its been awhile... maybe not long enough
So its been sometime now that i had posted anything.. i dont even know what i posted.... something about heading home... prob... anyways.. things have been going fairly good other than a few isues but i wont mention here.. haha...so yea i drove home... what an experience.. i say for anyone that knows me and hvent taken the drive accross canada.. and u like to drive... DO IT... well worth the drive.. makes ya look at things alot different.. how beautiful our country is... and how large it is... its awsome :).... so yea i drove home all 4900 kms my self... stoped in ONT to visit with Shawna's folks.. oh yea that is my GF she rocks :D... been together now for about 9 weeks... but feels like 3 years... how crazy things go eh and her kids are pretty cool to :)
so yea back to heading home... long drive i arrived home on wed.. mom dad and terry were there to greet me... funny it was actually nice to see them when i got home... so i rested up on wed and thrus i headed out on the town ... visiting around and what not... but fri i was off to down to c town for the festival of lights. that was just interesting... met up with the cuz down there... and well.... i got smashed... had a few before we left.. but as soon as i got there... whatcha know who the hell ran up to me and expected me to just give em a hug.... anyone who knows me knows who this is... that was just not good.. fine say hi... but dont hug me and say welcome home after all the heart ache i went threw.... i guess i just didnt want that to happen.. anyways after that i headed to the ticket tent... 90$ worth of tickets later 20 to be exact... well put it this way... i had 3 left when i got back to the hotel.. and i also stoped off at st james gate.... e gad i was sooooooo ficken smashed it was unreal.. back to the hotel alone... missing shawna like crazy... so i called her in a drunken stuper... that is what she told me but i dont remember... any who... think got crazy that week.. shawna actually quit her job.. got a new one and told them she is heading to PEI for 2 weeks... she flew down and spent my trip on PEI with me... that was awsome :D.... we had a blast.. she showed up on sat and watched the fireworks in c town they rocked.... and then headed down to the show on sun... i guess we were both really tired and stuff she was jet lagged and all.. so we left early to head back to the hotel.... so the following week we toured around PEi for a few days... north cape... south shore near union corner... that was awsome.. i found her a sand dollar after looking for 2 hours yeash.. what a guy has to do... haha... we went down to chelton beach... got some sun... which was nice... didnt make it to cavendish other than when me her terry and the kids headed to that new park.. its ok.. not no rainbow valley though... but was nice to see the kids and i gotsome pics.... pics are awsome... so on monday we headed back to PEI.... drove for 23 straight hours and made it into Ste saint marie to visit her folks and suprise her kids.. they thought she was in calgary... so when they woke up they seen me.. but they new i was going there.. so i told them there was a suprise in teh bedroom for them that i got.. hahaha... they tackled shawna.. and her daughter started to cry... was pretty sweet to see them so suprised..so we stayted there for 2 nights to rest up. see around the town and visit with her family.. it was nice :).. ill go back another time i am sure... so on the thrus afternoon we headed the other half of the trip back to calgary.... yeash 2900 kms to go...
we stopped just before the manitobia border and tented it for the night.. and got up at like 6 and drove straight on threw.. arrived in calgary 12 on fri night... this was a week ago now.... what a drive... she drove i drove we drove each other nuts.. haha not really but it was nice... so now i am back in calgary looking at some crazy ideas now.. got a wicked job.. making tonnes of money and a great company to work for... i think things are finally going to be good for me and shawna... i am somewhat considering buying a house out here.. along with buying the house back home if things go ok for me.... but we will see in the next few weeks... rent is crazy and its prob actually cheeper to buy and possiably sell in a couple years and make money.... but yeash the cost of the houses.. avg of 300,000 .... but what can ya do eh...
so yea that is what i been up to .... in a nut shell... glad i went home to visit people.. but really glad to be back out here also... finacially this is the place for me to be.... im glad i made the step to come out here... i just might be calling calgary my home now....
so cheers for now
ill be updating again sometime
anyone who reads this take care
and keep in touch

24 more days
wow some interesting stuff happening... i met someone... a wonderful lady friend :D... she rocks.... spent lots of time with her reciently to see how things go and they are going great :).... her kids are awsome to.... Shawna is her name... orginally from ONT... but livin in Calgary now.... so i dunno what i am up to for the next few months.... maybe stay here in calgary or edmonton dunno yet... but i know i am heading back out this way... some of it for her most cause of me cause i need the money and work is good out here..... so yea.... 24 more days till we hit the long road back to PEI me and jp are gettin excited.... cant wait to see everyone and have LOTS and LOTS of drinks :D... its gunna be a blast the festival of lights that is.... wicked line up.... so now i been stressing a bit cause of some stuff back home... the folks are finding it tough with the bills and such and the topic of buying the house came up.. again... yeash i gota deside what i wanna do now... i want the house.. but i want to get my bills sorted out first... what to do what to do oh well what can ya do right.. just take it one day at a time..
well gota run..
relax
god bless
cheers
RY

time flys when your having... er... some fun
so i am counting the days really.. till i get to leave to head home... lets see how many is it....something like 43 more days till we are on the road to PEI i cant wait really... but lately this livin in a hotel is gettin to me... 3 hotels in like 6 weeks.. drives me insane.... i wish i was back home sittin in my house relaxing or working on my truck.. oh well.... so alot has happened i guess.. every day i get a wicked view of the mountains... that is about all that is good about this job project.. its nothing but headaches and crap like that... but what can ya do right... hopefully stick it out till we leave.... so i met a shit load of people from calgary.. alot of them are in on my picture page of edmon and areas.... met some lovely ladies.. met some crazies... met one that well.. she just gives me that feeling but i think things are way to complicated..... typical situation for me i guess.. find someone i actually can say i like and well they arent even interested... er well i dont konw if they are.. she is what ever... another day in the life of Ry..... so yea.. i miss home miss my cuz and all the gang.. was nice last week katie was out visitin friends and we hung out.. also denis is out here.. and he hung out to.. nice to spend time with family again... a person dosent relize now much they miss certain people untill they are not just there.....
miss everyone back home
see ya all soon
cheers
Ry

i gota be F'in insane
what the heck is wrong with me.... every time i see a pic a vision or get a feeling i go about 4 years backward... wtf is up with that... i work 12hrs a day but stil i find a moment to get these feelings screwing with me.... why is that so.. jeese.. really does anyone else have this prob or ever herd of it... i just cant seam to push it aside what so ever... what does it take to just relize its done.... :S but then again is it... man oh man... well i have no idea really... its just plain difficult... the onlyh thing i have these days to keep me going is the ablity to get my bills paid off or paid down... its slowing happening... and another thing is to visit PEI once again soon... will be 7 months since i set foot on that wonderful red soil... the first of july i hope to be home for the festival of light but we will see.... first time since highschool i will actually have time off.... how do u say road trip me and JP its going to be interesting... no rules.. no worries.. just two guys who have alot on their minds to sort shit out... thats about it... he is excited and so am i really... get to see my cuz's and all my new friends i met before i left.. just have to plan things wisely is all ... but it wil happen... who knows what will happen between now and when i get home.. maybe i will see things more clearly and be settled with things.. maybe not... all iknow is i wish i could go back in time and do things differently... but untill someone makes a time machine i guess i have to deal with the crap i done in the past... well nite for now.. gettin late well sorta is but not 3 hours time difference..
cheers
god bless
good nite
good morning
and see ya all soon
Ry

some days
well here i am... made it to calgary.. oh joy oh blyss.... interesting first week.... 3 rooms of our guys had to leave the hotel... some messed up problems.. one they moved 2 guys into another room and lost apparently ... their food... messed up but oh well guess its sorted out...oh well not my problem... plus alot of friggen crap going on at work... why do i always seam to be the go to guy when things are messed up royally... why... jeese... why cant people have some common sence and look at what they are doing make things safe and do it once... UGGGGGGGG.. sometime i just wanna leave.... i soooo wanna be back on the island its sickening... i met alot i mean ALOT of great friends i truly trust... but jeese all my shit is back home... everything i know :S... im still finding it hard being here.. so far away.... most people on the crew are from BC or closer... they dont have far to go.... aw wel.... i guess i am just a bit depressed today.. thinking about alot of past experiences... and wishing i could ride my mind of these.. they are starting to be a burden on me... every time i spend a few moment alone... with out any distractions they all come back.... its very mentally draining....someday i might be able to forget all these painfull memories and look at it as great experiences.... wow... im just messed up tonight :S.... i wanna go out alone and just get drunk but who konws where ill end up ..... or maybe i should.... :S.... dunno really..... well just gota say anyone who reads this from the Isle and knws me well i miss everyone i know greatly and i will be home in due time... just gota sort shit out.
cheers
peace out
god bless
Ry

will it ever end
well i dont know what is up with me.. my mind is playing some nasty tricks on me now... wtf is up with that... i go to the bar and i see someone.. dammit i think its her... i almost loose it... then find out its not.. no chance of it being her.. but jeese it scares me... happens every dam time i go out... but wow... sometimes i pray and wish it was her... call me crazy i guess... is it worth having so many people call me nuts or crazy for even wanting to think of being back with her again.. is this normal... i do not know any more.... like mom said i seams to be liking it out nere.. not so negative any more.. guess its the money... stressless so far.... but back to that thing.. wow... i misss so much of her.. the way she lookd at me when we did go out to a bar and no one new we were together... when she came in from shoveling the car out and her face all red and her hair messy.... these are the things i think about.. along with all the memories i had with her... back of trucks bedford highway... the pools at EYES.... moncton trip.. soooo much... ever last thing i miss about her..... so many things about the little one to.... i just hope these feelings will pass... i am absolutely usless to anyone until i can get over these feelings.. if i even will.....4 months and ill be 30 wow... no married.. no kids.... nothing has changed since highschool.... its really starting to bother me.... 4 years ago i thought i would be married settled down by now or what not..... but wow.. what a speed bump i hit... now with relationship stuf i am at my lowest... i cant even look at a nice woman and say wow... she is awsome.... dont get no feeling of hey i wanna see this girl again really soon.... just not there.... :S... it keeps going back to her... uggggggg...... welll i must run pack up my crap and head down to calgary for a party then work for bunch of weeks hopefully make some awsome cash.... so i am out here
peace out
god bless
Ry

Dreams and Deja vu
ok so anyone out there know what this crap means... well the whole deja vu thing just freaks me out at times... but then there are these dreams i have... they are so vivid its scary.... i have them about people... as almost as if its a sign to contact these people... or not... i made i this far from recovering from stuff but now i wake up late at night panicing and stuff. not knowing what to do... all confused then relize it was a dream... but jeese it effects how i feel and stufff... i dont like that.. makes the thoughts and hopes all come back again.... is this normal or not... i do not know...i just know in the past i feel things then i come to find out i should have acted on those feelings... how strange it seams... i believe i might have talked about this before but today now.. well its like 955 right now.. and i was up at like 530 and couldnt sleep cause of another one of these so called dreams... am i crazy.... what is it :S... i wish i could get past this because there is so much out there for me i know it... but when your stuck in a certain place in your heart its hard to just forget stuff... and when these things come back in a weird way... its like wow... wtf is going on here..... anyways im doing not to bad... dealing with stuff now and again... but other than that doing not to bad... still dont know how long i am stying out here.... but one good thing i got a truck now so i can go touring around finally.....just keep checkin back to see whats up
cheers
Ry

do u know who u are cause i think i know who i am
well its been what 3 or more months or so i been out here in the wild west... and sometimes thats what it is... wild... only if i let it really.. Edmonton is a nice city so far anyways.. nothing happened yet to make me hate it YET... still looking for a vehicle so i can tour around more ... that will come with time... so bout my heading.... been sometime that i didn't really know who i am.... i think i might have figured it out... i am me... some people like me... some don't... but have been getting alot of why cant u be who u are when u are alone with people than with a group.. guess that is called something but i don't know it right now.... i know i will help anyone i know... i don't talk about people... i like to think i am kind.. have good beliefs.... am i a good person i like to think so... made alot of good friends here in edmonton... all of which fit in a certain part of my heart... those know more some know less.... also the whole different cultures thing is awsome... i met some great people.... a great Asian fella that i can say is a good friend of mine.. met a what u call east Indian lady friend which is awsome.... i care about all these people alot... even some people who are born and raised in the city limits.. ihave alot of respect for these people also they show me different things about the world i wouldn't have seen other wise..... i am a small town guy from a small province with small beliefs in society... guess taking it slow is the island way of life... if i live in a city long enough guess ill adapt to the go fast hurry up.. gotta get it done type of living these people call their home ... but as for this guy... taking it easy and taking one day at a time is my rule... people don't get hurt and stressed out so much that way... nothing wrong with going fast just guess i am not used to it all but maybe in due time ill understand.... so my morals are easy... take it easy... i wanna be in love again dunno if that will happen... not saying it wont but not saying it will... been hurt.. and still those parts of my heart haven't healed yet from my past relationships.. guess u call that a learning road... a bumpy one but a learning one i guess.... but i know i am me.... people met me say i am unique.. but that makes me... those same people say don't change cause that is how u are.... i feel i can change with the right people around me... whether its for love or awsome relationships who knows.... friendships are awsome... i just want to take everyone back home and show them my life.... what i do when i am down what i do when i am up... someday i just might find someone that wants to share that with me... and we can change together... that is how life goes doesn't it... change together....that is wha ti want.. i want to change together with someone... i shouldn't have to just change.. its a learning thing.... man oh man i just blab on about stuff when i get in here.... prob isn't making sense but should it really... this is what goes on threw my thinking and in my head.... take it as u wish.... anyways i must go finish up some stuf.... laundry and cleaing... take care to anyone who reads this...
and i miss PEI.. and i will be back.... a change man in some ways and in others ill still be the same ole sarcastic do anything for anyone... helping hand... that everyone back home knows..... u can change how u are with somethings but u cant change who u are...
peace
god bless
good nite
Ry

it has been awhile
well now... what have i been doing... lets see..... partied this past weekend was a wicked time... Red Deer is pretty fun town...went down on fri with a bunch of people and stayed till sunday at a hotel... partied on fri... fun times... see some wicked ass bartenders... blowing fire balls and shit... got vids of that stuff.... seen a wicked band also.. bagpipes rock :D.... sat well relaxed at a good friends place most of the day after i cooked them pancakes and stuff :D.. but its all good... then i finally got into the mood sat night.. uggg 2 nights in a row... went out to some wild bills and met up with a shit load of POFers.... was an awsome time.. met a bunch i been looking forward to meeting... wicked times had by all.... took a bunch of pics.... not to many just enough :D.... so been gettin weird questions asked to me lately... who ya seeing who ya dating... just wanna make it clear not seeing anyone.. yea going out to (meet) people that is about it.. nothing major... being as i am 5000km away from (my) home i unsure if iwant to get to close to anyone... but one never knows i guess.... my heart just isnt where i want it right now..... also as for how long i am going to be around here... uncertain also... but i am pretty sure ill be back on the isle for awhile this summer reguardless if i stay till fall... ill see :).... so that is a bit of new info no what i been up to... check back soon in the new link for some new pics from recient events :D...
cheers
god bless
Ry

where were u a year ago today
year ago today eh... hummm should i go back and read... nope dont think so.. but i have a good idea of where i was.... this is one of those days i dont care who u are but u should have someone to say ya love.. or even show how much u care... do something for someone even if its a stranger or even someone whom u think dosent want to hear from ya... er why not eh... it shows how u really feel i guess.. even though some people wont believe it... just gota say to anyone who reads this i do care about yas all... some more than others but i do cherrish all my friends new friends and family more so than i have before... even little people that i had great contact with i care about alot also.... so on that note i guess i should take off get cleaned up and ready for another day of work...
cheers
god bless
pease out
Ry




PS happy V Day ....



A&K