Out of the darkness breaks the dawn of morning
Mood:  not sure
My head is killing me. I woke up with the same headache that I went to sleep with. Dull ache with intermittient (about every few seconds but sometimes goes as long as a minute - long enough so that I begin to gain hope that maybe the headache is going away and start to relax, only to be jabbed in the head again) sharp bursts of pain that feels like someone is stabbing an ice pick into my right temple. I went to be late, my body woke me up early, and I'm still tired. But no way I can sleep. I gave the Tylenol an hour to do it's stuff and (as usual) it didn't even touch the pain, much less eliminate it. So now I'm trying cocoa with peppermint oil. I feel a little bit cranky today, irritable. But not because I have chosen to be, I'm trying to focus on positive things, I just can't seem to keep my mind from reverting to ideas that are annoying me but which I have no control over. So I'm left with this frustrating feeling and some amount of bitterness - and very possibly a contributing factor to my headache. Allergies seem to be attacking me too, and that's not helping.

Although the day ended with a headache yesterday, overall it was a great improvement from the day before. The children didn't quarrell as much, my mood was not so dark, and I got to spend a little over an hour talking with a friend about the game. She is going to help me with the Quest writing, and whatever other tasks she feels up to doing. I am grateful for her help and her support. I hope we can begin having more regular meetings to encourage one another, and help one another, and collaberate on the game. I'm very anxious to start seeing some more rapid progress on the game development. It's going so slow right now, I get discouraged sometimes.

As for today, I'm not sure what is on the agenda. I apparently need to expedite the updates on my chicken page. I haven't touched it in about 3 years, and I am STILL getting inquiries about how my chickens-in-town experiment worked out. So I need to post that update, and make that available on the web.

I might kidnap my friend and got hunting for yardsales later this morning. I doubt she is awake yet, so will wait a bit. But I'm also not sure what my husband has planned for the day. So I have to wait until he is up to find out if my little adventure will interfere with his plans also. Only my oldest son is awake, everyone else is sleeping, so here I am typing aimlessly whileing away the morning. A friend of ours mentioned he is going to the Farmer's Market. That kind of sounds like a good idea too, havne't been to one of those in ages. Just have to wait and see what the day develops into.

I downloaded a game from Fileplanet, and installed it last night. It's called KalOnline, a game based out of Korea. Supposed to be an Oriental fantasy RPG. Still seemed like every other exp-based computer game I've played, only with a player economy that is completely whacked. Items selling for 1.1 Million game-units. *gasp* And the people all just gather in a huddle in the middle of town and put these really long AFK messages to advertise their wares, and that's how they do the market. No special place for it... just wherever you want to plop down. Seemed kind of odd. Swearing was WAY out of control, and they don't seem to enforce their EULA whatsoever. The graphics were pretty, but in some situations you kinda looked at it and went *huh, that just looks wrong* and then I realised it has to do with the physics. Like in one place the waterwheel is dipping into the water but the surface of the water is never disturbed, it looks like a completely calm lake. And at another place there was a waterfall, and the water was just pouring into the lake, but there was no splash or spray from it. And I was also annoyed that the character can't swim in the water. You can only walk along the edge. I like swimming, even in virtual worlds. I want to be able to swim if I feel like it. Anyway, these are all things to consider in the making of our own game. I know that KalOnline makes items purchaseable for real cash $$ from their website, and I think this has a huge influence on imbalacing the game economy. I heard that Sony has begun to offer a service for ingame items for real cash money in EQ2 also, and I suspect the same completely disproportionate economy will arise out of that also. All this does is handicap the users who can't afford to spend their grocery money on a game, and makes it so that the people who are rich in RL become rich ingame too, and those who are struggling in RL struggle ingame too. And that completely defeats the beauty of a virtual world. What makes a virtual world so attractive is that it's a place where players can escape their RL oppressions and become an avatar totally different who is perhaps better, faster, richer, stronger, prettier (or sometimes uglier! HAHA) than their real-life person. When you start having the game world reflect all the trials and frustrations of the real-life world, with no more means of overcoming those frustrations than what is available to you in real life, there soon becomes no motivating compulsion to continue playing that game. Even in Simulation games, where the gameplay is structured around RL challenges, the game world offers unique opportunities for advancement and improvement that are usually not really available to us in Real Life. That's what makes it fun, is having the power to effect change in your envoronment. People enjoy the exhiliration of having the power to rise above the oppression of financial, emotional, spiritual or physical, or social poverty to become something great. When you take that element out of the game by introducing Real Life money to the equasion, you lose a vital component of the "fun factor" for a great many people. I'm not out any money from playing KalOnline a few minutes... it was a free download and free trial. But it was good to see some validation of my theories about what makes a game fun, even if they were represented in a "this is not fun" demonstration. Also, I really was not looking for yet another *kill everything in sight to gain exp's* kind of game. It seems plain to me that my game idea is still unique and I'm likely never going to find exactly what I'm looking for until I make it myself.

Blessings to you all. I hope you enjoy your weekend.
-Sparkling

Gloomy
I had nightmares last night. And discovered scheduling conflicts with mine and my husband's calendars after I got up. My spirit is weary. My heart is sad. And I'm exhausted from the frustration.

We have activities planned for this afternoon, and the kids are working on crafts this morning. So I don't really have a lot of time to sit at the computer today, though I keep finding myself here anyway. I should pull myself away but I am greatly lacking willpower and motivation today. I just want to crawl into a cave and never come out.

My youngest son brought a peppermint scented incense for me to light. I don't often burn incense, but today I agreed. Perhaps it will lift my spirits some. The Lord knows I need all the help I can get. I will accept the Lords help in whatever manner He sends it.

I had been thinking about the verse in Revelation that talks about the end times when those who do not accept the mark of the best on their hand or on their head, that they will be beheaded. Those will be raised from the dead to rule beside Jesus for 1000 years. A government that sets itself above the law, allows itself lawlessness in the name of maintaining lawfulness, creates a scenario for which these beheadings can take place. And their desire for everyone to be marked with an RFID tag "for security purposes" could forseeably begin to accuse those who are unwilling to accept the mark as traitors, or suspect. And in a government where legislators are more intent on removing Bibles from courthouses than they are concerned organizations that make a profit from killing hundreds of thousands of infants every year, scares me. I find myself desparately wanting to to move as far from mainstream society as I can possibly escape, planting some fruit and nut trees, adopting a small herd of cows, establish something resembling a permaculture farm, and trying to become self sufficient. I know we can't afford anything resembling a farm, but more and more I desire that. The Bible says that there will come a day when "a piece of bread will buy a bag of gold". Food is going to become mighty scarce, and only those with "the mark" (or perhaps the RFID tag imbedded in their skin?) will be able to buy or sell anything. There is a forboding in the air, and I can not help but dread it.

I am trying to put my faith in Jesus, for I know that HE is the redeemer, the rock on which I stand, my savior, and my Lord. I know that Christ has already won the war of life and death - he won the war when he rose again from the dead and defeated the grave. But we still have battles against the enemy we have to fight, to rescue what few lost ones that might be found. The war is won, and we know we are on the winning side, but the work is not over. And the battle yet ahead of us looks to be quite an ugly one. I wish only that more open their eyes and see the light, that there were not so many who refuse to believe.

Yes... my thoughts are heavy and the darkness weighs on me today. I keep praying for brighter days, and I know they will come. But for now, this is where I am at. Thankfully, God meets us where we are. He created the day and the night, the sun and the moon, the blue skies and the rain. And he is present on both the happy days and the gloomy ones. He carries me, when I can go no further on my own.

Peace and blessings be with you all, and with all who are dear to you.

Clouds shadowing the horizon
Here is an interesting perspective in the current events of our times...

http://arstechnica.com/news.ars/post/20050509-4886.html

Implanted ID tags, a government that is above the law (not bound by the laws), and prophecies about the end times... looks to me like the battle lines are being drawn. I'm not talking about terrorists, communism, or WWIII either. I'm talking about the big war, the one that has been waging silently since the fall of the angels, the war between light and darkness, the war of eternal life and eternal death. The big war. In the end there can be only one victor. Which side are you on?

Art update
Today I worked on my webpage some more. I spent about 3 hours creating the Art Gallery page. Most of the trouble was getting the pictures to load properly, but I did finally get it all working. You can go directly to the Art Gallery page here: https://www.angelfire.com/or3/tinyzoo/Art.htm Although there is a link to it from the main web page also.

The kids are fighting rather a lot today, so I don't think I'm going to get to stay at the desk much longer. Blessings to you!

Tut tut! It looks like rain!
(Little Winnie the Pooh quote there for ya. ;) )

Mother's Day Sunday was pleasant and sunny. My inlaws bought a ham and I cooked it, during the meal we each learned that ham is not a favorite food for either one of us though, but it turned out well and we enjoyed it anyway. We all watched both episodes of Shrek together. It was my MIL's first time to see both of them and she seemed to really enjoy the movies. Then we had cake that my FIL bought for us. All in all it was a good day.

Yesterday I was exhausted when I woke up with my husband, so I tried to go back to bed after he left for work. That was a mistake. I had dreams about my late Grandmother, the dreams were pleasant at first, but in the end she and Grandpa had to leave, and I was begging to go with them to spend just a little more time with them, but I couldn't go. And the last thing she said was "I feel like I'm dying" and then I woke up sobbing and crying. And that's when I realised of course that she and Grandpa had already passed away. And I started crying all the harder. That sadness hung like a thick black cloud over me the entire day and I had little motivation to do anything. And everyone else I spoke to during the day seemed as if they too were having a black day of sorts as well; some bothered by depression, some by stress, some by frustration, some by anxiety, some by discouragement - most by some combination thereof. It was an odd, dark sort of day and I am glad that it is over.

I did get some work done through the gloom yesterday. I printed some new business cards. I've wished I had one several times recently, so I finally made some more. I created a completely new design this time. I didn't have any actual business card stock, so I printed them on thick resume paper. A bit thin, but hopefully sufficient until I can get some card stock.

Today is going a bit better. I did not attempt to sleep again after my husband left. Not that my daughter would have let me anyway, little early bird that she is. The cinnamon bread that I put in the bread machine to bake on express bake, is... well.. not being very express about it. After the bake cycle finished it was still QUITE gooey and I had to figure out how to reset the machine to bake without all the mixing phases. So here it is 11 AM and we still haven't had a proper breakfast yet.

I've been working on a 3D model again today as well. Gotten quite a bit of complicated detail work done, but still a tremendous amount of drawing left to do. I hope it turns out well when all is said and done.... as much work as I've put into it, the thing had better look golden!

Now, if I can just get my children to finish up their school work, we'll be all set. I beleive they started it, but then they wandered down the hall to play. So I have to step away from the computer and redirect them back on task. Hope the day finds you all well and filled with renewed hope.

God bless you, your family and your friends - everywhere. And may He grant you peace.

Chaos lessons
Today started off quite out of the ordinary. Shortly after we awakened the loudspeaker of a SWAT team calling a man out of his house 2 doors down across the street alerted the entire neighborhood to rapt attention. Not every day we see a SWAT team in our neighborhood. In fact, in the 6 years we've lived here never once before have we seen a SWAT team. I tried to capture some of it on video, but I think all the camera ever focused on was leaves and tree branches in our yard. The event seemed to end peacefully and after an hour of coaxing they finally got the man out without gunfire or injury to anyone. Yay!

So from that point we went on our journey with the inlaws shopping and to lunch. Not much else happened the rest of the day that can really top the excitement of a SWAT team on our street. His mother's back was hurting and she ended up needing to rest for the remainder of the day. Hopefully the rest was helpful, and the extra day they are staying in town will do some good also. We'll see them again tomorrow.

I did learn a culinary lesson tonight, and simultaneously observed the scientific Chaos Theory at work on my kitchen floor. The culinary lesson I learned was that when adding nuts to the popcorn mixture for making carmel corn, TASTE the nuts BEFORE adding the hot caramel. /SHUDDER The peanuts went stale at some point in time and I didn't notice until after I had spent over an hour making the carmel corn. So then I got to spend another hour picking them all back out again, stale peanuts completely ruin the taste of good carmel corn. I also learned that microwave popped popcorn does in fact work sufficiently for making carmel corn, but it increases the fat content so high that I just about can't eat it. My gallbladder is really NOT happy with me right now - it's pineapple juice time.

If you would like to repeat the Chaos Theory experiment in your own home, all you need is a few pieces, not even a full handfull maybe only 3 or 4 puffs, of freshly popped popcorn. Drop it on your kitchen floor. Leave it there while you're busy doing other things, like stirring hot caramel mixture and trying to prevent it from bubbling all over the stovetop or sticking like a rock to the bottom of your saucepan. With no assistance whatsoever, and while you are not looking, those few little pieces of popcorn will shatter into a multitude of fragments and disperse across a 15 foot expanse of floor space. This works especially well if you are wearing socks on your feet (but no shoes) as the little fragments gravitate towards your socks and then you have these strange little sensations irritating your feet while you're trying to stir the hot carmel, which causes you to instinctively shake your foot like a cat that's just stepped in a puddle of water. In this manner the popcorn puffs entice you to participate in their mission of chaos by distributing the fragments further across the room. So that you can no longer simply pick up the 4 little pieces of popcorn and throw them away, now you must use the broom to sweep the whole entire kitchen, simply due to 4 pieces of popcorn being dropped on the floor. Chaos Theory at work...

Well, I thought so anyway. Maybe you have a better explaination?

And, Just in case I don't get time to post tomorrow... HAPPY MOTHERS DAY everyone!

-Sparkling

Talk about the weather...
I am only going to steal a few moments today for posting a message as my inlaws are arriving today, and I have much to do and little time to do it in. And my oldest son is leaving on a retreat for the weekend and will be missing most of the visit while his grandparents are here. It is somewhat awkward, but he has been looking forward to the retreat, and we didn't know the grandparents were coming this weekend until 2 days ago, so we're just goin to wing it and try to make the best of it.

As to the titles of my messages, I had this idea that I would use a metaphor of sorts, or euphemism... that's not quite the right word either, a bit of humor and play on words of the cultural cliche "talk about the weather" by using a forecast of the days' weather as my titles. I spent some time browsing other people's blogs last night though, and came to realise how it could be useful at at future point in time to have used actual titles for the posts, in case someone might actually want to go back in the log history to find an old message. So now I am left with the decision to make... should I continue with my little poetic exercise, or should I become a lemming and use normal titles like everyone else?

At any rate, while the skies are blue and it looks like a nice day outside, a storm is brewing among the children and I fear the hurricaines are working up a squall. I have too much on my plate today and I have to go deal with them now.

Blessings to you all.
-Sparkling

overcast with a slight chance of rain?
Mood:  incredulous
I spent the morning arguing with my Namo web design program, trying to convince it that yes, indeed I did want to load the images from the website and not from my hard drive. I finally got the page to load properly, and everyone should now be able to see the newly redesigned main page at tinyzoo.com. I will try to get this link added to the side menu here as well before the end of the day.

Long before I was able to regisiter my domain name, I had used the redirecting service of goto.com to make the URL to my page easier. It seems that some point in the process they were bought out, or overhauled their website, or something to the effect that I am no longer able to log in to my account. I sent them an email asking for assistance in how to access my account under thir new system, and I got a completely clueless response back telling me that they can't help with general internet questions, and to please use a search engine to find the information I was looking for. It seemed quite obvious to me that the "customer service" person did not even READ the email I had sent to them, and was simply trying to avoid actually helping with the problem. I find it very insulting that they insinuate that I don't know how to operate my browser or use the internet when they have not even taken the time to read the details of my problem to begin with. As you may guess, I no longer have my domain link through their redirect services.

I have many things to do today, and I'm running out of time to do them, so I must get going. Blessings to you all!

-Sparkling

Overcast, but comfortable
Yesterday morning I went to the Dr. and she prescribed antibiotics and a cough syrup for me. My tummy really doesn't like the antibiotics, but the cough syrup knocked me out so I got a full night's sleep for the first time in a week last night. Maybe I will start getting well soon.

I finally finished the web page I was working on today. The banner gave me fits for 3 days. Today I finally found an external program specifically for making animated .gif images that helped me accomplish what I wanted to do adequately. I used the Easy Gif Animator from this company: http://www.blumentals.net/ Still can't figure out how to convince it to leave the transparent backgrounds actually transparent though, it keeps painting them white. But the result is sufficient for use, so I published the page today. You can find it under the "About Visions" link in the list to the left here.

I have errands to run and more things to do, so this will be another short post today. It is my custom when I pray to ask God to bless my family and friends everywhere. But this week, I have added a request that God extend those blessings to all of their families and friends also. Perhaps in this way, a ripple of prayer will spread across the globe to all ends of the Earth. Wouldn't that be marvelous?

Blessings to you all.
-Sparkling

Sunny and warm
I have spent the day working on a new webpage. I havne't gotten the page uploaded to the website yet, so it isn't yet available for viewing. But I did make some good progress on it, got all the text written (probably too much text), and some of the graphics done, although I think I need to reduce the resolution on the banner graphics as people with slow connections will probably not be able to load it properly. I've got a couple more pages planned to add to it also, and the graphics for one of them done already. Once again I edited the links her eon the blog page, mainly in prepairation for the introduction of the new webpage I've been working on.
I still have a cough, and so have not been moving very fast as I don't feel well. But surprizingly, considering I didn't sleep well last night, I don't feel too groggy today. The morning started off a bit unexpected, with three consecutive deep conversations with women who are important to me. But nothing bad happened today, so that is always a blessing.
Have to make this short as it is dinner time now and I'm trying to get to a stopping point on all the projects I started working on today. Thanks for reading! God bless you and may He grant you peace.