So it comes to this...a clipshow
Mood:  hungry
Now Playing: Weezer-Pink Triangle
Yes I realize that it has been two weeks since I last posted. To some people that might SEEM lazy. I prefer to say that I was doing some research to make this site that much better. So turns out being an IA really is as enjoyable as I thought it would be. All my students kick ass. Not one ralph wiggum amongst the group. Jeff is once again summoning the great power that once was the south campus sizzle. This new and hopefully improved incarnation (is that the right word?) of the team will be called the OFF CAMPUS SIZZLE. Feel the wrath that is the Sizzle bitches. While I don't think we have the fanbase that the beastmasters do, or the fat guys wearing diapers, I think we will do ok. Without Matt, our resident techinician/math whiz, our team will be lacking the common sense and calculus skillz we once had. While matt is busy living it up in england, drinking pints, carousing with seedy women, and starting vicious brawls at football (soccer to us americans) games. Must be nice. I'm not envious at all...Anyways, so george and I got jobs at costco. So I guess any free time I did have will be taken up by this job. Not bad though. 25 hours per week at 10 bucks an hour. And the people there are cool. So here is caleb's cue to say that george and I will be rolling around in our piles of money. To caleb I say humbug. Hopefully he will shed his hermit crab shell and venture out of the comm building a few times this quarter. So on to other things. I got a copy of Radiohead's amnesiac album. I haven't been able to stop listening to it. I always hated this album, and kid a. I loved pablo honey and the bends, and of course ok computer. Now I regret having this bias against this album. I guess I was in my shitty rock phase that included limp bizkit and linkin park. Atleast I admit it. Anyways, yeah, this album kicks ass. Somewhere in a little cubicle in the journalism department, caleb is celebrating. I also burned a copy of Weezer's pinkerton album. I have to say this disc is also extremely good and I am disappointed that I overlooked it for such a long time. Every song is so good. It definitely is a different flavor than the blue album, but it is great in its own way. Pink Triangle is definitely my favorite song so far. Good life is also a great song: "When I look in the mirror/I can't believe what I see/Tell me who that funky dude is that's starin' back at me." Such a great line that I say to myself ALL the time. So my wolverines have recovered from their annual first road loss of the season to go undefeated since then. The timing is about right for Lloyd Carr to screw the game up and once again dash ANY hopes of a title. But I have hope. Chad Henne is amazing for a true freshman. And the D is awesome. Braylon Edwards, Jason Avant, and Steve Breaston are untouchable. On to the Lions. The loss to the eagles was ok, they are a great team. Now if only we could find a way for roy williams to touch the ball on EVERY play, then we could have something. DEAR TONY SIRAGUSA: Don't play into Dick Stockton's obvious ploys to start controversy, you are way to dumb for that. And also, try not to suggest that the starting QB for the game that you are broadcasting might be gay because he is articulate and well mannered. That is just a bad move as a tv journalist or sideline analist or morbidly obese annoying onfield interviewer guy or whatever the hell it is that you do. On to baseball. So the evil empire lives thanks to their latest sith lord PAY-ROD. Fuck the yankees. I hope they lose to the twins, or boston, or the Cardinals in the world series (sorry to the fans of the braves, dodgers or astros but honestly, don't kid yourself because your teams have a snowball's chance in H-E double hockey sticks of beating the red birds). Damn the yankees. That pretty much covers my sports section. So now for something completely unrelated, here is a picture of Caleb and I at a teryaki restaurant. Notice the facial hair.

College Version 2.0.1.2se for Bellingham
Mood:  d'oh
Now Playing: Say it Ain't so - Weerez
So I haven't updated in awhile, and some of you (um, caleb) are getting restless. So I guess I will talk about the new school year and the goings on. So I moved into a new place. The lovely villa bonita apartments. And my new roomie is Brady. I think Brady will be an awesome room mate. And he brings Assley Overman over, so that is always a nice bonus. To compliment our bachelor pad I bought a 44" Plasma Tv. Which I think we will waste plenty of time playing Madden and NCAA Football '05. Which is fine with me. I have a bathroom in my room. Which is nice and really creepy at the same time. It is an odd feeling waking up in the morning to evacuate fluids and realizing that you only had to take like 2 steps to get there. I dunno, maybe that is a good thing. So my first day of school had many expected and unexpected happenings. I think my Psych 101 class will kick ass. Mike Mana is a crazy canuck. Which should make class interesting eh? Being an IA will also be great. No, I won't torment poor freshman or abuse my power and make them do my bidding. And I won't hit on any of them, which is actually a rule in the handbook oddly enough. I sat in on two spanish classes. I sat in the corner, on the floor for two hours. Good times were had. Then I went to the book store where I saw Jeffrey. He looked lost/confused/bewildered as usual just staring off at some random point while he was standing at the top of the stairs. I said hello, and he just jumped up and walked away doing his jeffreyisms. It was a glorious day. So now for the ranting. So I was watching the Mariners game the other night. Yes I watched a mariners game. Trust me people, it is NOT that bad. Try being a Lions fan or a Tigers fan. I hate fairweather fans. Pick a team, stick with them, and be a fan. Anyways so watching the game I realized how utterly bad the mariners management is. And Ichiro rocks. So Pat Gillick. Stand Pat as he is called. I hate this guy. I know he is stepping down yadayadayada. But he built this team. What a fuckup. Yes we had success. But aren't you supposed to maintain that? Not become the third team in history to go from 90 wins one year to 100 losses the next. When we were having success we still lacked a potent offense. So what do we do? Go out and get Javy Lopez, or gary Sheffield or Pudge Rodriguez? Nah, lets get Rich Aurillia and Scott Spiezio. Who are decent situational players. Oh, how about getting a stud pitcher, Colon, and a damn good outfielder, Vlad Guerrero? Nah, lets let them go to a DIVISION RIVAL (anaheim). WHAT THE HELL? That is like the dumbest most boneheaded thing you can do. NEVER let a great player go to a rival without a fight. Look how the yankees stole arod away from boston. Atleast Steinbrenner gets it. Build a winner, keep winning, pay to do it. He makes millions because the yankees are always good. Do the mariners do this? No. Lets keep Bret Boone so he can swing from his ass and look like a complete idiot at the plate while he hits .260. I admire keeping Edgar because he is a legend. But why treat Olerud with such disrespect? We have not developed ANY starting position players from our farm system in so long. Guillen came from the astros in the Randy Johnson trade so he doesn't count. Neither does bucky jacobsen. Its been ten years since payrod came up. Almost ten years. Look at all the former mariners. Randy Johnson (to astros for Halama, Garcia and Guillen). Griffey (to reds for brett tomko and assorted crap). Payrod to Rangers for big paycheck and eternal assholishness. Jose Cruz Jr. to blue jays for Mike Timlin and PAUL SPOLJERIC. Or just look at the Red Sox. David Ortiz, former mariner minor leaguer, Jason Veritek and Derek Lowe were traded for HEATHCLIFF SLOCUMB. Remember that guy? Part of the terrible bullpen of the 90's. Anyways. It is time we start spending money on good free agents. Look at the tigers, they are promising to go after every big name guy they can. It is about damn time. All I want is for the mariners to do well. Go Ichiro Go. Singles alone won't win a ballgame without someone to hit some more and a pitcher to shut the other team down. On a completely unrelated note, here is a picture of my dog and cat sharing an apple. Enjoy!

Have you seen my stapler?
Mood:  suave
Now Playing: Under My Thumb-Rolling Stones
So I don't really have anything to rant about today. Just that Michigan better win tomorrow or I will personally dip Lloyd Carr into a vat of acid if they lose. Hmmm...I must a sore loser. Other than that, I think packing stuff has to be my least favorite activity. I don't remember where half of my stuff is, and I don't think I need the stuff I do find. Hopefully Brady left enough space in the apartment for me to put in our new leather couch and chair. And in classic bachelor fasion, they are different colors so they don't match. Which I find solidifies our straightness. Not that there is anything wrong with being gay. Gay is being homosexual, you know being sexually attracted to someone of your sex and of course stealing the rainbow and the triangle from straight people. I say give back the rainbow, and you can keep the colors pink and purple. I think that is a fair deal. I mean, non Irish people don't steal the clover from Irish people. So why should we give up the rainbow? Why isn't this being discussed in the presidential debates? Oh sure, marriage is SUCH a big deal. Lets see, Bush doesn't like gay marriage because it ruins the sanctity of marriage. Since when has marriage been sacred recently? Um, lets see, more people get divorced then stay married. A vast amount of married people cheat on their spouses. A vast amount of people also abuse their spouses. So where is the sanctity in that? I think some uptight bible thumpers need to pull their heads out of their asses and see what is going on. They say it is wrong and unnatural and so on. Why do they care? Yes they have their opinion, but so do gay people. And they have the right to choose their own way in life. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness right? Well, if it is a sin then fine, that is their choice. I'm sure when all you redneck bible thumpers go back home and either beat your wives or cheat on them like SOME people then you can all have a nice party down in hell. God I HATE hypocrites. Almost as much as I hate those asshole abortion protesters. The last day that I was in michigan, I was driving by a church when I noticed that they had a thousand crosses planted in the ground in front of the church. I was thinking, oh how cool they are honoring the troops that died in Iraq. Oh no. These crosses were in mourning for all of the aborted fetuses accross the nation. WHAT THE FUCK? Do these people have any kind of a clue about what goes into a decision like that? Any at all? My guess is that it was a bunch of uptight men that decided to put up those crosses. Because men really have no clue about childbirth. And a man would be that ignorant. That is why women should be able to choose, because men are too stupid to make that type of decision, AND it has nothing to do with their bodies. Wow, for a second there, I sounded just like a manhating lesbian. Or any manhating person. Isn't Cheney's daughter a lesbian? Isn't that just a little weird? You would think since he runs the country that he would do something to support his daughter. Oh well, I think I should get away from this topic before I offend all two of my readers. On a completely different note, I saw an inflatable gorrila at the state fair and thought of Caleb.

I wish I could buy this, Imagine the marketing power this thing has. Inflatable gorrilas can sell anything.

15 Albums/Bands that you should NEVER listen to
Mood:  loud
Now Playing: U2-Where the streets have no name
So even after I ran this idea past caleb, he has either refused to do it or just forgotten. I like to think he refused to do it because he knew I could do it better. Anyways, to compliment Caleb's 15 cd's you should listen to, I have compiled an assortment of 15 band's and/or cd's that you should never EVER listen to under any circumstances. And no, these won't be stupid independent label bands that nobody has ever heard of because I don't try to be some kind of music snob like somebody I know...um, you know who you are. These will be bands that everyone has heard of, which is rather unfortunate seeing as how bad their music truly is. And now, without any certain order or rank, I give you the list-
1. Puddle of Mudd

These guys take sucking to new and terrifying heights. The guy sounds like a very bad Kurt Cobain and he tries way to hard to look like him too. That and the music just blows. I don't need to hear a song about how this loser likes some chick smacking his ass. How about less ass smacking and no more music from you at all.
2. Limp Bizkit
Alright, I will admit I liked half of their first album. But then Fred Durst turned into the biggest sellout/jackass/poser/terrible rhymer of all time. You can't rhyme "here" with "here" (see Rollin') THEY ARE THE SAME DAMN WORD. Plus that song was like a retarded version of the hokey pokey. And anyone that wears a yankees hat, especially backwards is automatically qualified to make this list. Also making up stuff about hooking up with hot girls helps you in making this list. For these pathetic acts Fred Durst should have been first, but I think number 2 fits him much better.
3. Nickleback
This is not the first time Canada has tried to dump their shitty music on us and it won't be the last time. if ever there was an epitome of the term butt rock, these guys would be it. Every one of their songs seems like it was pulled out of the nether regions of someone's bowels. That and they get overplayed EVERYWHERE.
4. Britney Spears
Ok, so she sounds like someone beating a cat while simultaneously running their fingernails across a chalkboard, but I will be damned if she is not that unpleasant to look at. But she doesn't write ANY of her songs, I mean who needs to when 5 swedish dudes churn out such musical masterpieces as "crazy" and "oops I did it again". But she doesn't look bad in a skin tight vinyl suit. So I guess I'm saying look, don't listen.
5. Jessica Simpson
Ok,I'm beginning to see a pattern here. Boobs+Crappy music=SUCESS! Well, I'm sorry but if her lame ass tv show is what is taking the place of music videos then she deserves to be on this list. And according to caleb, she has no soul. Which makes sense since she must have sold it to play up the dumb blonde role when according to her mother she obviously is not (a 160 IQ, which is genius level). I don't buy it. I don't buy her cd's. And shame on her for playing into a sterotype.
6. Justin Timberlake
I am going to just lump NSync and the Backstreet boys with him since he is still carrying the flaming torch of the boy bands. And because, thank god, those two boy bands will never be heard from again. Is it just me or is this guy trying WAY to hard to pattern his career after Michael Jackson's? Boy Band->Solo Career. Then there is the girlyman voice, the ripped off dance moves, and the penchant for little boys. Well maybe not yet. I wouldn't be surprised if Justim Timberlake eventually turns into a creepy looking white woman just like Michael Jackson.
7. Hoobastank
If you take away the facts that they have the worst band name ever, and that they are blatantly ripping off incubus, they would still be a terrible band. I hate that damn song reason or whatever. It sounds WAY to much like an emo power ballad. Emo is bad enough on its own, as is a power ballad, but together, they create a hideous and disgusting creature. Change your name to succubus and become what you really are, and incubus cover band.
8. Simple Plan
This my friends is the definition of emo "punk". Five emo kids from quebec (which says it all right there) whining about girls and pretending to be something they are not. And at warped tour, they said "HELLO SEATTLE" like ten times, even though they were at the gorge.
9. Celine Dion- You know, I won't even post a picture of this hellspawn. She is also from Quebec. Something about being both french and canadian that makes them genetically superior at producing crappy music. Plus she married her manager who is like 40 years older than her. That is just creepy. My heart will go on. and on. and on. and then you want to destroy the radio with a baseball bat, then run over it with your car, then bury the remains and move a thousand miles away from the site. I hate that song.
10. Yanni AND Kenny G. Alright no pictures of these guys. These guys may be very talented at what they do, but why would I want to listen to the music that I hear in an elevator or the lobby at my doctors office. You know that cheezy crap they play...um, muzak. This is the kind of stuff we use to get prisoners to confess down in guantanamo bay.
11. Toby Keith
I'm sorry, but since when does this redneck asshole represent the "heart of the country"? Comparing our foreign policy to putting a boot up your ass is a good analogy, but it is not the american way. This guy needs to be given some concrete shoes and find his way to the bottom of some lake or river where his music will never ever be heard again.
12. Any of those Damn Now thats what I call Music Cd's
If anyone is dumb enough to buy these instead of burning the songs themselves and making their own mix cd is obviously lacking a few chromosomes as well as some brain cells and should not be allowed to breed. I don't want a shitty collection of songs by britney spears and story of the year. Give me a copy of Punk-O-Rama instead. Or anyone of a number of samplers from indie record labels. Why have 5 cd's with the same song on it?
13. The Chipmunks Christmas Album
I can say that these chipmunks sound better than britney spears. Which is not saying much. But I mean the "chipmunks" are probably a trio of carnies or midgets that ended up selling over 500,000 copies of this album. 500,000 people bought this. Unbelievable. People really are dumber than I think they are. What is the thought process behind that purchasing decision? Gee lets buy the album of three cartoon chipmunks that sound like prepubescent boys full of helium. I'm sure it will be a masterpiece and a true auditory experience. 500,000 people bought this. I still can't believe that.
14. Alanis Morisette
I think Kevin Smith got it right buy conveying the message that whenever Alanis opens her mouth, people's heads explode and their chests cave in. Her voice is like a combination of a yodeler and some farm animal. Maybe a duck...I'm not sure yet. Yeah she is a strong women, blah blah blah I don't care. Crappy music know no bounds.
15. Dashboard Confessional
Here is the dictionary definition of emo. Chris Carrabas brings shame to everyone named Chris. How dare he ruin that great and glorious name. Anyone that writes songs about this being the best day of their lives or how they are all alone is a wuss. And it wouldn't be so bad if he didn't write all his songs about the same damn thing. Plus he butchered R.E.M.'s Automatic for the People. And he inspired that lameass who performed before caleb and talked about how his parents never came to see his shows and never bought him a puppy when he was a kid. Wait...I think I hear it...YES it is the world's smallest violin, and it is being played inside the waaaahmbulance. Cry me a river, build a bridge, and get the fuck over it you whiny bitch and stop making shitty music.

Thus concludes my list. Feel free to discuss amongst yourselves.

Tribute
Mood:  energetic
Now Playing: Bouncing Souls-Manthem
Well Matt, this is what happens when you are not around to prevent me from making stupid pictures.

We all hold these truths to be self evident. Here is to hoping that Matt imposes his will onto the Brits just like any good American should.

I always wondered why Matt would disappear whenever disasters would strike and then reappear after all was said and done. Too bad though, because he could never have sex with a chick because it would be like a shotgun blast coming out of her back. Unless he wore a kryptonite condom...and that would kill him.

Many of the things that make up "Classic Matt" are his "isms". Rantom Banderings is one of them. Here are two of my favorites.

So it all leads to why we all really like Matt...Because he has more than one look.

Well, this sums up my picture tribute to Matt as lame as it is. I do hope that he enjoys himself in England. Here's hoping that he joins the ranks of such great knights as Elton John and Paul McCartney. And that drunken matt becomes famous on two continents. And that he remembers to email all of his friends about three times daily. And that we find a way to fill the space left by Matt. I'm thinking about retiring his jersey on the South Campus Sizzle so some other schmuck doesn't take it. Which means matt will have to email with his jersey number.

On a completely different note. Having travelled on a plane today. I was served some "airline food" and I am beginning to wonder what the deal is with that stuff.

Leaving the paradise that is northern michigan
Mood:  quizzical
Now Playing: The Pixies-Where is my mind?
Before I start this rant, I just have to say that this song seems to epitomize vast portions of my life. Anyways, back to the ranting and raving. Well, my summer is over. I leave god's country (Charlevoix, Michigan) for the left coast. While I am looking forward to going back to school (thats right, I AM wearing a pocket protector AND a slide rule) I will miss my home here. Wait...what's that? I think its the world's smallest violin! Sorry, I won't get all emo on you. Besides, I couldn't be matt's friend if I was an emokid. No, I just feel like summing up my summer. And buying a thesaurus (summing...summer, I should know a better word but meh, who cares?). I spent most of my summer outdoors as a mason tender. It was manual labor, and I did my share of grunt work, but it was good work. I went to a wedding and DIDN'T get trashed at the reception. I did that out of respect for my aunt. And because some of my nameless family members (you know who you are) drank enough for me. I went to Detroit, which I would not recommend to anyone. I grew a beard, which made me look like I was thirty so I shaved it off, and now i'm left with a goatee which I'm still not so sure about. I actually got a tan, which is now gone. It wasn't a good look for me. It made me look too healthy. I prefer being so pale that my skin borders on being translucent. Which is why it is nice living in Bellingham where you don't see the sun for 4 months out of the year. I actually lost about 15 pounds which was unexpected considering I ate my dad out of house and home for most of the summer. I managed to hit on a few girls, albeit that I was forced to hit on most of them at gunpoint (at the reception, I'm sorry to that girl, her drunk sister should have never tried to set us up. Can you say awkward kids?) then there was that girl at the gas station, I'm sorry for being shirtless and covered in mortar dust( I got 2 bucks for that one). That girl downtown, I apologize to for yelling "Have my love child" from my boss' truck on a dare. The other one that I hit on, I'm sorry for approaching you and saying my name. How stupid of me for being honest and not cheesy. I should've used my congressional medal of honor line instead. Lying seems to work better with women. Because the truth only leads to pain. Pain like being kicked in the balls, then having to clean up your own vomit afterwards. Thankfully my ego is to the point where it doesn't really effect me if a girl says yes or no because I would rather not even ask in the first place. Hmmm...maybe I should get away from this topic before I turn into Chris Carrabas (sorry for the name dropping). Nah, I can't. Its just to full of humor. Imagine the most awkward, nervous, sweaty person possible. I'm talking the hollywood version of a nerd and then step it up a few notches. That is me around women. Except when I get up the courage to ask one out, some catchy pop song doesn't start playing in the background. And some dude doesn't start a slow clap. And the girl doesn't fall all over me confessing her undying love for me. No, instead I get a laugh and a cold shoulder. DAMN YOU HOLLYWOOD FOR DISTORTING MY VIEW ON REALITY! I hate the title hopeless romantic unless it applies to the bouncing souls song (sorry, name). I don't watch chick flicks by myself...I mean at all. I prefer something like socially inept. Ok now off the subject of my mental handicaps. Um, where was I? Oh the summer. So, I worked, I was unsuccesful with women, I went to a wedding, and I went to Detroit. I did some other stuff. Saw my sister and my two nephews. I am definitely going to wait to have kids now. I saw both my grandmas several times. Its good to see them. Two very interesting ladies. And the big happening of the whole summer...I got to see my dad. Imagine me then add 30 years and a hellacious goatee and you have my dad. The guy isn't just my dad, he's also my buddy. Too much to say. But he did spawn me so he obviously is a great man. Plus he is dutch, which automatically means he is cooler than the average person. Ok thats it, I think the fatigue is making me vulnerable to telling too many personal truths. To the citizens of Bellingham-make preparations for my arrival bitches!

all things come to an end...even road losing streaks
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: The Who - Behind Blue Eyes
Well, while I am still fuming about my Wolverines loss yesterday, I am elated that the Detroit Lions won their opener (I'm serious). And even more impressive, they won on the road, snapping a 24 game road losing streak (an NFL record) that spanned almost 4 years and 3 seasons. The last time the Lions won on the road it was against the Jets back in December of 2000. To put things into perspective here, Clinton was still president and I was a junior in high school. This streak saw two presidents, 3 head coaches, 4 years, and numerous jokes from sports fans across the nation. And the jokes were well deserved. When you go 2-14, 3-13, and 5-11 over three years you deserve to be the laughing stock of the league. Lets go over some classic moments of the streak. Ty Detmer's 7, thats right S-E-V-E-N, interceptions in a road loss (another dubious NFL record held by the Lions). Marty Morningweg's boneheaded decision to DEFER after winning the coin toss to begin overtime. Needless to say the Lions lost. The average margin of defeat was nearly two touchdowns, so you always knew as a Lions fan that whenever they were on the road that we had NO chance in hell to win. But now that era is over...hopefully. Maybe this is the year that Harrington shows everyone that he IS the next great quarterback like some people (me) say he is. Hopefully Charles Rogers didn't rebreak his collarbone (which would REALLy suck) and he can come back to be a dominant reciever along with Roy Williams. And maybe Kevin Jones can get anywhere 4 yards a carry things will be ok. Go Lions Go. Maybe this is the year that they end that 45 year streak of NOT winning the championship. Hopefully.

Why Lloyd Carr should be dipped in honey and thrown into a bear orgy
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: Drunken Lullabies-Flogging Molly
If you cut me, there is a good possibilty that I would bleed maize and blue. I love Michigan Wolverine football and all UM sports. That being said, I am about to do something that would seem like blasphemy to any fan. I am calling for the mutiny of our coach Lloyd Carr, or atleast a painful public scrutiny. If anyone watched the Michigan vs. Notre Dame game today, you will understand why I am so upset. Watching that game pained me to the point where I was screaming obsenities at the screen and throwing my UM nerf football all over the place. Going into the game, Michigan were HEAVY favorites. I'm talking two touchdown favorites. And they were playing Notre Dame who is THE biggest and most hated rival of the Wolverines (screw the buckeyes, I mean who really fears a spotted bean?). Notre Dame was ready, I give them credit, for all of the talk about their program not being able to live up to its storied past, they played their hearts out. Michigan however, looked like they were the high school jv team playing their first scrimmage, atleast the offense did. The defense was good enough. There is no excuse for that. Not when you are playing your rival. I don't blame the players. I blame the play-calling, which funnels through Lloyd. The offensive play-calling was unbelievable. It seemed like every series the players were confined by the play. Then a pattern appeared. A run play up the middle...1 yard. Another run up the middle 2 yards. Another run up the middle 1 yard and punt. This is how the ENTIRE second half went. Third and 16? You would think with the most talented reciever core in the WHOLE of college football, you might want to get it into the hands of Braylon Edwards, Jason Avant, or Steve Breaston. Nope. A run up the middle for 3 yards. This happened THREE times. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me, fool me thrice its time for a new trick. Problem was, there was no fooling going on. Lloyd fooled NOBODY with the terrible plays he called. If something does not work, you do something else. If your starting running back goes down, you see how his backups do, but if they fail then go to your stud recievers. Otherwise, what the hell good are they? This is not the first time Lloyd has done this. Every year since 2000, Michigan has lost his road opener. Every year before the season starts the fans are told this is the year. The hype about a national title rises and then comes to a sudden and excrutiating halt. Before I blamed the easy scapegoat John Navarre. But he did not deserve it. He was a great QB for UM. I blame Lloyd Carr. Every year you lose that first big game. That is not the players fault. That is the coaches fault. Lloyd and his hardon for running the ball and establishing a run game cost Michigan the game today. Hats off to Notre Dame. I hate the Fighting Irish, and I probably always will but they deserve credit. As for you Lloyd, I hope you realize the errors of your ways. I hope you take a beating in the press. I hope it never stops until you stop making moronic play calls. You failed your team and your fans. All for what? Ego? Some raging bullheaded notion about running the ball? Well maybe when michigan loses 6 games and fails to make a bowl game this year people will loathe you as much as I do right now. Did that sound angry enough?

...AND another thing
Mood:  accident prone
Now Playing: Violent Femmes-Blister in the Sun
Like any normal guy I watch a rather unhealthy amount of sports on television. Which explains why I was watching ESPN at 3 am a few nights ago. I was watching ESPN outside the lines or something and this debate about Fred Mcgriff was the topic. For those of you that don't know who Fred is let me fill you in. He is the guy with the huge swing and equally huge follow-through. The guy that was on all of those great Atlanta Braves teams of the 90's. He is not the boisterous loudmouthed me-first athelete that america has grown accustomed to over the last 20 years. He is a reserved man. A great teammate. And he has hit 493 homeruns over a very succesful 19 year career. Back to the show. These "experts" were arguing over whether Fred should get into the Hall of Fame. This one writer flat out said no way. The other guy wasn't as sure. The first guy, whom I shall christen "the sports jerk" based his opinion on the fact that "anybody can hit 30 homeruns nowadays". WHO THE HELL DOES HE THINK HE IS? Has this guy EVER tried to hit a 98mph fastball or a curveball that breaks 2 feet? I'm guessing not. No he prefers to be some high and mighty armchair quarterback and diminish one man's great atheletic accomplishments. Then he unleashes this nugget: 500 homeruns is no longer a great achievement or a benchmark to get into the hall of fame. The rage that this comment sparked inside of me is to great for words. I hate people like this. Granted, more people ARE hitting homeruns today. But answer me this: how many can hit 30-40 per year for the 12-15 years it would take to hit 500? Does anyone want to admit that we are blessed to witness an era with great sluggers? Bonds, Griffey(who I still think is a great player), McGwire, Sosa, Thomas, Thome, Bagwell, Pay-Rod(who should burn in hell) and McGriff and I'm sure that I missed a few. Sure he doesn't crush 50 or 60 in a year. But neither did Hank Aaron. The hardest thing to do in all of sports is to hit a round ball with a round bat squarely. And these guys do it consistently and with more power than most of us could ever fathom. Shame on anyone that questions the difficulty of hitting a homerun or hitting period. I can't believe that idiots like the sports jerk have the power to admit or deny a guy like Fred into the hall of fame. Let the fans vote, make me king and let me do it, do something just get Fred into the hall.

The Intro
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: Muse-Blackout
Well, I figured since Ashley and Caleb both have blogs, I might as well be a conformist and create one as well. I will be honest here and admit that this blog has no real purpose or direction except to post my rants and other incoherent thoughts. While I have no desire to emulate Dennis Miller I feel a rant coming on. This one will be about the upcoming election. No not the Miller vs. Budweiser president of beers race (personally I'd pick Kokanee but that would basicly be like voting for Bud) I'm talking about the big shindig that is the Election for President of the United States. On the "left" we have Mr. Wishywashy John Botox Kerry who has the charisma of a stapler...and that is a stretch. On the "right" we have the compassionate conservative himself, the fearless leader, George W. Bush. I swear he has to be the worst public speaker EVER (people shouldn't laugh when the president is trying to be serious in his speeches). Let's start with Kerry. Several months ago, the democrats had a golden opportunity. People were pissed off about everything related to Bush. They could have seemingly nominated a piece of driftwood and still got him into office. Enter John Kerry. The guy is the epitome of a stiff. That and he can't pick a side of the fence to stand on to save his life. I don't care what he did during vietnam. You can't nominate yourself for all of those medals (checked that) and he obviously did some good things or he wouldn't have got them. So that pretty much eliminates the total b.s. propaganda that is the swift boat vets. I think he was a cool person, I mean he did hang out with john lennon...although yoko ono really brings him back down another peg. He obviously is a smart man, I mean he did marry that ketchup lady. But he doesn't really hold a candle to Dean or Edwards. I think Sharpton could do better but thats just because he'd mess with the system. Way to go democratic party, you got John Kerry to battle for the throne. Nice, real nice. Now on to Dubya. I think he is just misunderstood. I mean all his life he has been given everything:money, ranches, baseball teams(rangers suck by the way), a yale education, oil companies, money, drugs, and eventually the presidency. If you were raised in that environment, wouldn't you act like a greedy little child while you were in office? Oh wait thats right, we all aren't billionaires. Can you blame the guy for finishing his dad's business? Or acting in Halliburton's best interests? Nah. I think saddam is a terrible human being, he killed millions of his own people and he was bad for the iraqi people, and we should have taken him out with the U.N.s help, not like the way W. did. Lying is what this man is best at. That and making really bad decisions and sticking by them. I mean if you have watched his news conferences, he and his cabinet lie and dodge questions in a uniform manner, even questions like what did you eat for lunch he lies about. Okay that last bit about lunch was a lie. And I refuse to be like michael moore and make up crap to make my movie more interesting but you could make up something about bush and chances are it would be true. That being said I hear Bush LOVES tha cock. Essentially it comes down to this:consistent changes of opinion vs. consistent lying. Personally I'm voting for the Libertarian candidate. Screw Ralph Nader he's a jerk. And no I don't know who the Libertarian candidate is. But to that I respond by asking do you know that the Libertarian party existed before I mentioned it? That is because the two parties have made it impossible for a third or fourth party to enter into the system. There needs to be more parties to make the system fair and balanced. What can I say, we all need to be like the fox news channel. Seriously though, screw Bush he had his chance. He messed up in SO many ways...just take a gander at our "thriving-job creating economy". He needs to go. Now that this rant is over, feel free to discuss amongst yourselves.