Spring
Mood:  energetic
Topic: One Ramblin' Ranter!
It is spring in Portland and I have been spending a lot of time after work taking walks. I have also spent part of that time plotting my days off. I imagine myself enjoying the warm sunshine as I head downtown and explore the Chinese Garden or take the Walking Art Tour. I see myself getting on a bus near my house and heading downtown and living it up. It's a nice dream.

Unfortunately it is only a dream. It is true that every day I get off work it has been sunny and beautiful but every single day I am off from work it has been overccast and slightly chilly. Let's put this in perspective my days off last week were Wednesday and Saturday. Monday and Tuesday were perfectly blue skies and the best temperature ever. Wednesday was grey and I needed a light jacket. The next morning I woke up and it was clear and sunny all day and Friday it was as well. In fact Friday was a little too warm! So I wake up Saturday and put on shorts and a light cotton shirt.... and it is grey outside and slightly chilly. I decide that I will not let that deter me so I start walking in the general direction of the grocery store. As soon as I get about a 1/4 mile from my house it starts raining! I am not talking the light rain that Portland is famous for I am talking 'drench your clothes when you are a 1'4 of a mile from home' rain. So I was dripping by the time I got home. All my ideas and desires flew out the window and I tucked back into the computer and produced all of the stellar designs for the Stewey Store, the Rent My Dad Store, and the new designs for the original Crazedlunatikdesigns.com Store.

I guess I can say good came out of a spoiled day but come on just one beautiful sunny day that is completely off from work! PLEASE???

Posting A Comment
Topic: HOW TO COMMENT!
I have been playing around with this site a lot in the last few days and I have changed quite a few things. Unfortunately I have not been able to change the usability of the comments on this site. It is not the most friendly set up so I decided I would just do a quick break down of what it takes to comment on the site.

First things first every entry has a section at the bottom that says: "Posted by Michael Williams at 11:58 AM PDT | post your comment (0) | link to this post Updated: Saturday, 29 April 2006 6:09 PM PDT" In this line of text is the place to click. It is the "post your comment (0)" text. Now that you know where it is go ahead and click there. It will bring up another window that contains the blog entry you are replying to and any other comments that may have been made. Then at the bottom it should have a bunch of white boxes to put your comment and your name in. Sometimes it doesn't so just click "post your comment" on this page and the white text boxes will show up. For the name section just put in your first name. If you have a website enter the address in the Home Page spot. You can leave your email address if you want but you do not have to. I will respond to everyone's comment the email will help me tell you that I responded. Then you have the comment section and this is where you type all of your reactions, raves and condemnations. Here is an example "Mike has smelly feet!" Then when you have entered your comment click "Continue".

So the comment is posted right? WRONG! There is another step. The next page will display my blog entry and your comment. You are able to at this point correct any spelling errors or add anything if the comment doesn't make sense so you should read it. If it looks good click Post Comment! If it needs some work click Edit Comment and you will be able to add and make changes. Cancel will prevent the comment from existing. If you click Post Comment it will post it and you are an official commenter. You can not edit your comment once it's posted.

The next screenthat pops up will display the blog and the comment for you. When you are done enjoying your wit you can return to my main blog by clicking Close Window at the top. You will not see the correct comment number under the entry on the main blog until you hit refresh so go ahead and click on that to see your comment. It should now say "post your comment (1)" or whatever the number count is.

You can read posted comments if the entry has them by clicking the "post your comment" text again. It will pull up the blog entry and any comments made. That is the only way to see the comments. I tried to find a blog that just posted them in the blog but none of them do so keep your eye on the "post your comment" text.

The store has expanded!
Mood:  bright
Topic: Site News
So last night in a fit of inspiration I expanded the products offered at my store. In doing so I had to expand the store a bit so there are now three shopping sections.

The first store is the original store CrazedLunatikDesigns.com which contains a variety of items. It has the 'Enjoy Your World' mugs, the Magnolia Tree mouse pad, the attack squirrel magnet, the future civilization journal and George's sticker. It also has a few Stewey shirts and a stewey button that reads "I Helped Turn 'Fuzzy' into STEW!" The Stewey items at this store have an expiration date. They will disappear on May 30th, so if you like them you need to get them now.

The second store, the Stewey Store has only Stewey related items. It has 'Stewey and the Reaper' and the NEW 'Ode to Stewey' items. The Stewey and the Reaper items say: "Tell them I know who read the word Broccoli and said EWWWW!! Tell them I Know and I'm coming! You tell them I'm coming and the Reapers coming with me, you hear?! The Reapers coming with me!" The Ode to Stewey items say: "Ode to A RABBIT NAMED STEW!: We have had some good times buddy! I loved the late night mob hits even though all you let me do was drive and carry bodies.... I will miss that. I will also miss sharing the broccoli and cleaning up your staggering pile of poo everyday. I will really miss coming home to you viewing rabbit erotica and videos of broccoli fields that caused you to hump: my shoes, my pillow, my blanket, my broom, my trash can, and all the socks I left lying around. I will miss you stabbing me whenever you felt it was broccoli time. Gosh, those were fun times." This store has shirts, sweatshirts, pillows, tile coasters, stickers, clocks, magnets, hats, bags and aprons!

The third store is the Rent My Dad store. Since not everyone can afford to actually Rent My Dad I developed a line of more affordable Rent My Dad items! This store has shirts, sweatshirts, stickers, magnets, clocks, buttons, caps, aprons, ornaments and a pillow! Text on the shirts read: "Need Rain? Rent My Dad! Only at crazedlunatikdesigns.com/I promise he will smile in your pictures!/Warning: My dad might not actually make rain! Use "Rent My Dad!" services at your own risk." The buttons say "RENT MY DAD! If You Need Rain You Need My Dad!" and the magnets say "Need rain? Rent My Dad! Available Exclusively at: Crazedlunatikdesigns.com Warning: Use of this product does not guarantee rain or that my dad will perform any chores!!"

Now my shop has more shopping choices! You know you need some CLD swag! Go there today and make your first of many purchases. The store is updated often so keep checking back for more items to fill your home!

Gas....
Mood:  blue
Topic: Mike gets kinda political
So the hottest topic of the last few weeks is the ever increasing price of gas and the fact that the gas monopolies show a huge profit. Their argument that they are just adjusting to make up for the increased price of oil seems suspect. I am not surprised that they are making money; they have turned amazingly stifling summer gas prices into an expected trend for the past few years. It is a trend every single one of us has accepted. No matter how much we griped we paid the price and kept driving. Most of the time there was no choice we needed the fuel to get to work. I am in that exact situation again because my phone job starts earlier then the buses get going. My insurance job will also require me to drive. So I am up a creek and there never was a paddle for my boat to begin with.

We know that gas prices are high and no matter how outraged we get that they really won't change the price or lessen our plight. The 'investigation' by the government won't change things either. We are stuck paying the gouging prices and I hate that! It gets me upset and it causes me serious heartburn. In fact I had a panic attack after I saw the final purchase price of the gas I got tonight. I was hyperventilating and everything! What I held in my hand was an amount over 2/3 of 1 day's pay at my phone job. I told the station pump guy: "Next time can we have a little foreplay?" and of course since he is a lowly peon he did not find that at all funny. It was not meant to be. What the gas companies are doing is shooting fish in a barrel. They have a product that a lot of people need to have. Gas fuels the car that gets them to work to pay the bills. What gas companies seem to want is to make you work a second full time job so that you can pay for the gas that gets you to the first full time job to pay the other bills.

So what do we do about it? I know plenty of people that like hugging trees would say we should have a day when no one drives a car at all to show our protests of the gas prices. I am not one of these hippies. I realize that I can have all the no drive days I want but when it's over I have to get gas to go back to work. Other people suggest that we all go and buy alternative fueled vehicles and that will allow us to use less gas. Unfortunately I exist in the real world, I can not afford to have an oil change let alone get a new car that is more expensive because of the 'eco-friendly' label!

I have no choice I will keep driving to and from work everyday. So how am I helping myself and fighting the evil fuel empire? I am rearranging my thought process. My car will be used to go to and from work. I will get gas and food only if I am already in the car because of a work trip. I will walk to places in my neighborhood and I will take the bus on my days off for any sightseeing. It is not a huge change as far as gas consumption, I won't start any revolution or any noticeable dip in the gas companies’ bottom line but it might push my fill up day back 1 more day. That 1 more day may help me a little bit, but it will be a moral victory. Not using my car to see the city will definitely help me actually see more of the city as I sit on a bus cruising through streets to my desired destination and not worrying about the traffic. Most of all it will help me feel better knowing my trip to explore the city did not put money in the gas companies’ pocket. I am not exactly taking food out of their child's mouth but unfortunately that would take more then me. It would take an army....

#1 Fan Email
Mood:  spacey
Topic: Reader of the Week
I have recently been getting a flood of emails on my site but I was very surprised and happy to hear from one group specifically and that group is the Milwaukie Seniors. Apparently they have seen my blog and in particular the articles on the Park's dedicational benches and their senior center. They had a few words of encouragement for me:

On 4/26/06, Judith Garland wrote:
To Mr. Crazed Lunatik,

We have recently been made aware of your 'website' through Edna's grandson little Billy. When little Billy mentioned we were featured on a 'website' we were naturally very excited and we raced to the computer to see it. We couldn't figure out how to turn the blasted thing on so we signed up for a 'Computers for Seniors' class. The instructer kept confusing us by saying the computer had a mouse and we tried putting out mouse traps but apparently computers need mice. We are still very confused by this whole computer information virus thingie so we have made the teacher show us the 'website'. What we found has shocked us! We are outraged. It made Harold so upset that he had a heart attack and had to be rushed to the hospital! We are sending his bill to you and we are expecting you to come over and listen to us talk about the 'good ol' days'!

We don't find your material funny. It is not ok to make fun of memorial benches or to show pictures of naked people on our billboard. It is definitely not ok to suggest that we lack libidos! In fact just last week Edna, Martha and I were planning a game of naked twister with Harold and George before your internet shenanigans sent Harold to the hospital! So we are very very very upset with you!

We have decided to dedicate a bench to you to show our displeasure. Since it is what you wanted so badly we are giving it to you before George kills you, he used to be a gangster in the 30's. We have had the bench inscribed with: "Milwaukie Seniors Think Mike is a Big Jerk!" They are harsh words we realize and although we might not normally resort to such verbage your antics have brought it out in us!

Expect a severe caning the next time we see you in our senior center or if we catch you near your bench. We would appreciate it if you don't move too quickly when we attack you. We are old and we can't chase down big jerks like you as easily anymore.

From,
Judith and the Milwaukie Senior Swingers


Ps. Little Billy typed up this email for us and is sending the pictures of your bench. This whole email thing is crazy!

Naturally when I read this I was ecstatic! I love getting fan emails. I feel sorry for little Billy having to type about his grandma's twister parties but I am glad they made that snot nosed punk type up the letter. I sent this email back:

On 4/26/05, Mike Williams wrote:
Dearest Milwaukie Senior Swingers,

I was very happy to recieve your email the other day. I hope all is well with Harold so that the Naked Twister parties can resume. I do enjoy hearing from my fans and I will keep dedicating my highest caliber of writing for you and yours. I do recommend getting little Billy into counseling immediately since no one should have to think about their grandmothers naked. I absolutely love the bench and can not wait to have a seat on it. I guess I will see you at the senior plant swap next month, I have a great tomato plant worthy of some trading!

Just as a side note Judith, please pass on to the rest of your group that you and the rest of the Milwaukie Seniors are this week's Reader of the Week! Congratulations and keep taking those computer training courses in about two years you might be ready for the on button!

Yours truly,
Mike Williams
Crazed Lunatik Designs

And here are the pictures little Billy sent!

The bench kind of gives you a warm fuzzy doesn't it?

Magnet Poem
Topic: One Ramblin' Ranter!

An Attack on Hackey Sacks (And George Speaks Out)
Mood:  on fire
Topic: A Mike and George Moment

I was taking a walk around the neighborhood today and as I turned a corner on the walk I saw some college aged people playing hackey sack. I noticed none of them were smiling they were just watching each other kick the sack around. This got me thinking about the fact that hackey sack is the worst waste of time ever! Don't believe me? I'll prove it! Have you ever....

(Testing.... Testing.... can you hear me? Well I guess you can't answer that question. This is George Jefferson, Mike's fish! I just did you all a huge favor; that would have been the most boring couple of minutes of your life! Mike means well but he just is totally missing the mark with this rant. I bet you are wondering what is going on. It is actually quite an interesting situation actually so I am glad you are curious! I invented a device that has let me occasionally take over his mind. I can't do much with it but I can get him to occasionally buy some great fish treat for me and today I managed to make him write my words in his blog. He doesn't even realize that you are all missing the various reasons why he thinks hackey sack sucks! I managed to turn the light device on my tank into a transmitter that can temporarily control his actions. I am a freaking genius! You know it's true! I am doing you a such a big favor, check out this sentence!)

Have you ever had to pick the hackey sack up off the ground every time you get to the third kick? That totally sucks!

(See what I mean about doing you a favor? Talk about boring! He and I have had a few disagreements in the past but ever since I invented this device I have been able to tolerate him. He can be an insensitive jerk sometimes, like last night he asked me if I wanted to take a walk to the park! A WALK! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!!?? WHAT A TOTAL JERK! HE KNOWS I CAN'T FREAKING WALK! DOES HE EVER ASK ME OUT FOR A SWIM??? NO, NO HE DOESN'T! OK, sorry I need to relax. Wooo I could have killed him! If it wasn't for the fact that he feeds me I probably would have. Let's check in on his ramble.)

I mean who wants to kick around a sack? You know what I mean?

(A HUGE FAVOR! Anyway I am here for a point! BUY MY FREAKING GEORGE STICKER! I CAN NOT BELIEVE THE STUPID STEWEY CUP IS HIS NUMBER ONE ITEM! YOU GUYS ARE SLACKERS! DON'T MAKE ME TAKE OVER YOUR MINDS!

Click on me!

Other then not having the number one item I have been doing well. The fish life is an easy one. I swim around and hide under the filter and then I go to the Buddha statue for a little worship time. Finally I head to the fake plant to seek inner peace. It's a good life!

He is almost done with his stupid hackey sack rant..... I better go. I will talk to you all again real soon!)

And that is why hackey sacks should be destroyed and all hackey sack enthusiasts should be jailed under the Patriot Act!

The Honest to Gosh Truth about Myspace
Mood:  a-ok
Topic: One Ramblin' Ranter!
I have not always been the best at maintaining friendships. I have let plenty of people slip through my fingers that I never should have. People that were great friends that I had a lot of fun times with have just been lost or left behind. I know that people grow up and life takes over and there is not a whole lot that you can do about losing touch. It happens and it is a part of growing up and starting a life but there are definately people that I should never have lost touch with. People that played a huge role in shaping my world view. I miss these people.

That is why it is so odd to find that a place on the internet has reunited me with a few of those friends. A place that I really don't care to spend much time at. That place is Myspace. Some of you are already a member, some of you know about it from the news, some of you know about it because people you know are on it and tell you that you should join and some of you have no idea what I am talking about. It's actually kind of funny that I am here extolling the virtues of a website that I can't stand. If you had asked me 6 months ago what I thought of Myspace I would have said "It is the dumbest waste of time in the world and I don't see the point!" Now my answer would be: "It is the biggest waste of time but once your page is up it actually will get you in touch with old lost friends. So it is actually kind of exciting." I hate Myspace, I readily admit it, but if you are not on it you are missing out.

I joined Myspace a while back I think it was the end of 2004 or the beginning of 2005. I might be wrong but it doesn't really matter when it was because I did not start getting interested until around the end of July 2005 when I had a visit from an old friend, Francisco. I knew him back in my senior year of high school when we had the same creative writing class together. I was excited to hear from him. I perused his friends list and spotted some other people and emailed them a little but after that first bit of excitement I lost interest in Myspace again. Then I got a bunch of friend requests from my fraternity brothers and I added them. I didn't get that excited about those guys because I had recently seen a lot of them in Flagstaff. Then I got an email from Mandie an old friend from high school and that got me excited because I hadn't talked to her in years and lots of things had changed. She had moved back to Chicago and I had moved to Portland so we had the escape from Phoenix thing in common. Then I was contacted by another old high school friend Chelsea. I caught back up on her life and it was fun to talk again. All of that was great, so I updated the page a little and did a little blogging there. I started recieving a few friend requests here and there and I exchanged emails with various people and was enjoying the connection with old friends.

Yesterday I got the best ever email and friend request from my good old gazebo partner, Karla! I have often lamented the fact that after high school she and I had no more time for gazeboing, sharing our writing and other artistic pursuits. So hearing from her totally made my day. I want to very quickly plug her site www.KarlaScarff.com where she displays her photographic talent. I can say I know a photographer the next time someone asks if I know any photographers. Anyhow our conversation just made me feel so good that I had to share her website. If I had access to her writing I would share it as well because she was an awesome writer and I am more then sure she still is.

I think that Myspace is a great place to reunite with people. I know that all you hear about are the pedophiles and the sex freaks but there are normal people on there too. Don't worry there are places for people like you all as well (since none of you are normal). I mean they let me have a page. Would I recommend devoting my world to that site, NO!

To all my friends whether current, future, new, old, lost or even slightly misplaced thank you. Oh yeah and holla at ya boy!

PS. I stole this idea from Karla's Myspace blog. Gotta give credit where credit is due.

Public Transportation and the books speak....
Mood:  suave
Topic: One Ramblin' Ranter!
I did it I took the bus to the Oregon Convention Center instead of driving! It was a little cheaper and it was a lot more pleasant when I didn't have to drive with all the morons. I saw some real neat near by restaurants and a few potential breakfast spots that my dad demanded I find. I may have to do the trip again to remember exactly where though. I figure it was a lot cheaper then the parking garage. My next step will be to take a bus to Powells and then maybe to the zoo or something. I am a little leary of the zoo however since I am afraid they might keep me. Either way the bus was not horrible and now I need to figure it out a little more in depth. I hope to show off my public transportation prowess to the next visitor I have.

The Wordstock Festival was amazingly fun. I talked to people about all kinds of things. I was real excited and I got some great ideas and some great advice. They had speakers talking about their writing and it was all exciting and interesting. When I get some money together I will pick some of those books up and let you know about them. It was a great way to spend a day off.

P&C Test and other news
Mood:  chillin'
Well I did it, I passed the Property and Casualty test. I didn't even really study much the night before. I had a hard time focusing after taking the Life and Health test and suprising myself by passing that one. I felt like I had ADHD. The words on the pages didn't make sense nor did the television shows. Somehow I managed to pass with an 81%, now all I need to do is start selling. I need some money, Mikey needs a new pair of shoes!

I don't have anything too exciting to say besides that I passed both tests so I figured I would just do some random updates.

My buddy Kevin and his wife Becky are having a baby. I am not sure who I told so some of you are reading this thinking "AND THEN?" Anyways I found out today that they are going to be having a baby girl. Kevin told me he has already started shopping for the perfect shotgun to meet the future boys with. So that is pretty exciting.

I am working on a new logo for my site. I am probably going to combine some old style with some new style and when I finish I will be putting it on a black t-shirt to sell at my store. I am excited about that so I will keep you abreast of all updates. I am always open for suggestions for possible design ideas if you have any. Raymond there will be no P.A.T. shirts because that is not appropriate material for the site but I can show you how to get that online and how you can start selling it... hehe.

More me news; this weekend is an event called Wordstock in Portland and all kinds of writers show up and talk about and hawk their books. I bought a ticket and I talked to a lot of people including people that produce literary journals that are seeking submissions. I plan on heading back there tomorrow, I bought the 2 day pass because by the time I remembered it was happening the day was almost over and the 2 day pass was 5 bucks which was less then the parking. I need to try the bus system tomorrow since I will be there longer. I plan to get my 5 bucks worth. You can see what Wordstock is all about by going to wordstockfestival.com or clicking here.