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"I had a fight with ______________________ last night." These words mean many different things to different people. There are those who know how to communicate and a "fight" is simply a discussion where each of the participants takes a stand and does not want to give in to the other. But there are those who know nothing about communication. These "fights" are filled with destructive criticism, foul and untrue accusations or very physical - much like the fights you see on television in the westerns when two cowboys go to blows with fists, furniture, clubs, knives, guns and anything else that is available. The aggressor can be male or female. We hear more about the women being abused because statistics show that men are most often the aggressor. When women strike a man they are usually defending themself. Given the difference in body size and the ability to inflict harm, few women would ever take on a man.

So just what is this domestic violence?  This abuse?  According to the Attorney General's office of the 6th Judicial District of the State of Tennessee:

"It (family violence) is any physical or emotional act committed by one person to exercise power and control over another person within a family type environment. This includes any offensive and harmful touching as well as any verbal threats to do harm."

Domestic violence and abuse are not limited to the physical attacks. Rarely does one attack another out of the blue, with no warning that anything was wrong with the relationship. I am talking about verbal abuse, put downs and complaints about behavior. Verbal attacks at the self-esteem and demands to do things that are degrading in nature. Threats of violence against a person or their children or their belongings. Intimidation. A slow and methodical killing of the spirit.

Types of abuse are:





Although the signs of emotional abuse are very difficult to see, this abuse can be far more damaging, devasting to the victim. Emotional abuse can control the decisions of the victim long after the abuser is out of the picture. Without counseling the victim may never recover from this form of abuse.



This is the easiest type of abuse to identify because it usually, but not always, leaves visible signs on the victim. Many victims are treated in the emergency room but are afraid to tell how they got hurt.

  1. The abuser uses their body to bump into the victim
  2. The abuser grabs at and yanks on the victim
  3. The abuser hits, kicks, pushes, pulls out hair of the victim
  4. The abuser uses objects to hit the victim
  5. The abuser uses "lethal" weapons (knives, guns) to hurt the victim






You Gotta Have Heart

"Go to your bosom:   Knock there, and ask your heart what it doth know."
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . William Shakespeare

Domestic Violence Information Depot


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