I'm still waiting p.diddy...
Mood:  hungry
Now Playing: Incubus-megalomaniac (this one's for you Dubya)
So i've come to my senses after my delirious post earlier. I blame the migraine that has been dogging for 4 days now. Something is really not right with that. Don't those things go away eventually? I have never had a migraine or a bad headache for that matter. Anyways, enough of me being a pussy. I'm serious about p. diddy though. Don't be a wuss puffy, put up or shut up man. I know you are proficient with hand guns anyways. So to back up my claim earlier, I found this website to prove me right. Actually, i'm not serious about this. I like to say things like bush will lead to the downfall of society and he hates puppies but this dude takes it one step further. I thought it was going to be a joke but he is dead serious. I think it is funny. There is always a chance that it could be real. You never know. Boy will I laugh at the stupid people that voted for him when the apocalypse comes, and then I will go to hell. But it will be worth it. Just to say nah nah nah nah nah nah...ha ha ha ha ha ha (a little cartman reference there). So watching the tele last night I kept noticing how divided the country really is. Did anyone notice how the two coasts are completely different than the middle of the country? I have a theory about why people in the middle vote republican. Here it goes. So the south, the former confederacy, the midwest and I will throw in alaska. If anyone knows of jeffrey, then you know alaskans are like that one kid in school that was a little off mentally not slow or anything but what are the words im searching for here...socially inept. Yep thats it. So alaska gets a get out of jail free card for this vote. Back to the red states. I don't want to offend you people but I know why you vote republican. You never get to see water. I'm talking oceans. Fuck Florida and the carolinas. People are so dumb there that they think the gods give them hurricanes if they vote democratic. Thats my theory, not seeing major bodies of water. Utah does not count. I mean honestly, mormons, you are not fooling anyone with your cult. Anyone that is dumb enough to believe the story of the latter day saints is not worthy of being counted. Im so tired of this division in our country. We need another political party or four. Look at england and germany. More parties bring balance. We get more of a choice. And I know deep down that nobody thought bush and kerry were the best out there. Um...McCain...hello? That guy would get my vote any day. So anyways, I'm officially succeding from the union and from a breakaway republic called kerplakistan. Matt called dibs on petoria so I had to think about this one. In Mighty Kerplakistan people are free to do and say what they want. Stupid people are banned. No stupid people of any kind. None. Our national animal will be the wolverine. Maybe a three toed sloth. Either way you get a vicious badass animal that will kill in an instant. The national plant will be the cactus because fuck other plants, give me the one with thorns that is dull and boring. The national anthem will be called hippies suck and so do stupid people. I guess I would have to be king. That would mean the detroit lions would move to kerplakistan and recieve government funding to kick ass. Crazy Go Nuts University will be a fine state institution. The mascot will be the mighty dumple (see strong bad emails on homestarrunner.com). Back to my bitching. So yeah, i'm frustrated. So angry. Anyways, enjoy some photos.

So the ragin cajun james carville chills with diddy. I wonder if he sings "the D the I the D the D the Y its DIDDY...hold up". Holler.

So imagine what this must have been like. Here is what this conversation had to be like: "(BEN) So puffy no hard feelings about j.lo right? (DIDDY) Oh fo shizzle my pasty brotha. (BEN) Cool yo. I still wish I could tap that ass though. (DIDDY) Yeah I wrote two songs about her, made her poems, and sent her flowers what did you do? (BEN) I just stood there with my ginormic head and made sad faces. (DIDDY) DAMN NIGGA you really don't have any talent. (BEN) SHHHH! Don't tell anyone. People still see my movies. (DIDDY) Don't kid yourself son. You haven't been good in a movie since Dogma and that is pushin it homie. (BEN) (WHO WOULD BE SOBBING BUT LACKS THE BASIC TALENT TO DISPLAY EMOTION) oh it is so true...why must I be cursed with no talent. (DIDDY) SHHH! Don't tell anyone but I know how to get by. (BEN) REALLY! HOW? (DIDDY) Just take other people songs and put your own shitty lyrics over the beats. Then put yourself in really talented peoples songs and videos to make yourself appear more talented by association. (BEN) So this means... (DIDDY) Remake the lord of the rings and cast yourself as aragorn. Then call it Lord of the Rings: We invented the muthafuckin remix sauron! (LEO) Um...hey...remember me? I was in Titanic...highest grossing movie of all-time HELLO? Basketball Diaries? Gilbert Grape? I HAVE TALENT!

America, I want a divorce...
Now Playing: Fuck Authority-Pennywise
Puff Daddy - You have a LOT of people to kill. With all the hype around young voters and getting out to vote, once again young people proved their stereotype of being lazy and uninterested. 10% of voters age 18-24 voted. WHAT THE FUCK? If that number had been near the nation average of 54% this election would have been VERY different. I hear everyday about how much people hated bush or how much they hated kerry. 54% of eligable voters showed how they felt. Everyone else are fucking hippocrites. Put up or fucking shut up. I'm not pissed about the election. Actually yes I am. I knew Bush would win. I know that there are enough dumb people that have bought into his bullshit. He preaches moral values. Riddle me this batman? When does he FUCKING show them? Hmmm? Still waiting? Give me ONE example. Still Can't? See, I know how to win an election now. It is pretty simple. All you have to do is talk. Just talk about having moral values and religion and people will think you have values and religion because people are stupid. Bush uses faith...correction Bush abuses faith. He claims that he is religious. He claims that influences his decisions. You know what? Aren't church and state separate? Aren't we fighting people that use religion to influence their decisions? He says he talks with god. You know what. I think george bush is the anti christ. Hear me out on this one. He gets elected to a second term despite going to war(please don't argue with me on this you are wrong...trust me) on false pretenses. There are more terrorists now than there were prior to 9/11 (see state department stats). The economy is for shit. His tax cuts (and once again you are wrong if you oppose me, don't even try) didn't do SHIT. Lets scratch our own backs (rich people...kerry included) and piss on the working class. Remember trickle down economics? This proves that the american people are dumb. Trickle down. The rich get everything and whatever slips through their hands the poor can have. The trick is convincing the poor that they have the power and they trickle down onto others. But I digress. Back to my bitching. The environment. I'm NOT a fucking hippie so don't fucking call me one but jesus tapdancing christ people how can you not care about it? Bush is the worst...WORST president EVER of all-time in history when it comes to the environment. This isn't even close. People this isn't a petty protest issue, this is a human life issue, a quality of life issue. My hat is off to bush for doing other things to distract the public from the environment and making people that call him on it seem like evil unhappy people. Well George I am unhappy, and if you want evil, wait until you try to reinstate the draft. Thats when shit goes down. Thats when the canadian population increases astronomically in the 18-25 age group. I have decided to become a politician once a graduate and make some money or marry a rich woman. I mean if W can get elected TWICE I can get office somewhere. GOD DAMNIT people. What the hell is wrong with you america? Why are you so stupid? Why is there such a herd mentality? Why do christians feel obligated to vote for bush? Seriously, this is pissing me off. Christians...and I need to be careful not to offend 3 billion people here...pull your heads out of your asses. How do you equate being a caring, good, honest person (which is just some of the great things about christianity and religion in general) with HAVING to vote for bush? I have heard so many christians say that they have to be good christians and vote for bush. I can't even form a coherent sentance that expresses the vast amount of anger/rage/and disgust I feel when I hear something like that. Where in the bible does it say to vote for bush? Since when do christians associate with republicans? Remember that guy Jesus? He was a decent guy right? Remember how he totally rebelled against the establishment? How he wanted change? How he voiced his opinion about it? How he did something about it? How he preached peace and love for your fellow man? Isn't what he did and preached the basic foundation of christianity? Does any of that sound like republican ideals? Does it sound like anything that bush has done? Um, just to help you out here the correct answer is NO! So how do christians follow this guy and this party? Please tell me. Aren't church and state separate? What the fuck is going on here people? Please tell me. Please.

My guide to the Presidential Elections
Mood:  cool
Now Playing: Letter Bomb-Green Day
So with all this talk about swing states, undecideds and voting controversy (see ohio with the suppresion of democrat votes or Nevada with the disposal of hundreds of voter registration forms...all democrats. Hmmm...seems like kathryn harris is a busy woman) I have decided to do my part in helping voters decide between a giant dueche (john kerry) and a turd sandwich (george w. bush). Thank you south park. Anyways, so after weeks and months (actually hours) of scouring the internets (bushism) I have created a slideshow type of deal that will make fun of both candidates. Hopefully you will come to your senses by the end of it and vote for Kerry. I mean what? Who said that?
A vote for Bush is a vote for an animal hater. He drops puppies in front of school children and then laughs about it. Then he pees on the kids like R. Kelly.

A vote for Bush is a vote for a moron. Just see his test results. For Shame President Bush for shame.

A vote for Bush is actually a vote for carl rove. In case you haven't seen or heard about this check out the wire running from Bush's ear down his back. Rove is the puppetmaster. Bush is the lovable idiot.

A vote for Bush is a vote for his lying cronies. That Ann Coulter is one hot right wing wacko. Further proving my theory that all women are stupid when it comes to politics and they should be put on a chain that allows them to go from the kitchen, to the bathroom and then the bedroom. Was that sexist?

A vote for Bush is a vote for Cheney. And who doesn't like a man like Dick? I know I like to be threatened with a possible terrorist attack if I vote for Kerry. Smooth. Real smooth.

Remember when he (cheney) said that he had never met Edwards prior to their debate? Photographic proof that this was a TOTAL flippin lie.

Ever wonder why Bush has such a hardon for war? I did, then I started looking at pictures of Bush. I now know why he is trying to rule the world...

I mean honestly, who didn't know that Bush had the ring of power. How else could he trick Blair (playing the role of king theoden) into doing his will? Well, here comes the cavalry to rescue middle earth er I mean the U.S.
Its Treebeard or John Kerry if you will. He also looks a lot like some other well known figures.

Remember when Kerry chose edwards as his runningmate? Remember how they were really IN to eachother? I do.

I don't know about you, but I want my president and VP to dress up like the ambiguously gay duo. Or batman and robin...

Remember, a vote for Kerry is a vote for the Botox union.

Kerry and Edwards both made their money by being lawyers (well not Kerry) but they were both lawyers. Which may or may not be a good thing.

so what about that global test?

So about the waffling/flip-flopping issue. Who doesn't change their minds? I know I change my mind all the time. Vote Bush. I mean Vote Kerry. Did I just say Vote Bush? Excuse me while I go slit my wrists and listen to dashborad confessional. Onto the flipflopping.

I don't know about you, but I want a smart president. I define smart in many different ways. John Kerry is a smart man. Marrying an extremely rich woman for her dead husbands money is VERY smart.

Vote for Kerry because he loves Quizno's!

But what it all boils down to is this: what are the differences between the twoand do you agree with them? Bush went to Yale. Kerry went to Yale. Bush is a member if the elite skull and bones club. So is Kerry. Bush lies about everything, but he is consistent with his lies and he stands behind them. Kerry lies about everything. But he doesn't stand behind his lies and he promises to lie differently. Bush is isnanely rich and tries to appeal to Nascar dads. He comes off as a west texas bumpkin. HE IS NOT. Kerry is insanely rich. He tries to appeal to rational people that are not weak minded and easily fooled by Bush and his cronies. He comes off as an intellectual. Which means he is a dick to the common idiot.

SO you see, we really are voting for the same thing. Not really. Bush is an a-hole. He is a terrible human being and a terrible president. And he hates puppies. Bring down the ring of power! VOTE KERRY!

HAIL TO THE MOTHA F'N VICTORS!
Mood:  accident prone
Now Playing: Burnin' Hell-John Lee Hooker and Ben Harper
So i'm still battling that damn headache. Good Times. SO anyways, if you did not watch college football yesterday, you missed one of the most amazing comebacks of all time (for college football). I missed this too (thank you costco). But from what I have read, watched on tv, and heard from my dad I will tell you of the game between Michigan and Michigan State. The battle for Paul Bunyun's Axe (thats what the winner gets) was a great one. The Spartans (MSU) got off to a hot start thanks to Tailback DeAndra Cobb and Stud QB Drew Stanton. Cobb ended up with 204 yards rushing. Including two 60+ yard runs. Stanton got hurt in the second quarter leaving after compiling 80 yards passing and 90 yards rushing. His replacement, 5th year senior Damon Dowdell did will. Leading the Spartans to a 27-10 lead with 6:37 left in the 4th quarter. Thats when the Wolverines became the hand of god. Or should I say Braylon Edwards became the hands of god. The man ripped away a td pass from the hands of a defender to bring the wolverines to a 27-20 deficit. Then after a miracle onside kick recovery by backup fullback Brian Thompson, the wolverines again marched down the field and scored. Incredible? no. More like flippin amazing. That sent the game into Overtime. Cue cheesy dramatic music and cut to highlights of the game. Braylon Edwards again made a few catches that were nothing short of spectacular. Not to be outdone, Jason Avant made a td catch in the back corner of the endzone while keeping a foot in. Amazing. This is the same guy that made a DIVING one handed td catch against Northwestern last year. Michigan goes for a 2 two point conversion in triple overtime and gets it. MSU's last chance hail mary sails over the head of it's receiver. Cue hail to the victors and the big house (michigan stadium) going absolutely nuts. If my dad says it was one of the most amazing comebacks he has ever seen, I will agree with him. The man watches a lot of football. I feel ashamed that I missed the game. BUT I was with the team in spirit. Now for a picture review of some key players in yesterday's game. Oh and if I haven't siad this before Congrats to the Redsox for winning the world series. That was pretty anti-climactic huh?
First we have Braylon Edwards. Coach Carr says he is the best football player in the country. I concur. The man willed the Wolverines to V-I-C-T-O-R-Y. And he became UM's all-time leader in receptions and recieving yards in the game passing the immortal AC Anthony Carter. Anytime you lob the ball up to him he comes down with it. Doesn't matter if the entire team's D is covering him. He truly is number 1.

Now on to the freshman stud's. I will start with Mike Hart. The guy is second all time for career high school rushing yards with 11,023 (only 130 or so behind the leader some dude from texas who played in the 50's). He finished with 204 career td's. And he still wasn't considered the best prospect (okay so adrian peterson is showing why he was the best). But he slipped under EVERYONE's radar. And now he has three consecutive 200 yard rushing performances (he had 224 yesterday). The guy is tough. And he will be with the Wolverines for atleast 2 more years.

Now onto the glory position, the quarterback. At the beginning of the season, the Starter was supposed to be redshirt sophomore Matt Gutierrez. He hurt his shoulder so in steps Henne. The guy is just like every other great UM QB. Tall, Smart and Accurate. And he has a cannon for an arm. He went to the same high school as Kerry Collins. He started all four years in high school (just like mike hart). He has done an amazing job this year. Improving each game. I tip my cap to Chad Henne. Being the QB at Michigan is a tough job. Lots and LOTS of scrutiny (just ask John Navarre). He is asking for trouble by wearing number 7. Last worn by golden boy Drew Henson. And before him by the first freshman QB to start for the Maize and Blue: Rick Leach back in '75. Henne has his work cut out for him. I wonder if he can hold off Gutierrez and his backup Clayton Richards for the rest of his career at Michigan. I say keep him in. He is the man.

and finally, I leave you with Sparty the MSU mascot. He won mascot of the year for 2004. He is the man. They modeled his chiseled features after a picture of me. The chin, however, is NOT mine.

Sparty Looks pretty crushed out. I think it is because he just found out that mascots, like angels, don't have genitalia.

silly things and migraine headaches
Mood:  accident prone
Now Playing: she's a rebel-green day
So after perousing the internets for awhile I found some cool stuff. Most of it was on brady's blog. Some of it was found by random web surfing. One of my new favorites is the alanis morrisette song generator. click here I went there and created this gem. I think it is a musical masterpiece.
"I Think"

I Think places are really a huge problem
I Think things are too much on my mind
I Think hackey sacks have got a lot to do with why the world sucks
But what can you do?

Like a magenta rain, beating down on me
Like a socrates line, which won't let go of my brain
Like jabba's ass, it is in my head
Blame it on hippies
Blame it on hippies
Blame it on hippies

I Think beanies are gonna drive us all crazy
And colleges make me feel like a child
I Think caleb heeringa will eventually be the downfall of civilization
But what can you do? I said what can you do?

Like a magenta rain, beating down on me
Like a socrates line, which won't let go of my brain
Like jabba's ass, it is in my head
Blame it on hippies
Blame it on hippies
Blame it on hippies

Like a magenta rain, beating down on me
Like jabba's smile, cruel and cold
Like socrates's ass, it is in my head
Blame it on hippies
Blame it on hippies
Blame it on hippies

I swear to you that I did not plan that line about caleb, it just put his name there. Oh so funny. Another thing on brady's blog was the cyborg generator. Here I am as a cyborg:

Acronym and all. Too bad it couldn't be something like cool hunky really innovative stud or clever hot really intelligent hunk. I dunno. I'm still psyched about being a cyborg.

For every dizzying high, there has to be some terryfing lows...and creamy centers
Mood:  down
Now Playing: Baba O'Riley-The Who
Just as I opened my big mouth, my foot finds its way into it. One week, the sizzle is on top of the world, cruising to a 44-6 victory (which really was awesome). Then this week we go in, get crushed something like 32-14. It was a massacre. We couldn't do anything on D. I couldn't hit any open man. Every ball I threw was like 8 feet over their head. Sad really. I did throw a nice bomb to James. That guy was awesome. He came in at QB after I stunk it up and did a nice Michael Vick impression. Running for first downs, passing for a few. He was impressive. I sense a QB controversy. Like Tennessee with Brent Schaeffer and Erik Ainge (Danny's nephew). Or when they (tennessee) had Peyton Manning and Todd Helton (yes that todd helton the rockies all-star 1B). Both were all-americans but one went on to be the NFL MVP. Or New England with Tom Brady and Drew Bledsoe. Maybe not quite as epic but still. The Sizzle is an important thing. Somewhat important. I think we went into this game totally unorganized. But actually this is what we always do. And sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I guess this week our slacker skillz didn't pull us through for the dubya. Damnit I played like shit. I blame myself for the loss. Everyone else did a good job. I didn't get any sacks when I was on D, then on offense I let the opposing defense beat me like a redheaded stepchild. Damnit. Sorry matt. Hey atleast we won one game so far this fall. I have hope for next week. How about those red sox? Pedro really kicked some ass. The cardinals are getting f'd in the A. I think Boston needs to lose the next two games so they can go back to Boston and win it at home in front of their fans. That would only be fitting. But winning the world series is an impressive feat no matter where you win it.

Green Day presents American Idiot
Mood:  lucky
Now Playing: Green Day - Holiday
Like I eluded to at the end of my last post, I promised I would review the brand spanking new green day album American Idiot. I like to consider myself a conniseur of music, that is I try not to discriminate against any types of music (except country and the list of 15). I give everything atleast one chance. That being said, I was a bit skeptical of this album. Warning was not a good disc. Rather bland. Green Day seemed to have lost their edge. Well this album certainly has an edge. Not the razor sharp punk-pop perfection that was dookie and insomniac but rather a more refined edge. Not blunt like a baseball bat but a nice curvature of sorts. This album is a big departure from their previous stuff. The whole album paints the picture of suburban america and some of the characters in it. The whole "opera" centers around a suburban youth and his experiences in a pretty fucked up society. To really appreciate this album, you need to know that it is a rock opera. If you haven't heard or seen the movie, check out The Who's Tommy. They also did a few other rock operas but Tommy was the best. They cast musicians as the lead roles. Which I think Green Day is trying to do with this. I think that would be badass. This is actually a good story. Disenfranchised culture, confused youth, manipulative authority. Good drama and emotion. Ok, so now that you have an idea what this album is about, let me review some songs. American Idiot, the first track and first single (I think), is pretty good. It really is a unique song on the album. If it weren't for the political message it would fit in with any of their earlier albums. My personal favorites are Holiday, Boulevard of Broken Dreams and Give Me Novacaine. I like all the songs. There or two 5 part operettas, the 9 minute long Jesus of Suburbia and Homecoming. Don't let the length of the songs fool you, they are actually just 2-minute bits sandwiched together. And they kick ass. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I doubt radio will ever play it, but fuck radio, AND the fcc. Had to throw them in. The album is pretty long, I think it is over an hour long. Atleast thats how long it took me to play a game on madden while listening to it. I think I've listened to this album 7-8 times since I bought it. It really is a good album. It is definitely the most green day sounding or "punk" sounding album they have done in awhile. Now, for those of you people who deem everything to be "emo". Well, you will probably call this emo, but that is just because everything is emo, even music that is completely void of any emotion. Is that even possible? Isn't all music really an expression of emotion? Why did the whiny losers have to get labelled with emo. Why isn't their crap called My parents never got me a puppy music or My imaginary girlfriend dumped me so now i'm a sad panda music. Emo shouldn't be a negative label. Weezer is emo. But Weezer kicks ass. Unlike Chris Carrabas who just sucks ass. Oh well. Fucking emo. Anyways, check this album out. If you don't like it, oh well, atleast you gave it a shot. If you do like it, congratulations you are a superior human being that enjoys life.

Oh, and for those of you that aren't paying attention, the BoSox are up 2-0 in the world series. Fucking Awesome.

Can you hear that? Listen VERY closely...
Mood:  energetic
Now Playing: green day-st. jimmy
Wait...I think I hear something. Can you hear it? I think...I think it is...YES it is the world's smallest violin. Aw and its playing for the yankees. How sad. That makes me a Sad panda. Wait, I hear something else. Yep, it is hell freezing over. Damn, who would have ever thought that the red sox could come back like this. They creamed New York in game seven. Johnny Damon has become a god, if not some other figure of biblical proportions. David "big papi" Ortiz is huge in every sense of the word. The man is just plain big. And he hits in the clutch. AND he used to be a mariner minor-leaguer. Derek Lowe and Curt Schilling both pitched amazing must win games. Schilling is officially the man for pitching 7 unbelievable innings on an ankle that was suchered (sp?) together to hold the ligament to the bone. He was bleeding through his sock the whole game. Damnit thats awesome. This win can compare to only one thing...Star Wars. The fall of the evil empire, the rise of the jedi, and the eventual shitty prequals that don't live up to the hype but have hot chicks (natalie portman...is there anyone hotter? Maybe Keira Knightly. Maybe. And she was a double for portman in the first movie) So hot. Anyways. So I used my MS Paint skillz to create some rather lame, but funny pictures relating star wars to the alcs. GO SOX. WOOO. We're going streaking...we're going streaking through the quad! Sorry, I have NO idea where that came from. Idle hands.

Ok so this has nothing to do with star wars, but it is SO obvious that I had to do it. Damon of Nazareth. The man has supernatural powers of beardedness. Must GROW FACIAL HAIR.

So this took me over an hour to do. Partly because I had to find pictures of Manny, Damon, Pedro, Jeter, Steinbrenner and Payrod, and partly because Ashley kept dropping ass. Not really, but it sounds funny. Dropping ass. Just say it, its impossible not to laugh. Say it. Anyways so yeah, I left out ortiz, and he would make a perfect jabba the hut, or jabba the ortiz if you will, but I got lazy. And Jeter fits the profile better. A big name guy that gets way too much credit for what he does and is feared for really no reason. The guy is a putz. OVERRATED. Steinbrenner as the Emperor is obvious, as is Pay-rod as Vader. Pedro as Lando felt right. A guy that betrays han, and then comes back when needed. Think about it. Pedro comes in, BLOWS against the yankees, then somehow cranks up the fastball to 98 (which he hasnt done ALL season) and finishes the inning. Manny as han is an easy choice here. The guy is cool, he is the man on that team. Sure he looks like an idiot in left field, but he is shifty, gets the ladies and is always clutch. Damon as Skywalker has to be. He denies being the man, letting others take the spotlight like Bill Mueller (chewy) or Kevin Millar (possibly Obi-Wan although Griffey fits that role better). All along you knew he had the power and then BOOM he brings down the empire. FUCK YEAH. GO SOX. Greatest comeback EVER. Period. End of story. Anyone who argues against that has some severe mental deficiencies and is quite possibly lacking a soul. Thus concludes my post. Coming soon: a review of green day's new album American Idiot. Preview: Green Day makes a Punk Rock Opera? Think THE WHO with TOMMY.

THE RETURN OF THE SIZZLE
Mood:  hungry
Now Playing: lipstick tourniquets-vendetta red
So I will avoid my usual sports wrap up and ranting for this post. This post is solely for the purpose of spreading propaganda about the Off Campus Sizzle. This being the new version of last year's South Campus Sizzle. We have dave, jeff, me, and chris back from last years team. There are some new editions, Kyle and Alec, both from Whidbey. SO anyways, about the game. The sizzle played Mac-Attack. Think mac as in pimp, not mac as in fruit inspired computer company. The game started off well enough, an interception (a reoccuring theme throughout the game) by the sizzle led to a td catch by chris richards. Another sizzle pic led to another chris richards td. Chris was by far the mvp with something like 3 pics, 2 tds and a couple extra points. Then a circus of the foot interception by alec was returned for a td. So far so good, 18-0. Throw in a beautiful full field td pass to kyle and the sizzle begins to initiate cruise control. Mac-attack scores near the end of the half to give a 38-6 halftime score. After orange slices and capri suns, we get the ball to start the second half. Quick downfield strikes to dave, chris and alec lead to a JeffDawg td reception and the end of the game thanks to the 35 point mercy rule. Final score 44-6. Td receptions by chris richards, jeffdawg, kyle, and I think dave. We really had everything going for us. It feels really good to win big after getting smacked down a few times in the fall last year. Good times were had by all. I did alright, nothing fancy. Having chris and kyle on the outside really made it easy. Those guys can outjump and outrun just about anyone. During the game it seemed like there was this magical aura around the sizzle. Like some secret formula helped us win. In order to solve the mystery that is the sizzle, I have come up with a formula (with pictures) that explains why we are so hot right now...and why we rule at flag football for the moment.

This is our goal. Yes it is a t-shirt, but you can lord it over people. Duh...

the pigskin plus...

flags of course=flag football. But why is the sizzle such a success? For the answer to that we must dig deeper...

Mojo is a key ingrediant. Being the really, really, ridiculously good-looking guys that we are, mojo is a given.

Schnapps for Schnappasaurus, without some sort of secret potion, the sizzle would fizzle.

All players live off campus (except kyle, but fairhaven is pretty much off campus). High concentrations of sizzle can be found off campus. Contributing to our pure awesomeness.

And finally, the biggest reason why we rule so hardcore is because our core players grew up on whidbey island. Something about counting trees all day and driving down roads that lead to nowhere that makes you a badass flag football player.
Thus concludes my first post of the Sizzle. I hope it was enjoyable AND educational.

They Call me MR. Saturday night...
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: glow-alien ant farm
So as I sit here watching the vikings and saints duke it out, I can't help but realize how BAD commercials are today. Ok sure, some beer companies and jack in the box get it, but everyone else SUCKS. Especially mcdonalds. I don't want your crappy burgers and justin timberlake doesn't make me want them any more. Skinny white guys that think they are michael jackson are not funny. Give me commercials with ferrets or secret code languages. Anyways, so the weekly sports wrap goes like this: Saturday was another grand day for michigan football. The Spartans (MSU) kicked the crap out of minnesota. The poor golden gophers, two years in a row they play michigan and michigan state and two years in a row they lose both times. Sad really. Actually no. So Drew Stanton, golden boy, finally shows spartan fans why he is the chosen one. Yes Drew Stanton, prototype quarteback, passed for 308 yards and rushed for 102. He even caught a 4 yard pass. Drew Stanton, Mr. Versatility, had major reconstructive knee surgery in the spring. Drew Stanton, human miracle, battled two other QB's while still rehabing his knee this fall for the starting job. Drew Stanton, god's gift to Spartan Football, finally gets his day in the cold gray michigan winter. Good for him. Good for the spartans. My beloved Wolverines also won 30-19. And for a while they looked completely out of it. Being down to lowly Illinois for some time. Illinois being the team that has not won a big ten game in 2, yes T-W-O years. Anyways, so Mike Hart, stud freshman running back (sorry I'll stop with the name thing now), ran for 234 yards. Now UM is 11th in the nation. Slowly creeping back into contention. Wisconsin shares the lead in the big ten with Michigan. Unfortunately, they don't play eachother so this could lead to one of those total BULLSHIT split titles. I'm not still bitter about Michigan splitting the title with FUCKING NEBRASKA in 1997. That was total bullshit, that michigan team would have SPANKED the cornhuskers. Charles Woodson was a DB and he WON the heisman that year. Not some schmuck option QB from Nebraska (see Eric Crouch). Anyways, on to other things. The Red Sox are getting beaten like some redheaded stepchild/sweatshop worker. I really hope the yankees lose. Um...work is good. Can't really argue with that. So I saw Team America: World Police the other night. I Swear this is one of the funniest damn films I've seen in a long time. Everything that Trey and Matt (south park guys) do is hilarious. Who would have thought that marionettes would be funny? Well they are. My ribs hurt from laughing so hard. This movie is so funny on so many different levels. The obvious dick and fart jokes, the political jokes, and the obvious spoofing of jerry bruckheimer (sp?) and michael bay. The people that brought us the utter disaster that is Pearl Harbor the movie among others. Go see it, and be prepared for some funny shit. So thats it for this post. No funny pictures or lengthy rants. Go enjoy what is left of the night. Don't be like caleb and go to bed at 9 on a weekend. Lame. SO lame.