I realized this is the biggest advertisement I ever made for myself. Beside that I always wanted to make a web site for my daughter, and my family, this site is motivated solely for the use with programs like ICQ, PalTalk and MSN. I am fed up, living in this hole called The Hague, The Netherlands, and not meeting the kind of women I want. I am used to travel a lot, and most of the relationships I have had were with foreign women. I don't want to get into the negative aspect of not being able to travel a lot anymore; basically this is because of my beautiful daughter, I don't want to miss her, but focus on a way to meet her, the woman I am looking for.
So I am going to talk about myself. I decided not to make it only this beautiful picture, nor a sad sad story. Every house has it's cross. And both ways, my life has been a great success, and a road full of bumps, not talking about the little ones. Real bumps. Those bumps have shaped my life, roughened me up, made me more understanding, but also more clear in what I want, and don't want.
I think I had an extraordinary life. My basic motivation was getting out of my limitations, which were holding me back in the pursuit of getting a successful life. I became a seeker for truth. I dared myself to many edges, fears, believes and convictions. For years I copied people, walking behind them on the street, feeling and thinking what they were feeling and thinking. I wanted to know the different aspects from which this existence is being experienced. I was hoping to grow to a point which was no more into duality, free from the boundaries of separatism from the truth, the one truth.
I meditated for 8 years. One hour a day. Vipassana. I accepted Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh (OSHO) as my master, and made a vow never to lie to myself anymore. In my travels to India I have been in the presence of him, and many other guides and masters. I came to the point that sitting in this lotus position, I was a Buddha, but walking, I was not. I am vulnerable, human, not all powerful, not held up into the light. I am a man with needs, weaknesses, dreams and basically so in love with my self, that that point in which the total let go is happening, it left me time and time again.
Here I am, just another man, with a mountain of knowledge, not out of books, but out of experience. As I can not lie, I can not accept a lie in my relationships. My nature will put it's finger in the wound until it is into the light. Many of my girlfriends had no joy in this, although I think, after being with me, they had grown. A bit more. I treat another not different than I treat myself, and as an old saying says; 'soft healers make stinking wounds'. This is the lesser appreciated part of me.
The better is; I like to laugh. I have a witty kind of humor, sharp, intelligent, and very funny (I think) It's either you fit with me, or you don't. I find this extremely important. laughter is so cleaning, and transforming. I need that in my partner.
I am no monk. And no saint. I can have my moments, but bottom line, I am just a guy, a boy with his toys. I have fought, loved, reeled and dealed, did things the light of day can't have, and enjoyed the luxury of money, the pleasures of traveling and sex. I am sensitive, to the point that I could be an excellent healer, knowing the places in the body and mind. But I have said to myself, never to become dependent on helping others, thus experiencing the loneliness and absence of the love I know that could be here. I want my love, my mate, my wife. I want a team spirit in freedom and light. I want a mother, a wife, a friend and a child in her. I am looking for something special. An angel in disguise...
I know there must be a possibility for having a relationship without games, lies and deceit. A relation based on honesty, self knowledge and creativity.... yes?
I hope this gives a bit of a picture of me.
haha. I could write a book, but try me.
My major interest is human growth. Human Growth. Computers. My work as an exhibits and decor builder.
My major interest is human growth.
My work as an exhibits and decor builder.