Tribute
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: Some Indpendent/Trendy/Unknown Musician
So I wanted to create a post for one of my friends that I feel doesn't get the recognition he deserves. This post is dedicated to the Cuddle Monster himself: Caleb Heeringa. After living with the guy for a year, I feel I am qualified to create such a grand and revealing post about him. The Caleb is a rare and mysterious creature. At times he can be seen downing beer

monkey suiting, shit-dollaring or even staying up past 10 on weekends. At other times, he disappears for weeks at a time. Some scientists speculate that caleb's prefer cave troll like dwellings and newsrooms as they provide perfect settings for hermit-like behavior. Caleb's also possess a higher aptitude for politics and independent music, which coupled with dutchness makes them superior beings. The type of Caleb that is indiginous to the NorthWest area tends to break lent and play guitar...and grow creepy facial hair. Some people may be asking, "How can I tell if I am friends with a caleb?" Well, Caleb's have several distinguishing physical characteristics. Gangliness is one, look for limp wrists and random flailing of limbs. Soft hands is another key feature. Dave Mathews band memorabilia are also common. But the most telling sign of a Caleb is if its carpet does not match its drapes.

But in all seriousness, Caleb is a badass friend. And a pretty stand up guy. Here are some pictures of caleb's adventures here at western and across the globe:

This one was taken when caleb led a rebellion against the Pita Pit when they raised the price of a chicken pita from 4.50 to 5.50. Needless to say, bodies hit the floor.

This next one was taken when caleb was investigating the corrupt AS elections last year. Much like Dick Tracy, caleb kicked ass and took names. AND bagged a hot chick.

Here is a picture of Caleb prior to one of his catwalk appearances. It is a little known fact that Caleb is a male model on the weekends. I figured it out when he gave a friggin AWESOME yagoogaly at some guys funeral. And if you watch him closely, caleb only makes right turns...

Here is a picture that I obtained from travelling into the future. So in the future, Caleb takes down the conservative media and spares nobody. Here he is beating the crap out of human dildo Bill O'Reilly.

And finally, here is photographic evidence that caleb is the sexiest man alive. Screw that Jude Law. British people aren't hot (except for Keira Knightly and Elizabteh Hurley).

SO as you can see, Caleb is a badass. And should be treated as such.

For Shame
Mood:  down
Now Playing: Cake - The Distance
So just in case you haven't seen or heard about this, there was a huge brawl at the Pistons and Pacers basketball game in Detroit tonight. Unbelievable. I don't blame the players. Ben Wallace over-reacted a bit to Ron Artests foul, he could have played it cool. The players need to hold themselves to a higher standard. I mean come on guys, what the fuck? You don't cross that line. I don't fucking care man. You don't do that. Fans, what the fuck guys? You don't throw shit at players or attack them. Come on. We aren't british. GOD DAMNIT. Way to fucking ruin it for the rest of us. WAY TO BE A HOLES! Unbelievable. I'm so sad about this. This really disappoints me. I'm disappointed in the players AND the fans. Whatever happened to good old fashioned heckling? Like rhyming the players name with something stupid? Or making creating funny signs to heckle players. Or even just spouting yo' mama jokes at players. Don't throw beer, don't throw popcorn. What are you people, retarded? Didn't you just pay like 10 bucks for that beer? Wasn't that popcorn like 7 bucks? Who is that dumb to disgrace the game they love? I don't want to sound like some bleeding heart liberal/churchie here but did anyone think of the children? There were kids in the stand that are probably scarred from this. i saw footage of kids crying looking like they had lost all faith in humanity. That is not cool. Not cool. Seriously. Grow up everyone.

5 psych experiments in 1 glorious day
Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: that annoying hum from the computers in the library
So I have just finished my 4th of 5 psych experiments today. Why am I participating in so many experiments? Well because I am an idiot and signed up for two that were worth .25 credits. Talk about dumb. I have spent my entire day on campus and I don't even have class today or the need to study. SO LAME. SO VERY VERY LAME. Also, my hip still hurts. It actually throbs with pain. I have seen myself walking (by glancing at the windows as I pass by) and have noticed that I look like Igor from young frankenstein when I walk. I'm all hunched over in pain with a noticeable limp. I guess I will just have to amputate. Haha.

This is me for the day: Professor Frink...master of all things scientific and psychological.

Much like the Seahawks, the Sizzle are one and done.
Mood:  down
Now Playing: Something emo-ish...I dunno say...anything by the cure
So the sizzle lost. We lost our playoff game. Damnit this sucks. My hip hurts so damn bad. Some A-Hole took out my legs and hit my hip with his shoulder. I should have slapped him and then shamed his mother while he watched but I'm a good person and shook it off and kept playing. So anyways, it rained like a mother tonight, the wind was howling, and it was cold. CURSE YOU OLD MAN WINTER. So without the ability to throw the damn ball, James became the man at QB. He is awesome, scored a td, and another which he was ruled out of bounds on which was total bullshit and he scored it was obvious and the ref fucked it up cause he is a bonerbiting unclefucking cockgoblin. I'm not bitter. Not at all. Not one bit. I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL REF. I mean what? So anyways james had a td, and I returned an interception for a td. Those were our two scores. The other team, which I will call team Bitchrod because we should have destroyed them handily, scored thrice. It was close until the end. Until they scored two unanswered td's. Oh well. Next season is only 300 something days away. In the spring, I vow revenge on the other teams. So help me god I will wreak havoc on the league. The Sizzle will win the championship before I graduate. This I guarantee. GOD DAMNIT I HATE LOSING.
(After winning OT coin toss) We're gonna take it...AND WE'RE GONNA WIN!

Thank god I didn't guarantee victory and then lose. THAT would be totally moronic...

The Weather was a bit odd...

Old man winter was in full force with all his huffing and puffing.

Usually, rain gives people from western washington some sort of superpowers. Tonight it was like somebody had some kryptonite. I blame lex luthor.

So after all these factors combined together all the players on the field looked pretty much like this...

So Caleb. My dear friend. I can't accept your title. I refuse to be the Gonzales to your Ashcroft. See, unlike John Ashcroft, you HAVE succeeded at your position. I'm sorry for comparing you to Ashcroft. You are the exact opposite. Although I'm pretty sure Ashcroft does some monkey suiting. Anyways. The Blogger General needs strong Dutch genes and immense knowledge of indpendent music. While I am dutch, I am nowhere near a music snob. Plus you didn't lose to a dead guy in your election. I think as soon as you are done with your journalism experience, your blog will go back to being the superior website it was and still is. Rantom Banderings wouldn't be any good without E-Caleb. Bring Back E-Caleb. Thats it...I'm starting a petition.

Beyond The Glory : TimTom
Mood:  loud
Now Playing: Behind Blue Eyes - The Who
So now that the Sizzle are in the playoffs, I thought it would be best to do a profile on possibly the greatest and most mysterious player that has ever been with the Sizzle: TimTom.

Little is known of TimTom's birth and his early childhood is only based on speculation and hypothesis. What is certain is that TimTom was born on what would possibly be the luckiest day of all time: 7/7/1977. That many luckey sevens on one day contributed to the utter greatness that was to become TimTom. After living in the highlands of Scotland for his first 5 years, TimTom left with his father to travel around the world. TimTom studied with the greatest scholars, trained with the greatest athletes and held counsel with numerous religious leaders. His journeys took him from the Himalayan peaks to the depths of the Pacific Ocean. Across all continents he traversed until one day his father decided to take him to Ann Arbor to complete his training. In Ann Arbor, TimTom acquired his skill for football and honed his athletic skills at the Universe's premier university: The University of Michigan. Once he passed his Trials (a rigorous test of physical, mental and supernatural skills similar to the jedi knight trials) he decided to attend Western Washington University. There he grew a beard (which signifies greatness in the Tom family, see relatives below) and became rather anonymous. Until last year when fate led him to a flag football scrimmage. There he showed up at the very last moment and saved the day, which is a trait of the Tom family. He continued to do this for the Sizzle all season long. Our performance can be shown on this graph.

Room is actually "field" in this case. He Became a savior of sorts. Nobody knew his name and yet we all knew deep down inside that it was indeed THE TimTom. The chosen one destined to rule all of flag football and possibly the world. If you don't believe me, check out some of the members of his family tree.

TimTomexander the Greaterer-
After Alexander the Gay, er I mean Great died, his empire began to crumble. That is until one young soldier began to rise up the ranks. It seemed as if he came out of nowhere to lead the greeks back to prominence. TimTomikus used his empire to spread the good word of flag football and beardedness.

TimTomatine-
The Holy Roman Empire almost never happened. Constantine was having trouble. All of his followers were leaving him because he lacked a beard and wasn't mysterious BAM in comes TimTomatine. With his mysterious beardedness and awesome flag football play he provided much needed compassion and coolness to Constantine's camp. People joined Constantine in droves and it was all due to TimTomatine. To thank him for his efforts, Constantine named a small city next to Constantinople after Timtomatine.

TimTomington-
Remember when General Washington crossed the Delaware? Well, nobody "remembers" it but it did happen. And Washington kicked ass. However, he succeded only because a young captain named TimTomington used advanced cloaking techniques and jedi battle meditation to fool the british. For his heroic efforts on the battlefield AND for copy editing the Declaration of Independence AND the Constitution, TimTomington appeared on the ill-fated three cent piece.

As you can see, TimTom is beginning to live up to the legacy of his forefathers. Don't be surprised if one day you hear of TimTom becoming the greatest President of all-time. WAY better than Woodrow Wilson. That guy was a pansy.

Footballer of the week
Mood:  hungry
Now Playing: Futurama
So this is another pointless post just like the last one. Living with Brady I am beginning to watch more Football (soccer) than I have in the past. So watching the recent Liverpool game I noticed one player who stood out above the rest. Yes he had an amazing goal, but that isn't why he is my footballer of the week. Joonas Kolkka gets the award for mocking another player that took a dive. After a tackle where Kolkka didn't even touch the guy, this lameass fell down and acted as if he had been shot. Kolkka the proceeded to talk some trash and take a fake dive of his own right in front of this player and the ref. For this awesome display Kolkka is the player of the week. Way to make fun of a total wuss.

I am Peter Griffin...if peter griffin didn't have a butt-chin and wasn't fat
Mood:  quizzical
Now Playing: Love and Rockets - No New Tale to Tell
So continuing with my title, I am Peter Griffin minus all the funny stuff and the animation. So I guess I am nothing like Peter Griffin. Anyways, I found this picture of my sister Dakota, her horse Duke, and Me from the state fair. Enjoy!

I'm not a scientist but this seems worthy...
Mood:  hungry
Now Playing: Lump - Presidents of the USA
So once again I have been scouring the internets for fun facts and useless info and found this. Matt, when you get back, you, caleb and me HAVE to do this. Brady and Ashley can come too.

Prepare for the Apocalypse
Mood:  hungry
Now Playing: Franz Ferdinand - This Fire
So I have been keeping my nose to the grindstone and attempting to pay attention to current events lately. I read this morning that Colin Powell is resigning. That makes two of Bush's high ranking cronies, Attorney General John Ashcroft being the other, that have stepped down after hearing of Bush's re-election. Coincidence? I think not. Ashcroft was the ultimate conservative christian. Does anyone remember that this guy lost the 2000 Missouri gubernatorial decision to a dead guy? He spent over $30,000 on drapes to cover the statue of justice's exposed breast. Do I really need to say more about this guy? Colin Powell. I used to like this guy. USED to. Before the year 2000, Powell seemed like an astute guy, I even respected him. Then he becomes a total fucking sheep and regurgitates all these bullshit lies that the rest of the administration told. I would like to think his conscience got the best of him and he realized the error of his ways. I would like to think that he decided not to go with the Bush program and Bush and his buddies kicked him out for it. I don't know. All I do know is that the people that replace Ashcroft and Powell are going to be even more conservative and crazy. Prepare for all statues being covered in overpriced linen (that is SUCH a fucking waste of tax dollars) and the state department to continue to create bigger and even more far-fetched lies about WMD's and the war on terror. GOD DAMNIT P. DIDDY WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU? Also, kudos to Matt for kicking ass in Ultimate Frisbee. I know for a fact that Brits are total sissies so he must have used his American awesomeness (along with his math/bass playing skillz) to turn those lesser wimps into totall badasses. If only the team was named the Sizzle. Although translated into Welsh, Sizzle would probably be something like Eatsbabies or New York Yankees. Either one is terrible. Stupid Brits. Well, to prove to you what matt is dealing with here I found another map. And a pic proving how much of a badass matt is.

So Matt really is dealing with a bunch of wusses. It is hard to convert an entire Island full of buggerers but Matt is doing it.

Matt is the Ultimate Badass of Ultimate Frisbee. Here he is in a game he played against a bunch of wild animals. After he snatched the frisbee away from this lameass Crocodile, he then insulted it and farted on it and made the beast make him pancakes. Truly badass.

Brady...Your secret is out
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: Franz Ferdinand - Cheating on You
So I was perousing the internets and I found this. Detailed instructions for the chicken dance. Now we can all be like drunken Brady.