Gloomy
I had nightmares last night. And discovered scheduling conflicts with mine and my husband's calendars after I got up. My spirit is weary. My heart is sad. And I'm exhausted from the frustration.

We have activities planned for this afternoon, and the kids are working on crafts this morning. So I don't really have a lot of time to sit at the computer today, though I keep finding myself here anyway. I should pull myself away but I am greatly lacking willpower and motivation today. I just want to crawl into a cave and never come out.

My youngest son brought a peppermint scented incense for me to light. I don't often burn incense, but today I agreed. Perhaps it will lift my spirits some. The Lord knows I need all the help I can get. I will accept the Lords help in whatever manner He sends it.

I had been thinking about the verse in Revelation that talks about the end times when those who do not accept the mark of the best on their hand or on their head, that they will be beheaded. Those will be raised from the dead to rule beside Jesus for 1000 years. A government that sets itself above the law, allows itself lawlessness in the name of maintaining lawfulness, creates a scenario for which these beheadings can take place. And their desire for everyone to be marked with an RFID tag "for security purposes" could forseeably begin to accuse those who are unwilling to accept the mark as traitors, or suspect. And in a government where legislators are more intent on removing Bibles from courthouses than they are concerned organizations that make a profit from killing hundreds of thousands of infants every year, scares me. I find myself desparately wanting to to move as far from mainstream society as I can possibly escape, planting some fruit and nut trees, adopting a small herd of cows, establish something resembling a permaculture farm, and trying to become self sufficient. I know we can't afford anything resembling a farm, but more and more I desire that. The Bible says that there will come a day when "a piece of bread will buy a bag of gold". Food is going to become mighty scarce, and only those with "the mark" (or perhaps the RFID tag imbedded in their skin?) will be able to buy or sell anything. There is a forboding in the air, and I can not help but dread it.

I am trying to put my faith in Jesus, for I know that HE is the redeemer, the rock on which I stand, my savior, and my Lord. I know that Christ has already won the war of life and death - he won the war when he rose again from the dead and defeated the grave. But we still have battles against the enemy we have to fight, to rescue what few lost ones that might be found. The war is won, and we know we are on the winning side, but the work is not over. And the battle yet ahead of us looks to be quite an ugly one. I wish only that more open their eyes and see the light, that there were not so many who refuse to believe.

Yes... my thoughts are heavy and the darkness weighs on me today. I keep praying for brighter days, and I know they will come. But for now, this is where I am at. Thankfully, God meets us where we are. He created the day and the night, the sun and the moon, the blue skies and the rain. And he is present on both the happy days and the gloomy ones. He carries me, when I can go no further on my own.

Peace and blessings be with you all, and with all who are dear to you.

Clouds shadowing the horizon
Here is an interesting perspective in the current events of our times...

http://arstechnica.com/news.ars/post/20050509-4886.html

Implanted ID tags, a government that is above the law (not bound by the laws), and prophecies about the end times... looks to me like the battle lines are being drawn. I'm not talking about terrorists, communism, or WWIII either. I'm talking about the big war, the one that has been waging silently since the fall of the angels, the war between light and darkness, the war of eternal life and eternal death. The big war. In the end there can be only one victor. Which side are you on?

Art update
Today I worked on my webpage some more. I spent about 3 hours creating the Art Gallery page. Most of the trouble was getting the pictures to load properly, but I did finally get it all working. You can go directly to the Art Gallery page here: https://www.angelfire.com/or3/tinyzoo/Art.htm Although there is a link to it from the main web page also.

The kids are fighting rather a lot today, so I don't think I'm going to get to stay at the desk much longer. Blessings to you!

Tut tut! It looks like rain!
(Little Winnie the Pooh quote there for ya. ;) )

Mother's Day Sunday was pleasant and sunny. My inlaws bought a ham and I cooked it, during the meal we each learned that ham is not a favorite food for either one of us though, but it turned out well and we enjoyed it anyway. We all watched both episodes of Shrek together. It was my MIL's first time to see both of them and she seemed to really enjoy the movies. Then we had cake that my FIL bought for us. All in all it was a good day.

Yesterday I was exhausted when I woke up with my husband, so I tried to go back to bed after he left for work. That was a mistake. I had dreams about my late Grandmother, the dreams were pleasant at first, but in the end she and Grandpa had to leave, and I was begging to go with them to spend just a little more time with them, but I couldn't go. And the last thing she said was "I feel like I'm dying" and then I woke up sobbing and crying. And that's when I realised of course that she and Grandpa had already passed away. And I started crying all the harder. That sadness hung like a thick black cloud over me the entire day and I had little motivation to do anything. And everyone else I spoke to during the day seemed as if they too were having a black day of sorts as well; some bothered by depression, some by stress, some by frustration, some by anxiety, some by discouragement - most by some combination thereof. It was an odd, dark sort of day and I am glad that it is over.

I did get some work done through the gloom yesterday. I printed some new business cards. I've wished I had one several times recently, so I finally made some more. I created a completely new design this time. I didn't have any actual business card stock, so I printed them on thick resume paper. A bit thin, but hopefully sufficient until I can get some card stock.

Today is going a bit better. I did not attempt to sleep again after my husband left. Not that my daughter would have let me anyway, little early bird that she is. The cinnamon bread that I put in the bread machine to bake on express bake, is... well.. not being very express about it. After the bake cycle finished it was still QUITE gooey and I had to figure out how to reset the machine to bake without all the mixing phases. So here it is 11 AM and we still haven't had a proper breakfast yet.

I've been working on a 3D model again today as well. Gotten quite a bit of complicated detail work done, but still a tremendous amount of drawing left to do. I hope it turns out well when all is said and done.... as much work as I've put into it, the thing had better look golden!

Now, if I can just get my children to finish up their school work, we'll be all set. I beleive they started it, but then they wandered down the hall to play. So I have to step away from the computer and redirect them back on task. Hope the day finds you all well and filled with renewed hope.

God bless you, your family and your friends - everywhere. And may He grant you peace.

Chaos lessons
Today started off quite out of the ordinary. Shortly after we awakened the loudspeaker of a SWAT team calling a man out of his house 2 doors down across the street alerted the entire neighborhood to rapt attention. Not every day we see a SWAT team in our neighborhood. In fact, in the 6 years we've lived here never once before have we seen a SWAT team. I tried to capture some of it on video, but I think all the camera ever focused on was leaves and tree branches in our yard. The event seemed to end peacefully and after an hour of coaxing they finally got the man out without gunfire or injury to anyone. Yay!

So from that point we went on our journey with the inlaws shopping and to lunch. Not much else happened the rest of the day that can really top the excitement of a SWAT team on our street. His mother's back was hurting and she ended up needing to rest for the remainder of the day. Hopefully the rest was helpful, and the extra day they are staying in town will do some good also. We'll see them again tomorrow.

I did learn a culinary lesson tonight, and simultaneously observed the scientific Chaos Theory at work on my kitchen floor. The culinary lesson I learned was that when adding nuts to the popcorn mixture for making carmel corn, TASTE the nuts BEFORE adding the hot caramel. /SHUDDER The peanuts went stale at some point in time and I didn't notice until after I had spent over an hour making the carmel corn. So then I got to spend another hour picking them all back out again, stale peanuts completely ruin the taste of good carmel corn. I also learned that microwave popped popcorn does in fact work sufficiently for making carmel corn, but it increases the fat content so high that I just about can't eat it. My gallbladder is really NOT happy with me right now - it's pineapple juice time.

If you would like to repeat the Chaos Theory experiment in your own home, all you need is a few pieces, not even a full handfull maybe only 3 or 4 puffs, of freshly popped popcorn. Drop it on your kitchen floor. Leave it there while you're busy doing other things, like stirring hot caramel mixture and trying to prevent it from bubbling all over the stovetop or sticking like a rock to the bottom of your saucepan. With no assistance whatsoever, and while you are not looking, those few little pieces of popcorn will shatter into a multitude of fragments and disperse across a 15 foot expanse of floor space. This works especially well if you are wearing socks on your feet (but no shoes) as the little fragments gravitate towards your socks and then you have these strange little sensations irritating your feet while you're trying to stir the hot carmel, which causes you to instinctively shake your foot like a cat that's just stepped in a puddle of water. In this manner the popcorn puffs entice you to participate in their mission of chaos by distributing the fragments further across the room. So that you can no longer simply pick up the 4 little pieces of popcorn and throw them away, now you must use the broom to sweep the whole entire kitchen, simply due to 4 pieces of popcorn being dropped on the floor. Chaos Theory at work...

Well, I thought so anyway. Maybe you have a better explaination?

And, Just in case I don't get time to post tomorrow... HAPPY MOTHERS DAY everyone!

-Sparkling

Talk about the weather...
I am only going to steal a few moments today for posting a message as my inlaws are arriving today, and I have much to do and little time to do it in. And my oldest son is leaving on a retreat for the weekend and will be missing most of the visit while his grandparents are here. It is somewhat awkward, but he has been looking forward to the retreat, and we didn't know the grandparents were coming this weekend until 2 days ago, so we're just goin to wing it and try to make the best of it.

As to the titles of my messages, I had this idea that I would use a metaphor of sorts, or euphemism... that's not quite the right word either, a bit of humor and play on words of the cultural cliche "talk about the weather" by using a forecast of the days' weather as my titles. I spent some time browsing other people's blogs last night though, and came to realise how it could be useful at at future point in time to have used actual titles for the posts, in case someone might actually want to go back in the log history to find an old message. So now I am left with the decision to make... should I continue with my little poetic exercise, or should I become a lemming and use normal titles like everyone else?

At any rate, while the skies are blue and it looks like a nice day outside, a storm is brewing among the children and I fear the hurricaines are working up a squall. I have too much on my plate today and I have to go deal with them now.

Blessings to you all.
-Sparkling

overcast with a slight chance of rain?
Mood:  incredulous
I spent the morning arguing with my Namo web design program, trying to convince it that yes, indeed I did want to load the images from the website and not from my hard drive. I finally got the page to load properly, and everyone should now be able to see the newly redesigned main page at tinyzoo.com. I will try to get this link added to the side menu here as well before the end of the day.

Long before I was able to regisiter my domain name, I had used the redirecting service of goto.com to make the URL to my page easier. It seems that some point in the process they were bought out, or overhauled their website, or something to the effect that I am no longer able to log in to my account. I sent them an email asking for assistance in how to access my account under thir new system, and I got a completely clueless response back telling me that they can't help with general internet questions, and to please use a search engine to find the information I was looking for. It seemed quite obvious to me that the "customer service" person did not even READ the email I had sent to them, and was simply trying to avoid actually helping with the problem. I find it very insulting that they insinuate that I don't know how to operate my browser or use the internet when they have not even taken the time to read the details of my problem to begin with. As you may guess, I no longer have my domain link through their redirect services.

I have many things to do today, and I'm running out of time to do them, so I must get going. Blessings to you all!

-Sparkling

Overcast, but comfortable
Yesterday morning I went to the Dr. and she prescribed antibiotics and a cough syrup for me. My tummy really doesn't like the antibiotics, but the cough syrup knocked me out so I got a full night's sleep for the first time in a week last night. Maybe I will start getting well soon.

I finally finished the web page I was working on today. The banner gave me fits for 3 days. Today I finally found an external program specifically for making animated .gif images that helped me accomplish what I wanted to do adequately. I used the Easy Gif Animator from this company: http://www.blumentals.net/ Still can't figure out how to convince it to leave the transparent backgrounds actually transparent though, it keeps painting them white. But the result is sufficient for use, so I published the page today. You can find it under the "About Visions" link in the list to the left here.

I have errands to run and more things to do, so this will be another short post today. It is my custom when I pray to ask God to bless my family and friends everywhere. But this week, I have added a request that God extend those blessings to all of their families and friends also. Perhaps in this way, a ripple of prayer will spread across the globe to all ends of the Earth. Wouldn't that be marvelous?

Blessings to you all.
-Sparkling

Sunny and warm
I have spent the day working on a new webpage. I havne't gotten the page uploaded to the website yet, so it isn't yet available for viewing. But I did make some good progress on it, got all the text written (probably too much text), and some of the graphics done, although I think I need to reduce the resolution on the banner graphics as people with slow connections will probably not be able to load it properly. I've got a couple more pages planned to add to it also, and the graphics for one of them done already. Once again I edited the links her eon the blog page, mainly in prepairation for the introduction of the new webpage I've been working on.
I still have a cough, and so have not been moving very fast as I don't feel well. But surprizingly, considering I didn't sleep well last night, I don't feel too groggy today. The morning started off a bit unexpected, with three consecutive deep conversations with women who are important to me. But nothing bad happened today, so that is always a blessing.
Have to make this short as it is dinner time now and I'm trying to get to a stopping point on all the projects I started working on today. Thanks for reading! God bless you and may He grant you peace.

Silence of the Night
If you look at the time htis is posted you will see that this really is being written in the darkest hour of the night. Just since yesterday afternoon I have developed a cough, and it is painful. Although the thermometer says I do not have a fever, I feel as if my condition is worsening. As I was laying in bed trying not to wake the rest of the family with my coughing, some verses came to mind. And some words of encouragement and instruction that seem to be from the Lord. After reading the Blog of Bryan Davis this week, I am emboldened to share these insights with any who might wish to spend the time reading.

I've been teaching the children to memorize Psalm 23. And the message in this is foundational to the thoughts of my night. That message being "The lord is with me". And we read from 2 Corinthians chapter 4 yesterday also. And again the message was repeated, (sumarized) that no matter what hardships or ailments we endure, if we have Christ then we are not alone. We can not be beaten. For He has already won the battle. And I know that I can endure this sickness, because the Lord is with me. And I know He can take it from me at any moment, or that he can abide with me for the duration - whichever will result in the greatest glory for God. I believe it is possible that I might suffer through the trials of my life for the benefit of others. Either so that they will come to believe through the example of my faith, or so that I might encourage them through the troubles of their own even as the Bible commands us to encourage and comfort one another. I don't have a Biblical verse to support this one thought, that the time of my healing might be dependant on another to submit their heart to the Lord and proclaim their faith in Jesus, but I have this feeling that it may be so. But I do know this, that the rest of the world puts their hopes in falsehoods and lies, and they wonder why things keep going wrong and never seem to go right, and they wrongly blame God for their hardships when they never put their faith in God to help them to begin with. But "they that hope in the Lord shall renew their strength..." Isaiah 40:31 and I know that "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28 Most people leave off that very important last half of the sentence, they don't want to acknowledge that there are strings attached to this promise. Two strings that I can see, 1 that we must love God (not just acknowledge that He exists, and even beyond having faith in his power, but love Him!), and 2 that we must be answering His call for the purpose of our lives - we must be following His will, not our own desires. If these two criteria have not been met, then all things may not work together for good. They may work together for evil, instead.

And it is for this reason that we each must "Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints; And for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly, to make known the mystery of the gospel, For which I am an ambassador in bonds: that therein I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak." Ephesians 6:11-20

And while we continue to fight the battle for the rescue of the lost souls on this Earth, we can take courage that the final battle has already been won. Christ won that victory for us when he broke the chains of death and returned to life, when he made himself as the final sacrifice so that we no longer have to be seperated from God but can fall at His feet, and and call him Father, Daddy, Pappa, in the greek "Abba Father". God is with us. That is what Immanuel means, God is with us. Jesus came to Earth to repair the fracture in our relationship with God that happened when Adam and Eve broke that trust, fell prey to sin and were cast out of the garden of eden. God always makes a way for us to come to Him, but we have to walk the path.

Anyway, as the honey tea is calming my cough while I write this (and most assuredly the Holy Spirit is helping also!) I pray that these words will touch someone, and be an encouragement to you, wherever you are while you are reading this. I know that whether my cough goes away by morning and I have to return to my regular duties as wife and mother, or whether it turns into deadly pneumonia, that either way God will be with me. And because I do Love the Lord, and I am trying very hard to obey Him and trying to use my talents for His glory, that whatever happens will work out for good, for His glory, in the end. If by my suffering this cough would bring one person to Jesus who may not otherwise have come to him, or if it hastens the decision of one who might have otherwise delayed turning their life over to God, or if by this experience I am able someday to encourage or comfort another person as a result and bring them new hope, then it will be okay. For I know that God is with me, and He comforts me, and I will fear no evil. For greater is He that is within me, than He that is in the world.

God bless you, and may HE grant you peace.