Henry VI, part 2 | Act 4, Scene 2
The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.
That statement may sound extreme, but after reading the following I did yearn for an honest hempen noose.
Via Volokh (where commenters have a lot to say, and are about to start arguing about coffee), humorist and California judge William Bedsworth comments on the New Jersey college-student-falls-out-of-bed-loft case we covered August 16:
Tragically, "There were no warning labels on the bed, and it had never a€˜cross[ed his] mind™ or a˜occurred toa™ plaintiff that he could fall or that the bed was dangerous in any way. He testified that had he seen a warning, he would have been a€˜aware of the hazard that was present™ and slept closer to the wall, as he had done after the accident. Honest. Says so right in the opinion.
And he had an expert, George Widas, who testified that industry standards in the bed-making industry require that the manufacturer affix a warning a€œthat says make sure that you protect yourself from this fall hazard.a€ According to Widas, the warning label should have had a€œblack letters on an orange backgrounda€ and included a warning that both identified the hazard and explained how to avoid it.
So the label should have said -- in Day-Glo green letters on a phosphorescent-pink background -” THIS IS A BED. USE ONLY WHILE AWAKE. Or perhaps a€œIF YOUR IQ IS NOT THIS TALL, YOU CANNOT RIDE ON THIS BED. Or how about an arrow pointing downward, with the legend FALLING IN THIS DIRECTION COULD BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH. FALL ONLY UPWARD OR TO THE SIDE. ...
I ran across this article on a website called
Overlawyered Chronicling the high cost of our legal system
No truer words have yet to be written.
For the poor individual who needed a warning label to inform him that he might be injured if he fell off a bed?
I have only one word.
Please, PLEASE do not breed, improve the gene pool, by removing yourself.
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