Site hosted by Build your free website today!

Crises and Conspiracies

I have a new theory. It came from a political cartoon I saw several years ago. It was of a Clinton aide saying "Well, sir, today shall we use the budget to take heat off Whitewater, or Whitewater to take heat off the budget?"

I figure President Clinton decided to do neither. Instead he has been creating a new crisis every other month. People have been running around like chickens with their heads cut off.

First it was healthcare:

"Aah! Healthcare in this country is a mess! We gotta fix healthcare!"

A new problem has been popping up every week or so ever since then.

"Aah! The planet is a mess! We're all gonna die! We gotta fix the world!"

"Aah! The budget is a mess! We're going broke! We gotta fix the budget!"

"Aah! The economy is a mess! We gotta fix the country!"

"Aah! The education system is a mess! We gotta fix the schools!"

"Aah! Daycare is a mess! Kids aren't getting taught enough about how wonderful Clinton is! We gotta fix daycare!"

"Aah! The tax-code is a mess! We need to trash it and build a new one! We gotta fix taxes!"

And most recently, right-wing conspiracy:

"Aah! The Republican partisanship is a mess! All of those radical right-wing fundamentalists are out to get the president! We gotta fix 'em!"

Perhaps we need to consider if it's a left-wing conspiracy to keep a corrupted man in power. Today the cartoon would read something like: "Well, should we use the Monica Lewinsky scandal to take heat off the Paula Jones scandal, or the Paula Jones scandal to take heat off the Monica Lewinsky scandal?" "Neither! We gotta call a committee! Cafeteria food is deadly! Fix the cafeterias or we'll all die!" "Yes, sir."

While some of the crises mentioned are real, namely education, taxes, and the budget, in every case they've suggested more rules and more government spending. It's robbing Peter to pay Paul. Spend more money on daycare, and what will happen to balancing the budget, cutting spending, and lowering taxes?

I have a new crisis to suggest:

"Aah! The president is a mess! We need to get rid of 'im! We gotta fix the government!"

Comments: I wrote this about April 23, 1998. At least, that's what the statistics on the computer thing says. If anything, things have gotten worse since then. I thought this was really funny when I wrote it--it started out as a diary entry--and the part about cafeteria food still makes me laugh. It's kind of sad, though.

Main Page Other Writing From Email Darkrender Contents Glossary Maps