Brent Interview

(this actually aired on NBC during halftime of game two of the NBA finals)

Bob Costas: Hello sports fans, this is Bob Costas coming to you live via e-mail, if that is possible, from the very home of Brent Johnson. You may be wondering what happened to the scheduled interview with Manute Bull. and if you are, so am I. I have no clue why I am interviewing this kid, I just do what NBC tells me to. In fact, this has nothing to do with sports. Anyways, Brent, I recently read somewhere that you had just graduated. How does it feel?

Brent: It feels great Bob.

Bob Costas: I’m sure it does. When exactly was your ceremony and did you have an open house?

Brent: It was May 26th and yes, I did.

Bob Costas: Could you elaborate a little bit, your killing me here.

Brent: Oh, sure. The open house was on the 25th. It was a great time, but setting up for it sucked. My mom was a complete nazi for like the 3 previous days trying to get everything ready. I was pretty busy my self scanning about 250 pictures and then rendering them into a pretty cool slide show that I transferred to a video cassette and then showed on our TV downstairs. Everyone had a great time at the open house, and then my mom had a little bit of ‘an embarrass Brent time where my good friends got up and told asinine stories about me. A good time was had by all.

Bob Costas: Yes. I’m just not sure why I wasn’t invited.

Brent: Your invitation must have gotten lost in the mail.

Bob Costas: My ass it did. Do you have any summer plans?

Brent: I have already gone to New York and Washington D.C. for a week. That was a pretty good time. It was the school band trip. We got to see all of the sights there was to see, well...not all of them, but the major ones. It doesn’t compare to the Australia trip, but honestly Bob, nothing can. We played at Union Station in D.C.. That was really cool because where we played had such a huge reverberation rate that our notes would just echo. We also played at United Nations in New York. There we had old foreign women stand up and pretend that they were conducting us, pretty funny stuff.

Bob Costas: I didn’t know that you were in band Brent. What instrument do you play?

Brent: I play the trumpet.

Bob Costas: That instrument is for losers. Do you have any other plans for the rest of the summer?

Brent: Well, right know I am enjoying being jobless and I am just hanging out with my friends every night. But, in a short while I am going to go stay at my fathers house in Fargo and work at the gas station he recently purchased in Page, North Dakota. I’ll spend some time at our lake cabin and a bunch of my friends are planning on coming down with my to my cabin and we are just going to bum our for a week. I’m really looking forward to it.

Bob Costas: I see. It reminds me of my youth. When I used to go pick strawberries from the old crazy drunkards farm back in Indiana. Ahhh, those were the day.

Brent: huh?

Bob Costas: Nevermind. How about college Brent? What are you plans for that?

Brent: I’ll be attending the North Dakota State University coming this fall. I’m not really to sure what I want to go into. I’m thinking about taking the pre-law route, by my mom really wants me to go the engineering path. We’ll see how it works out.

Bob Costas: You know, I went to college.

Brent: I don’t care.

Bob Costas: That’s the story of my life. That basically concludes our interview. Stay tuned to watch the Lakers completely dominated the rest of the half. Even though I think that the Clippers should be here. This is Bob Costas completely wasting my time and yours. I have no idea why Brent decided to conduct a fake interview. He told me off camera that he just wanted to write a different e-mail or some bullroar like that. NBC sports dominates.

*note to 'outsiders': brent isn't insane.*