380 Ways To Annoy Your Roommate
Random Things I'm Thinking About Right Now
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Quotes
I've compiled a lot of quotes from school, games, message boards, TV, and other random sources, and here is where I will have them posted. I only put ones I've heard personally, so don't submit any. Also, if you said one of the following quotes and would like to have it cleared of your name, just e-mail me. Thanks, and enjoy!
P.S.: I'm planning on sorting these out by subject, but not now, so suffer.|
"On a scale of 1 to 10, it sucked." -Xander Harris, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Life is a sexually transmitted disease, and it's 100% fatal.
Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening. Anything not fitting into these categories causes cancer in rats.-Erus Klixx
Vive la república de Tejas! Libertad de los Estados Unidos de América!-fubar
No one knows the day they jumped up and said, HEY WORLD, I'M LITERATE!!!!!roxors!!-Garrick Nelson
shes in 8th grade and she hasnt had a birthday yet.8+5 = 13 -Ryan Hinrichsen after being asked "How old is your sister?"
This just goes back to the good old 'liberal' concept that you can solve any problem by raising taxes and throwing money at it.-fubar
"And I'm not a doctor, but I play one in real life."-Jerry Seinfeld
"What have we got to eat?"-Frodo
"Well, let's see. We've got ...lembas, and, oh look! ...lembas."-Sam, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
"Why can't you just deal drugs like normal people?"-Principal Snyder, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
inademate objects cannot be gay-Betsy Lundeen, in response to "my computer's being gay"
"There are so many dumb people in the world, and they don't even know they're dumb!"-Liz Jaede
"Oh no! Tomorrow's our last day in life!"-Anonymous BHS student
"But we're hypocrites. It's the American way."-Tyler Stousland
"Yeah, not like guys. We see something shiny and it makes our day."-Jesse Fredeen
"Yeah, I'm gonna skip life today."-Anonymous BHS student
"Are you intelligent enough to speak?"-Sara J. Mason
"We're watching a movie for life today."-Anonymous BHS student
"Blankety-blank cuss blank cuss."-Mr. X Gerlach, on excessive profanities
"Doesn't each penis look the same when it's fully charged?"-John Daly in biology
"Is he Kwanzaan?"-Sarah Weinberger, on Garrick
"I thought I was gonna throw up in life."-Paul Waller
"That would be true if we lived in a hippie society, which you hate, but we don't, we live in a monarchy, where rich people get all the sausages."-Kyle Lyngstad, arguing with Paul over sausage pizza
"Guns don't kill people, apes with guns kill people."-Robin Williams on Charlton Heston
"And [men] realize, God gave you a penis, and a brain, and only enough blood to run one of them."-Robin Williams on Viagra
"I can't understand going to war over religion. I can see going to war for democracy, principles, or even revenge, but not religion. Going to war over religion is like fighting over who has the better imaginary friend."-Unknown Comic on Comedy Central
"If a guy calls me just to talk, it means I owe him money.""If a woman hadn't talked for a while, it meant she'd been eaten by an animal." -Rob Becker, evolutionary psychologist
"Bye smart kids, leave!"-Mrs. Trowbridge on compacting out
"'We' meaning 'me and all the people in my head.'"-Mrs. Burke, referring to herself
"Now I can start deleting junk every day, as oppposed to every other day."-Alex Thell on e-mail
"Exercises 41-42 involve the power of visualization."-Calculus:Graphical, Numerical, Algebraic by Addison-Wesley
"They're gone for life."-Alisha Ali
"Because salt is always the same chemical, there is no reason to prefer one brand of salt over another."-Economics book
"It's like Ragu, it's in there."-Mr. Ingvalson, calculus teacher
"I didn't forget! I just remembered really late."-Liz Kalinowski
"You shouldn't judge before you don't see."-Mike Reeves
"What are your eyes full of?"-Mrs. Burke
"That's worse than my normal vision corrected."-Philip Kooistra
"A curve has a curve to it, and a line is straight."-Tyler Stousland, explaining linearization to Paul Waller
"I'm pro-murder, but I'm not for killing people."-Ben Wittnebel on 'pro-choice, anti-abortion'
"For those of you who don't know the difference between a violin and a liola, I can tell you that a viola burns longer."-Victor Borge
"Gee, thanks Dyrhaug, you're such a cow!"-Garrick Nelson on Mrs. Dyrhaug, Small Group Communications teacher
"I like happy people."-Derek Weller
there are 10 types of people in this world... those who understand binary and those who dont...-SephirothYuyX, GameFAQs message boards
Take away all of his life points before he does teh same to you.-Klonoa Man, GameFAQs message boards
"Here's my change... I mean your change..."
-Me working cashier
"Your hair is like black astroturf."
-Ian Payne
"I can set Easy Mac on fire. Just don't add water. My microwave caught fire. It sucked. Bad. Really bad. My house smelled smokey like a fiend. A huge fiend. A really really big fiend. I rule at four-square. Muu is moo in spanish. I like corn. It is way better than green beans. Green beans suck. They should be banned from all corners and pockets of the world. I think pool tables should have bigger pockets. It would be easier to sink a ball because I really suck at pool. But not swimming. I was a lifeguard. During the summer when no one came to the pool I would play GameBoy and get paid for it. And I read Harry Potter. A lot. I have read them 11 times. I like 7-11. They have good slushies. Slushies taste good. Slushie sounds like the sound you make when you tell a dog-sled team to go. But that is 'mush!'. Like the stuff they serve Oliver Twist. I hate that kid."
-Derek Weller
i always find so much stuff i never knew i wanted
-Sarah Weinberger on shopping at Target
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Explanation for the profusion of "life" quotes: at Burnsville High (BHS), there's an organization called L.I.F.E. (I forget what it stands for), but when you hear people talking about it randomly in the halls, it's hilarious since at first it seems as though they're talking about life in general.