The Non-Scorers Club Web Page!

Jake: Hi, I'm Jake "J-Man" Cunningham, creator of this web site dedicated to the members of the Non-Scorers Club! Allow me to show you around! First--

Seth: Hey! Why do you get to show everyone around? I am Seth, and I am cooler than you are! Even my nickname, "House," is cooler than yours! I should show this person around!

Jason: You only wish that your nickname was cool. I, Jason D, know all about cool, and I have the coolest nickname ever... "Du-Mee!"

Scott: Oh, please. The only people that want to "do-you" are your sicko Navy buddies. After all, the infinitely cool nickname of "Eternal Sexy" could only be given to me, Scott Frazier.

Brad: Scott, don't make me beat you. You should be called, "Eternal Pansy." Jake is going to have his best friend, the awesome "Bad" Brad Brown show this person around!

Justin: You aren't Jake's best friend! I, Justin Lindland, am Jake's best friend!

Jake: You wish, Lump! I am showing this person around, so you losers can stop arguing about it!

Lucie: Whoa, Jake. Who are you to be calling anyone else a loser? If this person wants to have a good time, they will let me, Lucie, show them around.

Mike: Hey, now that I'm done reading my book, I, Mike "The" Duncan can guide this person through the web site!

Seth: Not a chance, you pansy! Only someone from Wisconsin is cool enough to handle this tough job!

Jason: Wisconsin blows! Go Navy!

Scott: No, you're both wrong! Go Washington!

Brad: What are you guys talking about!? GO DUCKS!

Jake: Brad! Don't forget Syracuse!

Justin: Jake, what is it with you and Syracuse!? Why don't you just MARRY Syracuse!?

Lucie: Um, Justin... that was really, really lame and made absolutely no sense at all.

Justin: Shut up, Lucie! I'll kick your ass! In fact, I'll kick all of your asses!

Scott: You wish, doll boy! I'm going to show this person around, and that's that! I'll kick all of your sorry asses if I have to!

Jake: Dream on, Scott! You GIRLS are goin' down!

The group of pathetic Non-Scorers begins to beat the poop out of each other. Eventually, they decide that a group of them should show you around. Which group of los-, er, Non-Scorers would you like to show you around?

Would you like the group of Jake, Seth, and Lucie to show you around?

How about the group of Jason, Scott, and Mike?

Or what about the final group of Brad and Justin?

You are Non-Scoring Fan number to view our page since July 28th, 1998!

Or... would you like to risk things and go with a surprise mystery guest!?