John's News of the World
The Latest in Current Events, Featuring ...
- Humor
- Satire
- Sarcasm
- Outright Lies
A LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
JUNE 29TH, 1998
Hello, and welcome to this first edition of John's News of the World!
In these pages, I will try to keep you abreast of the latest happenings in the headlines, bringing you all the hottest stories, many of which are not covered in the mainstream press due to their complete lack of veracity.
Yes, I think I may safely guarantee that absolutely nothing I will print here has any truth to it whatsoever. In this I differ from other publications in that I admit that I am making it all up. In fact, should you come across anything in these pages that has the ring of truth to it, please let me know and I will remove the offending item immediately.
It should also be noted that all images of celebrities included herein are used entirely without their permission, entirely for humorous purposes, and I hope to offend nobody, particularly Keith Richards, whom I understand can be particularly vicious when it is possible to wake him up.
Now, all that being said, please read through the stories linked below, and remember our motto .......
Without A Lie There Is No Truth
Today's Top Stories
Queen to Name Richards National Monument
Lee Harvey Oswald Plans 1998 Tour
Make-A-Wish Foundation to Slaughter Michael Bolton
Linda Tripp Claims Victory For Ugly Women
Go Back to the Real World!
Email: jtwomey@wwa.com
