Booties is currently experiencing tremendous growth and as such has many exciting career opportunities available. At booties training is #1. We expect a lot out of our employees and give practically nothing back. Booties has a very inticing benefits package including:

• No sick pay
• Paid holidays - what the hell is a paid holiday?
• Vacation pay:
• 1 unpaid days after 10 years of service
• 2 unpaid days after 20 years of service
• If your not dead after 30 years of service we'll give you 3 whole unpaid vacation days plus a shiny new "30 Years of Service" pin.........WOW!. (must be returned after you finally do die)

• The Booties 401K (that is 401 we Keep your money) plan

• Maternity leave - 6 hours
• Just remember bitch you've got six hours to pop that critter out. If it looks like it's going to take too longs then get a fucking c-section and get your ass back to work!

• Big Bootie Boss - You are the boss, the big cheese, and the fucking asshole everyone wants to kill and shove in their track compactor. Responsibilities include overseeing the day-to-day operations of a Booties restaurant. No experience is required because we expect you to be a fucking idiot anyway. We just expect you to give up all contact with the outside world and devote the rest of your natural life to Booties because "Once a Bootie, always a Bootie". If you try to quite after we spend our time and money training you to the Bootie way of life we will kick your ass, blow your house, rape your mother, marry your sister, and serve your dogs intestine to our customers.
• Big Bootie Bonehead - You are on the frontline, at the register, cooking the shit we serve to the pathetic public. You're the pinhead, snot nosed, pizza faced, lowlife, toothless, tweeker, bastard that the public usually completely disrespects and shits on every chance they get. Your job is to serve the customer in the worst possible way imaginable. Here at Booties we pride ourselves in our ability to really piss people off and that’s what we expect from our employees.
• Big Bootie Bouncer (formerly known as Big Bootie Ball Buster) - Hey, we piss a lot of people off. They get mad, they get pissed, and they get ugly, violent, and stinky. We don't like these people. So when somebody comes in with a piss poor attitude your job it kick their fucking asses and throw them out on the street. Just make sure nobody sees you, we don't want any lawsuits. This is the only job at Booties that comes with a bonus. We give $10 per ass kicked. The more asses you kick, the more money. As an added incentive if you kick 10 asses in one day we'll give you a free Big Bootie Belly Buster hamburger just to show our appreciation.
• Big Bootie Dumpster Diver- This is perhaps the most important job at Booties. Your job is dig through all the trash corals at our competitors; McDonalds, Burger King, Carls Jr., Wendy's, Taco Bell. Hey this is where we get our food. What, do you think we actually buy this shit? How else could we make a quality burger that tastes like shit? Here at Booties we are always thinking of our environment and the status of our landfills. They've got some pretty good crap in those trash corals. Why should it just go to waste in some landfill when we could be serving it to our customers? PLEASE NOTE: Three years experience required for this position. If you've never been homeless, dug in trash dumpsters, or begged for food on a street corner then DON'T WASTE OUR FUCKING TIME YOU LOOSER!!! Go somewhere else!

If you think you have what it takes. If you think you can cut it at Booties then drop by and fill out an application today. We do pre-hire drug screening - ANY TEST RETURNING WITH NEGATIVE RESULTS FOR DRUGS WILL DISQUALIFY YOU FROM THE APPLICATION PROCESS! If you are not an alcoholic, drug addict, prone to violent outbursts, schizophrenic, or a child molester then don't bother to fucking apply you pathetic cock sucker.