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The Bad Guide

to the Greasy Spoon Cafes of
Birmingham

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Speedy Pizza Co., The Pallasades, Birmingham























.....................................................Exterior ....................................................................


















.....................................Interior..........................................................Couple eating...........................



You know when you’ve been living in a city too long when you know and refer to places not by their names, but by the fact you know people who work there. So instead of “Speedy Pizza” it was “that café place where Ben’s mom works”. There are two seperate counters at opposite ends, one side serves cakes and deserts, giving the front entrance a pleasant cafe culture feel (we could be in Vienna), at the back hidden away like a shameful box of cheap Czech porn mags is the hot fast food counter, serving pizzas and chips.


Conveniently situated above New Sreet Station, they seem to serve everything here pies, pizzas, cakes and chips. The cost of a pizza starts from £1.99, a 6 piece all day breakfast from under £2. Don’t be surprised if you emerge after one too many meals here to the chants of “You fat bastard” from Sandwell school children playing truant. This place uses blunt plastic cutlery. So make sure you bring your teeth with you. It’s a large place, the use of Lawrence Llwelyn-Bowen inspired mirrors and plastic plants giving it that extra illusion of space and that you may be in the greasy tropics full of lush oily vegetation.


Since this review was done, Speedy Pizza Co. closed in the year of our Lord 2001. RIP. Today it has been replaced by a cheap clothes shop.



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