Tuesday, March 8, 2005

I LIKE THE CUT OF YOUR GIBBERISH, FRIEND

Been playing KOTOR and watching Deadwood. KOTOR II still hasn’t shown up, and the mail didn’t bring me anything worth talking about today. I still haven’t had any notification email regarding my case of Legacy. And the weekend dwindles by the minute… this time tomorrow, I’ll be back at work, my boss should have left for the day, and if the gods are kind to me, the one other bitch on my team I hate the most won’t be doing any overtime, so she’ll be gone, too. (If she is doing overtime, I’ll have to put up with her until 8 p.m., which isn’t anything I ever look forward to.)

But leave that, leave that… I don’t have to deal with it for a little while yet.

Today’s paper carried a snide review of Bochco’s new Blind Justice TV show. The reviewer seems to feel that the concept of a blinded detective still investigating street crimes, and carrying a gun on the job, is absurd and stupid. He’s probably right, but he seems to me to be missing the point. The idea of a blind dectective still on the street, trying to overcome his disability, is the central conflict of the show. I suppose that criticizing the central concept of a show is valid, but that’s all this guy did for several hundred words. There was no real indication as to whether or not, if one is willing to accept the central premise on at least a probationary basis, the show has any other merit… good dialogue, decent characterization, whatever. Just ‘this guy is blind, and he’s got a gun!’. Over and over.

It could well be a bad show. Bochco throws some out there. Personally, as I’ve said before, I wish he’d re-think canceling NYPD Blue, since the new set up is fascinating and I think could easily be grist for another ten seasons of good cop drama. Still, if I remember and I’m not doing anything else, I’ll try to check it out tonight and see for myself… although I can already smell cancellation fumes coming off the project in waves.

As another note, I had been struggling to place the actor playing the central character on Blind Justice every time I watched a preview for the show, but it wasn’t until I read the review in the paper that I realized its Ron Eldard, whom I loathed on ER and who hasn’t done much of anything I could tolerate since then, either. That realization also takes down my expectations regarding the show several notches, and I need only whisper the phrase Brooklyn South to myself to get a quick, very painful memory of just how disappointing a Steven Bochco cop show can be. Still, I’ll check it out.

I believe I mentioned not receiving any email notification regarding when to expect my case of Legacy as yet. Fortunately, IconUSA is considerate enough to have a toll free number, so I called them up yesterday and inquired about it. I was told I might have it today, and didn’t take that at all seriously. Still, when the UPS truck came and went around 1 without leaving me anything (I can always hear it go by; the big engine has a very distinctive reverberation), I called Icon again. The man on the other end looked up my order for me, gave me a tracking number, and advised me it was out to be delivered today.

Which is just the kind of luck I have. So I went back to watching Deadwood, knowing full well that it wouldn’t get here until tomorrow, long after I left for work, and I’d have to hassle around with trying to get it redelivered early on Thursday… meaning I’d most likely get a thundering knock on the door around 9 a.m.

So I’m finishing up the ep where they put the guy who killed Wild Bill Hickock on trial, and there’s a thundering knock on my door, and, what do you know? I did, I did, I DID get my case of Legacy today.

I was hoping it boded well when the very first booster I opened contained arguably the most sought after figure in the set (perhaps in the game as it is right now) the 275 point Ares Unique. The same booster yielded up a rookie Sinestro, which seemed fortunate indeed, as it’s only the rookie who has the coveted Green Lantern Corps Team Ability.

The second Unique I drew was Hush. I haven’t even looked at his dial; it’s unlikely he could be such a good piece as to overcome my intense distaste for a storyline in which a bad writer makes up yet another really close childhood friend of some hero’s who has grown up with a pathological hatred of him and become a supervillain to gain vengeance. Of all the Uniques in the set, this one is probably the one I wanted the least. I’ve have taken that ugly damned KC Hawkman and been happier with it than I am with this lousy piece of Hush plastic. Finding one of the 8 Unique slots in my case taken up with this was not a happy moment for me at all. I’d have rather had a frickin’ Mongul, and I loathe Mongul to pieces.

From that point forward, the case seemed to be, for the most part, a disappointment. Oh, I got a few of the pieces I really wanted, but it seems to me I came far closer to having a complete REV set when I was done opening my case of Mutant Mayhem than with this one.

My biggest disappointment, though, and it’s a fairly profound one, and seems to settle definitively any idea I might have had that I was ‘lucky’ in buying cases, is: I got two doubles on Uniques. Yes, out of my 8 Uniques in this case, I got 2 different double sets. Which figs did I get doubles of? Well, I got 2 Ares, which is annoying but okay, as I’m sure I’ll be able to trade the extra one for something cool.

I also got 2 rashen frashen fricken FRACKen Hushes.

Grrrrrrrrrrr…

Instead of getting 8 Uniques, I got 6, and one of those 6 was probably the one piece in the set I wanted the least.

The other four Uniques I got were Red Robin, Oracle, Wonder Woman, and KC Flash.

I haven’t taken KC Flash out of his packaging, as I’m definitely willing to trade him off, along with both goddam worthless piece of shit Hush figs. The other three Uniques, along with Ares, I’m happy to have.

So, out of 8 Uniques in the set, I ended up with 4 I wanted. That’s a big yay.

In Ultra-Rares, I got Roy Harper, Desmond somebody or other (Blockbuster), the Red Hood, and Jennifer-Lynn Hayden. The Jenny Lynn piece I’ll probably keep, as she has the same TA (JSA) as the rookie Jade, and looks to be an improvement. The others are also all trade fodder.

In REVs, I’m missing the following:

Vets – Batman, Demon, Hourman, Kid Flash, and Sinestro.

Experienced – Joker, Captain Atom, Major Force, Power Girl, Kid Quantum

I’d like all the Vets, although I can live without Headless Batman if I need to, given that his sculpt sucks and WizKids saw fit to cripple him this time around by removing his Incapacitate on all but his last couple of clicks. The rest of them, however, are just tooth-gnashingly irritating in their absence.

I don’t think I much care about the Experienced ones I’m missing, unless the Ex. Captain Atom has the JLA symbol on him, in which case, I’d like him for my Modern Age JLA set. Unless there is something truly remarkable about the stats on any of the others, I can live without them just fine.

I seem to have a complete Rookie set, and in terms of extras, well, I could fairly easily call this the Case of the Rookie Hourman, the Case of the Veteran Hyena, the Case of the Rookie Batman, or even the Case of the Veteran Superwoman. But I think The Case of the Double Hush just so neatly sums up my ultimate disgust with this particular box o’ plastic crack that I’ll leave it at that.

Oh, another look shows that I don’t actually have a complete set of rookies, I’m missing the (R ) Superwoman. Annoying.

As to Uniques, I’d like Ultraman, General Zod, Prometheus, and KC Green Lantern. I wouldn’t spit on KC Hawkman, just because I’m a completist, but I imagine I’m going to have to trade my KC Flash to get some stuff, and once I do, the KC Hawkman won’t loom as large for me. He’s a fairly crappy piece in addition to being a really ugly one, anyway.

In terms of pogs, I got 1.3 billion Ma Hunkles, a bunch of Harvey Bullocks (who is actually sorta useful, in a very low level team), a few Dr. Arkhams, a few Pie-Faces, a few Iris Allen-Wests.

Battlefield Conditions – I didn’t get a Deep Shadows, which is aggravating, as that’s a very useful card to build theme teams around. I got 3 Ordinary Days, 3 Bright Lights, 2 Radiation Leaks, 2 Overconfidence, and 1 Poor Teamwork (the last of which is about useless under my House Rules, and a good thing, too).

On Feat Cards, I got 4 Fortitudes, 3 Stunning Blows, 2 Damage Shields, 2 Large Objects, 2 In Contact With Oracles (which, given that I also got an Oracle Unique, almost makes up for two Ares, but doesn’t even come close to compensating me for TWO FUCKING HUSHES, goddamit), an Armor Piercing, a rotten lousy castrated stupid DC Trick Shot whose idiotic bowdlerized text guarantees I will never play with anything but the Marvel Trick Shot, and of course I will ignore moronic FAQ directives that indicate the Marvel Trick Shot is now played like the DC Trick Shot, too, and an incomprehensible Lazarus Pit I’d have more luck using if I put it out with the Spanish and French text upwards.

Having just gone out and arranged the pieces I want to put on display on the bookshelves in my living room in the appropriate places (I have JLA pieces in one place, Avengers in another, Fantastic Four in another, etc, etc, along with occasional appropriate hero/villain face offs, like Firestorm confronting Killer Frost and Hyena), I can say I am running out of space out there quickly. The Batman TA pieces, and the various Batman villains, are really starting to overcrowd their allotted space, as is the Legion, and don’t even get me started on that mob of JLA/JSA/Legion villains.

Okay. I’ve got HeroClix to put away, a trash bin overflowing with empty booster boxes and wrappings to carry back outside, and episodes of Deadwood to watch.

I hope everyone had a good Tuesday. Mine has been better than this entry’s generally pissy attitude indicates. I’m just really dreading going back to work tomorrow.

Oh, well…

RULES OF THE ROAD

In one of his many invaluable essays on life in Hollywood, Mark Evanier described his first meeting with legendary TV comic and icon Milton Berle. Upon being introduced to Uncle Miltie and shaking hands with him, Mark, who is a pretty witty guy, blurted out without even thinking about it, "Wow, I didn't recognize you in men's clothing". According to Mark, this soured Uncle Miltie on him from that point forward, because Mark had broken Rule Number One When Hanging With Milton Berle, namely, Never Be Funnier Than Milton Berle.

I'm reminded of that anecdote now.

Recent experiences at Electrolite being pretty much entirely similar if not completely identical to my previous experiences at Uppity-Negro.com and TampaTantrum.com, I thought I'd take the time to extrapolate whatever wisdom there is to find in the whole mess. Here's The Deal, as far as I can see:

If you want to make friends and influence people when you head out onto the blogging trail, at least, as regards your posting comments on other people's blogs, you MUST NOT:

Rule E comes mostly out of my experiences with Aaron Hawkin's Uppity-Negro blog. He gets a lot of female posters and like any of us male geeks would be in that admirable position, he is thoroughly whipped by them. If a new reader comes along and does anything whatsoever to offend the babes on Aaron's blog, that new reader can expect a cold shoulder from Aaron roughly the size of the Greenland glacier. I don't really blame Aaron for this; for a male geek, positive female attention is a jewel beyond price, and if I ever had any women posting to my blog who weren't related to me by marriage, I'd most likely dance and sing like a puppet on a string when they cracked the lash, too.

I should add to this that I've learned, from Electrolite, that one Must Not Be Whimsical, Oblique, or Overly Geeky When Posting To A Big Important Political Marketplace of Ideas Type Blog, because those guys just have no time for Theodore Marley Brooks or Cornelus van Lunt references, regardless of how amusing or entertaining you and some others may find them.

Now, I am posting this to point out that while these may be the universal Rules of the Road on other blogs (and as far as I can see, they are, indeed, pretty much universal) you can ignore them here. I don't care if you:

Oh, and I like geeky references and would just adore whimsical, cleverly elliptical posts to my comment threads, although I suspect I'd get annoyed if someone started posting a whole lot of Harry Potter-speak here, just for one example.

If there is a universal rule on this blog, it is quite simply, Do Not Be A Bigger Asshole Than The Blogger. In fact, if you can avoid it (and most of my small number of regular posters avoid it with style and panache) Don't Be An Asshole At All. I am quite a big enough asshole myself to supply all the assholiness necessary for any blog, and I will continue to keep this blog well furnished with stupid remarks, doltish mistakes, whiney rationalizations, and defensive recriminations by the ton lot, there can be no doubt. You need bring none of your own asshole nature with you, I have plenty and am always willing to share.

THE INEVITABLE DISCLAIMER

By generally accepted social standards, I'm not a likable guy. I'm not saying that to get cheap reassurances. It's simply the truth. I regard many social conventions in radically different ways than most people do, I have many many controversial opinions, and I tend to state them pretty forthrightly. This is not a formula for popularity in any social continuum I've ever experienced.

In my prior blogs, I took the fairly standard attitude: if you don't like my opinions or my blog, don't read the fucking thing.

Having given that some more thought, though, I'm not going to say that this time around, because I've realized that what this is basically saying is, 'if you don't like what I have to say, tough, I don't want to hear it, don't even bother to tell me, just go away'.

And that's actually a pretty worthless attitude. It's basically saying, 'I don't want to hear anything except unconditional agreement and approval'. And that's nonsense. This is still a free country... for a little while longer, anyway... and if you really feel you just gotta send me a flame, or post one on my comment threads (assuming they actually work, which I cannot in any way guarantee) then by all means, knock yourself out.

Unless your flame is exceptionally cogent, witty, or stylish, though, I will most likely ignore it. You do have a right to say anything you want (although I'm not sure that's a right when you're doing it in my comment threads, but hey, you can certainly send all the emails you want). However, I have an equal right not to read anything I don't feel like reading... and I'm really quick with the delete key... as various angry folks have found in the past, when they decided they just had to do their absolute level best to make me as miserable as possible.

So, if you don't like my opinions, feel free to say so. However, if I find absolutely nothing worthwhile in your commentary, I will almost certainly not respond to it in any way.

Stupidity, ignorance, intolerance... these things are only worth my time and attention if they're entertaining. So unless you can be stupid, ignorant, and/or intolerant with enough wit, style, and/or panache to amuse me... try to be smart, informed, and broad minded when you write me.