Playing: South Park (Cow Days episode)
"Today hack into a computer network. Hacking is a useful and potentially lucrative hobby. All you need is a computer connected to the internet and a few hours to spare. Here are some popular sites to hack into: www.pentagon.com, www.whitehouse.gov, www.federalreserve.gov.org, www.microsoft.com, www.starbucks.com.

Yeah, you KNOW I didn't try to hack. Shenanigans! Despite all of the tips given, there's no way. I couldn't even figure out how to get a new digital camera to work tonight. I did, however, fit snugly on a grocery store merry-go-round. That has to count for something.

Tomorrow, it's Day One Hundred Thirty Five... Between The Lines Day!

R.I.P.
This Blog Will Change Your Life, we hardly knew ye. Thanks for all of the entertainment, Ant (and Emma and Ryan when you were there).

Dave One Hundred Thirty Three: New Color Day
"In 1957, French painter Yves Klein invented and patented an especially intense ultramarine blue pigment, International Klein Blue, shown here. Today, dream up a new color of your own, and contact your lawyers."

I just saw an ad in the phone book while looking up what the name of our airport was for my former gifted teacher who apparently doubles as a lawyer. That is mas scary if you know the woman.

Anyway. New color. Hmm. Maybe a blend of red and pink and yellow, which is probably a shade of orange. Dang it.

Tomorrow, Day One Hundred Thirty Four... Hacking Day!

Day One Hundred Thirty Two: Lucky Number Day
"Today we can reveal that your lucky number is: 12. Now capitalize on your lucky number."

I didn't exactly follow any of the suggestions here (lottery ticket, but on a horse, buy a house at #12). Besides, my lucky number is plainly seven. Duh. The hypnotic red and black page can't fool me!

Next, Day One Thirty Three... New Color Day!

Day One Hundred Thirty One: Hierarchy Day
"Defy hierarchy today. Don't just accept society's rules. Talk back. Stand up, be the cog that clogs up the machine."

Let's see how I can do with the four authority figures here.

THE BOSS
Well, I'm not usually defying the boss too much. My immediate supervisor, the GM, I defy somewhat. We're pretty much on an equal level, and she knows that usually when I have an idea, it's a good one, so that's okay. The boss above that, our area coordinator, is cool with me for the most part. The one above that, our district manager... not so much. Only met her once though, and defying isn't a good first impression.

THE LAW
Right. Because I like jail.

THE TEACHER
"You listen here, Mr. Algebra Teacher! THIS C IS UNACCEPTABLE! GIVE ME A B! NOW!" And I still got a C. Freakin' A.

YOUR FAMILY
I've barely seen my family in the last week, so no defying here.

Next, another exciting day of not doing the task, Day One Hundred Thirty Two, Lucky Number Day!

Day One Hundred Thirty: Local Newspaper Day
"Today write a letter to your local newspaper to achieve a high profile in your community."

I already have somewhat of a high profile in my community. Everywhere I go, it's "Hey! You're the bookstore guy!" Yes, I *am* the bookstore guy. Thank you for reminding me. Ugh.

And I'm not even kidding. I can't go to Wal-Mart anymore without somebody knowing me. It's a curse.

Next up, it'll be wickety wack because it's Day One Hundred Thirty One and Hierarchy Day, yo!

Day One Hundred Twenty Nine: Blessings Day
"Count your blessings. In the great hubbub of life, we often forget to pause and consider how lucky we are. Today, assess this scientifically."

And by scientifically, by using the scoring sheet here. Let's roll.

Are you alive? Yes - 10 of 10
Are you in good health? Yes - 9 of 9
Do you have regular sex? No - 0 of 6
Do you have children? No - 0 of 3 per child, -3 for naughty child
Do you have a roof over your head? 5 of 5
Can you feed yourself and your family? Yes - 5 of 5
Do you have a steady job? 3 of 3
Are you free from racial or sexual discrimination? 5 of 5
Is your country currently at peace? 0 of 6 (ha - -99999 of 6)
Is your country well away from any geographical fault lines? Are we? 0 of 6 since I don't know
Are your parents still alive? 4 of 4
Are you still on speaking terms with them? 4 of 4
Have you found God? technically yes, but I lost him/her/it somewhere... 0 of 3
Have you found yourself? 1 of 2
Are your bowel movements regular? 8 of 8
Were you born into one of the richer social classes? 0 of 5
Are you a born optimist? 6 of 6
Are you a born pessimist? 0 of -6
Do you have a sense of humor? 1 of 1

TOTAL: 61

"If you have scored more than 40 points, you are luckier than 90% of the human race. Congratulations."

Well hot dog. Consider my blessings counted.

Tomorrow, Day One Hundred Thirty... Local Newspaper Day!