Some recognition of Richards was expected in the wake of the recent knighting of Elton John and the elevation of Petula Clark to the rank of Commander of the British Empire. However, friends and members of the public alike have expressed surprise at the nature of the award.
"We felt that this particular designation was the only one appropriate to an artist as heavily timeworn and drug-addled as Mr. Richards," explained the Hon. Nigel Watley-Smith, press liason to Her Majesty. "We considered a knighthood, but since no reliable test could prove that Mr. Richards was either competent to understand the nature of the honor being bestowed upon him, or indeed alive at all in any medical sense, we decided that 'national monument' was more suitable."
Sirs Paul McCartney and Elton John refused comment upon the elevation of the Stone, who has had widely publicized feuds with both stars. Bandmate Mick Jagger expressed pleasure at the honor, but was doubtful about Richards' reaction. "Well, he hasn't a bloody clue any more, has he?" Jagger said. "I mean, he hasn't been able to string two sentences together since the mid-'70s. It's a wonder he can still move, let alone play, so I shouldn't think it'll mean all that much to him."
Mr. Richards, when awoken for comment, responded, "Eh? What was the question? Piss off, mate, or I'll ...". He then lapsed back into unconsciousness.
He is expected to be put on permanent display in a plexiglass box at Ealing Railway Station, site of the 1960 meeting between Jagger and Richards that led to the formation of the Rolling Stones.
