Day One Hundred Twenty Four: Parrot Day
If you're coming here from the journal and looking for my - ahem - good artwork, it's below this entry. Progress continues, you know.

"Today buy a parrot and train it to say some unpalatable truth that you cannot voice yourself in society."

So I bought a parrot, right? I named him Wally. I tried for "We're all gonna die!" Wally wouldn't say it. I couldn't understand! Speak, Wally, speak! After hours of trying, I figured it out.

This parrot is no more. It has ceased to be. It is an ex-parrot.

Tomorrow, it's Day One Hundred Twenty Five... Your Stars Day!

The week ahead, for the curious:
125 - Your Stars Day
126 - Consumer Rights Day
127 - Office Gossip Day
128 - New Fruit Day
129 - Blessings Day
130 - Local Newspaper Day
131 - Hierarchy Day

Day One Hundred Twenty Three: Emergency First Aid Procedure Day
Now Playing: 'I'm Gone' by Alison Krauss + Union Station
"Today learn an emergency first aid procedure."

Well, there's nothing *I* can really do here but learn. I can't really practice it on anyone. So learn with me, and together we shall all save lives!

I did, however, use my extremely great artistic ability to draw out how to save lives. Thank me later. Apologies if it takes forever to load.

Clearly Timmy here is in a lot of pain. It's pretty obvious, I think. Our problem is ACUTE APPENDICTIS, which includes symptoms such as pain in the lower right abdomen, nausea, loss of appetite, and vomiting.

Thankfully, Sara was walking through the room at the time and heard Timmy's desperate call for help (or desperate plea for attention). She's not a doctor, but thanks to TBWCYL, she can help.

The first step is to anaesthesize the patient. Timmy is almost out of it, as seen here. Make sure you wait until he's totally out.

Make an incision in the lower right abdomen. (Alternate caption: Watch as tulips magically grow out of his stomach.)

Hey, you try drawing an appendix right on the first try.

Pull appendix out (left) and tie it at its base (right). Note: appendix may not look like balloon when tied.

Remove the appendix and throw it away. For an extra challenge, try to find a garbage can that's almost as tall as you are.

Suture the incision.

We should stop at this point to warn you of possible complications, which I did not draw: If the appendix has ruptured, clean out with a warm saline solution, insert drain through incision to allow pus to drain out of abdomen, leave skin open but pack with sterile gauze and leave in place until pus is drained and there is no sign of infection. If abdomen is too infected to locate appendix, treat with antibiotics before removing. Do not attempt this procedure unless you are a quialified surgeon, and even then think twice about it.

Maybe it's best I didn't draw the complications, with the pus and all. AND YOU'RE DONE! Another successful open appendectomy!

Tomorrow is Day One Hundred Twenty Four, which we all know is Parrot Day!

Oops - this one got misplaced... Day One Hundred Eightteen: Snooper Day
"Snooper alert!"

Basically, it's a message where you fill in stuff for potential snoopers to read. This isn't really necessary here, as I've had one human besides myself even enter my apartment in the past month. But nevertheless, because I'm a devoted Book-follower (though, had I written it, it would have correct grammar and punctuation):

Dear Snooper:

I know you are snooping in my Book, you have had guilt written all over your stupid face for the last few weeks, this is what I think of you if you really must know:

Next up, Day One Hundred Nineteen: Sense-less Day #2!

Days One Hundred Twenty One and One Hundred Twenty Two: No TV Weekend
Now Playing: 'Cats Are *****' by Triumph, The Insult Comic Dog
"The publishers of the Book have arranged a deal with news organizations and world leaders whereby nothing of real importance will happen this weekend, so you can feel at ease giving your remote a break. Instead, here are some pre-TV era activities that will feel a lot more wholesome."

Someone apparently forgot to tell The President about this, as we continue with more deaths.

This entry is easy. I have no cable, antenna, or satellite hooked up to the TV. DVDs and video games, yes. No cable. Piece of cake!

Tomorrow, we'll all learn as a part of Day One Hundred Twenty Three... Emergency First Aid Procedure Day!

Day One Hundred Twenty: No Money Day
Now Playing: 'Short Skirt/Long Jacket' by Cake
"Don't spend any money today."

Come on now, quit with the impossible tasks! I bought lunch somewhere, I'm sure. Actually this was Friday, so no... a coworker did. I bought dinner though.

Next, it's a duo of days, Days One Hundred Twenty One and One Hundred Twenty Two, and the event that is No TV Weekend!

Day One Hundred Nineteen: Sense-less Day #2
Now Playing: The Essex Green, who I'm really digging
"Go through today without the using of your sense of: hearing. How to: Wax ear plugs, available at any drug store."

This was impossible on whatever day it happened, because I either had to work - which involves customer service and pretty constant hearing - or school, which involved learning, which involved hearing. Oh well.

Next up, it's Day One Hundred Twenty... No Money Day!

Day One Hundred Seventeen: Me Day
"Today is all about me, myself and I, looking after number one, and sticking up for oneself. Be selfish. Don't give up your seat to the little old lady. Eat the last cookie. Park in the disabled space. Play with your kids' favorite toys. Shout out your own name during sex."

Well, the only one of those there's an opportunity for is the disabled space. For those of you who know me, I park at least halfway back in the parking lot. It makes sense to me. Everybody else is fighting for the first ten parks. You have to wait for people to walk behind you when you pull out. You usually have to spend five minutes finding a park, and two more waiting for it. Me, I park halfway back. No wait. I can pull right out and leave. I'm parked and unparked faster than everyone else. And really, how lazy are you when you don't want to walk farther than three parks from the store?

I'm so the last person to have a day all about them. I did, however, learn that I married a coworker under weird circumstances in somewhat odd attire today at some point in the past, so one point for me.

Seven up (the Spot game was the greatest NES game ever, by the way):
Day 118: Snooper Day
Day 119: Sense-less Day #2
Day 120: No Expenses Day
Day 121 & 122: No TV Weekend
Day 123: Emergency First Aid Procedure Day
Day 124: Parrot Day

Day One Hundred Sixteen: Siesta Day
Now Playing: 'Here Comes The Sun' (see, my radio station on Launch is too good!)
"Today place this sign on your door handle."

The sign: "HI! I am currently experimenting with the concept of siesta. Therefore any issues, no matter how important, will have to wait to be brought before me between the hours of 11 am and 3 pm. If I like this I will start doing it every day. PS: A light lunch would be great when I wake up."

I put it up. It did me no good, as I was at work between the hours of 11 and 3 yesterday. Such is life.

Special note on the bottom of the page! "ATTENTION! Forward planning: Book your vacation now for the week of Day 205. This year, you are going to France. Mais oui!"

Woohoo! France!

Up next, Day One Hundred Seventeen: Me Day!

Day One Hundred Fifteen: Above The Law Day
Now Playing: 'Just a Pill'
"Today use this exclusive pass to violate a law of your choice."

Well, for one thing, the guy on the pass looks like "Macho Man" Randy Savage (the tower of power too sweet to be sorry, funky like a monkey).

Basically, this gives me the right to break one law. I... um... didn't use my turn signal once, I'm sure. Sounds like something I'd do, but only in a careful situation (like a parking lot... I'm liking the two working turn signals thing I have going on now with the new ride).

Tomorrow is what we like to call Day One Hundred Sixteen, Siesta Day!

Day One Hundred Fourteen: Banana Day
Now Playing: 'Cry'
"Today: tattoo a banana and display it on your windowsill. (Scrape its skin with a sharp inplement and watch it go black in minutes!)"

I would, but two problems.

1. No bananas.

2. I just went on an ant-killing rampage last night. I try not to leave food out for them, really. They might carry off the cat or something.

Up next, Day One Hundred Fifteen: Above The Law Day!