Helpful info from my own personal experience.
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As I walk this earth, I often find that there are so many issues that the common person doesn’t understand, and in joining HOPE I’m now given the chance go make some changes and speak out.
I’ve always felt I’m an average girl but then again, considering I’m a Druid, the matriarch and alpha female wolf kin of an ancient and not-earthly pack, bisexual, and have an IQ of 150 well I suppose I’m anything BUT average. Ah, the intricate life of the oldster, I’ve seen so much. As this life’s body grows older, I had considered myself unshakeable, knowing that anything that could happen to me in this currently mundane existence would pale in comparison to all that has come before. That was, of course, before I met Tiger. *(name changed to protect the innocent ^_^)
I met him first through an old friend of mine, and to me he seemed like the average teenage boy. A bit loud, addicted to coffee, somewhat short and scrawy, and to his utter frustration his voice hadn’t quite achieved as low of a register as he’d hoped. Looking back, I wonder how I didn’t know. I spent a week straight making friends with him, and in my own wolfishly maternal way I saw him as another child to protect. Considering the kinds of touchy circumstances that happened during his visit, I found myself comforting him for the better part of that week.
Soon after he returned home, he told me that he had fallen for me, to my surprise. Looking back later, I realized that for all my motherly behavior I was also falling for him, and so we decided to start a long distance relationship. On his next visit he stayed with me, and everything seemed perfect. He was loving, sweet and sincere, he treated me like a princess, wanting nothing more than to cater to my every wish. But then I began to realize he was hiding something from me - something big.
To start with, every time we were close he would restrict my hands from touching his chest at all. And when I did happen to put my arms around him, I could tell there was something wrapped around his body. He would never take off his shirt and always wore bulky layers. And once, he was joking about how he had a hairless chest and pulled his shirt down a bit. From where I sat, I could have sworn he had cleavage. Other clues began to assert themselves, such as how whenever his family would answer the phone they would refer to him as "she." I began to get my suspicions.
At first I was confused, I didn’t know what to think, so I resolved that whatever his secret was, I would say nothing until he wished to tell me what it was.
Eventually though, he told me the truth. Tiger was born female, he is a Transgender and in a few months time he was going to undergo a sex change operation.
I can honestly say that compared to that, nothing shocks me now, you can’t really top finding out your boyfriend’s really a girl.
My first reaction was one of embarrasment. I felt silly for not realizing it before hand. But I knew, as I had always known, that no matter what, nothing would change my love for him. And so I took a little time to adjust to the change of view, and found myself more curious than ever. Tiger was kind enough to understand my inquisitiveness and gave me all the information I could ask for. I realize now, how complex a situation he is in, and how painful it is for him. I see the way people judge him, and the ridiculously large role gender plays in society’s workings.
I realize that those of you reading now are probably like I was when I first heard of Transgenderism, and I’ve compiled a little FAQ to help you better understand these people. I can’t say I’m an expert, but I know the condition first hand and hopefully, I can teach you.
1. What is "Transgenderism?"
Transgenderism is the display of transgendered behaviour. Any behaviour in which people cross the gender "divide" is transgendered. This includes transvestites, cross dressers, transgendered persons and transsexuals
2. What are Transsexuals?
A transsexual is someone who wishes to live, or already lives in the oposite gender role. What they consider to be the right role. They can either be male to female ("M->F") or female to male ("F->M"). Transsexuals have typically been diagnosed as being Gender Dysphoric.
3. What is Gender Dysphoria?
To put it simply, this is the belief that you are psycologically and emotionally the opposite sex. It is diagnosed by a therapist or psychiatrist who is experienced in gender matters and is usually a pre-requisit for hormone therapy.
4. So are Transgenders and Transexuals homosexual?
No, not necessarily. Many confuse gender with sexuality. The proportion of hetrosexuals, bi-sexuals, gays etc is no different in transgendered persons
than in non-transgendered persons.
5. So what do I call a Trans, "It" ?
NEVER ever do this. You would be furious if someone started calling you "It." So does any Trans. Refer to them as the gender they identify with.
I hope this little bit of information is a helpful starting point, but here are some better and more informative links if you want to know more:
General links:
http://www.tgguide.com/
http://www.tgforum.com/
http://www.abgender.com/
Female to Male links:
http://www.ftm-intl.org/
http://www.amboyz.org/
Male to Female links:
http://www.annelawrence.com/
http://www.femdirectory.com/
