Asclepius clapped his hands "Okay, people. I think Dad and baby could use a little quiet time. Everyone out except... uh... Dad." Everyone flashed out 'cept Ace, Cupe, an' the Freaky Foursome, who were still standin at tha back of tha room. Ace frowned at them, pushin up his sleeves as he got ready ta zap 'em back off Olympus.

I said, "Whoa, Ace. Leave 'em fah a little while. Cupe can get 'em back where they came from in a minute."

Ace looked doubtful, but he shrugged. "I'll be back tomorrow to check on you two, and set up a schedule of visits for little Impetua. Just yell if you need me before then." He smiled, stroking Impetua's downy head, an' tha baby made a questioning sound. "This is the best part of my godhood--this is what makes everything worthwhile." He backed up out of tha baby's line of sight an' flashed out.

I crooked a fingah at tha quartet on tha othah side of tha room, an' they edged ovah. Xena an' Iolaus led tha way, with Gabrielle an' Hercules hangin back a little. "So, Zeen," I said, "Whattaya think of yer new niece?"

Xena leaned ovah tha bed, and tha bandits an' warlords she's always kickin butt on woulda probably dropped in shock at tha tendah expression on her face. "Oh, Strife! She's just perfect. Could I hold her?"

"Just fah a little while." I carefully transfered Imp inta Xena's arms. Once Xena was holdin tha baby, Gabrielle an' Hercules came closah, crowdin in ta have a look. My feelins weren't hurt. Heck, tha more distance between me an' tha Gabmeister an' Jerkulese, tha better. But tha more people who felt protective toward Imp, tha bettah, too, so I didn't say anythin.

"Oh," Gabrielle breathed. "She's so beautiful!"

I started ta say somethin, but I didn't hafta. Cupe snapped, "You don't have to sound so surprised. What were you expecting--horns and scales?" Cupe's eyes were flashin gold sparks.

Iolaus (I wouldn'ta expected it from him, but I guess he's usedta coverin up Jerkulese's social bumblin) spoke up quickly. "I think what she meant was that newborn babies are usually kind of squashed and red looking--lopsided. Some of them even look scaly. It usually takes a week or more for a baby to look so... so... finished, like Impetua does."

Hercules said, "Kind of a disappointing godhood Zeus conferred." When he caught mine an' Cupe's combined glare, he stuttered, "I just meant that there probably won't be many worshippers willing to dedicate themselves to Jealousy."

I sniffed. "A lot you know! I'll hafta get Zeus's official approval, but I think Imp should be tha Goddess of Jealousy an' Envy. She might not end up with a ton of official worshippahs, but I promise ya that she'll have wunna tha best power bases on Olympus. Everyone envies someone, or somethin."

"Not everyone!" Hercules protested

"Yah? Name one."

"Uh, well..." I loved it. Ya could almost see Herc doin a mental scramble. It was like watching a mouse in a boxa wood shavins tryin ta find a hole ta crawl through. Finally he said desperately, "Iolaus! He's perfectly content with things, as long as he's fed regularly."

"Please!" I snorted.

Iolaus was peekin at Imp's toes undah tha cloth. "Hate to be the one to tell you this, Herc, but he's right."

Hercules blinked. "I thought you were happy with yourself."

"I am, but I do envy someone."

"Who?"

Iolaus nodded toward us. "Them."

"What?" Herc an' Gabby chorused. Nice effect. I'm gonna call it 'stereo'. It'll drive alotta people crazy someday, particulahly aftah midnight.

"What?" Cupe an' I were a little quietah, but not any less surprised.

Iolaus shrugged. "You two are obviously in love, you're in a committed relationship, and now you've made a beautiful baby together. Sure, I envy you." I made a mental note ta take it kinda easy on Herc's blond fah awhile. Tha Bimbo Bard, though... I was already drawin up a mental list. I thought I'd start with havin a camel develope a taste fah that bare-midriff top thingy she'd taken ta wearin.

Cupid went ta take 'em back to where we'd gotten 'em from. He took 'em personally, 'cause he was so excited he was afraid he might slip an' materialize 'em in tha middle of a lake or about a foot from tha edge of a cliff (a foot in tha wrong direction, if ya catch my drift). Normally that thought wouldn't have bothahed me much, fah Herc and Gabs, anyways, but bein a new dad was makin me feel about as mellow as it's evah possible fah me to be.

Bliss snuggled up against my side an went ta sleep, I settled down with Imp in my arms, an' I actually dozed off before Cupe came back. When I woke up a little latah Cupe was sleepin on Bliss's othah side. He was on his tummy, but his left arm was thrown across Bliss, restin on my leg, an' his left wing was stretched out ovah me, Bliss, an' Imp, shelterin us. I almost cried.

Imp squirmed a little, blinkin up at me through squinty eyes. "Hey," I said softly. "How ya doin? Hope ya don't think that I wasn't payin attention. I just figured if you were gonna sleep, I'd bettah sleep." She stared at me, with a little crease between her eyebrows, like she was tryin ta figuah me out. I touched tha wrinkles gently. "Don't let yer grandma Dite see ya do that, kiddo. She'll start goin on about wrinkles. Maybe I oughta tell ya about yer family now, so ya know what ta expect, huh?"

"I won't go inta details--there's plenty of time fah that latah," my voice dropped even lowah, "when yer brother an' othah dad aren't around. I'm warnin ya now, kiddo--some of 'em are flaky as Tartarus, some of 'em ain't worth a lead dinar, and there's one or two whose togas aren't too tightly wrapped." I smiled. "I guess I count as one of 'em. But there's some pretty cool one's, too, an' most of 'em have at least some good qualities." I put my lips against one teeny, shell-like ear an' whispered, "Though ta find 'em ya may hafta shovel more shit than Herc did in the Aegean stables."

I heard a sigh, an' Cupid turned his head enough ta look at me. He smiled. "I'd tell you not to feed our daughter such prejudicial opinions--if you weren't right."

Bliss sat up, rubbin his eyes, an said, "Stwife, is Imp's face itchy?"

I immediately got worried, holdin up tha baby ta get a bettah look at her. "Why? You see a rash, Bliss?"

"No, it's just that her was rubbing her face against you."

Come ta think of it, Imp had turned her face toward me, an' been sorta pushin against my chest. Cupid chuckled. "Don't worry, you two. I think Imp is just hungry. Bliss, you've seen when Grandpa's war hounds had puppies, huh? Remember how they all push their noses up against their mama's belly to eat? That's what Imp is trying to do--she's rooting."

"Oh." I looked at Imp. "Um, Immpy, ya sure ya don't wanna, like, grab a sandwich?" Bliss fell ovah gigglin, Cupid put a hand ovah his mouth ta hide his smile, and Imp (Zeus bless 'er), I swear she gave me a 'duh!' look. "Right. Yeah. Time ta open tha dairy, I guess." I looked at Cupid. "This is gonna be so weird."

"You want me to take Bliss out?" he asked softly.

"Um, no. Actually, I'm gonna need all tha moral support I can get." I thought away my tunic. Imp immediately turned an' pushed her face against my skin, her head movin in little wobbles, her open mouth trailin warm dampness on my skin. "Poop, baby. I wish now my chest had gotten biggah, so it would be easiah fah ya." I cupped Imp's head carefully (damn, that hair was as soft as milkweed) an' turned her a little more upright, then guided her toward my nipple.

*glomph!* *slurpslurpslurp*

Whoa! That kid may nevah have seen a tit in her life, but she sure knew what ta do with it when it was presented. "Wow," said Cupe. "She's a fast learner. Bliss refused the breast for almost a full day, and it was another couple of days before he'd really nurse enough." I considahed saying somethin about that kid bein sensible, considerin who (Psycho) was tryin ta nurse him, but I ain't gonna talk down Bliss's mom ta him, no mattah how great tha temptation, or how much she deserves it.

We all watched Impetua nurse. Aftah a few minutes her forehead started wrinkilin again. I blinked an' looked at Cupe. "She feels like she's tryin ta suck my spine out. What suction on this kid!."

Cupid wiggled his eyebrows, smiling, and said, "I could say something about heredity."

I blushed. "Not in front of tha kids, ya couldn't." Imp spit out my nipple, puckered up her face, an' cried. "Crap! What's wrong, sweetie? I thought ya liked it."

Bliss tugged at my arm. "Maybe youse empty?"

I gave tha (now tendah an' damp) nipple a little squeeze, an' nothin leaked out. "I'll be a minotaur's uncle! I think yer right, kid." I carefully swapped sides, an' Imp latched on again like a limpet. Aftah a little while longah Imp slowed down, an' her eyes started ta drift shut, but when I tried ta pull her away, she went at it again. I looked at Cupe an said, "I guess it'll take her awhile ta realize it'll be there whenevah she wants it."

Finally her itty-bitty rosebud lips went slack, an' I eased her off tha booby. She smacked her lips, an' that sent all three of us inta giggles. "Okay, now we gotta get rid of tha air she swallowed."

"Did she swallow air?" Bliss asked curiously.

"Tha way she was gulpin? You betcha. Lessee, Joxer let me practice on Accord, so I should have this down. Ya start off real, real gentle." I laid Impetua on my forearm, lengthways, cradling her little head in my hand. Her little wings were folded up tight, but they relaxed when I stroked 'em, an I managed ta gently part them. Then I rubbed her back right between 'em, an'...

*upp*

Bliss made a superior face. "Scuse you, Imp."

"She can't help it, Bliss," Cupid assured him. "Babies have to burp, or they get fussy. Besides, I think that's the cutest, most ladylike burp I've ever heard."

I shook my head. "Ta think that I lived ta see tha day that a kid of mine was called 'ladylike'." I sighed. "Will I evah live it down?" I laid Imp against my chest again. "I sure hope she likes sleepin on her tummy."

Cupid nodded, reachin ovah ta preen a few of tha tiny feathahs. "She probably shouldn't sleep on her back till she's at least a year old. The bones are still soft."

Bliss cocked his head. "Hey," he blinked, and pointed. "She got no winky."

I almost choked. "That's cause she's a girl, Bliss."

"Oh." He didn't sound like he thought that was a very good explanation. Imp's arms an' legs curled up tight against her body. Bliss frowned. "Is she cold?"

"I don't think so," I said.

"She might be. She's nekkid."

"Yah, I guess we ought ta put a diapah on her before..." I felt a warm trickle down my chest. "Too late--I been christened. Cupe, does it always just run right out again?"

He chuckled. "Hand her over and I'll take care of it while you clean up." I handed our daughtah ovah. While I flashed on a clean tunic, Cupe examined Imp carefully, then flashed a diapah on her. "We'll have to keep it kind of low slung for now."

Bliss was studyin Imp's tummy. "Daddy, Imp gots the biggest outie bellybutton I ever saw."

"It won't always be like that, honey," Cupe explained. "That's where Imp was attached to Daddy Strife."

"Why?"

Cupe looked at me. I smiled an' looked back. "Yah, why? I'd liketa know, too."

"Um, well, you know that tiny babies have no teeth?" Bliss nodded. "The baby had to eat while she was in Strife's belly, but she couldn't chew up food, so Strife ate and got the food all mushy, and then it went right into Imp's belly through a tube."

"Imp ate the same thing Stwife ate?" Bliss looked at me, round eyed. "Stwife, that baby should be big."

I stuck out my tongue at him. "Thanks, brat."

"Anyway, Bliss, when it was time for Imp to come out she didn't need the tube anymore, so Ace cut it."

Bliss pointed. "Why she got a cord knotted on it?"

I piped up. "Ta keep all tha air from leakin out."

"Strife!" Cupe scolded. "They just had to, baby. See, Imp doesn't need that now, so in a week or so it's going to just dry up and fall off. She'll have a little boo-boo for a day or two, but we'll keep it nice and clean. We'll wipe it with wine, because that takes off dirt real good. When it heals Imp will have the cutest little bellybutton you ever saw."

Bliss's eyes were real, real wide, an' he had his thumb in his mouth. He hadn't done that fah awhile, so I knew he was upset about somethin. "Whassa mattah, Blissy?"

He spoke around his thumb. "It just gonna fall off?" I nodded. He looked at Cupe. "Daddy, did I have one of them, and it just fell off?" He nodded, too. A minute latah I hadda bite my lip so hard I almost drew blood ta keep from laughin. I couldn't, cause when ya think of it, it was a damnserious question fah tha kid.

He looked down at his lap, looked up at Cupe, an' said worriedly, "Daddy... nothing else ever falls off, do it?"