The rabbit has a name! Mood: a-ok Topic: One Ramblin' Ranter!
Well by a 71% approval rating 'fluffy' has become Stewey or Stew!
Thanks for the votes and all the suggestions. I actually think we should be calling him Capone or Babyface because he is a total gangster. In fact he had me drive him over to this other bunny's house and we hung that rabbit out the window, threatening to drop him until he paid his dues. We are about to put a horsehead into another bunny's bed tonight and we may swing by and teach another rabbit a lesson, whatever that means. We stopped for some alfalfa at this bunny bar last night, and he stabbed some rabbit in the neck with a pen after the rabbit yelled at me because I asked him if it was his pen. It went like this: Me: "Excuse me mr. rabbit?"
Little Brown Rabbit: "What? What could a "human" want with me???"
Me: "Uh, sorry sir...."
Little brown, but extremely rude, rabbit: "Spit it out! I ain't got all day to deal with youse guy! I got carrots to eat and lady rabbits to hump!"
Me: "I found this pen..."
Little evil brown rabbit: "what's that got to do wit me??"
Me: "I...I...I thought it might be yours..... "
Evil awful jerk of a rabbit: "Does it look like I have opposable thumbs?? What are you some kinda dummy?"
Me: "Sorry sir..."
Mean, about to make me cry like a girl, rabbit: "Do you think I am an idiot? If I needed a pen I would have one! I don't need your CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED pen!! You trying to make me look like some kinda jerk???"
Stewey, the rabbit formerly known as fluffy: "What did you say??? What did you say??? You will apoologize you little rat!"
Brown, frothing at the mouth rabbit: "I ain't apologizing to no biped! You ca....Aaaackk aaaackk!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK!!!"
This was when Stewey pounced and shoved the pen into the rabbits neck repeatedly. We loaded him up in my car and buried him south of Portland.
I feel dirty....
So yeah he needed a tougher name but he says he can make Stewey work. He says he won't have to kill you or me for that matter. Then he added "Yet!" and started cackling. Yeah, it scared me too.
The Rabbit! Mood: accident prone Topic: One Ramblin' Ranter!
The rabbit and I have entered day 3 of our existence together. I feel I owe it to everybody out there to let them know how abusive rabbits can be. This rabbit calls me names, demands food, drinks all my beer, insults my guests, changes the channel to QVC when I am not looking and then eats and poos while I am talking to him. Earlier today he flipped over my kitchen table and threatened my fish George Jefferson with a knife! It is getting very dangerous in here!
He told me it's because I haven't named him and if he doesn't have a name by Monday night he is going to open a can of whopp booty on me! Look, I am scared of facing this deranged critter in the art of fisticuffs. Please do your part and vote for a name! For all that is decent help me name him!
There he goes again drinking more beer! PLease just vote!
Rabbits, Luggage and Italy Mood: bright Now Playing: Johnny Cash - Delia's Gone
So some of you may know that my dad and Maryjo are heading to Italy. Last night they whisked in about 9:30 at night bearing 'Fluffy', their rabbit. I agreed to rabbit sit a while ago, but if I had known they would name the rabbit 'Fluffy' I would have refused. Fluffy implies a small, furry, demure rabbit. This rabbit is a decent sized rabbit and it surely is furry. What this rabbit isn't is demure. This rabbit is totally crazy! You are sitting there reading this thinking 'rabbit + crazy does not equal anything. That is when I ask you how many rabbits you have known? Exactly! I have known many rabbits since I moved to Oregon, you might even say that I have known a plethora of rabbits since I moved to Oregon. So is this rabbit any crazier then all those other rabbits? Well yes and no. This rabbit is much more friendly then the other rabbits, well except for Bunbun. He has already shown an amazing ability to escape his gated home. I had to chase him all over the apartment. Which I guess isn't all that unusual, I chased my fair share of rabbits while Maryjo practiced her hand at rabbit ranching. I felt like Elmer Fudd several times as I chased them with the salmon net, exclaiming "Wascally Wabbit!" You hang out with a rabbit for more then 2 minutes and tell me you don't reference Looney Tunes, it won't happen. So now you want to know what else besides the Jail break, right? Ok well this rabbit poops enough to put a horse to shame! Just imagine if the size was the same! I would have been mired in rabbit poo! The good thing about rabbit poo is it is dry and easy to sweep up and toss. Rabbit pee though, wooo boy! 1 day and I already have had to clean with lysol to rid the world of stench. Of course that isn't all that odd for a rabbit.... so maybe he isn't the craziest rabbit I ever knew. That just means rabbits are crazy animals. SO back to the name..... FLUFFY?????? I mean he is a boy!!! He has been dressing up in dresses and applying make up because his name has him gender confused! Poor guy! I have decided to rename him. I do this as a favor to him, he asked me to give him a cooler name. I swear! He asked me to!!!! I will name him before I wrap up this entry, I promise. Maybe...
"Hey give me a cooler name, I hate dressing in drag!" Direct quote from 'Fluffy'!
So his pet people, dad and Maryjo, ran off to Italy. Well kind of. They headed to Philadelphia to pick up Maryjo's mom and I guess get a Philly cheese sandwich before they board the plane tonight (Saturday)at 6PM. So they had two bags to check and of course the bags took off on their own to Chicago. Which is the second time this has happened to them. The first time was when their luggage was rerouted on their way back from their Christmas visit to Phoenix. Twice in 3 months! Their luggage will arrive in Philly at 10:30 AM today, hopefully. So maybe with a little luck they, and their luggage, will arrive in Italy at the same time.
I told them to make sure and try Italy's world famous Mu Shu Pork! Wait.... not Mu Shu Pork! What ever made me type Mu Shu Pork?? That is so French! I must be losing my mind! I told them to make sure and say yes to wine at all times. If they do it right the only record of the trip will be there pictures. hehe
The rabbit's name... I am not sure what to call him maybe I can get you to help me.... Here be the choices, matey! (<-Pirate phrasing pactice!)
A> Dennis B> Smokey C> Shadow D> Sir Poops A Lot E> Roger
Job hunt starteth again Mood: on fire Now Playing: Johnny Cash - The Man Comes Around
So I have recieved several calls recently from family members and friends. Which is nice. Kind of. So what do I mean by 'kind of'? Well the only topic has been my job situation. I am glad you are all concerned. Thank you for wanting to be included in my self induced and stupid monetary crisis. It will work out, have faith. I have always been able to see reality in situations. The reality of my situation is that I have an ever increasing bill pile and a rapidly decreasing bank account. I have to get a job, and this job has to start immediately. I know this and I know you know this. So let's get down to the brass tacks.
What have I done since we last talked? Well not much. OK, that is not exactly true, I have sent out numerous resumes for positions. I have recieved some responses and I have had an interview already and I have two more interviews in the near future. Are they the jobs of my dreams? No. No they are not the job of my dreams, but how can I be picky? I have bills to pay and an insurance career to start and no money to fund either!
The good news is I already was offered a job. The first interview of the week is also the first job offer. So what type of a job is it. Guess. Of course it's a call center, who else hires that quickly? It pays more than the last, benefits are offered earlier and it has decent hours. The best thing I can say is my first day is Monday. Yeah that's right I have a crappy job starting on Monday. Don't forget that what I need more then anything is to win the lottery. Since that hasn't happened I will settle for a job.
As soon as I get my license study hours finished I will take the insurance tests and start with AFLAC. Hopefully, life will get better, or at least the bank account will become less bleak. So I am trying to see the big picture and to ignore the small picture.
I started this all off by complaining about phone calls from family and friends. I love talking to you all, but give me some new questions. Talk to me about this stupid blog, ask about the wedding pictures, when I will write the next poem, if I spent time enjoying Oregon's beauty today. You know I will tell you about the job situation, it is foremost on my mind. It is an unescapable reality, it is a topic I will discuss freely. I juyst hate that it tends to be the only topic.
I am not my job. I am much more then that. I bring more to life then a worker bee and so do you. Jobs should be secondary, life should come first. Respect yourself and your worth, enjoy where you are and who you are. I am trying to.
A Pirate's Life for Me Mood: don't ask Now Playing: Tenacios D Topic: One Ramblin' Ranter!
So I have developed a new taste for rum. Not that I had lost the taste for rum... I have always considered rum a good drink. Except I have been enjoying rum as part of a hot buttered rum....
So as I have been hitting the drink tonight, I have begun reflecting on pirates. Logically.
Do you realize how easy it was to become a pirate in the past? I mean all you had to be was in the right port of call. Sometimes you just had to be on the right ship when your rum ration ran low you just rioted with all the others and you went in search of loot. I have read several books on pirate life and I think they are all a conspiracy to discredit the joys of pirate life. I mean treasure hording, cannons blazing, swashbuckling, rum guzzling fun. I am convinced people like Errol Flynn and Johnny Depp portray the acurate slice of the life. It had to be all fun and irreverant. The book publishers, the historians and the government are in a conspiracy to paint a bleak picture of the non stop party known as pirate life. I mean sure every once in a while you pillage and torture but hey they shoulda just handed over the loot.
I love rum.
How come it is so hard to become a pirate these days? I mean now you have to be asian I think. I mean that is where a lot of piracy still occurs. I read a book, well actually I read the first 20 pages of a book about some guy who wrote about modern pirates. He was looted and not killed but I think that was because he had cigarettes to give away. Kind of like prison cigarettes are gold. Well I am not sure but either way he was boarded by some asian pirates, he handed over cigarettes and showed off family photos and they left him alive. The worst thing was he didn't get a chance to become a pirate. Those asians are not anything like bluebeard. SO anyway the guy doesn't get to become a pirate, loses his cigarettes and decides to write a book. A book that gets published that people only read the first twenty pages of. Exactly talk about the definition of drawing the short stick.
I mean they used to have pirate hangouts, including New York. It was easy to get into the life. Instead I am in Oregon, not being a pirate and not being a gold miner!
I was totally robbed!
Speaking of gold miners... what happened to that type of life where are the claims to sell? Where is the shady tavern owner that takes my gold for a bottle of rum and a card game or two. For that matter where is my gold? Where is my pistoleering lifestyle. Dude I was robbed!
Clogs Mood: spacey Topic: One Ramblin' Ranter!
Slow draining tubs...
Whose idea was it to have such small pipes? Why do drains clog? I mean how old is this technology anyway? How come the groundbreaking solution hasn't arrived. Where are the waterless hygiene booths, the anti smelly injections. For that matter where is my flying car???
But seriously, I have been trying to clean out my drain without buying drain-o. Is that why noone has made a new improved drainage system? The liquid drain cleaners have that large of a hold on the world?
How did that much hair get lodged there? I mean isn't the idea of a drain to clear stuff out yet hair clogs it up?! How stupid!
Another thing how come I am so damn hairy? I am balding but yet I am like a shaggy dog everywhere else!
The After Party (Wedding pt II) Mood: party time!
So we had our pictures taken and our souls stolen by the various cameras and we headed to the clubhouse to fill the gaping holes our now missing souls left with some vegan fajitas. I would have to say that even without the meat the food was good, the eating was satisfying and the souls were forgotten.
So, what exactly is in a vegan fajita, you might ask. Well expect an answer! A vegan fajita is grilled vegetables, non lardy black beans and tortillas. Sounds like a good side you might say.... well you would be correct. It also is a good meal. Grilled green and red peppers, onions and portabello mushrooms pack the tortillas with grilled goodness. I would say yes to another helping of those. Along with that was various sodas and water. The clubhouse didn't go for alcohol in their spot, so we (which means yours truly) just called it green citrus punch and dark tea. The beverages I refer to are Margaritas and micheladas made from negro modelos, limes and a salted rim. The shindig was cranking and everybody was partying. Well maybe sitting, relaxing and chatting. Later in the evening the official paperwork was signed and sealed away in a trusty envelope and it was sent to the man (also known as Arizona state government) to make it all official.
Speaking of the man and the officialness of things. Isn't it funny that you have to pay to get married and you owe taxes for dying. That government sure is crafty.
Back at the party, as you can probably guess, the water was the odd man out I helped carry in as much water as I carried out at the end. Actually to tell you the truth I think we all under performed as far as the revelry goes. Their was still a gallon of untouched margaritas and half a crock of micheladas when everybody ran off. Shame on us!
Well it was a gala event and I enjoyed it. Even with the rain and the leftover drinks.
The Trip, the Visit, and the Wedding Mood: lazy
I know you have all been waiting with baited breath for my update. I will try not to disappoint.
George is fine, he is still alive. He lasted nearly an entire week by himself. Woohoo!
Wednesday I had a flight out of Portland at 6 AM. It was an empty and easy flight. I arrived in phoenix at 9:45 and was picked up by mom, Jessica and Jason. We hung out all day and had a blast. We saw 'Hoodwinked', we had lunch with John, we did a baby hike to the wedding spot, we visited Maryann, Jennifer and Glenn, and then we ended the day with dinner at La Casa Serrano's with John, Arlinda and Katie (Katie was sick so she had missed out on the days events). La Casa managed to offer the worst service and worst dining experience I have had in a long time, I mean I decided not to order a second beer! I was ready to party and everyone around me was heading to bed. I soon discovered that I was exhausted because next thing I knew it was morning.
Thursday began with a cup of freshly squeezed grapefruit juice. Soon, mom and I were off shopping for vegetables for the wedding's veggie tray. We picked John up and had lunch at Chili's. We headed back home and I decided against the movie option because nothing seemed worth seeing. So we headed to Rula Bula for Irish bread and a pint. We explored the new art in Tempe, enjoyed the Guinness and then headed back to mom's house. That was where I absconded with the minivan and headed to Doug and Amber's house for dinner and an evening of conversation.
Friday arrived and I started painting the fence for my mom. Time flew by and soon John and I were having Ruebens and a glass of Guinness for a St. Patrick's Day celebration. Then I was back to painting. I finished, got cleaned up and we headed to Bob and Nancy's for a wonderful dinner. Vida, Bobio and Mary Jane were also there. It was great food and a good time. I headed to Kevin's after while mom and Becky past out watching the Daily Show. Kevin and I drank several varieties of beer including hoegaarden, stella, Guiness, harp, and a double bock. We also had Irish car bombs and ended up talking until 5 AM.
At 8 AM I was heading back to mom's house. Where I showered and visited with mom, Maryann and Becky. Then I snuck in a nap until it was dim sum time. Pete, dad, Bob R and I headed to dim sum and consumed mass quantities of food. Dad, Pete and I hung out until I started to fade. So I was dropped off at mom's house and I took a nap until it was time to head to Macayo's to meet Glenn's family and eat lots of chips and salsa. By this time Katie was feeling better and Jason was hit by the cold. We had a nice dinner which spilled over to mom's house where we drank, munched on girl scout cookies and clover shaped sopa pillas made by Jennifer. I headed to bed after everyone left and fell asleep quickly.
Sunday arrived and with it the rain came. It was the second day in 150 days to have rain. I was up early and soon found myself at Coco's having eggs benedict while mom had fruit. Then we headed back to mom's house where we loaded the truck and the van with things for the wedding. Tables, chairs, flowers, vegetables, margaritas, me (the rev), and mom and Becky. We headed over to M&G's clubhouse in the suddenly pouring rain where we quickly unloaded everything and set it up inside. That was all done rather quickly and soon I was just standing around while people tried to figure out whether or not we were headed to the mountain for the ceremony. The plan became to go to the mountain and to make a decision there. With everybody milling about in front of the path the decision to brave the now amazingly light drizzle was made and we headed to the marriage spot. Where I performed the ceremony, read the poem and their homemade vows and then presented the married couple to the crowd. Who then ripped them apart limb from limb..... or maybe the crowd just took pictures.
That is it for now, I will get back to this later. My niece Jessica thinks sometimes I write too much so I figure I will have a part two to avoid the over writing and boringness factor that may result.
Upgrades Suck!!! Mood: caffeinated Now Playing: Public Enemy - Fight the Power! Topic: One Ramblin' Ranter!
You know what I am done with? Yes the ACS job, yes the HSBC job, yes the Enterprise job.... OK wait stop I am the one in charge of this rambling rouser page.
So anyways what I am done with is upgrades. New features if you will. I am sick and tired of having new features come out the day after I buy something. I know you all know what I mean. Let me lay my experiences out for you.
So I have an ipod. Oh the wonderment of the gadgetry. It is a jukebox. That's it. Which is what I wanted. I spent $300 dollars for a 40 gig ipod. I received it and had it for less then a week when the ipod mini came out. Which was OK because it was still expensive and it did not have a 40g hard drive. Then a month later, ipod photo comes out. Which of course I want. However, no one seems to allow you to trade in and trade up except car dealerships and they are shady. So, here I am, with an outdated ipod that I just purchased a month prior. I can guarantee you that I would have bought the ipod photo if I had had the choice. On second thought it's better that I didn't, now that the ipod video has arrived. Somehow the pointless rage lessens for the second upgrade.
So here is the second example. Mobile phones. Every other week they have something bigger and better.... err.... make that smaller and grander. I bought a new phone 3 years ago. The camera phones were new and way too expensive so I got the type of phone I wanted when I got the last phone (2 years ago, which make that 5 years form today), a color screen with cool games and stuff. The next week they offered a camera phone for the same deal I had just made. 49 for the phone + activation and a 2 yr agreement. And of course, my phone became the 'get this phone free with activation' phone. Thanks to the 2 year commitment I was stuck with that phone (and that company) for 2 years, unless you want to buy a new one for 500 dollars or pay 200 dollars to break the contract. GRRR! So this year when I was able to get a new phone I went for the free phone, it is exactly like the one I had and I am good with that.
Dvd's!!! It seems like the minute you get one they come out with the ultimate edition, if you get that edition then they come out with the collectors edition. If you get the collectors edition they have the directors ultimate special collectors edition. That is not what really irritates me though. It galls me that some DVD's never reduce in price. I have coveted a Mallrats dvd for 2 years but somehow it is always 22 dollars. I refuse to pay that much. That price tag right there is the reason the movie industry is getting ripped off. Oh and another thing where is my ultimate collection of Pauley Shore movies?? I know you all feel me. They have an Adam Sandler collection..... He starred in Overboard... yeah I never saw it either.... Adam Sandler never saw it.... Pauley Shore turned that job down.... and never watched it....
OH and don't get me started on game consoles.... I finally get a Nintendo, then comes the upgrade super nintendo (or whatever)... I finally get a playstation and then comes playstation 2.... I watch 2 years of dreamcast commercials and when I get it they stop making games for it within 6 months..... So I traded the ps1 and the dreamcast for a ps2.... That worked out ok...
So yeah I just refuse to play anymore! I am done with being a consumer! NO more! Except for a new computer... a spiffy laptop... then that's it.... as long as I get an all in one printer..... and I will need a photo printer for my book concept..... I will need to get a better camera too, a digital SLR.... but that's it....
The job offers o'doom Mood: suave Now Playing: The Roots - Do you Want More?!!!??!
So I spent about 3 hours this morning applying for jobs and then I spent 5 hours studying for my insurance license. The interesting news is I have scheduled one interview and one other company has contacted me to request an interview. Everything will be ok!
I am getting ready for my trip. I have started collecting my clothes and other important items like my poem for Maryann and Glenn, my cameras, and my cd player. Which brings another spouting off point. I, as some of you may know, own an ipod. So why would I not pack my ipod? well it was sent back to Apple for repairs last month. They did in fact repair it and send it back. Unfortunately, they neglected to include my apartment number so the delivery never happened and it went back to Apple. Well I called and they have corrected the problem (I hope) and it will be on its way soon. Not in time for the trip. So I will not be continuously jacked in when you see me. I have missed that since the stupid ipod broke. All of a sudden I have to pay attention to radio personalities and the overabundance of commercials. BOOOO!!!
a-ok
accident prone
bright
on fire
don't ask
spacey
party time!
lazy
caffeinated
suave