A Pirate's Life for Me
Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: Tenacios D
Topic: One Ramblin' Ranter!
So I have developed a new taste for rum. Not that I had lost the taste for rum... I have always considered rum a good drink. Except I have been enjoying rum as part of a hot buttered rum....

So as I have been hitting the drink tonight, I have begun reflecting on pirates. Logically.

Do you realize how easy it was to become a pirate in the past? I mean all you had to be was in the right port of call. Sometimes you just had to be on the right ship when your rum ration ran low you just rioted with all the others and you went in search of loot. I have read several books on pirate life and I think they are all a conspiracy to discredit the joys of pirate life. I mean treasure hording, cannons blazing, swashbuckling, rum guzzling fun. I am convinced people like Errol Flynn and Johnny Depp portray the acurate slice of the life. It had to be all fun and irreverant. The book publishers, the historians and the government are in a conspiracy to paint a bleak picture of the non stop party known as pirate life. I mean sure every once in a while you pillage and torture but hey they shoulda just handed over the loot.

I love rum.

How come it is so hard to become a pirate these days? I mean now you have to be asian I think. I mean that is where a lot of piracy still occurs. I read a book, well actually I read the first 20 pages of a book about some guy who wrote about modern pirates. He was looted and not killed but I think that was because he had cigarettes to give away. Kind of like prison cigarettes are gold. Well I am not sure but either way he was boarded by some asian pirates, he handed over cigarettes and showed off family photos and they left him alive. The worst thing was he didn't get a chance to become a pirate. Those asians are not anything like bluebeard. SO anyway the guy doesn't get to become a pirate, loses his cigarettes and decides to write a book. A book that gets published that people only read the first twenty pages of. Exactly talk about the definition of drawing the short stick.

I mean they used to have pirate hangouts, including New York. It was easy to get into the life. Instead I am in Oregon, not being a pirate and not being a gold miner!

I was totally robbed!

Speaking of gold miners... what happened to that type of life where are the claims to sell? Where is the shady tavern owner that takes my gold for a bottle of rum and a card game or two. For that matter where is my gold? Where is my pistoleering lifestyle. Dude I was robbed!

Robbed!

Wait my glass is empty..... Hold on...