Scans!

Now on to one of my favourite bits! w00t! Right, so a couple of years ago or last year...not that you care or anything...I got a scanner. I have wanted a scanner since 1997, so it was a sweet occasion. I originally wanted it to scan hot nude photos of myself - I mean, drawings - but after a while I got tired of this and ended up scanning photos, pricetags, parts of my body and random stuff out of my fridge. How better to express my joyful and rapturous personality than with a procession of stupid things I've scanned? Enjoy. No, I'm not just quoting the Coke slogan, that was a direct order.

My WristNote the concavity due to my watchband. Those liney things would stay there for almost an hour after I took it off.

Wrongnessin its purest form.

My handafter I soaked it in Silver Nitrate. Silver Nitrate 0WNZ!

My handafter it was covered with stink bug guts.

Two days later...Slooooowly but surely!

Stinkblasters, anyone?I love it when they shorten 'assorted' to 'ass'. 'Specially for this one.

Scariest. Mango. Ever.And they put these things on kid's drinks. Sick. Just sick.

Hairy Carrot!I found this carrot in the vegie tub in the fridge. It tasted like crap.

With deepest sympathy...We got this card with some flowers last year when my half-sister Amy died. It was supposed to say "Doug, Eve and girls", but somebody messed it up at the shop.

Lowelz!A nutrition label from a jelly drink. Check the cholesterol.

My TOEThis is a blood blister I got from rockhopping at Avalon. Quite a nice one, actually...

My Driving Licence!If I get pulled over and show the cops that, they're gonna be asking me how much. I'd pay to see a more flirtatious licence picture.

Bird Tonguesfrom a biology handout. It's pr0n outside of the reproductive system. I remember somebody whispering in class "I wish I was a female parrot!"

Some really hot guy...Yep, that hair and those pants do it for me every time. Gag.

The Scariest Thingto go into my scanner. Ever. Never let Singleton touch your pages with his red pen, for he may deface them as he did mine, with that evil, evil smiley face.

Congratulations!See, computers do have a sense of humour.

Any takers?A quiz Lee gave at the end of his speech. Nicely done.

How Many?!This is from a form some kayak hiring people gave us to sign. There were twenty in the kayak and the little one said...

NOOOO!!! NOT AGAIN!!!From 10am Sunday to 6:55 am Monday I worked on my marine studies paper. That's (counts on fingers) 20 hours and 55 minutes. Straight. And what do I get? This. And it was six months after I handed it in.