At Phil's party (Nov 11th):
Kat (to Steve): I wouldn't have put "Small" on your jersey, Shteve, because if i were you i wouldn't really wanna advertise that..
Jeeves: How did you get penis outta him?
Chris: Whee.. room spinning..
Kat: Yeah, i think it's time for me to-
Chris: -spread your legs?
Chris: I want some action!
Kat: From who?
Chris: I don't care!
Kat (to Matt and Kat M): You two getting married yet?
Matt: Yup.
Kat: When?
Kat M: Next year..
Kat: Oooh, can i sing?
Phil: No, don't spoil their wedding..
At this point Kat elbows Phil really hard (aiming for his stomach but she got his bony hip-bone, ow!) and spills some of her drink as she walks away..
People around: Woah..
Kat (to Phil): Fuck you, then.
Chris: I thought you were taken..
Kat: Huh? yeah..
Chris: you're acting whory..
Kat: HA! hey! this is just like last night! I AM NOT EASY!
Chris: Mmmm... BONDAGE!
Kat: This light is weird.. it's flashing really cool.. in a snuff-film kinda way.
Chris: What, you've been in a snuff film?
Kat: Yeeesss, Chris, that's why i'm LIVING.
Chris: Woohoo lapdance!
Jen: Apparently. I don't believe it, though.
Tasha: Everything but??
Kat: What? "everything but"? SLUT!
(silence)
Kat: *covering her mouth* oooh, that was a little loud. I pulled a 'Sarah'.
Kat: ow ow ow ow ow! i've totally fucked my neck..
Sarah: How does one fuck one's neck?
Kat: With great difficulty.
Jeeves (to Chris): Say "penis"!
Craig: penis!
Chris: penis! why?
Jeeves: I don't know!
Chris: vagina!
Kat: vaginal passages..
*Jeeves, Chris and Craig give Kat an odd look*
Phil (in weird voice): DRUNK VISION!
About Phil's new "knob":
Phil: Look!
Kat: Oooh, you got a new knob!
Phil: Yeah.. it gives me 20% more power!
Kat: I better not fuck this one then..
*the guys in the backseat all pull weird looks*
'Cesca: Okaaaaay.
Kat: Angie!
Angie: Kat, darling!
Kat: Cool dress!
Angie: it's not mine..
Kat: Well.. you look good in someone else's dress!
Angie: And you look.. nice and skanky.
Juliette: Use this..
Sarah: No, i've got a big one..
Juliette: Oh you have a big one.. okay.
Angie (to Karl): Hi, fuckface.
Chris: Why is called "fuckface"? could it be that his face is fucked?
Jeeves (sing-song voice): Mr. Williams wears weird pa-ants.. funny pa-ants..
Jeeves: I want a longer chain on it [his new beautiful silver pocket-watch]..
Nick: Why?
Kat: More swingage..
Kat: *walks in the room, points at Glen and laughs..*
Glen: Leave me alone..
Kat: Hell no! you kissed Linda!
Kat: Oh it's okay. Now every time you fuck up i can say, "Oh that's okay, cause remember.. you kissed Linda once!"
Glen: Nick's groin knocked Katie off the chair?
Andy: Okay, i don't wanna know..
Kat: No, Andy, you're not a Greek warrior.
Andy: Yeah i am, i'm Andrewclus.
Kat: Sorry, i was just picturing Nick in the desert going, "Oh god, my sperm's dying!"
Kat: God, are we gay or are we gay!
Sarah: No, say steated!
Sarah: Uh oh.. i just fucked this pen..
Lisa: What's happening today?
Kat: I'm going to chop off your head and put it in a glass jar.
Lisa: Oh just the usual, then?
Kat: NHO? whazzat?
Steve: NIPPLE HARD-ON..!
Kat: Ah, 'cos if you'd said NHL that'd be National Hockey League, but because you said NHO, that's National hard-on..
Karl/Steve/Phil: What?
Kat (laughing): Oops..!
Kat: I can just imagine the news..: "today all men are allowed to stay home because it's National hard-on day.."!
In the Chubb(tm) lockshop Petone workshop:
Brian: I wanna sell my wife and buy a GTO..
Matt: Well i'd buy her, but she'd be too expensive..
Brian: This is totally fucked!
Phil: Your wife is totally fucked?
Brian: No, this lock!
Rebecca: I won..
Kat: Yeah, but that's only because you're 20..
Kat: The black chick's his wife.
Rach: Yes, you told me that.
Kat: 'Cos when she was on 'Top of the Pops' she was pregnant.
Rach: Is it his child?
Kat: Well, yes-
Rach: Are they married?.. Oh!
Kat: My friend's part of a race in "The Lord of the Rings" where they're all blonde-haired and blue-eyed. That's like, Hitler's dream..
Rach: Well he should go see it, then.
Kat: He's dead.
Rach: I realise.
Kat: And HE was dark-haired!
Rach: Smells like a mix between cat pee and onion dip.
Kat: That didn't make sense, so let's write it down.
Kat: I just rolled into my bag and i got scared.
Rach: Ooooh, itchy brain. Ow, i'm hot again.
Kat: How do they know that he was a 'star'? Do they know why he was shot? he coulda been dealing drugs behind their backs - he coulda been selling young vietnamese children..