Surveying Birmingham's greasy eateries
(and gaining weight) since 2001

In less than 2000 calories we wish to tell locals and outsiders i.e. people from Wolverhampton where they can get a plate of egg and chip served with or without brown sauce. Thereby reversing all the good work done by the George Foreman grill you used twice. This choice is what we call democracy!

Using our guide you should find a cafe as soon as you leave the darkness of New Street or Snow Hill Station, get off that bus where everyone on the back of the top deck is smoking pot, or finally managing to find a traffic-warden free parking space. Within minutes you should be able to seek the nearest and best greasy spoon cafe.

By using a cafe you are not merely shortening your life span, but fighting the capitalism represented by multinational chains of fast food outlets and coffee shops. You find our greasy spoon cafés aren't making lawyers richer by constantly fighting court cases over how nutritious and tasty their food is, and how it doesn’t destroy rainforests. Use your cafe, Dr Atkins would be so proud (remember more black pudding and fried eggs, go easy on the chips).

Cafes come and go. Over the years we have had bad and good experiences with these places. These are not temples to health, but rather a refuge for caffeine addicts and chain smokers. In Birmingham greasy spoons abound, some hidden in back streets, most cling on where urban redevelopers fear to tread. When you think of Brum, don't think about the Bull Ring, Spaghetti Junction or even our canals, think of plastic chairs bolted to the floor, boiling hot tea served in lipstick stained mugs, and a full English Breakfast proudly glistening on a plate that never matches any other in the same cafe.

All work is Copyrighted ©. Unauthorised reproduction of any image on this web site is not permitted.