The New Kid
I'm sitting here as I type this in a towel, its only 6:28am and I'm getting ready for my new school. It's my first day , this used to make me nervous as hell now it's an old story and I just dont care. At every school there's exactly the same people, they just look different. Smokers, popular people, nerds, sluts, frigid's , its the exact same social structure and it seems like they have the same lame comments and "witty" remarks as all the others. Getting realy bored of this now. Oh well, at the very least it's something new to write about that I'm sure will lead to some "new" experiences.

It's like watching "Road Trip" then watching "Euro Trip", its just the exact same thing, different location with the same characters with a different appearance, just something slightly different that make's you say "huh? well this is different" until you realise it's just a stupid gimic and its just like all the others.

Website Stats
Just out of interest, here's a few interesting fact's about my website.
Contains no less than 22453 words ( not including this article )
The word " fuck" appears more than 57 times
The word "arse" appears more than 19 times
The word " whore" appears more than 14 times
The word "slut" appears more than 12 times
The word "shit" appears more than 8 times

Thats pretty good I think, considering its me.

A quiet place to call my own
Its 3:15am as I write this,
Theres just to many thought's rushing thru my head, all of them conflicting and leading from one to the next by some small connection. Though I find it somewhat relaxing to sit here and typing out a piece of writing that will mean nothing to anyone that read's it but me. It's nice to be able to sit away typing up about the small things that annoy me or entrance me in on way or another, to be able to have them digitaly encoded instead of taking up valuable space in my thoughts. Having this website is kind of like having a smaller brain in which to place alot of my problems within, even if no-one reads them it's fine with me, as long as there here to stay unaffected by everything else. This webpage whilst totaly insignificant in the grand scheme of thing's means alot to me, if only me. It's like my own little sercurity blanket at the age of 17 that I can cower away to when reality is too much to bear, its a place where I can tell all without being judged, with the exception of comments, which, strangely are like my own thought's but thought's that conflict naturaly, they are other people's opinions but they feel as if they are my own, its just not the opinion I show or regard in anyway. Think what you will.

Mirror , Mirror on the wall......
When you were little, did you ever try and picture what you'd look like when you were older? I remember when I was about 8, trying to picture who I'd be. Needless to say its not what I look like now, I'm not wearing a super hero outfit and I'm not covered in rippling muscles I don't even wear a cape.

I cant look at thing's that way anymore, not because of I'm more mature ( I'd still very much like to be a superhero with rippling muscle's ) but because I can't picture anything when I think about the future, there's just to many possibility's and I don't know what I want for myself. People use the expression "standing at the crossroads" or " a fork in a path" to try and explain this sort of situation but it's more like standing in a road that used to be straight and now there's 50 different path's in front of me, each more confusing than the last. Sometimes's I wish I was just that little kid I used to be, not because I want to be a child again but because I want to have that total self confidence and the knowledge of what I want to be, even if its something silly like being a superhero , a pirate or a secret agent with a thousand different gadgets.

I feel like Samson
Did anyone read the bible when they were younger? Maybe in religious studies? I'm not sure about your primary school's but it was mandatory to attend this class. Anyway, one such story was about a man named "Samson", he was a man with un-natural strength, he broke thru chain's with his strength alone, anyway, he told the woman he loved that his strength was in his hair , so when he slept his cut it off and the roman soldiers quickly ambushed him, without his hair he didn't have the strength to fight them.

Now I've probably gotten the whole story wrong but keep in mind its been about 8 years since I remember hearing the story.

I felt like Samson as I walked into the hairdresser today, my red tips soon to lay wasted on the polished tile floors. Though I wasn't losing my physical strength by letting them cut my hair, I felt as though I was losing part of my individuality, as though I was being made into something I'm not, maybe thats how Samson felt? He lost what made him unique, maybe not unique in the grand scheme of things, I'm sure there where men like him, but unique to the people that knew him, thats the way I feel.

I sort of imagine as I sat in the black leather chair, that I was a gingerbread man on a conveyor belt, like all the other gingerbread men before men I have the cookie cutter pressed onto me to make sure that there were no signs of individuality, that I was uniform like the rest of the gingerbread men. Seems like a pretty strange analogy but thats how I felt as I tried to relax and let the hairdresser do her work. Leaving the chair with a fake smile secretly dishearted by the whole experience. Like Samson without his hair and a gingerbread man without his flaw's, I walked out into the parking lot which seemed alot larger than when I had left it.

WWF
I don't know if there even is a "WWF" anymore, I'm not a wrestling fan as such, something about muscled guys prancing around a ring, trying to pin his opponent as quickly as possible, it offends my sexuality. But enough about the subliminal gay messages ( not realy subliminal, its kinda of IN YOUR FACE GAY actually ) in wrestling.

My brother ( age 15 ) and my dad's friend ( age 40 ) decided at some point to have abit of a backyard wrestling match. Seam's's pretty unfair right?

The fight started, my brother immediately tackled my dad's friend to the grounded, for the rest of the match my dad's friend was made into a total bitch. The only thing I could see more humiliating is if my brother started to spank him. I've got video of the match and I'll try and upload it soon, no promises tho.

So there you go, back yard wrestling at it's best.

I just got oral sex.
This is bullshit!
What sort of society do we live in where a man (yes... I'm talking about me ) cant have a glass of lemonaid? Thats right, a society that has fallen apart, broken down under its own social stigma, morales and ethics! I am reduced to having "Lime-aid" , Lemonaid's retarded cousin. This is like expecting sex and recieving oral. I searched franticaly for my poor lemon but no such luck, only limes. *Jamie looks at the limeaid* nope thats it! The limeaid has to go, I REFUSE to drink it.


Fuck you society, this is everyone's fault but mine.

BIG updates
Its 1:57am now.
Alot of you know I have trouble sleeping and I've got writers block at the moment , my book is sitting pretty at 3000 words, not bad for a days work. Anyway, for those of you who have just bookmarked this page go to my main page

www.angelfire.com/ego2/frosted_rabbit/

to see all the updates. No more poetry in my storys anymore, its all moved to its own little home.
Anyway, tell me what you think of the site updates. Thanks all.

Minor surgery
My first operation and didn't even lose my patient! I'm so proud!

I just cut a mole off my dad. With swiss army scissors. Yep. Thats fucked up. Don't worry, I tried to use nail clippers first but they weren't sharp enough. Though it still took me like 6 cuts with the scissors.

Its that feeling of steel mashing ( not cutting) thru flesh that just makes me want to be a doctor or at least a butcher. The way the blood trickles gently down the chaotic implement that was never intended to be used to do anything more than cut nails that brings a rise of vomit to my throat.

I declare this operation to be a success of course I have to break bones but thats OK, he'll be fine.

Everythings falling together nicely.
I was having one of those quiet thinks to myself as I was painting this morning, somewhere between the hours of 2 and 3 am, when I came to realize, everyones doing pretty well now.

Trent's got himself a girl that I was hopeing he would fall for and with the charm and charisma that is Trent, how could she resist? Trent's now going to a new school which is pretty amazing realy, starting all over again realy but its probley for the best.

Mason's got his last year of school ahead of him, we all know he'll get the grades that he deserves and I'm sure we'll see his technological advancements throw us into a new age of darkness, in which we are slave to robot. He's got his ex girlfriend coming down from Brisbane to see him which would be a pretty big deal for those two, they haven't seen each other in ages. Though I would constantly give her shit over anything and everything, I wouldn't have done it unless I didn't think she'd have some quick comeback, she was definitely smarter than the average bear.

Josh's starting a new job soon which'll be good, even if it doesn't last, he's got an attractive young girl who adores him to look forward to as well, even if he is unsure of everything. I'm sure those two will work things out for the best.

Then there's me realy, I've got my course in "Fine Arts" to look forward to which I'll start soon enough. I'm moving out very soon to the big city of Brisbane, all on my lonesome, which I think is going to be realy cool. It's always good to know that your perants are supporting your decisions and my perants still support me on this, even though I think its just so they can party and get drunk every night whilst listening to urban funk music. More importantly than all that is my new girlfriend, whom I love and adore. Hopeing to see her a whole lot more once I move as I will be alot closer to where she lives. Unfortunately is difficult to spend great quantities of time with her as we have to dance around past arrangements, camps, reluctant mothers, distance, etc etc etc but I would rather see her for a few minutes than not at all and I love being with her.

When everything falls into place so well, I think that my prayers are answered, that my selfless desire to protect those I love and care about have been fulfilled. But then again, if my prayers have been answered, why is Nikki Webster still around and why does that chick on "today tonight" still talk like that?

New Artwork
More Artwork in the art section of the website now.
PLEASE leave some constructive feedback people.
Thanks.

Fucking ignorant bitch
My goodness,
Its shocking to watch just how stupid some people are. A woman smuggles pot into Bali, gets caught and expects sympathy, I've got news for you bitch, the last bit of human contact your going to get on this earth is the firing squads lethal touch. Not only does she deserve death for smuggling in pot but she deserves the most sever death available for spouting off such stupid lines as " It's like the legal system is against me". Your fucking right its against you, your a fucking criminal.

Her father is just as bad with his great one liners like "What ever happened to "Guilty until proved innocent" ? " , well dick head, that may apply here but Bali has its own fucking rules that your stupid daughter agreed to when she put her first footstep down on there soil, she fucked up, not there legal system.

I end this article with a note, in my most Christian of pleads I ask god to send this bitch straight to hell. Hopefully one of the lowest levels that are generally reserved for such people as librarians and parking meter inspectors.

NEW ARTWORK
Yep, check out my artpage people, heaps of new artwork, 2 pages of it. Leave a comment and tell me what you all think.

Thanks All.

How Lucky Am I ???
Not sure If anyone has read my post about my "date" ( then again I'm not sure if anyone realy reads what I write) .

Well, needless to say, that night went well but the next day was even better. She had told me that she had broken up with her boyfriend. "Great" I thought " I'll have to ask her out next weekend". Later on that day I got a text message from her. The text message read " Will you go out with me?" . I was shocked, someone had beaten me to the punchline. A wise person once said " If you hesitate its probably not the right thing to do" ( maybe I'm the one who made this up, who knows ) This wasn't even a decision, I already knew my answer and its realy the only one I could give to a girl that I got along with so easily and who I found to be naturally beautiful with blue eyes that made me weak.

I rang her up and gave her my answer, as soon as I got of the phone I ended up prancing around the room like a 6 year old and had a massive smile on my face that made my parents suspicious of substance abuse.

Well, there you go, Jamie's got a girlfriend, this calls for a good drinking party and a cowboy costume.

wow! That was a scary 12 hours!
Not sure if anyone but myself noticed but the "My Storys" page was down yesterday due to some strange error on angelfire.com.

All is well now, atleast Ive learnt my leason about backing up all your material. Good thing its working now because I would have just deleted the site otherwise, theres no way I was about to type up 15000 words all over again.

Sites back up but maybe thats not a good thing.

Just got back from Brisbane.
Its the early hours of the morning now but I cant help writing about my night.

I was feeling rather depressed, as one does after your've taken a few to many blows to your trust and faith in people, when all of a sudden, a friend of mine invites me out. I've always had a thing for this girl, even if she did dye her hair from its natural blonde color to a few different shades of brown.

I tried not to get my hopes up about the night, maybe it was just a friendly gesture? Before I knew it I had found my way into the cinema's with her and 2 of her friends. We saw "Elecktra" which has rekindled new levels of hatred for motion pictures that I haven't felt since pirates of the Caribbean, yer yer, everyone loves that movie but I don't OK?!.

I sat there, enduring the horrible story lines, acting and suspense in this movie, trying to find the right moment to see if this was more than a friendly invite. The moment seemed right, I quickly reminded myself who I was and what I've accomplished before and make the first move of holding her hand. Sure, sounds lame but its easier to have someone move there hand away than have them turn their head when you try to kiss them. She didn't move her hand away but rather, held my hand back. "Yessss" I thought and leant in and kissed her. She didn't resist and returned the gesture.

The movie (FINALY!) ended ( IT WAS LIKE GETTING your WHISTS CUT ) and we all left the cinemas. She had to catch a bus home and I offered to walk her to her bus stop and wait around till it arrived. On the way there we began to talk about different things. I wasn't sure about her and her ex, seemed like a difficult situation which was rather intimidating. She informed me that "He's a wanker but were not technically broken up" . "My god!" I thought, I've hooked up with a chick thats got a boyfriend by all technical definitions". That was a swift blow to my morals there and I wondered if I'd act the same way if i knew this little detail before hand.

We continued our walk and I asked her "Do you have feelings for me or am I just a random? ". "I have feelings for you" she told me after toying around with the question. "YESSS" I thought to myself. "Do you like me?" she asked. Like she had done I toyed around with the question before answering " how could I not?" I said to her. She gave a soft yet excited "yay!" in response.

Her bus was about to leave and I took off my leather band with spikes, I placed it around her wrist, she objected " no, realy... " she started. I cut her off " don't worry, Just look after it for me till I see you next weekend" . She seemed to agree and I finished strapping it on.

Her bus left and so did she. I ran across the street with a vigor that only total acceptance of the opposite sex does.

Depression no more, welcome back to life Jamie.

To Much Faith Part 2
We arrived at the restuarant. She had dressed herself up, radiating pure beauty and there was me, trying to do the best with the clothes I can brought realy.

Still, we had a nice night as we both enjoyed each others company. We chatted about whatever we could, trying to avoiding the subject of our feelings, whilst I did bring them up once, I quickly dropped it when I saw the tears swelling up.

By the end of our meal we had decided to would be nice to take a walk along the beach nearby but almost as we spoke this it began to rain. "Its only a light shower" I had commented but it was raining heavly. We walked out into the weather and within 5 seconds where drenched to our underwear. Well, that is, If I was wearing underwear. ( That was a joke... ) . We thought it would be best to retreat home and stood undercover whilst we waited for our lift, shivering all the while.

Eventualy we made it home. Arguing on the way there who's idea it was to take a walk in the rain. I quickly changed clothes and left to the temporary refuge of my room. Sleep didnt come easyly that night and it wasnt until the early hours of the morning did I find the relative solatute of sleep.

Woken early that morning by a crash tackle. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" she told me. "Happy birthday" I said back to her, still unaware it was my birthday.

After my breakfast of coffee and coffee, we left and went to the local mall to spend my birthday chillin' around the centre. We caught a movie and got my hair dyed bright red. The whole time she seemed very distant, catching her starting into nothingness half the time. That night we were both sitting her room. I was idlely drawing and she was reading her new book. I went and sat at the end of her bed, thinking how pathetic I am and said to her " Its my birthday, will you give me one birthday wish? "
"Of course she replied"
"All I want if for you to kiss me then say that we cant be together, that your not strong enough for this to work"
Tears began to roll down her face as she stared deeplying into my eyes.
"I dont want to hurt you" she told me
"I'd more hurt if you didnt, if I left here not doing everything I could"
She learnt in and kissed me and I kissed her back. Most people would define romance with rose petals on red velvet sheets, I would define it as that moment in time, where it seemed as though all emotion was being shown in a simple gesture, something Ive shared with many people but I seemed to only find the true meaning of it then.

She broke away. Tears streaming down her face yet still she composed herself without breaking down into a horrible mess. "Im sorry, I cant" she said.

I stayed that night and left the next day. She came to the trainstation with me to say goodbye, we hugged and I went through the turnstyles. I tried with all my physical strength as I could not to look back but my heart thought otherwise, I turned back and mouthout " I love you" . She just looked back as I left.

Thats life, my life atleast.

See? Nothing stays horribley despressing for long..... if your me.
Home for 24 hours and I'm already invited out by a lovley girl. How lucky.

My theory that " Things never stay bad for long" is in full effect as always. Just when I think everything is fucked someones there to give me a helping hand out of my own little world of self-depressing thoughts. Theres nothing like an attractive girl to make your world chirp with the sounds of birds and clear away those clouds that were starting to look as though they were never going to fuck off.

and yes " fuck off" is a better expression to use than "clear away"

If you dont believe me then clear away.

Back in QLD
Yep, back in QLD.

Kinda glad to be back , away from alot of painful memories. Away from alot of good memories as well tho.
Hard to say which is better realy. Well, Its still nice to be back, back in my familiar surroundings of my room. Theres something relaxing about laying on your own bed. Maybe its just the people that relax me so much? I probably just need someone to give me a hug, Hanna used to be there for those, seems like such a long time ago that we used to call each other "Darling" in a rather British accent, with our chins held high and greeted each other with a hug. Now theres no-one like that . *sigh*.

Maybe I need a hug? Maybe the drugs just haven't kicked in yet?

YOU CANT FIRE ME! I QUIT!
Yep, finally, Jamie was left ( under his own free will) his job.

I cant stand people that arnt honest. ( But Jamie... what about all those things you did at work? ) They were supposed to pay me for my last week of work but didn't so I quit. I was nice enough to make my resignation phone call 2 days after I was supposed to be there. Very Nice of me indeed.
Phone conversation went something like this :

Jamie : good morning! Just calling to say that I hate you all and I quit, you never pay me on time and you wonder why I'm not at work!?
Work : But Jamie.. its a problem with the bank and....
Jamie : shut up, I quit, later days.

Jamie Lopez, world's greatest worker, signing out.