The Trip, the Visit, and the Wedding Mood: lazy
I know you have all been waiting with baited breath for my update. I will try not to disappoint.
George is fine, he is still alive. He lasted nearly an entire week by himself. Woohoo!
Wednesday I had a flight out of Portland at 6 AM. It was an empty and easy flight. I arrived in phoenix at 9:45 and was picked up by mom, Jessica and Jason. We hung out all day and had a blast. We saw 'Hoodwinked', we had lunch with John, we did a baby hike to the wedding spot, we visited Maryann, Jennifer and Glenn, and then we ended the day with dinner at La Casa Serrano's with John, Arlinda and Katie (Katie was sick so she had missed out on the days events). La Casa managed to offer the worst service and worst dining experience I have had in a long time, I mean I decided not to order a second beer! I was ready to party and everyone around me was heading to bed. I soon discovered that I was exhausted because next thing I knew it was morning.
Thursday began with a cup of freshly squeezed grapefruit juice. Soon, mom and I were off shopping for vegetables for the wedding's veggie tray. We picked John up and had lunch at Chili's. We headed back home and I decided against the movie option because nothing seemed worth seeing. So we headed to Rula Bula for Irish bread and a pint. We explored the new art in Tempe, enjoyed the Guinness and then headed back to mom's house. That was where I absconded with the minivan and headed to Doug and Amber's house for dinner and an evening of conversation.
Friday arrived and I started painting the fence for my mom. Time flew by and soon John and I were having Ruebens and a glass of Guinness for a St. Patrick's Day celebration. Then I was back to painting. I finished, got cleaned up and we headed to Bob and Nancy's for a wonderful dinner. Vida, Bobio and Mary Jane were also there. It was great food and a good time. I headed to Kevin's after while mom and Becky past out watching the Daily Show. Kevin and I drank several varieties of beer including hoegaarden, stella, Guiness, harp, and a double bock. We also had Irish car bombs and ended up talking until 5 AM.
At 8 AM I was heading back to mom's house. Where I showered and visited with mom, Maryann and Becky. Then I snuck in a nap until it was dim sum time. Pete, dad, Bob R and I headed to dim sum and consumed mass quantities of food. Dad, Pete and I hung out until I started to fade. So I was dropped off at mom's house and I took a nap until it was time to head to Macayo's to meet Glenn's family and eat lots of chips and salsa. By this time Katie was feeling better and Jason was hit by the cold. We had a nice dinner which spilled over to mom's house where we drank, munched on girl scout cookies and clover shaped sopa pillas made by Jennifer. I headed to bed after everyone left and fell asleep quickly.
Sunday arrived and with it the rain came. It was the second day in 150 days to have rain. I was up early and soon found myself at Coco's having eggs benedict while mom had fruit. Then we headed back to mom's house where we loaded the truck and the van with things for the wedding. Tables, chairs, flowers, vegetables, margaritas, me (the rev), and mom and Becky. We headed over to M&G's clubhouse in the suddenly pouring rain where we quickly unloaded everything and set it up inside. That was all done rather quickly and soon I was just standing around while people tried to figure out whether or not we were headed to the mountain for the ceremony. The plan became to go to the mountain and to make a decision there. With everybody milling about in front of the path the decision to brave the now amazingly light drizzle was made and we headed to the marriage spot. Where I performed the ceremony, read the poem and their homemade vows and then presented the married couple to the crowd. Who then ripped them apart limb from limb..... or maybe the crowd just took pictures.
That is it for now, I will get back to this later. My niece Jessica thinks sometimes I write too much so I figure I will have a part two to avoid the over writing and boringness factor that may result.
Upgrades Suck!!! Mood: caffeinated Now Playing: Public Enemy - Fight the Power! Topic: One Ramblin' Ranter!
You know what I am done with? Yes the ACS job, yes the HSBC job, yes the Enterprise job.... OK wait stop I am the one in charge of this rambling rouser page.
So anyways what I am done with is upgrades. New features if you will. I am sick and tired of having new features come out the day after I buy something. I know you all know what I mean. Let me lay my experiences out for you.
So I have an ipod. Oh the wonderment of the gadgetry. It is a jukebox. That's it. Which is what I wanted. I spent $300 dollars for a 40 gig ipod. I received it and had it for less then a week when the ipod mini came out. Which was OK because it was still expensive and it did not have a 40g hard drive. Then a month later, ipod photo comes out. Which of course I want. However, no one seems to allow you to trade in and trade up except car dealerships and they are shady. So, here I am, with an outdated ipod that I just purchased a month prior. I can guarantee you that I would have bought the ipod photo if I had had the choice. On second thought it's better that I didn't, now that the ipod video has arrived. Somehow the pointless rage lessens for the second upgrade.
So here is the second example. Mobile phones. Every other week they have something bigger and better.... err.... make that smaller and grander. I bought a new phone 3 years ago. The camera phones were new and way too expensive so I got the type of phone I wanted when I got the last phone (2 years ago, which make that 5 years form today), a color screen with cool games and stuff. The next week they offered a camera phone for the same deal I had just made. 49 for the phone + activation and a 2 yr agreement. And of course, my phone became the 'get this phone free with activation' phone. Thanks to the 2 year commitment I was stuck with that phone (and that company) for 2 years, unless you want to buy a new one for 500 dollars or pay 200 dollars to break the contract. GRRR! So this year when I was able to get a new phone I went for the free phone, it is exactly like the one I had and I am good with that.
Dvd's!!! It seems like the minute you get one they come out with the ultimate edition, if you get that edition then they come out with the collectors edition. If you get the collectors edition they have the directors ultimate special collectors edition. That is not what really irritates me though. It galls me that some DVD's never reduce in price. I have coveted a Mallrats dvd for 2 years but somehow it is always 22 dollars. I refuse to pay that much. That price tag right there is the reason the movie industry is getting ripped off. Oh and another thing where is my ultimate collection of Pauley Shore movies?? I know you all feel me. They have an Adam Sandler collection..... He starred in Overboard... yeah I never saw it either.... Adam Sandler never saw it.... Pauley Shore turned that job down.... and never watched it....
OH and don't get me started on game consoles.... I finally get a Nintendo, then comes the upgrade super nintendo (or whatever)... I finally get a playstation and then comes playstation 2.... I watch 2 years of dreamcast commercials and when I get it they stop making games for it within 6 months..... So I traded the ps1 and the dreamcast for a ps2.... That worked out ok...
So yeah I just refuse to play anymore! I am done with being a consumer! NO more! Except for a new computer... a spiffy laptop... then that's it.... as long as I get an all in one printer..... and I will need a photo printer for my book concept..... I will need to get a better camera too, a digital SLR.... but that's it....
The job offers o'doom Mood: suave Now Playing: The Roots - Do you Want More?!!!??!
So I spent about 3 hours this morning applying for jobs and then I spent 5 hours studying for my insurance license. The interesting news is I have scheduled one interview and one other company has contacted me to request an interview. Everything will be ok!
I am getting ready for my trip. I have started collecting my clothes and other important items like my poem for Maryann and Glenn, my cameras, and my cd player. Which brings another spouting off point. I, as some of you may know, own an ipod. So why would I not pack my ipod? well it was sent back to Apple for repairs last month. They did in fact repair it and send it back. Unfortunately, they neglected to include my apartment number so the delivery never happened and it went back to Apple. Well I called and they have corrected the problem (I hope) and it will be on its way soon. Not in time for the trip. So I will not be continuously jacked in when you see me. I have missed that since the stupid ipod broke. All of a sudden I have to pay attention to radio personalities and the overabundance of commercials. BOOOO!!!
The Job Front Mood: d'oh
So I promised to keep you abreast of the job situation (seen in the March 8 update). Well I will sum it up by saying the job hunt has begun. Yeah I am unemployed again. See what happens when you speak up for yourself? It's ok, I can get a job paying as well as that place anywhere. Now I just have to get it done. This time I have decided to look toward a temporary placement agency for help. It is crazy to pursue another call center job, which seem to be the biggest hirers. I have an aversion to working for them. I am also confronting a general lack of enthusiasn for most positions I see advertised in the paper. I am seriously interested in pursuing the insurance sales job that I have focused on. For two reasons, I will be in charge of my work schedule and I shelled out 480 dollars to get licensed. I have already fulfilled 20 hours of the 90 mandatory observed study hours. I am excited about trying the Insurance sales, it's more then I can say about the last couple of jobs. So although it means I will be not spending money during my Phoenix trip it will work out in the long run.
On that note I am heading to Phoenix Wednesday instead of Friday. You can find me at my mom's sometime Wednesday morning.
Hey! Well I am back to update this piece! What's new for me. I am still in Portland and you are welcome to visit at any time. Just holla! TRANSLATION: Contact me if you would like to visit sometime. I already quit one job and found another. The names don't really matter these days it seems. They just use letters. ACS is the name of the new company and I have no idea what the letters stand for. I have no intention of making it a permanent home so I probably will never learn their name behind the letters. It's another phone job. I am just working there until I can get my insurance licenses and get my insurance business off the ground. Yeah I am headed back to insurance. It beats non-stop phone sales.I wake up everyday and say 'Until I get started'. It helps a little bit but not nearly enough. The truth of the matter is I can't stick with a job because I keep taking jobs that don't challenge me. ACS is probably the worst job I have ever had. The training is lackluster, they send you to the phones with only a tiny glimpse of your responsibilities and all the trainers act like you are a total bother when you ask them a question. Let me give an example. The training is 'self paced', TRANSLATION "Here is the computer and here are the computer lessons. GO for it." I passed the test that was full of a lot of things I had never learned in training and this last Monday was supposed to be my first day of taking calls. I showed up with 2 other people from my class that had graduated at the same time and had opted for the shift that happens to be before the big man in heaven gets up. Otherwise known as 4 AM. Yeah that sounds crazy. Mike up at 4AM. Yeah I heard it already. Thanks for the support. Back to the story. So anyways the 3 of us roll into work and the guy acts like we are from Mars when we tell him we are ready to start. He says he has no logins for us and then proceeds to write down our names and sends us to listen to calls which we had already don for 2 days. I hate listening to people take calls. I hate taking other people's calls as well but I did it. The next day the 3 of us show up and he does the same thing except the writing our names down and as I started to wonder how they knew I was there. So I came in today. He aks me 'are you new?' I'm like no this is my third day here. I just need a log in. My other compatriots also tell him they need a log in. He says log onto a computer and I will help you check for a log in. So we do. We sit there and chat. I find out that all the other classmates even the people that drool have their log ins. The 3 of us are the only ones. 30 minutes go by.... the supervisor guy is talking about his home to another inbred supervisor. An hour goes by and now he is talking about gaming online and how he wants to be a pixy or whatever. We start murmuring about the crappiness of this completely unbelievably low paying pointless and dreary job that no one seems to care if we do or not. 2 hours go by and he pretends we are not there. Maybe the chairs we chose are in a vortex of hades, who knows? It hits three hours and I seriously saw myself age. My scooby gang starts talking about just quitting. three and a half hours of the supervisor managing to avoid us at all costs and those two leave. Yes they leave for good. I finally break at 4 hours. I track this incompetent peon down and I say..... You don't care about that, what am I rambling for? Let me get to some news you guys care about. So I got a fish the other day. He is a betta. When I got him he was in one of those little tiny cups. I transfered him to a huge 2 gallon tank. I started singing "moving on up to the east side! We finally got a piece of the pie-hi-yi!" Everytime I walked past I would sing that song and I was watching him and every once in a while he would squiggle a bit. Not going anywhere just moving a lot in one spot. I started thinking about George Jefferson doing his little move he did. I started singing again. I sat down and started watching tv. I got up again and as I passed I said "Hey fish!" I sat down with my glass of lemonaid and I said I can't call him fish he needs a name. A litany of names for dogs came: scar, lassie, spot, jack, fang, tiger, monkey, fido, sula, piano, Mr. T, cereal, Elvis, Mista Mista, ballerina, tiny, bug, mojo jojo, no, bad, down, candy, circle, cube, whiskers, sox, frito, monk, notorious. You know the usual list for dog names. They didn't seem quite right though, then I started thinking of fish names: hey fish!, bug eyes, sir swims-a-lot, reverand fin, dj jazzy scales, monkey, the notorious f.i.n., floppy, scrappy, juju. None of these were right there was a name that suited him.... but what the devil was it? Wait, I am doing it again. You don't care what I name my fish. Ok, moving on. So I have been heading to work every day. Then after work I head to the insurance school so I can log monitored hours. I then get home and spend way too much time avoiding sleeping. Then I wake up in the morning and wonder why I am so tired. Well I guess that's that..... What? What do you mean finish my stories? I don't think you really want to know.... You do? You want a more complete update? Well OK.
So I walked up to the training supervisor and I said. "Hey. So will I be getting a log in today?" His Response: "I'll get to it. I am very busy." My response: "Well I have been sitting for 2 and a half days waiting for a log in. Today I was told by you at 4 AM to sign on to a computer and you would help me and it is now 8. I have not been ackowledged since 4 AM, when you asked if I was new. SO can you get a log in for me so that I can do the job." His response: "I will set you up to sidejack (TRANSLATION: listen to some other slackards calls)" My response: "I have already done that for 4 days now. I would like to get my login so I can take my own calls. I have been waiting for you to get that set up for 4 hours. I am not interested in doing anymore sidejacking. I just want to do the job you are paying me for." His response: "Well I will have to have you sidejack." My response: (At this point I am a little irritated) "No. I don't think so. I think I will head home and when I come in tomorrow I want you to have my log in." Then I left. I spent the extra time at the insurance school.
What? I am not saying that I handled the situation at work well. In fact I am not sure what will happen tomorrow. I never gave that guy time to say anything I think I shocked him speechless. I may walk in to sign my walking papers. If that is the case HR will get an earful of the incompetent trainers they have employed at this place. I doubt that will rock their world but that is ok. So I may be looking for my third job in Portland in four months. Damn, talk about a winning resume. I keep telling myself "it is only temporary", but like I said before that doesn't help much. If I could just get on the phones at least I can do something.
SO I know you are dying to know the fish name. Well I ran through lists like I told ya and 'monkey' kept popping up. So, of course I named him George Jefferson. Because he is 'Moving on up'!!!! Pictures to come sometime in the future hopefully before he dies. On a totally unrelated note I have recently been ordained as a reverend. Make that Reverend Michael James Williams. Yeah I know that name isn't long enough. I need to become Catholic long enough to figure out how to pick up some extra names so my full name takes like twenty minutes to rattle off. So I am ready and excited about marrying Maryann and Glenn! The event of the millenia, March 19th!! Sunday! Sunday! Sunday! You'll pay for the seat but you'll never get to sit down! With special guest appearance by... Robosaurus!!!! Woohoo...WHAT?? No robosaurus??? D'oh! That's it for now.
TV Star Mood: vegas lucky Topic: One Ramblin' Ranter!
So like it finally happened. I got on TV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, I know, it is a dream come true. So if you watch television and like a couple days ago you were in Portland and you watched the news on channel 12 at 11pm then you know what I am talking about. They interviewed me and for 15 seconds I was famous.
If you want an autograph.... I can help you with that! I have been signing autographs in anticipation of the deluge of fan letters... I figure the post office had to hire someone just to handle my mail box alone! So get your request in soon.... my agent says I have to limit the autographs to 5 million.... and you know that will happen quickly!!!
SO my interview went like this: Television Reporter: Yesterday a police officer had her gun stolen from her car while she was off duty. DO you think the police should have a rule about proper safety guidelines yada yada yada? Me (rakishly handsome with a 5 o'clock stubble): Well I doubt anything can be done about off duty time, but it seems like you should take precautions to avoid your gun being stolen. Reporter: This was the second time the officer has had her gun stolen. Me (still devishly charming): Second Time? Reporter: Yes, both times the gun was sitting in a purse in her car. It was a specially designed purse made specifically for carrying a gun. Me (looking ravishing): Well there ya go. The thief saw a purse, broke in got the cash and a bonus gun. The crook wasn't going for the gun. Everyone knows valuables left in a car should not be in plain sight, this officer has probably told someone that when she has been on duty. If you don't want it to be stolen the least you should do is put it under the seat, especially when your gun is involved. The fact that the gun owner is a police officer and it happened twice just makes it pathetic. Reporter: Good point! Thank you for your time and can I get your name. You will be on the news tonight on channel 12 at 11. Have a good night (roughly translated: please date me you are irresistable!)
and here is what made the news: Reporter: Blah blah blah gun blah blah blah blah. Blah Blah second time this officer has had her gun stolen from her car. Blah blah blah. But some residents were concerned. (cut to me) Mike Williams, Local Clackamas County resident "it seems like you should take precautions to avoid your gun being stolen." Reporter: And blah blah blah blah.....
And that is how the TV magic happens! I finally was one of those people that you watch and say who decided to interview that idiot?
lazy
caffeinated
suave
d'oh
vegas lucky