Nick: You.. cat-killer!
Jeeves: Chris..
Nick: ..is a big great..
Jeeves: ..guy full of..
Nick: cat-killer!
Jeeves: ..good stuff.
Nick: mongol!
Jeeves: Mongol? What kinda of an insult is
that?
Nick: Well mongols aren’t very nice..
(laughing fit)
Jeeves: Who named the Dictaphone.. it sounds stupid.. it sounds like DICK.
Jeeves: Look, here’s my knobbed stick. Heed my advice, for I hold a knobbed..... stick.
Jeeves: You know, in the olden days, most
people didn’t wanna go to prison for fear of being
alone.. I just don’t wanna be buttfucked.
Nick: Yeah.
Davinia: But the pan makes this nifty "Sflang!" sound when you bash some errant sod over the head with it!
Steve: Shhh, no giving away my *cough* roleplaying *cough*.
Lisa: Apostrophes are commas in the sky.. or
flying commas.
Kat: Flying apostrophes?
Lisa: What are you talking about, flying
apostrophes??! they ARE apostrophes!
Kat: You realise.. every one of those people.. is a person. (This one has an explanation. i'm not -that- blonde.)
Julie: Oh okay, you can just give me a 1/2
piece if you want.
Kat: It's not a haff piece, it's a 3/4
piece.
Julie: Oh okay then.
Julie: Music is a revelation above philosophy.
Julie: Have you seen 'Gone in 60..'
Kat: I thought you were about to say, 'Have you
seen God?' and i was about to say, 'uh.. Julie..'
Kat (to Julie): You know, you just provide me with hours of endless entertainment.
Julie: I'm an exotic dancer, you know.
Kat: Uh, what?
Julie: You know, i dance on Vivian St.
Kat: Okay...
Phil: Yeah, i work Vivian tomorrow.
Kat: what?
Phil: You know, Vivian St?
Kat: Yes, i know Vivian St, but why are you
worki-.. oh.
(pause)
Kat: Hee hee. I'll have to come visit you then.
Nudge nudge wink wink.
Phil: Very funny.
Julie: Japanese is hard..
Kat: You're not in the Japanese class.
Julie: I'm in -my- Japanese class..
Julie: No.. it's a perfect octave.
Kat: Fine, then.
Julie: Cause it's.. perfect.
Kat: Yeah, like you, Julie.
(pause)
Kat: Notice how my voice just then was
-dripping- with sarcasm?
Julie: No, no i didn't.
Julie: I'll always remember that.
Kat: Well you should, you're canadian.
Sarah: Oh.. i thought that was a reindeer.
Sarah: Yeah.. he thinks i'd suit a nipple-ring.
Sarah: I can smell my skirt!
Kat: I've got a part for you in my new
film.
Sarah: Is it a goth?
Kat: Nope.
Sarah: Oh my god! that's a surprise!
Kat: It's a bitch.
Sarah: Oh.
Kat: Hear what she said? 'Tobi, you bad
person!' She only said that to avoid calling him a bad
boy.
(pause)
Kat: Cause that would be spank-worthy... if
that's a word.
Sarah: Uh.. no.
Sarah: 666.. the scary number. Hey, the
hospital is at 666 High St.
Kat: Oooooo. So what's that supposed to mean,
you're going to die at the hospital??! Most people DO!
Sarah: And i was like, "okay, head back up to my FACE."
Kat: I like the number 8.. it should go up to
like, 800.
Sarah: 88.
Kat: Naah, that's too many.
J. Romanovsky: Imagine these firemen.. jumping
out of the- is it a cabin in a firetruck? Anyway. You
know what they jump out.. imagine that, them jumping
out then getting out their hoses...
Sarah: Hee hee..
Kat: Are you thinking what i'm thinking??
Sarah: No that's used adjectivally.
Sarah: Smell my skirt!
Kat: No thankyou.
J. Romanovsky: A man emerges..
Kat: portant..wearing..
J. Romanovsky: un petit enfant.. now what's
that, a small child..
Sarah: ..with trembling lips..
Kat: No more pregnancies, please, dear.
Anonymous: Quite. [Uh.. what??]
Lisa: He took your bed?
Julie: Yeah!
Kat: Okay...
Kat: What the hell is this kanji?
Mel: Ah.. koochoosensei.
Kat: Which is..?
Mel: Principal?
Kat: Good god. No wonder students hate
them.
Mel: Huh?
Kat: I'd get tongue-tied over their title.
Kat: I'm hiding from your mum.
Sarah: Oh. Okay..
Kat: I hope i don't run into her.
Sarah: Why? didn't you bring the articles for
her?
Kat: I didn't -do- the articles.
Sarah: Oh. Well i'd hide, too!!
Kat: You can't stick your head in there, there are chips in there!
Rach: I never apologise. Sorry, but that's just the way i am, Sam.
Kat: I don't speak Thailand.
Kat: No. Bad carpet. I can't sleep here.
Rach: Is that a stain? me no like stains.
Rach: Designing some socks, are you?
Kat: I wish i had my quotebook with me! I forgot you were funny.
Kat: And suddenly you grow a beard, i get freaked out and you eat me.
Richard: Those people will die... of death.
Richard: Let's take photos of various forms of happiness!
Kat: You should be in the Poly[nesian] Club. You like flinging your arms around.
Kat: Damn that accordion!
Kat: I need to mow my legs.
Rach: Get off.
Kat: Nooo.. it's a bed and beds are for
meeee..
Rach: Yes and they're also for me now GET OFF.
Kat: Don't hurt yourself, that's my job!
Rach: He has a hole in his ass.
Kat: Well i should hope he has a hole in his
ass.
Kat: Are you alright, sleepy girl?
Rach: I'm sleepy.
Rach: That's not fair, your ass is being sat on.
Kat: Turn the light off so the bird shuts off.
Kat: I can't remember the 1st 6 years of my
life!
Rach: I can - i remember the 1st day of
school.. don't you?
Kat: Uh, kinda. Sorta. Well.. no.
Kat (back in 95 -on video): And over here you can see a lovely view of.. nothing.
Kat (back in 95): Many bushmen are in these parts and they yell 'help me'. That's why you can hear the wind blow sometimes.
Kat (95 again): The tree stopped her fall, causing her to stay alive.
Kat (95): He dropped it 300 years ago.. if he was still alive then. I don't know, i'm a bit judgemental.
Rach: Just get some names and tell them they got tuberculosis from landslides.
Rach: She always makes love to shoes.
(pause)
Rach: Oh leave her. She wants to make love to
your shoe.
Kat: Melinda's brand-spanking.. red car.
Kat: I got a splinter from your ass! i got a splinter after spanking you!
Kat: And Americans with their nuclear weapons when they could be wiping out world hunger.
Phil: With their nuclear weapons?
(laughing fit)
Kat: Now that is going in the Quote Book!
Beej: I'm EVIL.
Kat: Don't tell her that.
Beej: I am. I'm evil con carne.
Beej: Did you tell Laura my real last name? Please tell me you did.
Kat: i did?
Beej: Well she ICQd me and said she figured out my real last name and what it was. And I'm thinking, I hope Kat told her that because otherwise...
Kat: i didn't tell her.. maybe she got it from somewhere.
Beej: isn't this a little.. on the odd side?
Kat: Sure. but you're cute, you're a good friend of mine and she's nosy.
Beej: Mind you it doesn't weird me out or anything because even if she IS a stalker, she's half a planet away. But it's still very strange. Oh well, she's a cute stalker.
Kat: Honey, i told her.
Beej: Stop scaring me!
Beej: Fuck this. I'm burning my computer.
Kat: Oi! Then i'll burn you.
Beej: No you'll send your psycho stalker friend to do it.
Beej: Thingimajig wants to see you on ICQ. I squealed, "Kat's on!" And she can't see you so I think she's hurt.
Kat: Oh bugger. thanks. i'll have to message her now.
Beej: Sowwy. I could tell her that you're dead if you want!
J. Romanovsky: Now study the pictures and write a sentence in japanese using naru, narimasu, naratte.. to become.
Mel: See, this girl here, she's thinking.. "i want to become a man."
Kat: No, he's a doctor. She wants to become.. married to her doctor.
(pause)
Kat: Sure it's a girl? it could be a little boy wanting to grow up to become a doctor.
Mel: No, she's wearing a dress.
Kat: So? it's the new millenium! that's okay!
Kat: My god, look at that tongue.
Sarah (not listening): Mmmm hmm.
Kat: I'll never kiss a tiger.
Sarah: Yeah.. okay..
Kat: I have a pretty impressive tongue, apparently.
Sarah: Hee hee.
Kat: Hey!
Sarah: I know how to play the others, but they all suck.
Kat: Naughty boy.. spank him.
Sarah: Oh PLEASE don't.
Kat: I've decided i don't like the smell of burning flesh.
Sarah: I have really sore legs.. no! not from that!
(pause)
Sarah: Oh okay yes. From that.
Sarah: I am in immense pain.
Kat: Well stop having wild-
Sarah: No no no no no!!
(pause)
Sarah: It's not that wild.
Lisa: Why do talk at all? we never say anything worth listening to.. we should all be mutes, that would be better.
Kat: How would we communicate?
Lisa: And that way we wouldn't have to do these dumb monologues! Yeah, i can see definite benefits in this.. yes, i'm seeing the upside.. (Kat has a laughing fit here).. what??
Kat: You dyed your hair and you didn't let us participate?
Petra: I feel like such a monkey today.
Out of context this sounds really dodgy..:
Kat: You have to lick it.
Lisa: I licked it. It doesn't work for me.
Kat: But you have to lick along the top, not along the side of it.
Lisa: I licked it!
Kat: Yes but it's where you lick that's important.
J. Romanovsky: Who hasn't the done the homework? Okay, who HAS done the homework? Anyone?
D. Gray: Okay there's an extra notice here.. anyone want one-on-one bathing coaching?
(pause)
D. Gray: Hang on, Bathing coaching? Is this notice right?
During a filming session with friends:
Phil (overheard): Oh, when the camera goes on i just can't do it.
Kat (downstairs): Filming porn again, honey?
Chris: No, don't film me there, film me there.
Chris: Phil, stop taking it out!
Kat (from the other room): Yeah stop taking it out in public, Phil!
Phil (in Kat's direction): Now you're just sick.
Jeeves: No, we're just doing the scene with Chris and Phil now.
Kat: Ooooo. Can i watch?
Chris: Oh, Kat. For God's sake. (to Jeeves) Kat's mental.
Kat: I'm not drunk, no.
Chris: I didn't say you were drunk! i said you were mental.
Kat: Well you knew that already.
Chris: Oh so you do have one.
Phil: Why yes.
Kat: I have no clue when i'll see you next, Chris, so later, my sweet. Take care. Come on Saturday if you like.
Chris: Uh yes.. i'll think about it.
Chris leaves the car.
Kat: Or don't come at all.
Phil: Now you're just sick.
Kat: I wasn't thinking that!
Kat: Okay, these guys aren't doing anything interesting, so i won't watch. (walking away).
Jeeves: Okay, Phil? on Chris now.
Kat (running back): What??
Sarah: I was just about to write, "Antigone wants to bury.. Punjab."
Kat: Why Punjab?
Sarah: i was thinking about it.
Lisa: Antigone's a very ambitious girl, isn't she? The whole of Punjab? where would she get the dirt from? she'd have to cart it in from somewhere.
(pause)
Lisa: What if somebody noticed? What if you lived in Punjab?
Kat: You just keep going until somebody shuts you up, don't you?
Lisa: .... yes.
D. Gray: Have you heard the song that's going around email called 'Combo #5'? About chinese takeaways?
Adam: I think so.
D. Gray: Well i won't sing it for you, i'm not drunk enough.
Sarah: enough?
Kat: You're drunk at all, Miss?
D. Gray: Well it would be fun!
This isn't as seedy as it sounds:
Chris: Phil, get off Kat.
Kat: Yes, you're heavy.
Phil: That isn't even my whole weight!
Jeeves: Okay, i'm going to go do Chris now.
Kat: Do Chris?
Jeeves: This film is so symbolic of society's intervention-
Chris: Shut up, Rajeev.
Julie: Yeah.. in my ha-oose. (that's her natural pronunciation of 'house').
Kat: Your ha-oose?
Julie: Fine, i'll be a stupid american and say, 'howse'.
Kat: Silly Canucks.
J. Romanovsky: Tell Georgie we'll find a little room and do it together.
J. Romanovsky: You must use a B or 2B pencil.
Sarah: I think i actually have a 2B.. 2B or not 2B.. hee hee.
Kat groans.
Phil: And that, Kat, is how you fuck my gearbox.
Dustin: Where are my socks?
Tim: I sold them to the Russian Mafia for 3 nuclear missiles. 1 of which was a dud.
