This is it. This is the one. It's Booties signature burger The BIG Bootie Burger. You can only get here at Booties. Nobody makes it like Booties. This babies got it all:

Mayonniase

Mustard

Catsup

BBQ

Ranch

Pickles

Lettuce

Tomatoes

Onions

Chili peppers

Alfalfa sprouts

Twelve kinds of cheese

And don't forget Booties own Secret Bootie Sauce. That hits the spot. Trust me when you eat this baby you'll know when it's coming out two hours later. Mmm mmmm good!

For all you guys who haven't had any in a while, this one's for you. The Big Bootie Bass Bonanza. We were going to display a picture of the real sandwich but we thought it just wouldn't show you just how slimy and smelly pussy, ah, I mean fish really is. Just look at those slimy little critters just begging for you to come and take a wiggle your toung in. They want it. They want it bad. We top this sucker off with our very own creamy Bootie Bitch Sauce. It tastes and smells just like the real thing. Makes me want to bust a nut just looking at it. Yum.

When just The Big Bootie Burger isn't enough. When you got to have those 10,000 calories in just one meal. When you feel the insatiable urge to take a crap for three hours. When you want to produce enough gas to power a 747, you just gotta have The Big Bootie Belly Buster. This Goliath's got everything the original Big Bootie Burger has and more. We slap 7 greasy patties on this honey. Try one today, or two if you dare. Just don't come to my house afterwards.

For all you cheap mutha's out there. Here's the cheapest, crappiest, and smallest burger on the planet. The Itty Bitty Baby Bootie Buddy Burger. We don't even put any meat in this fucking thing. Hey what the hell do you expect for 59 cents you cheap ass. Why don't you spring for a real burger tight wad. You say your kids can't eat that much, well hog wash. Those dam toothpicks need some meat on their bones. How are the little bastards going to grow up to be Big Bad Bootie Bullies if you don't stuff their faces and fatten them up. So go for it all and get The Big Bootie Burger.