Tension Building Stage
This is the stage where things lead up to that "walking on eggshells" feeling.
Acute Battering Incident Stage
This is the stage where the violence occurs. The amount of violence in this stage usually builds in intensity with each episode.
Progression of violence:
- pre-battering violence
when abusers hit or break objects or make threats almost 100% resort to battering
- verbal abuse
- hitting objects
- throwing objects
- breaking objects
- and making threats
- beginning levels
- moderate levels
- pulling out clumps of hair
- severe levels
- beating with objects
- use of weapons
- and rape (1 in 3 women in a violent relationship are raped)
- batterer uses weapons to subdue victim
- victim is afraid of consequences of batterer getting angry if they say no
This is the stage where the batterer either (1) minimizes the episode and then apologizes and promises never to do it again or (2) blames it on alcohol, drugs, etc. and promises it will never happen again or (3) denies it ever happened. The batterer is then sweet and kind and gentle for a while and may buy gifts.
If the victim does leave after the battering incident the batterer will do anything it takes to get them to come back. This includes
- "hearts and flowers" (bribe)
- promises to be a good parent (works well if they have neglected the kids)
- finds God (does not take responsibility for behavior)
- will stop drinking (drinking does not cause battering)
- will get counseling (only long term counseling will be effective and less than 1% voluntarily go into counseling).
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