Mood:
loudNow Playing: Behind Blue Eyes - The Who
So now that the Sizzle are in the playoffs, I thought it would be best to do a profile on possibly the greatest and most mysterious player that has ever been with the Sizzle: TimTom.
Little is known of TimTom's birth and his early childhood is only based on speculation and hypothesis. What is certain is that TimTom was born on what would possibly be the luckiest day of all time: 7/7/1977. That many luckey sevens on one day contributed to the utter greatness that was to become TimTom. After living in the highlands of Scotland for his first 5 years, TimTom left with his father to travel around the world. TimTom studied with the greatest scholars, trained with the greatest athletes and held counsel with numerous religious leaders. His journeys took him from the Himalayan peaks to the depths of the Pacific Ocean. Across all continents he traversed until one day his father decided to take him to Ann Arbor to complete his training. In Ann Arbor, TimTom acquired his skill for football and honed his athletic skills at the Universe's premier university: The University of Michigan. Once he passed his Trials (a rigorous test of physical, mental and supernatural skills similar to the jedi knight trials) he decided to attend Western Washington University. There he grew a beard (which signifies greatness in the Tom family, see relatives below) and became rather anonymous. Until last year when fate led him to a flag football scrimmage. There he showed up at the very last moment and saved the day, which is a trait of the Tom family. He continued to do this for the Sizzle all season long. Our performance can be shown on this graph.
Room is actually "field" in this case. He Became a savior of sorts. Nobody knew his name and yet we all knew deep down inside that it was indeed THE TimTom. The chosen one destined to rule all of flag football and possibly the world. If you don't believe me, check out some of the members of his family tree.
TimTomexander the Greaterer-
After Alexander the Gay, er I mean Great died, his empire began to crumble. That is until one young soldier began to rise up the ranks. It seemed as if he came out of nowhere to lead the greeks back to prominence. TimTomikus used his empire to spread the good word of flag football and beardedness.
TimTomatine-
The Holy Roman Empire almost never happened. Constantine was having trouble. All of his followers were leaving him because he lacked a beard and wasn't mysterious BAM in comes TimTomatine. With his mysterious beardedness and awesome flag football play he provided much needed compassion and coolness to Constantine's camp. People joined Constantine in droves and it was all due to TimTomatine. To thank him for his efforts, Constantine named a small city next to Constantinople after Timtomatine.
TimTomington-
Remember when General Washington crossed the Delaware? Well, nobody "remembers" it but it did happen. And Washington kicked ass. However, he succeded only because a young captain named TimTomington used advanced cloaking techniques and jedi battle meditation to fool the british. For his heroic efforts on the battlefield AND for copy editing the Declaration of Independence AND the Constitution, TimTomington appeared on the ill-fated three cent piece.
As you can see, TimTom is beginning to live up to the legacy of his forefathers. Don't be surprised if one day you hear of TimTom becoming the greatest President of all-time. WAY better than Woodrow Wilson. That guy was a pansy.