Our advice column is back and in full swing. Veronica Gross and Mike Tancredi are ready to help advise Generation X. In this months issue, Veronica and Mike dispense some very sound advise to two readers. One believes his mother is a racist and is boycotting his wedding because the bride just happens to be black. The other is an independant woman who doesn't want to lay down her career to be a stay at home mom. It's two different opinions (male and female) from two very wise sources.

Advice: On The Other Hand...
with Advice Columnists Veronica Gross and Mike Tancredi

Do you need some advice? Think that Veronica and Mike could help you see both sides of your situation? If so, you may send Veronica and Mike an email here.

Dear Mike and Veronica:

Is this the millennium or the stone ages? I am a white male in his late 20's. I met this amazing woman, Clare. We dated for almost a year and during that time we fell madly and deeply in love. Last Christmas, I asked her to marry me and she tearfully answered �yes.' She has only met my father the whole time we were dating because I moved 60 miles from my parent's home to take my current job. This was where I met Clare. They both seemed to hit it off great when they met and my father tells me that I met a great girl all the time. He was happy to hear about our engagement, however, my mother was not. Why? I believe it is because Clare is black.

I have never known my mother to be racist but she has been dead set against this engagement and marriage for the past four months. She refuses to be involved in any of the planning and declares she will not attend the wedding.

I recently confronted her and asked if she was against my engagement because of the color of my fiancee's skin. My mother looked at me with shock and contempt and denied that color had anything to do with her negative reaction to my engagement. However, she would never give a reasonable answer to her disapproval and cold shoulder behavior toward my fiancee or our engagement.

Clare is the woman I have always waited for and I will not give her up because of bigotry. I love my mom and I don't want to hurt her but I believe she is being unreasonable. I know Clare would love a great relationship between the three of us and would do anything she could to make things easier. However, she is black and she is beautiful and I would never change her, even to suit my mother. How do I ease my mother's and Clare's fears? How do I unite the people I love the most? Is there hope?

Sincerely,

It's a Love Thang

Mike Says... Veronica Says...

Dear Veronica and Mike:

I am an independent woman. I have been for the past four year. I think that it is important that a woman can support herself and have the satisfaction of knowing that if �the going gets rough' she can depend entirely on her own skills for survival. In the past four years, I have put myself through college, paid for my own car, the rent on my meager apartment is always on time, and I never go to bed hungry. I also managed to sweep an amazing man off his feet and we recently got engaged. Now that I am out of college and in the career field of my choice, my fianc� desires that I quit my job once we are married. He tells me that he makes more than enough money to make the marriage, home, and family that we have both dreamed of a reality. I have to agree that he does make enough money to support us well above our means, but I just don't feel that it is right for him to have to fully support the both of us and our future family financially alone. It seems a bit old fashioned. Besides, I like being a working woman making her mark in the business world. I like knowing that I paid for the rings on my fingers, or the car I drive.

Should I just turn my fianc� down flat and declare my independence or should I seriously consider his offer and perhaps use my skills in a different environment other than the workforce (ex. starting a family, volunteering, etc.)?

Sincerely,

Independent Lady

Veronica Says... Mike Says...

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