The Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse.My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption.Dialup Networking is called Good Ol' Boys.Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard.Hard Drive is referred to as Four Wheel Drive.Floppies are them little ole plastic disc thangsAnd instead of an error message, you get a winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape.OK = ats aww-rightcancel = ha-il noreset = awa shootyes = shore no = naaaaafind = hunt-fer itgo to = over yonderhelp = hep me out herestop = ternit offstart = crank it up settings = sittinsprograms = stuff at does stuffdocuments = stuff I done donetiperiter = a word processorcolering book = a graphics programaddin mershene = calculatorscratch paper = notepadjupe-box = CD playerinner-net = microsoft explorerpichers = a graphics viewerIRS = M/S accounting softwareIRS2 = M/S accounting sofware with hidden filescoon dog = American Kennel Club recordsfishin = Bass Anglers Sportsman Society recordsNRA = National Rifle Associationshotgun = Remington arms price listriffel = Winchester price listpisstel = Smith and Wesson price listtruck = Ford and Chevrolet dealers in Kentucky by zip codehouse = nearest mobile home repair service by zip codecar = same as truckcuzzins = family history (usually a 3 meg file)tax records = usually an empty fileshells = ammunition inventory (another 3 meg file)bud = list of Budweiser sellers by zip coderacin = NASCAR racing schedule includes a list of tv stations that carry the racesIf yer computer stand is made of a stack of old tires or 2 x 8's and
cinderblocks.Ya think www. in a url is a logo for a wrestlin' organization.Someone tells ya they're "locked up" and ya ask if they need bail money.Ya've ever been too drunk to chat.Yer screen saver is a confederate flag and plays Dixie.Ya think a harddrive is a trip to Uncle Bubba's.Yer mouse keeps knocking over yer spitcan.Ya think a surge supressor is a pill for diarrhea.Ya keep trying to figure out why yer scanner won't pick up police radio
calls.Ya think a megabyte is a new sandwich at McDonalds.Ya have to ask someone how to spell LOL.Yer stomach overlaps half of yer keyboard.Ya try to figure out how to get yer empty beer cans into the recyclin' bin.Ya try to turn on yer computer with the remote.Ya try to figure out how yer floppy disk got hard.Ya play frisbee with yer CD Rom'sYa find yerself on the floor looking into yer "A Drive" yellingWhen birds fly across yer screen an ya reach for yer shotgun.Ya put a mousetrap on yer deskYer yards full of ol' computers stacked on cinder blocks.Ya use yer CD-ROM drive as a beer holder.Ya call tech support an ask where ta buy stamps fer yer e-mail.When ya tern yer computer on ya say "Come OOOOOOON Betsy".Ya think system wizard is a dude in a funny hat.Ya think 64 M RAM is a nu big block engine fer yer pickup.Ya think ICQ is how smart yer computer is.Someone tellz ya yer computer has a bug an ya reach for the can of Raid.Ya think a mouse pad iz where Mighty Mouse and his cousins hang.Ya go buy a surfboard to surf the net.Ya think yer homepage is where ya really live.Ya give Directions to a website that include a person, animal, or old barn.Ya Think MB stands for "More Beer".Ya wait fer the bluelight special at K-Mart ta buy yer puter.Ya see the word Download, and take the shells out of yer shotgun.Ya think the person that made yer keyboard was dumb cuzYa think pushing the delete key will make yer ol' lady disappear.Ya think CD stands for Cow Dung.Ya think IBM stands for "Idn't Betsy Marvelous"Ya think GIF stands fer "Goodie It's Free"Ya Think Mirabilis is a new brand of smokes.Ya see the "shift" key and try ta figure out how ta change gears.Ya put a quilt over yer screen when ya make whoopee to yer ol' lady.Ya wonder why yer screen saver ain't wearing a cape likeYa think screen saver is a new flavor o' candy.Ya think Geocities is a place ta buy lil cars.Ya catch yerself tryin' to smell the lil flower on yer ICQ contact list.Ya think the "A drive" is where ya park yer pickup.Ya see the werd "Zip" and know why youz feelin' a draft.Yer puter has a bumper sticker on it.Part of yer puter is held together with duct tape.Ya sees the word "Refresh" and reach into the cooler fer another beer.You's in a chat room and someone asks where yer from and you reply "My
momma"You sees the word "Website" and start looking for spiders.If your e-mail address ends in ".over.yonder.com".If you connect to the World Wide Web via a "Down Home Page".If the bumper sticker on your truck says "My Other Computer Is A Laptop".If your laptop has a sticker that says "Protected By Smith and Wesson".If you've ever doubled the value of your truck by installing a cellular phone.If your baseball cap reads "DEC" instead of "CAT".If your computer is worth more than all your cars combined.If you've ever used your CD-ROM as a coaster to set your drink on.If you ever refer to your computer as "Ole Bessey".If your screen saver is a bitmap image of your favorite truck, tractor or farm animal. If you start all your e-mails with the words "Howdy y'all".
LOG ON: Making a wood stove hotter LOG OFF: Don't add no more wood MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the woodstove DOWNLOAD: Gettin the farwood off the truck MEGA HERTZ: When yer not keerful gettin the farwood FLOPPY DISC: Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much
farwood RAM: That thar thing whut splits the farwood HARD DRIVE: Gettin home in the winter time PROMPT: Whut the mail ain't in the winter time WINDOWS: Whut to shut when it's cold outside SCREEN: Whut to shut when it's black fly season BYTE: Whut dem dang flys do CHIP: Munchies fer the TV MICRO CHIP: Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag MODEM: Whacha did to the hay fields DOT MATRIX: Old Dan Matrix's wife LAP TOP: Whar the kitty sleeps KEYBOARD: Whar ya hang the dang truck keys SOFTWARE: Them dang plastic forks and knifs MOUSE: What eats the grain in the barn MOUSE PAD: That's hippie talk fer the mouse hole MAIN FRAME: Holds up the barn ruf PORT: Fancy Flatlander wine ENTER: City talk fer, C'Mon in y'all RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: When ya cain't 'member whut ya paid
fer the rifle
[Hi-tech Redneck][Redneck Love][Signs][Jokes & Sayings]
