So the marriage is a little "iffy" right now. Your eye wonders as a caring (and attractive) co-worker sympathizes with you. Your mind begins to think the unthinkable and your nights are filled with unforgivable dreams of your co-worker. Veronica and Mike help this Gx reader determine what is really real in his life to get him back to where he wants to be with his wife. Also, an independant college student tells her parents, "Take your rules and shove it, I ain't living here no more!"

Advice: On The Other Hand...
with Advice Columnists Veronica Gross and Mike Tancredi

Do you need some advice? Think that Veronica and Mike could help you see both sides of your situation? If so, you may send Veronica and Mike an email here.

Dear Mike and Veronica:

I have a frustrating problem that I hope you can give me some useful advise on. I am twenty-one years old and I will begin my senior year of college in the fall. I feel that my parents are far too over protective of me and they leave me feeling trapped most of the time. I have never been much trouble and I am an excellent student. However, my parents do not allow me many more freedoms than a 13 year old. I am their oldest child and would like the responsibilities of that but my parents don't see it that way. Recently, I asked if I could make a trip to go see my boyfriend of the last 3 years. He is in the Navy and stationed a few states away from my home town and I would really like to see him again. I may not have another chance for a while. My parents have refused to let me go. Their reasons where: 1) because they said so, 2) they don't want me flying since the 9/11 terrorist attack, and 3) the drive is too long for me to go alone. Also, my mom stated that she didn't like the idea of my boyfriend and I being alone together for a week or so. Hello! I am twenty one! Aren't I old enough to make my own decisions without someone putting their foot down?

Because I want to finish school without the pressures and responsibilities of being on my own and trying to go to college, I continue to live with my parents. However, that option now seems to be impossible and I find myself wanting to fly from the nest. I don't think I can adhere to a before midnight curfew anymore. Nor do I think I can tolerate constantly having to battle my mom and dad in order to get some breathing room. I am seriously considering bailing out on my parents and finding my own place or going to live with my boyfriend. This will have serious repercussions though. My parents will no doubt stop paying their half of my college (which is a small amount) tuition and they will take away my car that I am paying for but is in their name. Before, I make such a big decision like this, please would you give me some sound advise about whether or not to do this or how to change this situation with my parents?

Sincerely,

21 to Life

Mike Says... Veronica Says...

Dear Veronica and Mike:

I got married fairly young. Now two years into the marriage things just are not working out. My wife and I are having intimacy problems as well as constant fights over things that really don't matter like house chores. Recently, I have been having very vivid dreams about a woman that I work with. I have always considered her a friend before and never in a sexual way. However, since I have been having these dreams about her, I am beginning to become attracted to her. Lately, we have been talking to each other about our relationship problems and she seems very understanding and has some good input. Which only attracts me more.

In the last week I have had 5 dreams about her in a row. The last one was very sexual. When I realized that I was having continuous dreams of my co-worker, I was a bit shocked. If my wife knew I had these dreams she would be very jealous and upset. I really want my relationship with my wife to work out. I have no intentions of making any moves on my co-worker either. The word divorce really disgusts me. I don't want it to be an option. Is my subconscious telling me something I am not willing to accept? That perhaps I need to move on. Or am I just caught up in one of those male fantasies that could never come true? Should I live with the fact that things are bad right now and they may or may not get better?

Sincerely,

No Wife, No Life

Veronica Says... Mike Says...

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