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 My Life at Home

My double life was merging into  one miserable life.  I had decided to try to make my marriage work.  I wanted to rekindle our love, but  my feelings for my husband had dwindled down to a brotherly love.  . I started to believe that perhaps I never loved him .  Max was good to me, but he lacked any ability to romance me.    I would often reflect on my youth and how I got involved with this man that I accepted as a husband. 

He was a good person, but his constant fawning was irritating to me. If he wanted to have intimate conversation he would wait until I went to bed.  I would be half asleep and he would start to ask me how my day was.  It was irritating .  Why did he wait to talk to me when I was half asleep, why not an hour or so before.  Still it appeared that  I could do no wrong  in his eyes, and if I did it was never brought  to my attention. I tested his integrity at all levels and he was always the same; never wavering on how he felt about me.  I was not madly in love with him, but I did love him.  He had proven to me that he would always be there for me, no matter what. I had revealed all aspects of my personality to him and he was still willing to stay by my side. I other hand had lost respect for him.

I married him because I heard a voice in my head that said, "Who else is going to put with you as he has?"  I took it as a sign from God that I should marry him.  It made sense to me that I should marry someone that knew me as I was, and still wanted to be with me.   I never gave thought to whether  I was in  love or not.  The idea of his acceptance was enough for me to marry him

Later in life I questioned that voice. Was it God or was it my low self esteem trying to convince me that no one else would have me?  I convinced myself that it was the voice of  low self esteem.  Truly that's what it was because now I had this very desirable man in my life, I thought.

I had always been very frank with Max,  and  I didn't do roundabouts with him.  I was straight forward with my thinking and my plans.  He was never in doubt about how I felt because I always made myself very clear. He was not a jealous man nor a man that demanded a lot from me. I was free to come and go as I pleased, but I knew my responsibility towards him and our household. My husband trusted me and had no reason to doubt me.

...

In the beginning it  was a pleasant existence  with my husband, he worked I stayed home with the kids.  I busied myself  with  the kids and working on renovating our home. Being home day in and day out was making feel frumpy and I didn't like it. 

My husband encouraged me to get an outside hobby.  I was desperate to find something to do.  He was consumed by his own hobbies and had little time for me.   I was lonely and  he was complacent in our marriage.  The perfect combination for disaster.

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