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Stay tuned- we'll be right back after these important insults to your intelligence!

I could rant and rave about television in general, but there are plenty of love/hate sites out for every show from Hometime to Animaniacs. Instead, I'm going to concentrate on what I consider to be the most impacting facet of television: commercials.

There are some good ones, sure, like the Nissan campaign, especially their Ken and Barbie commercial. Unfortunately, these are few and far between. The vast majority of commercials assumes we the public are functioning on 50% brain, eye, ear and wallet power. To offset our semi-coma state, advertisers jam their message down our throats with all the subtlety of a professional wrestler. It is these offenses to our intelligence that I find so endearing and worthy of a page of rants...

Old Woman! Gey Away!
Where washed-up actors go to die...
Old Navy: It's New! It's Hip! Wake Up!
Can this cure my bad breath, or is it more for prostate trouble?
When Gimmicks Attack...
May the Pizza / Fried Chicken / Bean Burritos be with you!
Borrow Your Way Out of Debt!